The Problem With War; Gift for hp_emofest!
Recipient: The Group
Title: The Problem With War
Author: scarletladyy
Beta: lydia_golis
Pairing/s: Pansy/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Torture, character death
Length: 4,412
Summary: Ginny has some devastating news for Pansy that changes her world forever.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe - all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Author's Notes: Thank you to lydia_golis for betaing this!
The Problem With War
Pansy was softly kissing Ginny's neck, blowing and teasing her gently with her breath. It was hours after everyone else had gone to bed and they were alone in an empty classroom. Ginny was sitting on the teacher's desk, arms and legs spread wide, skirt hitched up to her waist, and to Pansy's delight, topless.
Pansy whispered sweet nothings in Ginny's ear and Ginny giggled with delight. Pansy placed one hand on Ginny's thigh and slowly moved it upwards, placing the other on her right breast and caressing softly. Then their lips touched, gently, and their tongues danced around each other playfully.
Pansy made her way down Ginny's body, kissing and licking it, and Ginny lent back on the table. Pansy lifted up the rest of Ginny's skirt and ripped Ginny's thong off of her. Ginny's breathing increased and she was moaning softly as Pansy's fingers traced the outline of her feminine sex.
“WHAT THE HELL?”
Pansy and Ginny jumped up, startled, eyes wide in horror and shock; Draco Malfoy strode into the room, now calmer than his initial reaction had been.
“Well, well, well, what have we here ladies?” he was smirking as the two women gathered up their clothes and hastily put them on.
“Shove off, Malfoy,” retorted Ginny, furious at being caught.
“Didn't know you had such poor taste, Pans.” Draco winked at his best friend and she just pulled a friendly face at him.
“Can you leave us alone please?” She gestured to the door, but Ginny stepped in before he could answer.
“No, it's fine, I'll go.” Ginny raced out the door, an angry and embarrassed look on her face.
“You minx.” Draco laughed. “I can't believe you had a Weasley!”
“Draco!” Pansy warned him. “You can't tell anyone about this.”
“I won't, I promise!” he was still smirking as he put his arm round Pansy. They left the classroom and he escorted her back to their dungeons.
*
“I love you,” Pansy whispered into Ginny's ear.
“I don't love you,” was Ginny's frosty reply. The two girls sat on a bench outside of Hogwarts, two days after Draco had caught them.
“Yes you do, don't deny it,” begged Pansy, blowing gently across Ginny's cheek.
“I don't. It's got to stop, us, we need to stop.”
“Why?” asked Pansy. “Is it because of Malfoy? Because he won't tell...”
“No. It's just, it's wrong,” Ginny whispered.
“You know it's not...” Pansy kissed Ginny's neck, but Ginny pushed her away. “Love me, Ginny,” begged Pansy.
“It's over,” Ginny said quietly, kissing Pansy on the forehead and walking back up to the castle.
*
Pansy sat still for a while, taking in Ginny's words. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she knew nobody must see the Slytherin Princess like this, so she tore off fast to her dorm. It was evening and everybody else was having dinner, but the thought of food made her feel sick, and she couldn't face seeing Ginny happy with her friends.
Before Pansy had gotten close to Ginny, and Ginny had let her in, Pansy had had nobody. Her parents were Death Eaters and were never around anyway; she was "raised" by the Parkinson nanny who despised her, for a reason Pansy had never worked out. On the rare occasions she did see them, they were cruel. Her mother was constantly calling her fat and ugly. She was often encouraging Pansy to have surgery on her face, and her father had nothing to say to her but cruel retorts about how Draco would never want to marry such a pathetic creature. Pansy almost wished she didn't have parents; she thought she'd be much happier then. They were the reason she spent most of her holidays at Hogwarts.
Pansy remembered the Christmas when her parents demanded her home; they had invited the Malfoy's and tried to set up a betrothal between Draco and Pansy, but the two housemates had both refused. They were like brother and sister, not lovers, and Pansy had known for years that she didn't fancy men.
Pansy revelled in spending time with her friends, but as the years went on, they all took up different activities and weren't around as much. Draco was busy with family stuff and Quidditch, and her gang of Slytherin girls didn't want to be around her anymore because of a nasty rumour Daphne started about Pansy sexually abusing her. Of course, it wasn't true, but Daphne wanted to be in control and she'd do anything to get it, including making everyone think Pansy was a sexual pervert.
Pansy had grown incredibly lonely and found it very difficult to cope, so she had found alternative methods, or as she called it, 'her way of coping'. Whenever she was stressed, anxious, upset or hurt, Pansy would self harm; she had a kit underneath her bed full of things she could use. Her favourite was the lighter and the cigarettes, she didn't smoke, no, she hated the thought, but she would light the cigarettes and burn herself, usually on her thighs, or where she didn't think people would find the marks.
There was a time that Pansy went too far; she was in the common room alone one lunchtime reading a letter her parents had sent her. They told her they didn't want her as a daughter anymore, that she wasn't worth their efforts and was just a nuisance. Pansy cried and cried and grabbed the closest sharp object she could find, a muggle knife from Goyle's muggle studies class. She slashed her wrists without thinking; she hated her life and wanted it to go away. As she did each slash, she cried out and the blood ran out of her veins. That was the day Draco discovered her secret; he came in, having forgotten his Quidditch things and found Pansy passed out from blood loss on the floor. She was surrounded in her own blood and Draco was shocked and upset - he took her straight to the hospital wing and didn't leave her side for the whole week she was in there.
When Pansy left the hospital wing she had promised Draco she wouldn't do it anymore, she had nearly died and Draco had told her he wouldn't know what he'd do without her. Her life improved after that incident; Draco started to spend more time with her and stuck up for her when Daphne was a bitch, and she bumped into Ginny a few times.
Of course, their relationship started with meaningless insults in the corridors, but there was raw tension between the two and soon enough they were meeting in private to spend time alone together. For several months, life was good, and Pansy forgot all of her other troubles; she had her best friend back, and a lover, even if she did have to hide her.
Once in her dorm, after hearing such cruel words from Ginny, Pansy got out her old self harming kit and scratched her arms all over with a pin, then went on to burn herself with a cigarette end. Her thighs got it the worst; they looked a terrible mess when she was finished.
That night was the first night she had cried herself to sleep in months and she found herself scratching at her wounds, just reopening them.
*
“What does she want?” Hermione asked Ginny, who shook her head in reply. They were walking back from class to their common room and saw Pansy standing outside, leaning against the portrait.
“Ginny, please, listen...” Pansy ran forward, thinking that if she could get Ginny to listen maybe things would be alright again.
“Come on.” Ginny took Hermione's arm and forced her through the portrait. “Fuck off, Parkinslut,” Ginny called behind her.
“What was that all about, Ginny?” asked Hermione, guiding her friend over to the empty sofa by the fire.
“God knows, she's a loon.” Ginny tried to shrug Hermione off the scent, but as usual, Hermione kept asking questions.
“It seemed like she wanted you to listen to her. Seriously, there must have been something that started this -” Hermione began to say.
“There isn't!” snapped Ginny, grabbing her books and running up to her dorm, slamming the door behind her.
Ginny did love Pansy, she really did, and it hurt her so much to call it off, but she felt she had to. If her parents or her brothers found out, they'd be furious - not only because Pansy was a woman, but because she was a Slytherin. She could just imagine how Ron would react; he had had enough trouble dealing when she was with Dean.
Ginny knew her family was full of love, and she knew perfectly well that Pansy came from a family of nothing but hate, but Ginny's family was only full of love for the things they believed were worthy of love. She knew very well she couldn't just bring Pansy home and introduce her to her parents as though there was absolutely nothing unusual about the situation.
Ginny had thought about this for a long time; the only solution was for both of them to move on, and the only way she could get Pansy to get over her was to be as cruel as possible. Then, Ginny thought, Pansy would have to get over her because she wouldn't love someone so cruel, right? She was torn up inside when she pictured Pansy's face over and over again; the Slytherin reduced to begging on Gryffindor territory in front of not only herself, but her friend too.
As Ginny got into bed that night, the only scene playing in her head was Pansy's broken expression. It took her forever to get to sleep.
Six Years Later
“THERE SHE IS!” Harry screamed, paralysing Pansy with his wand before she could run any further. Harry and Ron had captured Pansy Parkinson a few hours ago; she had been skulking around the outside of their camp, spying and looking for information for her side, the dark side. “Think you can escape, Parkinson?” Harry laughed and tied her hands viciously behind her back.
Pansy looked at Harry, really looked at him; there were scars all over his face, he was unkept and unshaven. The years of the war had really worn him out and he wasn't the do-gooder he had once been. He had stooped as low as to take hostages and torture them. Three had already been lost from Pansy's side - Daphne Greengrass had been tortured to death by Harry himself, Theodore Nott had been killed upon arrival and Vincent Crabbe had been forgotten about -- he had starved to death in one of the camp's tents.
Voldemort had soon recruited the Death Eaters' youngsters; they all took the mark upon leaving Hogwarts, and Pansy was only too happy to be among the new recruits. She was broken, crushed, a shell inside herself, and she wanted to die for this cause. Not because she believed in it, but because it was the only way out that she could see.
Harry dragged Pansy across the ground to the tent she had originally been in, and this time he made sure she was tied up properly, but Pansy wasn't paying attention.
She only knew Harry was tying her to a chair. She was taking in her surroundings - Ron, Hermione and Sirius were in the corner watching, they all looked so different from how she had seen them at Hogwarts. Ron was pale and thinner, Hermione's hair had darkened and Sirius looked old and tired.
“Anything to say?” Harry lifted the paralysis spell and slapped Pansy around the face, hard, when she ignored him.
“No, no, I haven't anything to say.”
“What were you doing here?” demanded Harry, but she still wouldn't answer. Pansy looked Harry up and down now and saw a ring on his left hand, fourth finger in. He was married.
“When did you have time to marry, Potter?” Pansy was gaining fight.
“Aha. That's what you want. Yes, I did marry Ginny - she told me all about the sordid affair between you.” Harry was smirking now.
Her retort came quick. “What's it like to know you can't please your wife as well as I could?”
“What's it like to know the woman you still love, after all these years, hates your guts?” Pansy looked away at Harry's harsh words, and he saw her eyes glisten with tears.
“Come on.” he motioned to his friends to leave the room.
“Leaving so soon, Potter?” mocked Pansy, but all she got in reply was a nasty smirk and a wink.
Then she walked in. The love of Pansy's life. She looked as beautiful as ever. Ginny was wearing a black robe and her hair was a muck darker ginger than it used to be. She strode slowly into the room, looking Pansy up and down. Then her pursed lips formed a smile, and Ginny folded her arms. “Never thought I'd see you again.”
“And why's that?” Pansy whispered, losing her fight already.
“I was told I'd broken you,” Ginny laughed. Pansy didn't respond. “Do you like it?” Ginny held up her wedding ring, flashing it in front of Pansy's face. She smiled at her former lover.
“It's beautiful," Pansy finally managed to say.
“I know. Harry spent so much on it.”
“I still love you,” Pansy blurted out.
“And I'm going to say the same thing to you I did that day. I don't love you.” Silence filled the room and Pansy stared at the ground. “Now tell me, where is your camp?”
“That's none of your business.”
Ginny slapped Pansy across the face. “I think you'll find it is my business. If you want to live, that is.”
“What makes you think I care about living?”
Ginny smirked. “Me.”
Something in Pansy stirred at that. Was there hope of ever gaining Ginny back? But reality soon came crashing down on Pansy as she received a swift kick to her stomach. It was too late, too far gone. There was no way of getting Ginny back now if she couldn't even manage it straight after the breakup.
“Oi, I'm talking to you,” Ginny snapped. “Tell me where your camp is.”
“Not unless you grant me what I want.”
“You are in no position to make deals, Parkinson.”
“Guess you'll never know then.”
“Well, after we kill you we'll just torture another poor sod. You youngsters just can't stop coming to spy on us. Didn't your elders teach you anything? Or do they just not want you around?”
“I know Draco wants me around.”
Ginny's high pitched laugh echoed around the tent. “One person. Aren't you loved?”
“I'll tell you if you fuck me. One last time.” The desperation in Pansy's voice was obvious, and Ginny took in what Pansy had said. It looked as though she was considering it for a moment, but Ginny's answer wasn't kind.
“I wouldn't fuck you again if you paid me.” Ginny spat on Pansy's face and preceded to wipe the spit all over, tracing her features and the curve of her mouth.
“I can pay you.”
“Didn't you hear me?” Despite this, Ginny took a layer of clothing off; she was now wearing only a matching lilac lingerie set that Harry had bought her for Christmas a few years ago. “Like it?”
“If you don't want to fuck me then what the hell are you doing?” Pansy was angry now. She didn't like being teased. Her heart was still broken and her insides raw from the experience with Ginny years ago; she'd never gotten over it and had never been able to love anyone else. Her relationships with her friends suffered even more. She and Draco hardly ever spoke. But she told herself he cared. That he wanted her around. But did he? He spent so much time with a woman called Astoria now. Pansy wasn't jealous, but she wasn't happy for him either. She found it nearly impossible to be happy these days.
“Teasing you. That's part of the fun of having a hostage.”
“Really? I thought the point was to torture them until they gave up information. Don't you know how this works? Or have they never trusted you with the reins before? It's nice to know I'm special enough to be the Weaselette's first training case.”
Ginny was fuming; her eyes opened wide and she screamed, “CRUCIO!” Pansy yelled in pain and struggled in her bonds.
“You think I don't know how to curse, Parkinson? Think I don't know how to play in a war?”
Pansy looked directly into Ginny's eyes, looking for any sign of love, compassion, or feeling at all. She could spot nothing but hate and rage and anger.
“What did Potter do to you, to make you so twisted and so full of hatred inside, Ginny? Doesn't he love you like you wish he did, like I used to?”
“Used to? You're pathetic enough to still do.”
“So it's pathetic to love you now, is it?” In trying to insult her, Ginny had accidentally insulted herself, and Pansy couldn't help but smirk. Ginny was always doing things like that when they were younger.
“What about Draco? Where is he?” demanded Ginny, her arm held out with her wand ready to strike. “Tell me!”
“He's busy.”
“Doing what? Who are you planning to kill next?”
“He's with his new girlfriend.”
“Jealous?”
“No. You know you were, and are, my one true love.”
Ginny ignored that and went on, “What's his agenda? What does Voldemort have him do?” Ginny paced across the room in front of Pansy. Maybe she could get something out of her after all, she mused, though she thought she knew her well enough to know she wouldn't give her friends up. Pansy's next words proved her right.
“Like I'd tell you, after all you've done to me.”
“CRUCIO!” Ginny performed the spell again, sending sears of pain through Pansy's veins, but Pansy was determined not to give up any information, at least, not without a deal. She owed her side that much before she died, because that's what she had come here to do, or at least, that's what she told herself. Part of her thought that she'd just got herself captured to see Ginny one last time, because living without her wasn't worth the pain and suffering.
“You must know more spells than that,” mocked Pansy, a little smile in her lips. She always loved teasing Ginny.
“Oh, I do. But I wouldn't waste the genius of them on you.” Ginny circled Pansy, thinking about the best way to get the information from her. Maybe conning her would work.
“One kiss then, if you won't fuck me. Just one passionate kiss and I'll tell you all you need to know.”
“I'll fuck you,” proposed Ginny, “if you give me the information first. Then you can go back to your friends, to be found again. I should at least give you a head start.” She smirked at Pansy.
Pansy was surprised; she hadn't expected that. But maybe that hate and anger inside Ginny was because she still loved her. Maybe. “How do I know you'll keep your end of the deal?”
Ginny paused a moment before she replied, during which she walked towards Pansy and stroked her cheek, looking lovingly into her eyes. “Because I still love you.”
A smile escaped from Pansy's lips, and in turn Ginny smiled too. For that one moment, they reconnected, as though all the hurt, pain and suffering of the last few years had never happened, and they were still in love, back at Hogwarts. Then Ginny turned away, back to business.
“So. What do you have to tell me? Where's your camp? What's your plan?”
“They don't tell me everything, you know. But our camp is up in Scotland.” Pansy took a moment to describe to Ginny exactly where it was and how to get there.
Then she added, “And Draco's currently enlisting a team of Death Eaters to go after Madam Rosmerta.”
“Why? What do they want with her?”Ginny asked, curious at the Death Eaters' choice of hostage, and the death they planned for her.
“Information of course. She's the local barmaid, she hears and sees things a lot of others wouldn't,” explained Pansy.
“And the overall plan?”
“To kill you lot.”
“Anything else?” Ginny was pacing up and down the length of the cell again; she was anxious. She knew Harry would be pleased with her, but he would also be angry at the deal she made, regardless of whether or not she planned to go through with it. He wasn't the noble man he used to be.
“Only one other thing I can think of - they're scheduling a raid tonight, somewhere in Diagon Alley, but I only overheard that so I didn't get any of the details.”
“Ginny?” Harry stepped into the tent, his hands in his pockets, casually observing the scene. He had had some worries that his wife would revert back to her old ways, her first love, but it didn't look like that now. Ginny had told Harry she might spend some time teasing Pansy.
Ginny turned to Harry and spoke coldly. “The little bitch has spoken. I have everything we need to know.”
“That's settled then. Put her in the cell.”
“WHAT?” exclaimed Pansy. “You said...we...we had a deal!”
“You really think I would've kept a deal with a Death Eater?” Ginny laughed at her. She untied Pansy from the chair but kept the Slytherin's arms behind her back, and very well tied.
“Never thought she'd fall for that one,” remarked Harry, impressed by the way Ginny had handled the whole situation.
“Come on, Parkinson.” Ginny kept a hold of Pansy and walked towards Harry; he touched his wife's arm.
“Here,” Harry got out a blindfold and started to put it on Pansy. She struggled, but Ginny kicked her in the shins to warn her.
*
It was several hours before Pansy awoke, and when she did she found herself in a dark, dank cell. The blindfold Potter had put on her earlier was gone. There were bars on the window and the walls were rotten and moldy, the smell was foul. Opposite her cell was a stone wall - not much of a view. She thought she'd go insane if they left her here for too long.
When she tried to get up, Pansy found her legs had shackles on them, connected with a large chain, and they were bolted solidly to the floor. No chance of an easy escape.
“She's awake, boys.” That was the voice of Harry himself, and she could see Ron, Fred and George behind him. Harry was opening her cell and they were eagerly awaiting to be let in. “They wanted to see you, you know, to say hello.”
Whatever they wanted, Pansy knew it wasn't to say a friendly hello, their faces were full of anger and hate, as though years of bottled up feelings were waiting to be taken out on her.
The boys rushed into the room and released her from her shackles, but she didn't have much time to feel relieved.
“LEVICORPUS,” screamed Ron, and Pansy found herself flung in the air.
“You evil, little cow,” Fred said through gritted teeth.
“What? What have I ever done to you?” Pansy said desperately. She hated heights.
“What you did to Ginny!” Ron let Pansy fall to the ground. Her face was scratched in the fall, and the cuts started to bleed.
“ADFLICTATIO!” George yelled. The spell inflicted great amounts of pain on Pansy's body. She began shaking and writhing.
Pointing his wand at her arm, Ron cast another spell. “OSSIS EFFERGO.” This caused Pansy's arm to break, and she screamed at the pain, clutching it with her other arm.
Fred was aiming for her legs this time.
“No, please, not again,” Pansy begged, “I didn't hurt your sister. She loved me, she still does!”
“Nobody could ever love a cold-hearted bitch like you, Parkinson,” muttered Ron, his wand pointing at Pansy's heart.
Pansy looked around; all three Weasley boys were staring at her, faces alight with anger and rage. They were devoted to getting revenge. Harry, however, was coolly watching from the sidelines; he was sitting on the floor, legs spread out and his arms leaning on top of them lazily. He didn't care whether Pansy got hurt. She was just another casualty to him.
Aiming at her legs, Fred yelled his next painful spell. “LACERO!” Slashes and cuts appeared on Pansy's legs and thighs, as though someone had slashed her with a knife.
With nearly no voice left, Pansy found it very hard to scream, but the pain was too intense and she couldn't keep it in.
“What's all this noise, what's going on here?” Ginny ran into the cell, shocked at the scene before her.
“It's time for you to pay, Parkinson,” Ron said through gritted teeth, as he continued to break the rest of the bones in Pansy's body. She was in sheer agony.
“NO!” Ginny screamed, running towards Pansy. Harry stood up sharply and stopped her, pulling her away. “Ron, NO!” she screamed, using all her strength to try and get past Harry before it was too late. The sounds of Pansy's screams were filling the room and Ginny was devastated. She drew her wand and finally hexed Harry out of the way.
“AVADA KEDAVRA!” George performed the killing curse just as Ginny knelt down next to Pansy. Ginny took Pansy's head in her arms and bent down. In Pansy's last moments, she got what she had wanted for all those years: Ginny kissed her, passionately, romantically.
“I love you, Pansy,” Ginny whispered, staring into her eyes. Pansy smiled weakly just before the curse took her away. Ginny screamed in pain and cradled the now dead Pansy in her arms. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?” she turned to face her brothers, still holding Pansy, rocking her body slowly.
“We did it for you...” Ron was suddenly ashamed of their behaviour; they had honestly thought Ginny had been abused by Pansy.
“But I loved her! I always have done!” Ginny was sobbing and shaking, her heart truly broken. “I loved her...” she whispered, cradling and rocking Pansy back and forth. “I loved her.”
The problem with war is that it always turns the nicest people into cold hearted, vicious souls.
Title: The Problem With War
Author: scarletladyy
Beta: lydia_golis
Pairing/s: Pansy/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Torture, character death
Length: 4,412
Summary: Ginny has some devastating news for Pansy that changes her world forever.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe - all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Author's Notes: Thank you to lydia_golis for betaing this!
The Problem With War
Pansy was softly kissing Ginny's neck, blowing and teasing her gently with her breath. It was hours after everyone else had gone to bed and they were alone in an empty classroom. Ginny was sitting on the teacher's desk, arms and legs spread wide, skirt hitched up to her waist, and to Pansy's delight, topless.
Pansy whispered sweet nothings in Ginny's ear and Ginny giggled with delight. Pansy placed one hand on Ginny's thigh and slowly moved it upwards, placing the other on her right breast and caressing softly. Then their lips touched, gently, and their tongues danced around each other playfully.
Pansy made her way down Ginny's body, kissing and licking it, and Ginny lent back on the table. Pansy lifted up the rest of Ginny's skirt and ripped Ginny's thong off of her. Ginny's breathing increased and she was moaning softly as Pansy's fingers traced the outline of her feminine sex.
“WHAT THE HELL?”
Pansy and Ginny jumped up, startled, eyes wide in horror and shock; Draco Malfoy strode into the room, now calmer than his initial reaction had been.
“Well, well, well, what have we here ladies?” he was smirking as the two women gathered up their clothes and hastily put them on.
“Shove off, Malfoy,” retorted Ginny, furious at being caught.
“Didn't know you had such poor taste, Pans.” Draco winked at his best friend and she just pulled a friendly face at him.
“Can you leave us alone please?” She gestured to the door, but Ginny stepped in before he could answer.
“No, it's fine, I'll go.” Ginny raced out the door, an angry and embarrassed look on her face.
“You minx.” Draco laughed. “I can't believe you had a Weasley!”
“Draco!” Pansy warned him. “You can't tell anyone about this.”
“I won't, I promise!” he was still smirking as he put his arm round Pansy. They left the classroom and he escorted her back to their dungeons.
*
“I love you,” Pansy whispered into Ginny's ear.
“I don't love you,” was Ginny's frosty reply. The two girls sat on a bench outside of Hogwarts, two days after Draco had caught them.
“Yes you do, don't deny it,” begged Pansy, blowing gently across Ginny's cheek.
“I don't. It's got to stop, us, we need to stop.”
“Why?” asked Pansy. “Is it because of Malfoy? Because he won't tell...”
“No. It's just, it's wrong,” Ginny whispered.
“You know it's not...” Pansy kissed Ginny's neck, but Ginny pushed her away. “Love me, Ginny,” begged Pansy.
“It's over,” Ginny said quietly, kissing Pansy on the forehead and walking back up to the castle.
*
Pansy sat still for a while, taking in Ginny's words. Tears were forming in her eyes, and she knew nobody must see the Slytherin Princess like this, so she tore off fast to her dorm. It was evening and everybody else was having dinner, but the thought of food made her feel sick, and she couldn't face seeing Ginny happy with her friends.
Before Pansy had gotten close to Ginny, and Ginny had let her in, Pansy had had nobody. Her parents were Death Eaters and were never around anyway; she was "raised" by the Parkinson nanny who despised her, for a reason Pansy had never worked out. On the rare occasions she did see them, they were cruel. Her mother was constantly calling her fat and ugly. She was often encouraging Pansy to have surgery on her face, and her father had nothing to say to her but cruel retorts about how Draco would never want to marry such a pathetic creature. Pansy almost wished she didn't have parents; she thought she'd be much happier then. They were the reason she spent most of her holidays at Hogwarts.
Pansy remembered the Christmas when her parents demanded her home; they had invited the Malfoy's and tried to set up a betrothal between Draco and Pansy, but the two housemates had both refused. They were like brother and sister, not lovers, and Pansy had known for years that she didn't fancy men.
Pansy revelled in spending time with her friends, but as the years went on, they all took up different activities and weren't around as much. Draco was busy with family stuff and Quidditch, and her gang of Slytherin girls didn't want to be around her anymore because of a nasty rumour Daphne started about Pansy sexually abusing her. Of course, it wasn't true, but Daphne wanted to be in control and she'd do anything to get it, including making everyone think Pansy was a sexual pervert.
Pansy had grown incredibly lonely and found it very difficult to cope, so she had found alternative methods, or as she called it, 'her way of coping'. Whenever she was stressed, anxious, upset or hurt, Pansy would self harm; she had a kit underneath her bed full of things she could use. Her favourite was the lighter and the cigarettes, she didn't smoke, no, she hated the thought, but she would light the cigarettes and burn herself, usually on her thighs, or where she didn't think people would find the marks.
There was a time that Pansy went too far; she was in the common room alone one lunchtime reading a letter her parents had sent her. They told her they didn't want her as a daughter anymore, that she wasn't worth their efforts and was just a nuisance. Pansy cried and cried and grabbed the closest sharp object she could find, a muggle knife from Goyle's muggle studies class. She slashed her wrists without thinking; she hated her life and wanted it to go away. As she did each slash, she cried out and the blood ran out of her veins. That was the day Draco discovered her secret; he came in, having forgotten his Quidditch things and found Pansy passed out from blood loss on the floor. She was surrounded in her own blood and Draco was shocked and upset - he took her straight to the hospital wing and didn't leave her side for the whole week she was in there.
When Pansy left the hospital wing she had promised Draco she wouldn't do it anymore, she had nearly died and Draco had told her he wouldn't know what he'd do without her. Her life improved after that incident; Draco started to spend more time with her and stuck up for her when Daphne was a bitch, and she bumped into Ginny a few times.
Of course, their relationship started with meaningless insults in the corridors, but there was raw tension between the two and soon enough they were meeting in private to spend time alone together. For several months, life was good, and Pansy forgot all of her other troubles; she had her best friend back, and a lover, even if she did have to hide her.
Once in her dorm, after hearing such cruel words from Ginny, Pansy got out her old self harming kit and scratched her arms all over with a pin, then went on to burn herself with a cigarette end. Her thighs got it the worst; they looked a terrible mess when she was finished.
That night was the first night she had cried herself to sleep in months and she found herself scratching at her wounds, just reopening them.
*
“What does she want?” Hermione asked Ginny, who shook her head in reply. They were walking back from class to their common room and saw Pansy standing outside, leaning against the portrait.
“Ginny, please, listen...” Pansy ran forward, thinking that if she could get Ginny to listen maybe things would be alright again.
“Come on.” Ginny took Hermione's arm and forced her through the portrait. “Fuck off, Parkinslut,” Ginny called behind her.
“What was that all about, Ginny?” asked Hermione, guiding her friend over to the empty sofa by the fire.
“God knows, she's a loon.” Ginny tried to shrug Hermione off the scent, but as usual, Hermione kept asking questions.
“It seemed like she wanted you to listen to her. Seriously, there must have been something that started this -” Hermione began to say.
“There isn't!” snapped Ginny, grabbing her books and running up to her dorm, slamming the door behind her.
Ginny did love Pansy, she really did, and it hurt her so much to call it off, but she felt she had to. If her parents or her brothers found out, they'd be furious - not only because Pansy was a woman, but because she was a Slytherin. She could just imagine how Ron would react; he had had enough trouble dealing when she was with Dean.
Ginny knew her family was full of love, and she knew perfectly well that Pansy came from a family of nothing but hate, but Ginny's family was only full of love for the things they believed were worthy of love. She knew very well she couldn't just bring Pansy home and introduce her to her parents as though there was absolutely nothing unusual about the situation.
Ginny had thought about this for a long time; the only solution was for both of them to move on, and the only way she could get Pansy to get over her was to be as cruel as possible. Then, Ginny thought, Pansy would have to get over her because she wouldn't love someone so cruel, right? She was torn up inside when she pictured Pansy's face over and over again; the Slytherin reduced to begging on Gryffindor territory in front of not only herself, but her friend too.
As Ginny got into bed that night, the only scene playing in her head was Pansy's broken expression. It took her forever to get to sleep.
Six Years Later
“THERE SHE IS!” Harry screamed, paralysing Pansy with his wand before she could run any further. Harry and Ron had captured Pansy Parkinson a few hours ago; she had been skulking around the outside of their camp, spying and looking for information for her side, the dark side. “Think you can escape, Parkinson?” Harry laughed and tied her hands viciously behind her back.
Pansy looked at Harry, really looked at him; there were scars all over his face, he was unkept and unshaven. The years of the war had really worn him out and he wasn't the do-gooder he had once been. He had stooped as low as to take hostages and torture them. Three had already been lost from Pansy's side - Daphne Greengrass had been tortured to death by Harry himself, Theodore Nott had been killed upon arrival and Vincent Crabbe had been forgotten about -- he had starved to death in one of the camp's tents.
Voldemort had soon recruited the Death Eaters' youngsters; they all took the mark upon leaving Hogwarts, and Pansy was only too happy to be among the new recruits. She was broken, crushed, a shell inside herself, and she wanted to die for this cause. Not because she believed in it, but because it was the only way out that she could see.
Harry dragged Pansy across the ground to the tent she had originally been in, and this time he made sure she was tied up properly, but Pansy wasn't paying attention.
She only knew Harry was tying her to a chair. She was taking in her surroundings - Ron, Hermione and Sirius were in the corner watching, they all looked so different from how she had seen them at Hogwarts. Ron was pale and thinner, Hermione's hair had darkened and Sirius looked old and tired.
“Anything to say?” Harry lifted the paralysis spell and slapped Pansy around the face, hard, when she ignored him.
“No, no, I haven't anything to say.”
“What were you doing here?” demanded Harry, but she still wouldn't answer. Pansy looked Harry up and down now and saw a ring on his left hand, fourth finger in. He was married.
“When did you have time to marry, Potter?” Pansy was gaining fight.
“Aha. That's what you want. Yes, I did marry Ginny - she told me all about the sordid affair between you.” Harry was smirking now.
Her retort came quick. “What's it like to know you can't please your wife as well as I could?”
“What's it like to know the woman you still love, after all these years, hates your guts?” Pansy looked away at Harry's harsh words, and he saw her eyes glisten with tears.
“Come on.” he motioned to his friends to leave the room.
“Leaving so soon, Potter?” mocked Pansy, but all she got in reply was a nasty smirk and a wink.
Then she walked in. The love of Pansy's life. She looked as beautiful as ever. Ginny was wearing a black robe and her hair was a muck darker ginger than it used to be. She strode slowly into the room, looking Pansy up and down. Then her pursed lips formed a smile, and Ginny folded her arms. “Never thought I'd see you again.”
“And why's that?” Pansy whispered, losing her fight already.
“I was told I'd broken you,” Ginny laughed. Pansy didn't respond. “Do you like it?” Ginny held up her wedding ring, flashing it in front of Pansy's face. She smiled at her former lover.
“It's beautiful," Pansy finally managed to say.
“I know. Harry spent so much on it.”
“I still love you,” Pansy blurted out.
“And I'm going to say the same thing to you I did that day. I don't love you.” Silence filled the room and Pansy stared at the ground. “Now tell me, where is your camp?”
“That's none of your business.”
Ginny slapped Pansy across the face. “I think you'll find it is my business. If you want to live, that is.”
“What makes you think I care about living?”
Ginny smirked. “Me.”
Something in Pansy stirred at that. Was there hope of ever gaining Ginny back? But reality soon came crashing down on Pansy as she received a swift kick to her stomach. It was too late, too far gone. There was no way of getting Ginny back now if she couldn't even manage it straight after the breakup.
“Oi, I'm talking to you,” Ginny snapped. “Tell me where your camp is.”
“Not unless you grant me what I want.”
“You are in no position to make deals, Parkinson.”
“Guess you'll never know then.”
“Well, after we kill you we'll just torture another poor sod. You youngsters just can't stop coming to spy on us. Didn't your elders teach you anything? Or do they just not want you around?”
“I know Draco wants me around.”
Ginny's high pitched laugh echoed around the tent. “One person. Aren't you loved?”
“I'll tell you if you fuck me. One last time.” The desperation in Pansy's voice was obvious, and Ginny took in what Pansy had said. It looked as though she was considering it for a moment, but Ginny's answer wasn't kind.
“I wouldn't fuck you again if you paid me.” Ginny spat on Pansy's face and preceded to wipe the spit all over, tracing her features and the curve of her mouth.
“I can pay you.”
“Didn't you hear me?” Despite this, Ginny took a layer of clothing off; she was now wearing only a matching lilac lingerie set that Harry had bought her for Christmas a few years ago. “Like it?”
“If you don't want to fuck me then what the hell are you doing?” Pansy was angry now. She didn't like being teased. Her heart was still broken and her insides raw from the experience with Ginny years ago; she'd never gotten over it and had never been able to love anyone else. Her relationships with her friends suffered even more. She and Draco hardly ever spoke. But she told herself he cared. That he wanted her around. But did he? He spent so much time with a woman called Astoria now. Pansy wasn't jealous, but she wasn't happy for him either. She found it nearly impossible to be happy these days.
“Teasing you. That's part of the fun of having a hostage.”
“Really? I thought the point was to torture them until they gave up information. Don't you know how this works? Or have they never trusted you with the reins before? It's nice to know I'm special enough to be the Weaselette's first training case.”
Ginny was fuming; her eyes opened wide and she screamed, “CRUCIO!” Pansy yelled in pain and struggled in her bonds.
“You think I don't know how to curse, Parkinson? Think I don't know how to play in a war?”
Pansy looked directly into Ginny's eyes, looking for any sign of love, compassion, or feeling at all. She could spot nothing but hate and rage and anger.
“What did Potter do to you, to make you so twisted and so full of hatred inside, Ginny? Doesn't he love you like you wish he did, like I used to?”
“Used to? You're pathetic enough to still do.”
“So it's pathetic to love you now, is it?” In trying to insult her, Ginny had accidentally insulted herself, and Pansy couldn't help but smirk. Ginny was always doing things like that when they were younger.
“What about Draco? Where is he?” demanded Ginny, her arm held out with her wand ready to strike. “Tell me!”
“He's busy.”
“Doing what? Who are you planning to kill next?”
“He's with his new girlfriend.”
“Jealous?”
“No. You know you were, and are, my one true love.”
Ginny ignored that and went on, “What's his agenda? What does Voldemort have him do?” Ginny paced across the room in front of Pansy. Maybe she could get something out of her after all, she mused, though she thought she knew her well enough to know she wouldn't give her friends up. Pansy's next words proved her right.
“Like I'd tell you, after all you've done to me.”
“CRUCIO!” Ginny performed the spell again, sending sears of pain through Pansy's veins, but Pansy was determined not to give up any information, at least, not without a deal. She owed her side that much before she died, because that's what she had come here to do, or at least, that's what she told herself. Part of her thought that she'd just got herself captured to see Ginny one last time, because living without her wasn't worth the pain and suffering.
“You must know more spells than that,” mocked Pansy, a little smile in her lips. She always loved teasing Ginny.
“Oh, I do. But I wouldn't waste the genius of them on you.” Ginny circled Pansy, thinking about the best way to get the information from her. Maybe conning her would work.
“One kiss then, if you won't fuck me. Just one passionate kiss and I'll tell you all you need to know.”
“I'll fuck you,” proposed Ginny, “if you give me the information first. Then you can go back to your friends, to be found again. I should at least give you a head start.” She smirked at Pansy.
Pansy was surprised; she hadn't expected that. But maybe that hate and anger inside Ginny was because she still loved her. Maybe. “How do I know you'll keep your end of the deal?”
Ginny paused a moment before she replied, during which she walked towards Pansy and stroked her cheek, looking lovingly into her eyes. “Because I still love you.”
A smile escaped from Pansy's lips, and in turn Ginny smiled too. For that one moment, they reconnected, as though all the hurt, pain and suffering of the last few years had never happened, and they were still in love, back at Hogwarts. Then Ginny turned away, back to business.
“So. What do you have to tell me? Where's your camp? What's your plan?”
“They don't tell me everything, you know. But our camp is up in Scotland.” Pansy took a moment to describe to Ginny exactly where it was and how to get there.
Then she added, “And Draco's currently enlisting a team of Death Eaters to go after Madam Rosmerta.”
“Why? What do they want with her?”Ginny asked, curious at the Death Eaters' choice of hostage, and the death they planned for her.
“Information of course. She's the local barmaid, she hears and sees things a lot of others wouldn't,” explained Pansy.
“And the overall plan?”
“To kill you lot.”
“Anything else?” Ginny was pacing up and down the length of the cell again; she was anxious. She knew Harry would be pleased with her, but he would also be angry at the deal she made, regardless of whether or not she planned to go through with it. He wasn't the noble man he used to be.
“Only one other thing I can think of - they're scheduling a raid tonight, somewhere in Diagon Alley, but I only overheard that so I didn't get any of the details.”
“Ginny?” Harry stepped into the tent, his hands in his pockets, casually observing the scene. He had had some worries that his wife would revert back to her old ways, her first love, but it didn't look like that now. Ginny had told Harry she might spend some time teasing Pansy.
Ginny turned to Harry and spoke coldly. “The little bitch has spoken. I have everything we need to know.”
“That's settled then. Put her in the cell.”
“WHAT?” exclaimed Pansy. “You said...we...we had a deal!”
“You really think I would've kept a deal with a Death Eater?” Ginny laughed at her. She untied Pansy from the chair but kept the Slytherin's arms behind her back, and very well tied.
“Never thought she'd fall for that one,” remarked Harry, impressed by the way Ginny had handled the whole situation.
“Come on, Parkinson.” Ginny kept a hold of Pansy and walked towards Harry; he touched his wife's arm.
“Here,” Harry got out a blindfold and started to put it on Pansy. She struggled, but Ginny kicked her in the shins to warn her.
*
It was several hours before Pansy awoke, and when she did she found herself in a dark, dank cell. The blindfold Potter had put on her earlier was gone. There were bars on the window and the walls were rotten and moldy, the smell was foul. Opposite her cell was a stone wall - not much of a view. She thought she'd go insane if they left her here for too long.
When she tried to get up, Pansy found her legs had shackles on them, connected with a large chain, and they were bolted solidly to the floor. No chance of an easy escape.
“She's awake, boys.” That was the voice of Harry himself, and she could see Ron, Fred and George behind him. Harry was opening her cell and they were eagerly awaiting to be let in. “They wanted to see you, you know, to say hello.”
Whatever they wanted, Pansy knew it wasn't to say a friendly hello, their faces were full of anger and hate, as though years of bottled up feelings were waiting to be taken out on her.
The boys rushed into the room and released her from her shackles, but she didn't have much time to feel relieved.
“LEVICORPUS,” screamed Ron, and Pansy found herself flung in the air.
“You evil, little cow,” Fred said through gritted teeth.
“What? What have I ever done to you?” Pansy said desperately. She hated heights.
“What you did to Ginny!” Ron let Pansy fall to the ground. Her face was scratched in the fall, and the cuts started to bleed.
“ADFLICTATIO!” George yelled. The spell inflicted great amounts of pain on Pansy's body. She began shaking and writhing.
Pointing his wand at her arm, Ron cast another spell. “OSSIS EFFERGO.” This caused Pansy's arm to break, and she screamed at the pain, clutching it with her other arm.
Fred was aiming for her legs this time.
“No, please, not again,” Pansy begged, “I didn't hurt your sister. She loved me, she still does!”
“Nobody could ever love a cold-hearted bitch like you, Parkinson,” muttered Ron, his wand pointing at Pansy's heart.
Pansy looked around; all three Weasley boys were staring at her, faces alight with anger and rage. They were devoted to getting revenge. Harry, however, was coolly watching from the sidelines; he was sitting on the floor, legs spread out and his arms leaning on top of them lazily. He didn't care whether Pansy got hurt. She was just another casualty to him.
Aiming at her legs, Fred yelled his next painful spell. “LACERO!” Slashes and cuts appeared on Pansy's legs and thighs, as though someone had slashed her with a knife.
With nearly no voice left, Pansy found it very hard to scream, but the pain was too intense and she couldn't keep it in.
“What's all this noise, what's going on here?” Ginny ran into the cell, shocked at the scene before her.
“It's time for you to pay, Parkinson,” Ron said through gritted teeth, as he continued to break the rest of the bones in Pansy's body. She was in sheer agony.
“NO!” Ginny screamed, running towards Pansy. Harry stood up sharply and stopped her, pulling her away. “Ron, NO!” she screamed, using all her strength to try and get past Harry before it was too late. The sounds of Pansy's screams were filling the room and Ginny was devastated. She drew her wand and finally hexed Harry out of the way.
“AVADA KEDAVRA!” George performed the killing curse just as Ginny knelt down next to Pansy. Ginny took Pansy's head in her arms and bent down. In Pansy's last moments, she got what she had wanted for all those years: Ginny kissed her, passionately, romantically.
“I love you, Pansy,” Ginny whispered, staring into her eyes. Pansy smiled weakly just before the curse took her away. Ginny screamed in pain and cradled the now dead Pansy in her arms. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?” she turned to face her brothers, still holding Pansy, rocking her body slowly.
“We did it for you...” Ron was suddenly ashamed of their behaviour; they had honestly thought Ginny had been abused by Pansy.
“But I loved her! I always have done!” Ginny was sobbing and shaking, her heart truly broken. “I loved her...” she whispered, cradling and rocking Pansy back and forth. “I loved her.”
The problem with war is that it always turns the nicest people into cold hearted, vicious souls.