FIC for: fell_beast2
Title: A Little Learning
Recipient: fell_beast2
Fic or Art: fic
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Luna Lovegood, cameo appearances by others.
Summary: Harry isn't the only one to serve detention with Umbridge. Set during OotP. 1500 words.
Notes: For fell_beast2. I hope you enjoy this!
'Come in dear.'
It was the first time Luna had been in the new Headmistress's office. Painted plates decorated with portraits of beribboned, gambolling kittens adorned a plate rail that she could not remember having been there during Dumbledore's occupancy. As she walked across the turquoise carpet to the Headmistress's desk, Luna glanced automatically to the corner where Fawkes' perch stood. It was gone.
'Sit down.'
Luna sat bolt upright in the armchair and gazed at the Headmistress.
'Now then, Miss Lovegood - Luna. Your Head of House has some excellent things to say about you.' Umbridge scanned a parchment, wrinkling her nose. 'Excellent things, dear.' She turned the parchment face down upon the desk.
Luna waited.
'I've asked you to come and see me today because I just have the teeniest concern, hem, hem!' A pudgy hand pulled something out of a drawer and laid it on the desktop. 'What's this?'
'A book?' Luna said helpfully.
'Not just a book, dear.' Umbridge flipped the book over. Gold letters marched across the scarlet binding. 'What does the title say?' She placed an index finger under the first word and moved it along, as if encouraging a reluctant five-year old.
'Practical Magic,' Luna read, leaning forward. 'A Guide To Defending Yourself Against The Dark Arts.'
'Exactly, dear. You can see my point.'
'No.'
Umbridge gave a tight smile. 'A practical guide, Miss Love - Luna. Practical. You're a very bright girl, dear, but even the most intelligent of children can stray down the wrong path. Unless guided, of course, by their elders and betters.'
Luna opened her eyes very wide. 'It's a textbook,' she said. 'I found it in the Library.'
'There is no need,' Umbridge said, 'to read books that you find in libraries.' Luna opened her mouth and then shut it again. Umbridge smiled. 'Just lines this time, dear.' She pushed a quill and parchment across the desk. 'Twenty-five times. I must not read books my Professor has not recommended.'
'You haven't given me any ink.'
'You won't need ink,' Umbridge told her softly. 'Just write.'
Obediently, Luna picked up the quill and began to write. To her surprise, scarlet words began to appear on the parchment. At the same time, the back of her right hand began to itch, as if an insect was biting her. Glancing at her hand, she saw raised red welts in the form of letters appear on her skin. I must not read books… As quickly as they had appeared the letters faded, leaving a painful red patch behind.
Luna put down the quill and stared at Umbridge. The Headmistress was watching her, large eyes bulging, hands folded demurely on the table. Embroidered lace cuffs peeped out of the sleeves of her pink cardigan. Her mouth had fallen slightly open.
'Keep writing,' Umbridge said.
By the twentieth line, the back of Luna's hand felt as if it was on fire and her eyes were stinging with the effort of holding back her tears. She let her mind go blank, concentrating on listing the nineteen groups of Ancient Runes, repeating each one silently as she reviewed it.
'eih... dol... no, that's part of the fourth group - twenty-FIVE.'
She forced herself to drop the quill calmly into Umbridge's outstretched hand. The Headmistress picked up the parchment, tore it in half and dropped it into a wastepaper basket lined in pink gingham. She turned back to Luna and smiled.
'Thank you, Luna. I hope we shan't need to have this conversation again.'
--
Luna rammed her hand back into the basin of icy water and bit back a swear word. It was no good. She had tried everything she could think of and her hand still felt as if it had been attacked by fire ants. After a few minutes the surrounding skin began to go numb and she pulled her hand out of the water. Even though the words had disappeared, she could still see them in her mind's eye. I must not read books -
'Try this,' a voice behind her said.
Luna jumped. A thin sallow-faced boy was standing behind her, holding out a bottle made of thick green glass. She took it from him with her good hand and examined it suspiciously. 'What is it?' Luna remembered her manners. 'I'm sorry. Thank you. What is it?'
'Essence of murtlap. It's about the only thing that works.'
Luna uncorked the bottle gratefully. Vanishing the water, she tipped a foul-smelling yellow liquid into the basin and plunged her hand into it. At once the pain was gone. 'Thank you,' she said again. 'I would never have thought of that. How did you find out about it?'
'Professor Snape told me.'
Luna beamed. 'How kind of him.' The boy gave her an odd look. 'Of course, you're in his House, aren't you? You're Theodore. Did she hurt your hand, too?'
'None of your business.'
'I read a book,' Luna continued, as if he had not spoken. 'She -' there was no need to mention Umbridge by name - 'won't let us do any practical work. I found a book in the Library. It was quite good, actually. A bit advanced.'
'Practical Magic. A Guide To Defending Yourself Against The Dark Arts.' Theodore flushed.
'Exactly! It was brand new. I expect somebody ordered it.' Luna frowned. 'Although now I come to think of it that seems a little strange. Why order a book nobody is allowed to read?' She stared at Theodore. 'Unless you wanted to see who took it out.'
--
When Zacharias Smith came down to breakfast with a bandaged hand, Luna knew it was time to act. As soon as morning lessons were over, she hurried to the Library. Practical Magic was back on the shelves, its bright cover contrasting with the dull browns and greys of the other books in the Defence Against the Dark Arts section. Luna dropped to her knees to get a better look at the books, pulling each one out in turn and flipping through it. She was not surprised to discover that none of the remaining books contained any practical work at all.
'But there used to be,' she mused. 'Where did they go?' On impulse she went over to the librarian's desk. Madam Pince was watching her with barely disguised disapproval. Luna gave a friendly smile.
'I was wondering,' she began, ' if there are any practical books on Defence Against the Dark Arts?'
Madam Pince pursed her lips. 'They've been placed in the Restricted Section. You'll need permission from a member of staff. In writing.'
'Of course,' Luna agreed. 'I was a bit surprised to find that Practical Magic was still on the open shelves, actually. Some of the wandwork in there is really quite advanced.'
Madam Pince's mouth slammed shut like a steel strap. Luna waited, hardly daring to move, while the librarian took several deep breaths through her nose. Finally Madam Pince said, 'Practical Magic? Not in my Library.'
'It's over here.' Luna tried to conceal her exhilaration. 'I'll show you.'
The books quivered as the librarian ran her hand along their spines. Luna wondered if they were purring. When her hand brushed against Practical Magic, Madam Pince did not bother to look down, yanking the book from its place on the shelf and stomping back to her desk to examine it.
'It's not in the Catalogue.' Madam Pince opened the book and examined the flyleaf. 'It shouldn't be in the Library.'
'A donation, perhaps?' Luna suggested. 'From a well-wisher.'
'Perhaps. Thank you, Miss Lovegood.' It was a dismissal. Luna left her bag in the Library, so that she would have a reason to come back, and went to find Theodore Nott.
--
She was calmly eating lunch a week later when Ginny hurried over, a huge grin on her face. 'You'll never guess what's happened!'
'Probably not,' Luna agreed. 'I'm not a very good guesser.' She poured pumpkin juice over her mashed potatoes and tasted the mixture. 'A little more horseradish.'
'You're not eating that.'
'Why not?'
Ginny shook her head. 'Never mind. Umbridge has been taken ill!'
'Oh, dear,' Luna said. She met Ginny's eyes. Both girls smiled. 'Who did you have for Defence Against the Dark Arts?'
'Grubbly-Plank. She wasn't very good, but even so.'
Luna nodded. 'Better than.'
'Definitely.'
'So what happened to Professor Umbridge?'
Ginny leaned closer. 'Someone sent her a present. A book on kittens.'
'How nice!' Luna sighed. 'I like kittens.'
'But it wasn't kittens at all. It was The Monster Book of Monsters. Advanced Grade. When she started to read it, it attacked her.' Luna looked suitably amazed. 'She's got some horrible bites,' Ginny said with relish. 'Flitwick said he'd never seen a book so angry. He had to go in and rescue her. I saw Filch cleaning up her office. That horrible pink cardigan is in shreds.'
'Goodness.' Luna picked up her knife and fork again. 'It just goes to show,' she said through a mouthful of roast beef, 'you should never judge a book by its cover.'
Recipient: fell_beast2
Fic or Art: fic
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Luna Lovegood, cameo appearances by others.
Summary: Harry isn't the only one to serve detention with Umbridge. Set during OotP. 1500 words.
Notes: For fell_beast2. I hope you enjoy this!
'Come in dear.'
It was the first time Luna had been in the new Headmistress's office. Painted plates decorated with portraits of beribboned, gambolling kittens adorned a plate rail that she could not remember having been there during Dumbledore's occupancy. As she walked across the turquoise carpet to the Headmistress's desk, Luna glanced automatically to the corner where Fawkes' perch stood. It was gone.
'Sit down.'
Luna sat bolt upright in the armchair and gazed at the Headmistress.
'Now then, Miss Lovegood - Luna. Your Head of House has some excellent things to say about you.' Umbridge scanned a parchment, wrinkling her nose. 'Excellent things, dear.' She turned the parchment face down upon the desk.
Luna waited.
'I've asked you to come and see me today because I just have the teeniest concern, hem, hem!' A pudgy hand pulled something out of a drawer and laid it on the desktop. 'What's this?'
'A book?' Luna said helpfully.
'Not just a book, dear.' Umbridge flipped the book over. Gold letters marched across the scarlet binding. 'What does the title say?' She placed an index finger under the first word and moved it along, as if encouraging a reluctant five-year old.
'Practical Magic,' Luna read, leaning forward. 'A Guide To Defending Yourself Against The Dark Arts.'
'Exactly, dear. You can see my point.'
'No.'
Umbridge gave a tight smile. 'A practical guide, Miss Love - Luna. Practical. You're a very bright girl, dear, but even the most intelligent of children can stray down the wrong path. Unless guided, of course, by their elders and betters.'
Luna opened her eyes very wide. 'It's a textbook,' she said. 'I found it in the Library.'
'There is no need,' Umbridge said, 'to read books that you find in libraries.' Luna opened her mouth and then shut it again. Umbridge smiled. 'Just lines this time, dear.' She pushed a quill and parchment across the desk. 'Twenty-five times. I must not read books my Professor has not recommended.'
'You haven't given me any ink.'
'You won't need ink,' Umbridge told her softly. 'Just write.'
Obediently, Luna picked up the quill and began to write. To her surprise, scarlet words began to appear on the parchment. At the same time, the back of her right hand began to itch, as if an insect was biting her. Glancing at her hand, she saw raised red welts in the form of letters appear on her skin. I must not read books… As quickly as they had appeared the letters faded, leaving a painful red patch behind.
Luna put down the quill and stared at Umbridge. The Headmistress was watching her, large eyes bulging, hands folded demurely on the table. Embroidered lace cuffs peeped out of the sleeves of her pink cardigan. Her mouth had fallen slightly open.
'Keep writing,' Umbridge said.
By the twentieth line, the back of Luna's hand felt as if it was on fire and her eyes were stinging with the effort of holding back her tears. She let her mind go blank, concentrating on listing the nineteen groups of Ancient Runes, repeating each one silently as she reviewed it.
'eih... dol... no, that's part of the fourth group - twenty-FIVE.'
She forced herself to drop the quill calmly into Umbridge's outstretched hand. The Headmistress picked up the parchment, tore it in half and dropped it into a wastepaper basket lined in pink gingham. She turned back to Luna and smiled.
'Thank you, Luna. I hope we shan't need to have this conversation again.'
--
Luna rammed her hand back into the basin of icy water and bit back a swear word. It was no good. She had tried everything she could think of and her hand still felt as if it had been attacked by fire ants. After a few minutes the surrounding skin began to go numb and she pulled her hand out of the water. Even though the words had disappeared, she could still see them in her mind's eye. I must not read books -
'Try this,' a voice behind her said.
Luna jumped. A thin sallow-faced boy was standing behind her, holding out a bottle made of thick green glass. She took it from him with her good hand and examined it suspiciously. 'What is it?' Luna remembered her manners. 'I'm sorry. Thank you. What is it?'
'Essence of murtlap. It's about the only thing that works.'
Luna uncorked the bottle gratefully. Vanishing the water, she tipped a foul-smelling yellow liquid into the basin and plunged her hand into it. At once the pain was gone. 'Thank you,' she said again. 'I would never have thought of that. How did you find out about it?'
'Professor Snape told me.'
Luna beamed. 'How kind of him.' The boy gave her an odd look. 'Of course, you're in his House, aren't you? You're Theodore. Did she hurt your hand, too?'
'None of your business.'
'I read a book,' Luna continued, as if he had not spoken. 'She -' there was no need to mention Umbridge by name - 'won't let us do any practical work. I found a book in the Library. It was quite good, actually. A bit advanced.'
'Practical Magic. A Guide To Defending Yourself Against The Dark Arts.' Theodore flushed.
'Exactly! It was brand new. I expect somebody ordered it.' Luna frowned. 'Although now I come to think of it that seems a little strange. Why order a book nobody is allowed to read?' She stared at Theodore. 'Unless you wanted to see who took it out.'
--
When Zacharias Smith came down to breakfast with a bandaged hand, Luna knew it was time to act. As soon as morning lessons were over, she hurried to the Library. Practical Magic was back on the shelves, its bright cover contrasting with the dull browns and greys of the other books in the Defence Against the Dark Arts section. Luna dropped to her knees to get a better look at the books, pulling each one out in turn and flipping through it. She was not surprised to discover that none of the remaining books contained any practical work at all.
'But there used to be,' she mused. 'Where did they go?' On impulse she went over to the librarian's desk. Madam Pince was watching her with barely disguised disapproval. Luna gave a friendly smile.
'I was wondering,' she began, ' if there are any practical books on Defence Against the Dark Arts?'
Madam Pince pursed her lips. 'They've been placed in the Restricted Section. You'll need permission from a member of staff. In writing.'
'Of course,' Luna agreed. 'I was a bit surprised to find that Practical Magic was still on the open shelves, actually. Some of the wandwork in there is really quite advanced.'
Madam Pince's mouth slammed shut like a steel strap. Luna waited, hardly daring to move, while the librarian took several deep breaths through her nose. Finally Madam Pince said, 'Practical Magic? Not in my Library.'
'It's over here.' Luna tried to conceal her exhilaration. 'I'll show you.'
The books quivered as the librarian ran her hand along their spines. Luna wondered if they were purring. When her hand brushed against Practical Magic, Madam Pince did not bother to look down, yanking the book from its place on the shelf and stomping back to her desk to examine it.
'It's not in the Catalogue.' Madam Pince opened the book and examined the flyleaf. 'It shouldn't be in the Library.'
'A donation, perhaps?' Luna suggested. 'From a well-wisher.'
'Perhaps. Thank you, Miss Lovegood.' It was a dismissal. Luna left her bag in the Library, so that she would have a reason to come back, and went to find Theodore Nott.
--
She was calmly eating lunch a week later when Ginny hurried over, a huge grin on her face. 'You'll never guess what's happened!'
'Probably not,' Luna agreed. 'I'm not a very good guesser.' She poured pumpkin juice over her mashed potatoes and tasted the mixture. 'A little more horseradish.'
'You're not eating that.'
'Why not?'
Ginny shook her head. 'Never mind. Umbridge has been taken ill!'
'Oh, dear,' Luna said. She met Ginny's eyes. Both girls smiled. 'Who did you have for Defence Against the Dark Arts?'
'Grubbly-Plank. She wasn't very good, but even so.'
Luna nodded. 'Better than.'
'Definitely.'
'So what happened to Professor Umbridge?'
Ginny leaned closer. 'Someone sent her a present. A book on kittens.'
'How nice!' Luna sighed. 'I like kittens.'
'But it wasn't kittens at all. It was The Monster Book of Monsters. Advanced Grade. When she started to read it, it attacked her.' Luna looked suitably amazed. 'She's got some horrible bites,' Ginny said with relish. 'Flitwick said he'd never seen a book so angry. He had to go in and rescue her. I saw Filch cleaning up her office. That horrible pink cardigan is in shreds.'
'Goodness.' Luna picked up her knife and fork again. 'It just goes to show,' she said through a mouthful of roast beef, 'you should never judge a book by its cover.'