Twenty Spirals Downward; Gift for teganscrush!
Recipient: teganscrush
Title: Twenty Spirals Downward
Author: gala_apples
Beta: susan5124
Pairing(s): Louis/Teddy
Rating: R
Warning(s): psychological disorders, brief mention of drug use, sad ending
Word Count: 2,579
Summary: Louis loves him, but love can't conquer all, and certainly not the filthiness in the world.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction set in the Harry Potter universe - all recognizable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Author's Notes: I'm so glad I saved this to google_documents before my old computer exploded. I really like the style of it, I hope you like it too.
Twenty Spirals Downward
1) Louis is three the first time Bear yells at him. Mum always yells at him; she doesn't like the way he tries to help. He thinks she should know what's dirty, and he tries to warn her but she never listens. He warns her and he warns Bear, who doesn't want to be set down on dirty places. He's used to her yelling, but it's the first time Bear yells at him for 'being ridiculous'. It takes Louis years to realise it was a spell perpetrated by both his parents, both hopeful that Bear could relate a message he wouldn't listen to from them.
2) At seven, Louis starts what he doesn't realise will be a lifelong vendetta against Fred. At the time it seems like a perfectly logical thing to do. Though Dad looks at him like he's mental, and he talks about taking things way too far, to Louis it seems like Fred's action had an equal reaction. His cousin touched his toy and contaminated it, and now he can't play with the Multiplying Snake anymore. So he stretches Fred's broom over the open gate of the fence and swings Albus' practice bludger bat - between all his cousins, they make up a complete Quidditch team with people to spare - as hard as he can. It takes a bunch of swings, but eventually it's broken down the middle, and Fred doesn't have his favourite toy either.
3) Louis doesn't trust any of his family. His older brother is his exact opposite, the sort of boy that could live in an outdoor fort for the entire summer, peeing in the bushes and eating apples from their fruit trees. Louis is grateful for both Hogwarts and their age difference; he's had two years of only suffering the teasing of his enemy during Christmas hols and the summer. Dominique practically drips with germs, though he knows by now to try to explain that only gets blank stares at best. At worst, someone with a cruel personality like Dom will use it against him. Victoire is kinder, though she laughs when she rifles through the bread bag to get the best middle pieces and Louis can't eat any of it because he doesn't know which slices she's touched. Mum and Dad both think he's barmy, though it bothers Mum more. Dad gets to leave Shell Cottage to work while Mum has to put up with his behaviour at all hours. The best solution is to stay away from all of them as much as is feasible.
4) Dominique is the cause of his first piece of accidental magic. One morning Dominique coughs at the table over breakfast and catches Louis' shudder of revulsion. He apologises, which puts Louis' guard up as Dominique has the manners of an ox. Judging by the sniffling it's obvious his brother has a cold and he wants nothing more than to make a hasty retreat, but Dad's got a thing about family eating together. When the phlegm covered handkerchief is waved in his face, it's a surprise, though the shock quickly turns to rage and horror. The surge of emotion pulls a trigger in Louis' mind, and the handkerchief bursts into flame. Mum is shouting about safety, Vicky and Dad are stunned and Dominique is going to beat him up later. Louis feels oddly numb, and entirely satisfied.
5) Delacour family tradition is to make a big deal of the first spell learned on the student's own merit, rather than the swish-and-flick Wingardium Leviosa everyone must know. In an era of relaxed laws about underage magic, it's nearly expected a child goes to Hogwarts knowing a few of their own spells, even more so when the child has a bunch of siblings. After all, the laws were tough when his father was a child, but he still cast an Ennervate after a particularly rough night of babysitting found Uncle Percy in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Victoire's was Aguamenti, Dominique's was Lumos. Nobody is surprised his is Scourgify.
6) Putting on the Sorting Hat is a nightmare. Louis can only imagine how many centuries of sweaty foreheads and greasy hair have touched the brim and that's not even considering the possible diseases and spells that a person might have been cursed with; dandruff, Muggle and magical lice. He barely even notices when the hat places him in Gryffindor, telling him to stay strong. It doesn't matter what house he's in, just that he doesn't have to wear the disgusting object any longer.
7) Louis doesn't check his marks on the essays he gets back. It's impossible to know what teachers may have touched while marking his assignments, if they've touched their eyes or blown their nose. Not knowing his status in a course until the end of the year is far better than being contaminated. It's a habit that would drive Aunt Hermione insane, if he ever told her. He won't, of course. Any time any of the family tell Aunt Hermione or Uncle Harry a story about his habits, they start diagnosing him. Muggles have titles for everything, and Louis doesn't like being labelled. Being called crazy by Victoire when she thinks he can't hear is bad enough, having a specific brand of crazy might land him in a Muggle hospital. He's heard they have entire hospitals like the Janus Thickey ward where Gilderoy Lockhart is still locked up. The thought of being away from society is appealing at times, but what if the people in the hospital were even filthier than most people? He'd be locked in, and screwed.
8) Frankly, he doesn't like to touch anything other people have touched. This isn't as much of a problem in Transfigurations or Charms, but Potions is difficult. He sits at the front of the room so he can be the first to collect his ingredients, practically back in his seat before the other students have stood up. Herbology will be the death of him; he can't wait until fifth year so he can drop it. He's spent hours in the showers after class, trying to scrub the dirt off. Sometimes his robes are so bad he throws them out rather than risk recontamination. He can't do it often, though, Mum and Dad will only buy him six sets each term.
9) At thirteen, sex is the first thing he has trouble classifying. His mind has never had trouble before, and it's a source of constant turmoil. Things are either contaminated and dirty, or they aren't; a high percentage the former. That's how Louis' life works; everything is about avoiding anything contaminated as best as he can. On one hand sex is disgusting; somebody's fluids on his genitals, essentially there's no difference between mucus membranes. Not to mention there's an entire host of sexually transmitted diseases. On the other hand, when he's wanking, if he pictures somebody else's hand touching him, his orgasm comes far quicker.
10) He decides not to have sex, just in case. It's better to be safe than sorry. Not just for the risk involved, but for his own pride. With the gossip mongers of Hogwarts, if he freaks out during sex and has to stop, everybody will find out. He knows people think he's strange, and for the most part he's convinced himself not to take the opinions of the contaminated too seriously, but that would be too much.
11) He's fourteen when Dominique gets hurt in a Quidditch accident. On one level, being in a hospital freaks him out. He has a creeping on the back of his neck like the medi-witches are staring at him when he uses his sleeve to open doors and when he refuses to sit for an hour long visit. On another, it's the first place not his bedroom at Shell Cottage in which he feels comfortable. It's a hospital, it has to be clean. And one day, he happens to be present when the medi-witch uses what turns out to be a common spell for immobilized or unconscious patients. After further inquiry, it turns out while Muggles have something called a catheter, they have a spell that sucks the waste products out of a person's body. No longer will he have to perform half a dozen Scourgifys on a toilet seat before it feels safe to sit down. Louis is so relieved he wants to hug her. Almost.
12) Two years after his initial decision, Louis changes his mind. Contamination is now a price he's willing to pay to have his cock sucked. As long as he can shower afterwards, why not accept Teddy's offer of an introduction into the adult world? And it's even better than he'd ever fantasised. Teddy hums as he's sucking, the minutest of vibrations making Louis' entire body shake. Afterwards he almost doesn't care that he's got saliva drying on his cock. Sex with another person is that good.
13) Over the course of the next year Louis continues to see Teddy on Hogsmeade weekends. They make no promises to each other beyond the next meeting. Louis is fairly sure Teddy has other partners, which should eat at the part of his mind that screams filthy at everything. It doesn't though. Come is somehow immune from the paranoia that surrounds him. Louis too attempts to get other partners, but it's harder going. He could probably talk his way into the pants of half a dozen blokes, but they want to have a groping and making out session or two before getting to the fucking. Really, it's snogging that's the worst. He can't stand the idea of somebody's spit mixing with his. It's one of the more unsanitary things he can think of.
14) When he's sixteen, a new concern appears. He's about to pile some mashed potatoes on his plate when his roommate Kevin stops him, explaining that Lucy convinced the house elves to slip some weed along with the garlic and pepper. He's not surprised when he thinks about it. Lucy's the best at peer pressure, and odd enough that she'd consider getting all the Gryffindors high a good thing. He puts his spoon down, and though he cuts up his pork chop he can't force himself to bite a chunk. If the elves can't be trusted to make food to recipe, how can he trust that they're practicing good hygiene? He eats every meal from their hands; he could have been contaminated a hundred times by now. The only way to be sure is to watch. He stops eating during meals at the proper times, instead sneaking into the kitchen once or twice a day to watch closely as they make something from scratch upon request.
15) The offer from Teddy to move in with him after graduation shocks all the wrong people. It shocks the hell out of Louis, who never thought their relationship was like that. It shocks Kevin who, when he gains his brain back, immediately starts listing the reasons it's a bad idea to move in with a boyfriend. It doesn't seem to shock his Mum or Dad, who he hasn't even come out to yet. Finding out Teddy went behind his back to ask if they were okay with the age disparity ruffles his feathers a bit. After all, his life doesn't need to be justified by his parents. But he says yes anyway, pride should never get in the way of having 24/7 access to sex with a bloke who'll do anything.
16) Living together makes them a real couple. Louis gets to see Teddy's habits; how he drums his fingers on his scalp instead of scratching, how he flops onto the couch after work like his bones have melted. They eat meals together, breakfast always and dinner when possible. Teddy makes the best sauces and it hardly matters what the food underneath is. Best of all, Teddy has started saying I love you at the most random times, while brushing his teeth or just before the Chaser scores. It sends a bolt of pleasure through Louis every time he hears it, and he hopes his reply does the same for Teddy.
17) The sex is amazing. There's something about not feeling rushed, a peace that comes from being able to have sex before work, or after work, or in the middle of the night, not just for a few scant hours once every few months. Aside from that, Teddy's a kinky bastard. He'd rather rim than suck cock, and orgasm denial seem to be his two favourite words. Louis can count on his fingers the times they've had sex in the bed rather than against the wall or outside in the garden, or essentially any place except between the sheets. Teddy's phrasing was something like beds are for old people and Louis knows better than to snark that Teddy is old.
18) Louis can pinpoint the exact moment he realises Teddy's dirty. It's after a particularly vicious round of sex, made all the more boisterous by the amount of alcohol consumed. If, when he woke up, he couldn't remember the action, he'd still have the proof of it; all the kitchen clutter usually on the table scattered over the left side of the floor, the vase with half-dead flowers shattered. But he can remember it, the snarky comment that made Teddy shove him, the indignant shove back that made Teddy pin him down. It doesn't surprise him that he has bruises on his stomach, or that he's sore. What terrifies him are the scratches along his back, that when Teddy stretches and pulls himself off the floor where they both fell asleep, he doesn't wash his hands before starting breakfast. Teddy's got dead, rotting skin underneath his fingernails, and he's not washing his hands.
19) After that, it's easier to have sex in the shower. He does his best to avoid letting Teddy touch him, unless he knows Teddy's recently washed. He starts to accompany his boyfriend into the shower each morning, as observation is the most important step in safety. Rubbing the soap in spirals against Teddy's stomach is the only relief Louis gets, as they only have so much time before work and cleanliness is more important than getting off. At first, Teddy likes it, but one morning his hair turns brown as he snaps I can do it myself, damn it, I'm not three, and still Louis can't stop. If he doesn't control the situation he can see the sweeping lines of germs Teddy missed, the disease nearly dripping off his contaminated skin.
20) It ends as bluntly as it started, only in reverse. Instead of Teddy telling him he'd be willing to have sex with him and show him a new world, Teddy tells him he can't do this, have sex with him anymore. He says he's gotten creepy, that I knew you had a thing about being clean, but it's getting ridiculous, honestly, Lou. He watches as Teddy packs up his stuff, knowing that as soon as he leaves, he'll have to throw it out because who knows where Teddy's hands have been, even if it's stuff he's had since childhood. Louis walks away without even a goodbye kiss, because the mouth is the dirtiest place on the human body.
Title: Twenty Spirals Downward
Author: gala_apples
Beta: susan5124
Pairing(s): Louis/Teddy
Rating: R
Warning(s): psychological disorders, brief mention of drug use, sad ending
Word Count: 2,579
Summary: Louis loves him, but love can't conquer all, and certainly not the filthiness in the world.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction set in the Harry Potter universe - all recognizable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Author's Notes: I'm so glad I saved this to google_documents before my old computer exploded. I really like the style of it, I hope you like it too.
Twenty Spirals Downward
1) Louis is three the first time Bear yells at him. Mum always yells at him; she doesn't like the way he tries to help. He thinks she should know what's dirty, and he tries to warn her but she never listens. He warns her and he warns Bear, who doesn't want to be set down on dirty places. He's used to her yelling, but it's the first time Bear yells at him for 'being ridiculous'. It takes Louis years to realise it was a spell perpetrated by both his parents, both hopeful that Bear could relate a message he wouldn't listen to from them.
2) At seven, Louis starts what he doesn't realise will be a lifelong vendetta against Fred. At the time it seems like a perfectly logical thing to do. Though Dad looks at him like he's mental, and he talks about taking things way too far, to Louis it seems like Fred's action had an equal reaction. His cousin touched his toy and contaminated it, and now he can't play with the Multiplying Snake anymore. So he stretches Fred's broom over the open gate of the fence and swings Albus' practice bludger bat - between all his cousins, they make up a complete Quidditch team with people to spare - as hard as he can. It takes a bunch of swings, but eventually it's broken down the middle, and Fred doesn't have his favourite toy either.
3) Louis doesn't trust any of his family. His older brother is his exact opposite, the sort of boy that could live in an outdoor fort for the entire summer, peeing in the bushes and eating apples from their fruit trees. Louis is grateful for both Hogwarts and their age difference; he's had two years of only suffering the teasing of his enemy during Christmas hols and the summer. Dominique practically drips with germs, though he knows by now to try to explain that only gets blank stares at best. At worst, someone with a cruel personality like Dom will use it against him. Victoire is kinder, though she laughs when she rifles through the bread bag to get the best middle pieces and Louis can't eat any of it because he doesn't know which slices she's touched. Mum and Dad both think he's barmy, though it bothers Mum more. Dad gets to leave Shell Cottage to work while Mum has to put up with his behaviour at all hours. The best solution is to stay away from all of them as much as is feasible.
4) Dominique is the cause of his first piece of accidental magic. One morning Dominique coughs at the table over breakfast and catches Louis' shudder of revulsion. He apologises, which puts Louis' guard up as Dominique has the manners of an ox. Judging by the sniffling it's obvious his brother has a cold and he wants nothing more than to make a hasty retreat, but Dad's got a thing about family eating together. When the phlegm covered handkerchief is waved in his face, it's a surprise, though the shock quickly turns to rage and horror. The surge of emotion pulls a trigger in Louis' mind, and the handkerchief bursts into flame. Mum is shouting about safety, Vicky and Dad are stunned and Dominique is going to beat him up later. Louis feels oddly numb, and entirely satisfied.
5) Delacour family tradition is to make a big deal of the first spell learned on the student's own merit, rather than the swish-and-flick Wingardium Leviosa everyone must know. In an era of relaxed laws about underage magic, it's nearly expected a child goes to Hogwarts knowing a few of their own spells, even more so when the child has a bunch of siblings. After all, the laws were tough when his father was a child, but he still cast an Ennervate after a particularly rough night of babysitting found Uncle Percy in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Victoire's was Aguamenti, Dominique's was Lumos. Nobody is surprised his is Scourgify.
6) Putting on the Sorting Hat is a nightmare. Louis can only imagine how many centuries of sweaty foreheads and greasy hair have touched the brim and that's not even considering the possible diseases and spells that a person might have been cursed with; dandruff, Muggle and magical lice. He barely even notices when the hat places him in Gryffindor, telling him to stay strong. It doesn't matter what house he's in, just that he doesn't have to wear the disgusting object any longer.
7) Louis doesn't check his marks on the essays he gets back. It's impossible to know what teachers may have touched while marking his assignments, if they've touched their eyes or blown their nose. Not knowing his status in a course until the end of the year is far better than being contaminated. It's a habit that would drive Aunt Hermione insane, if he ever told her. He won't, of course. Any time any of the family tell Aunt Hermione or Uncle Harry a story about his habits, they start diagnosing him. Muggles have titles for everything, and Louis doesn't like being labelled. Being called crazy by Victoire when she thinks he can't hear is bad enough, having a specific brand of crazy might land him in a Muggle hospital. He's heard they have entire hospitals like the Janus Thickey ward where Gilderoy Lockhart is still locked up. The thought of being away from society is appealing at times, but what if the people in the hospital were even filthier than most people? He'd be locked in, and screwed.
8) Frankly, he doesn't like to touch anything other people have touched. This isn't as much of a problem in Transfigurations or Charms, but Potions is difficult. He sits at the front of the room so he can be the first to collect his ingredients, practically back in his seat before the other students have stood up. Herbology will be the death of him; he can't wait until fifth year so he can drop it. He's spent hours in the showers after class, trying to scrub the dirt off. Sometimes his robes are so bad he throws them out rather than risk recontamination. He can't do it often, though, Mum and Dad will only buy him six sets each term.
9) At thirteen, sex is the first thing he has trouble classifying. His mind has never had trouble before, and it's a source of constant turmoil. Things are either contaminated and dirty, or they aren't; a high percentage the former. That's how Louis' life works; everything is about avoiding anything contaminated as best as he can. On one hand sex is disgusting; somebody's fluids on his genitals, essentially there's no difference between mucus membranes. Not to mention there's an entire host of sexually transmitted diseases. On the other hand, when he's wanking, if he pictures somebody else's hand touching him, his orgasm comes far quicker.
10) He decides not to have sex, just in case. It's better to be safe than sorry. Not just for the risk involved, but for his own pride. With the gossip mongers of Hogwarts, if he freaks out during sex and has to stop, everybody will find out. He knows people think he's strange, and for the most part he's convinced himself not to take the opinions of the contaminated too seriously, but that would be too much.
11) He's fourteen when Dominique gets hurt in a Quidditch accident. On one level, being in a hospital freaks him out. He has a creeping on the back of his neck like the medi-witches are staring at him when he uses his sleeve to open doors and when he refuses to sit for an hour long visit. On another, it's the first place not his bedroom at Shell Cottage in which he feels comfortable. It's a hospital, it has to be clean. And one day, he happens to be present when the medi-witch uses what turns out to be a common spell for immobilized or unconscious patients. After further inquiry, it turns out while Muggles have something called a catheter, they have a spell that sucks the waste products out of a person's body. No longer will he have to perform half a dozen Scourgifys on a toilet seat before it feels safe to sit down. Louis is so relieved he wants to hug her. Almost.
12) Two years after his initial decision, Louis changes his mind. Contamination is now a price he's willing to pay to have his cock sucked. As long as he can shower afterwards, why not accept Teddy's offer of an introduction into the adult world? And it's even better than he'd ever fantasised. Teddy hums as he's sucking, the minutest of vibrations making Louis' entire body shake. Afterwards he almost doesn't care that he's got saliva drying on his cock. Sex with another person is that good.
13) Over the course of the next year Louis continues to see Teddy on Hogsmeade weekends. They make no promises to each other beyond the next meeting. Louis is fairly sure Teddy has other partners, which should eat at the part of his mind that screams filthy at everything. It doesn't though. Come is somehow immune from the paranoia that surrounds him. Louis too attempts to get other partners, but it's harder going. He could probably talk his way into the pants of half a dozen blokes, but they want to have a groping and making out session or two before getting to the fucking. Really, it's snogging that's the worst. He can't stand the idea of somebody's spit mixing with his. It's one of the more unsanitary things he can think of.
14) When he's sixteen, a new concern appears. He's about to pile some mashed potatoes on his plate when his roommate Kevin stops him, explaining that Lucy convinced the house elves to slip some weed along with the garlic and pepper. He's not surprised when he thinks about it. Lucy's the best at peer pressure, and odd enough that she'd consider getting all the Gryffindors high a good thing. He puts his spoon down, and though he cuts up his pork chop he can't force himself to bite a chunk. If the elves can't be trusted to make food to recipe, how can he trust that they're practicing good hygiene? He eats every meal from their hands; he could have been contaminated a hundred times by now. The only way to be sure is to watch. He stops eating during meals at the proper times, instead sneaking into the kitchen once or twice a day to watch closely as they make something from scratch upon request.
15) The offer from Teddy to move in with him after graduation shocks all the wrong people. It shocks the hell out of Louis, who never thought their relationship was like that. It shocks Kevin who, when he gains his brain back, immediately starts listing the reasons it's a bad idea to move in with a boyfriend. It doesn't seem to shock his Mum or Dad, who he hasn't even come out to yet. Finding out Teddy went behind his back to ask if they were okay with the age disparity ruffles his feathers a bit. After all, his life doesn't need to be justified by his parents. But he says yes anyway, pride should never get in the way of having 24/7 access to sex with a bloke who'll do anything.
16) Living together makes them a real couple. Louis gets to see Teddy's habits; how he drums his fingers on his scalp instead of scratching, how he flops onto the couch after work like his bones have melted. They eat meals together, breakfast always and dinner when possible. Teddy makes the best sauces and it hardly matters what the food underneath is. Best of all, Teddy has started saying I love you at the most random times, while brushing his teeth or just before the Chaser scores. It sends a bolt of pleasure through Louis every time he hears it, and he hopes his reply does the same for Teddy.
17) The sex is amazing. There's something about not feeling rushed, a peace that comes from being able to have sex before work, or after work, or in the middle of the night, not just for a few scant hours once every few months. Aside from that, Teddy's a kinky bastard. He'd rather rim than suck cock, and orgasm denial seem to be his two favourite words. Louis can count on his fingers the times they've had sex in the bed rather than against the wall or outside in the garden, or essentially any place except between the sheets. Teddy's phrasing was something like beds are for old people and Louis knows better than to snark that Teddy is old.
18) Louis can pinpoint the exact moment he realises Teddy's dirty. It's after a particularly vicious round of sex, made all the more boisterous by the amount of alcohol consumed. If, when he woke up, he couldn't remember the action, he'd still have the proof of it; all the kitchen clutter usually on the table scattered over the left side of the floor, the vase with half-dead flowers shattered. But he can remember it, the snarky comment that made Teddy shove him, the indignant shove back that made Teddy pin him down. It doesn't surprise him that he has bruises on his stomach, or that he's sore. What terrifies him are the scratches along his back, that when Teddy stretches and pulls himself off the floor where they both fell asleep, he doesn't wash his hands before starting breakfast. Teddy's got dead, rotting skin underneath his fingernails, and he's not washing his hands.
19) After that, it's easier to have sex in the shower. He does his best to avoid letting Teddy touch him, unless he knows Teddy's recently washed. He starts to accompany his boyfriend into the shower each morning, as observation is the most important step in safety. Rubbing the soap in spirals against Teddy's stomach is the only relief Louis gets, as they only have so much time before work and cleanliness is more important than getting off. At first, Teddy likes it, but one morning his hair turns brown as he snaps I can do it myself, damn it, I'm not three, and still Louis can't stop. If he doesn't control the situation he can see the sweeping lines of germs Teddy missed, the disease nearly dripping off his contaminated skin.
20) It ends as bluntly as it started, only in reverse. Instead of Teddy telling him he'd be willing to have sex with him and show him a new world, Teddy tells him he can't do this, have sex with him anymore. He says he's gotten creepy, that I knew you had a thing about being clean, but it's getting ridiculous, honestly, Lou. He watches as Teddy packs up his stuff, knowing that as soon as he leaves, he'll have to throw it out because who knows where Teddy's hands have been, even if it's stuff he's had since childhood. Louis walks away without even a goodbye kiss, because the mouth is the dirtiest place on the human body.