FIC: Al’s Fixation (Albus Severus/James Sirius, NC-17)
Title: Al’s Fixation
Author: nia-kantorka
Prompt: #20 from hp_kinkfest 2015 by gracerene
Pairing(s): James Sirius/Albus Severus
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,067
Content/Warnings:[Spoiler (click to open)]Erotic asphyxiation, Incest, Rimming, Anal sex
Summary: It’s been two months since he walked in on me. Since he found me - pants down, prick in hand, scarf tight around the neck.
Author's Notes:
Grace, darling, I hope this is the surprise it should be. That prompt came up three times when I searched for one of yours. Let’s hope you’ll like what I did with it. Happy birthday, sweetheart! ♥
The following three people made this happen: my trusted alpha reader who loved the ending when I was unsure, my precious beta who discussed the differences between strangling and choking with me and kept Al in line, and my lovely, scheming mod friend who made this possible. Thank you very much, ladies!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling and associates. No copyright infringement intended.
Read on Ao3
Al’s Fixation
Now
It’s been two months since he walked in on me. Since he found me - pants down, prick in hand, scarf tight around the neck. Merlin, it was embarrassing, to be caught by one’s older brother trying to rub one off while suffocating on blood and air.
It’s what I do. We do. Now.
~o~
Two months earlier
This was my first attempt at choking myself and trying to get off at the same time. And it wasn’t easy to do it right. Erotic asphyxiation was way more complicated than I’d thought it would be. At least if one were on their own. There was a knot to tie right, laws of physics to take into account, some head-and-neck anatomy to learn, and the trickiest part - to get the tug right while jerking off.
Being born into the well-known and much-observed Potter family didn’t help either. It’s one thing to let those press vultures know about my preference for men, and another to reveal my lust for deviant sex practices. So, I didn’t look for help on the matter. No need to get denounced by false friends as it’s happened to each of us younger Potters and Weasleys - at least once.
I thought I was alone in the house, with mum and dad being on holidays and Lily staying at Rose’s for the weekend. James had moved into his own flat a year ago, so I didn’t even think of him.
Big mistake. My brother walked in on me all laid bare. Literally. And the fucker didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. No, James just stood there, hazel brown eyes darting over me, while humiliation bubbled up hot in my gut and my brain lacked air.
I can only assume how it must have looked. Me leaning against the bedpost, scarf knotted and secured above my head, perspiration dampening my face. My trousers and pants crumbled around my bare feet, knees slightly bent to get the tug around the neck right, all the while my fingers were rubbing my hard prick like my life depended on it.
My body was tingling from arousal and the lack of oxygen made me dizzy. The overwhelming sensations won over my embarrassment and I came with a gurgled moan. While the last bit of semen dribbled into my fist my knees gave out and…the world went black.
Seemingly, I did get the knot right after all. Or not, if one looks at it from a healthier perspective.
When I woke up I felt really, really good. I’d read that it would be like this and even the danger of having lost consciousness wasn’t enough to dull my mood. It took me a few seconds to become aware of my surroundings. I was lying on the bed, shanks lifted on two pillows while James sat next to me, one hand stroking lightly through my hair.
“You’re an idiot,” he murmured.
And though his voice was soft, nearly affectionate, all my defences hackled up.
“Why? Can’t stand your little brother being kinky?”
It hurt to reckon that James was thinking less of me, now that he'd seen me. Sibling rivalry cast aside, I've always worshipped him.
Everybody tells us that I take after our dad. And I might have his looks down to his knobbly knees, but James has inherited his character traits. Without desperate times to harden them to steel, James is playfully brave and excitedly smart. He goes about life like our uncle Charlie tames dragons - ingenious, skilful and at ease.
So even though James still ruffled my hair and didn’t seek any distance from me, I had to close my eyes. Just imagining his warm gaze getting cold and his laughter being replaced by a distasteful sneer made my blood run cold.
"Jamie…" My voice cracked, and suddenly I wished for the earth to swallow me whole.
“Stop it, you berk. I didn't mean it like that." He sighed, sounding exasperated and annoyed in a way only older siblings can. "You should have asked me for help.”
It took a few seconds for the message to sink in, but then my lids flew open and I crooked my head to face him. His eyes looked down at me with curiosity and his mouth showed this mischievous smile. The one I love.
“Sorry?”
“You heard me. I can help you with this kink of yours.”
That wasn’t what I had expected.
“Err...and why would you want to help me?”
“Let me think about it, brother mine,” James said mockingly. “I’m a healer in training and know what and how to do it. We’re family, so no worries about being ratted out to the press. Most important though, you standing against that bedpost was the hottest thing I’ve seen in a while.”
His voice trailed off and he took a deep breath while raking his fingers through his brown fauxhawk. Whatever fight James fought, after some moments he came to a conclusion and took my clammy hand in both his warm and strong ones.
“Think about it, Al. The next time you need to...do this. Tell me. I’ll come and keep you safe.” His expression was earnest and not what I was used to, but then a lopsided smile betrayed a hint of his usual playfulness. “I’m sure my hands will be way better tools to suffocate you properly than any scarf or rope alone could be.”
~o~
Now
I’m eager. Eager for James to come home. Home to our flat. It's still new to me, as I moved into his second bedroom only two weeks ago.
I’m jittery. It’s early Friday evening and James’s shift at St Mungo’s should have ended nearly an hour ago. But of course something had to come up. Silently I curse the fucking nuisance of having to wait for my brother while my anticipation runs high.
We have plans for tonight.
Maybe I should start on my own? Nah. I would get into real trouble for being impatient. Hopefully James will find his way into St Mungo’s fireplace and come home soon.
Until then I could prepare everything. Yeah, that will do. Just walking over the threshold of James’s bedroom and taking a deep breath helps to unwind my nerves.
~o~
Five weeks earlier
It took three weeks. Then my resolution had crumbled to nothing and I gave in to my urges - I sent James an owl. And though he had been on shift, he answered me within the span of an hour. He really was serious about his offer. The note in my trembling hands still read like it did the ten times I’d read it before.
7 tonight. My flat. Wards have been adjusted.
It was five to seven and my heart was beating like a hummingbird’s in my chest. Oh, I wanted to go and was scared shitless from one second to the next. But just thinking of not going tightened the pits of my stomach into an uncomfortable knot. So, I would see any minute now how far James would go to help me.
I looked in the mirror one last time. I had lost the lean teenage frame during the year since I started playing Seeker for the Wigtown Wanderers, which had gained me some muscles. I’ll never be beefy, but I like that our home pitch speaker calls me our tough and spry Potter nowadays.
I hadn’t chosen different clothes than normal: black skinny jeans, black trainers, purple tee and light grey hoodie. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t not a date, either. Hell, I had no clue what would happen that night. But I was excited to find out. Specially, to see James’s face when he realised that I had conveniently forgotten my pants.
~o~
James was waiting for me when I stepped out of the fireplace. He was barefoot and wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. Comfy clothes for an easygoing evening at home. Yet his eyes revealed that he was nervous too.
His warm gaze was roving over me, but didn’t linger on my face. It was a bit unsettling and I felt the blood crawling up my cheeks.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
Oh, how he knows me. The exact right thing said at the right time. Taking both our tension, he tried to dump it.
“Thanks for having me and...mh...helping me.”
My throat was still dry and I had trouble getting the words out.
As if on cue, he shoved a ginger lemonade into my hands. “Take a sip and come. Bedroom’s prepared.” James grabbed my arm to drag me along with him.
“I can see you’re tied up in knots. I think we should start with a shoulder massage so you can get used to my hands on your neck.”
“Er, it’s not that. It’s just... We haven’t talked about the proceedings and I’m unsure how far you’ll want to take this. Will you...mh...join me?”
We both came to a halt before the bed facing one another, and his blazing gaze froze me on the spot.
Fuck. Where did my confident Seeker persona hide when I needed it? Shaking my head and waiting for his reply, I went for nonchalance, drank the lemonade and dropped the empty bottle on his bedside table where it joined James’s wand, a tube of lube, and a silken scarf.
“You’ve given me wanking material for weeks now, so I’m going to join you. I know, we’re brothers and it’s...” He gulped and I could see he was still nervous too, which, strangely enough, helped me to relax and lean into his space. “But...I can’t help it, Al. I want you in every way you’re comfortable with. I want to help you. Let’s try…”
Relief flooded me and a grin spread on my face. James didn’t hesitate any further: he closed the remaining inches between us, and met my lips with his.
My brain melted. Kissing Jamie was like nothing else. No other kiss had ever tasted like this: as if I was savouring the sun, feeling the wind whooshing past me on the broom, seeing the stars cast light sparkles in the dark and as if I was touched by the wetness of the salty sea. It was incredible. His tongue plundered my mouth, lips sucked at mine, and teeth nipped at my flesh. I had to cling to James's waist otherwise I’d have collapsed in a heap.
James moaned and the sound of his arousal went straight to my groin. I started to worm my way under his shirt, eager to feel his skin under my fingers. I gasped for air, and after a few seconds I buried my nose next to his ear, where I inhaled deeply again. His fragrance was fresh, solid, James.
“Clothes. Come on, Jamie, let’s take off our clothes.” Even to my own ears I sounded desperate. James chuckled.
“Beat me,” he said and pulled his tee over his head and pushed the sweatpants down to the floor.
I was still in jeans when James crawled onto the bed, clad only in blue pants. They clinged to his arse nicely and tight.
“I’ve won and can now enjoy the show.” Settling into a comfortable sitting position James sounded positively delighted and took me in.
I took off shoes and socks, swallowed, but carried on and opened my fly.
James's eyebrow rose.
“Naughty, naughty, little brother.”
“Why do you sound surprised?” I asked, shimmying out of my jeans.
“Good question.” James grinned and his eyes flickered over my naked body. “God, Al, you’re beautiful. C’mere.”
He opened his arms and I nearly fell over my own feet while crawling into James's embrace. Pressing my body against his felt shockingly natural even though I knew it should be dirty or wrong or something like that. Instead it was sexy. James was sexy. I sought his mouth for another kiss and pushed him into the mattress.
James’s skin was hot, soft and a bit hairy. Firm muscles flexed under my fervent touch and his cock’s head tried to escape the pants’ restraints and jumped against my naked one. More. I needed more of him.
My hands shook while I tried to get rid of his pants. When I finally succeeded and the last bit of cloth between us got lost somewhere among the sheets, James pushed me off his body. I was caught unguarded, rolled on my back, and groaned frustratedly about this sudden loss of his skin.
“What the fuck?”
He sat up, tights resting on calves, and panted heavily.
“Al, you came for a reason,” James said while his hand raked through his hair in an obvious attempt to calm himself. “You wanted to be...choked. That’s still the plan, isn’t it?”
James’s voice expressed a potpourri of contradicting emotions I couldn’t distinguish clearly. But I knew he wanted to keep going and wanted to make me happy at the same time. And though arousal was still bubbling in my veins, keeping my prick rock hard, it was nothing compared to the burning heat that bloomed in my chest. My heart went supernova.
I closed my eyes and dropped my head on the pillow taking some rasping breaths to find the remains of my pipes somewhere in my throat.
“Albus?”
“Errr,” I croaked.
“You okay?”
“Yeah...I’m fine. You’re right. I came here to be suffocated by you. Sounds bizarre saying it out loud…”
“Shut it. I don’t give a shit about what people think or what the norm is. Who defines normal? You want to be asphyxiated? That’s fine as long as you don’t choke to death. And you have me to make sure of that.” Desperation and longing tinted James’s voice, “I love you, Al. Probably more than I should.”
I turned up, mimicking his pose, locking gazes with his deep brown irises.
“Jamie… I want your fingers, not a scarf, around my throat and I want you to fuck me while doing it. Could you do that for me?” It was my way to say I love you too. I really do.
James’s breath hitched and he swallowed, but then his fingers came up, hands cupped my cheekbones tentatively as if skin and bone would vanish under his touch.
“Whatever you desire.”
I leaned forwards. While his hands roamed downwards to my neck and shoulders, our foreheads touched. My mouth rested on his, and I mumbled a thank you against his lips.
A resolute gleam lit his features and I knew he'd made up his mind. Nothing would stop us now.
"Okay then, get on all fours."
Wiggling my arse, I did as I was told. I spread my knees as far as I could and suppressed a smile when James’s caught a breath.
“Look at you. And everyone thinks you are so virtuous. Appearances are deceptive, little brother.”
James settled between my legs, thighs and knees brushing mine, cock pressed against my balls. Then he was placing little kisses on the bony knobs of my spine between my shoulder blades. His hands followed the path of his lips in circles, coming closer to my throat, where my veins fluttered. His palms were rough and dry from regular scrubbing, and their warmth radiated on my skin while they glided around my neck, fingertips searching for my pulse.
It was thrilling to be exposed like this, to not flinch under his seeking touch.
“Strong, regular, elevated. Let’s see what we can do about that.”
My cock jumped, smacked against my belly, and a needy sound escaped my throat.
James’s hands left my neck, the place where I wanted them to be, and stroked down my back until they came to rest on my buttocks. That was not bad either. He spread my cheeks and my bared hole quivered under his breath. The moment I wondered if he was going to lick my arse, his tongue darted over my pucker and probed a way into me seconds later.
It was hot, wet, and relentless. A dream come true, being opened like this. The encounters I’d had in clubs, alleys and locker rooms had been too meaningless and fast to even think about rimming. But here, under the onslaught of James’s tongue, I melted and opened up.
I heard a little popping sound and a few seconds later a lubed finger joined the tongue in my arse. It felt heavenly, sloppy tongue and prodding finger battling for space. I was panting and realised just then that I was making these embarrassingly high-pitched sounds.
James’s tongue left me, but before I could protest, a second finger was pushed inside, closely followed by a third - all thrusting in and out of my arse in a steady rhythm, slickening up and widening my passage. Every other stroke James curled them slightly to prod my nub and I tried not to listen to the keening that that coaxed out of me.
“Nngh...”
James positioned himself behind me and I could feel the tip of his moistened dick resting against my eager body.
“I’m going to fuck you, li’l brother, but you’re not allowed to come until my hands are around your neck. Got that?”
“Oh god, Jamie, please.”
Eventually, he had mercy, grabbed my hips and thrust forward. He didn’t give me time to adjust, which was perfect. The slight burn kept me grounded. Otherwise I might have fainted, not from lack of oxygen but sheer pleasure.
James set a steadily vigorous pace while his hands delved over my sides, ribs and shoulders reaching for my neck. Soon eight fingers were digging into the soft parts of my throat while his thumbs provided leverage from the hairline on each side of my spine.
He could kill me in an instant, but would never do that. He was my brother, my lover, my Jamie, and I trusted him with my life.
The pressure on my wind-pipe grew, and with it my pleasure. My balls felt like they would combust any minute, though I didn’t know for sure. I couldn’t look and didn’t have a hand to grab my neglected cock. It was heaven and hell to be that powerless, to be flooded by endless desire the lower the level of oxygen sank, and the more the dizziness rose.
I wanted James to pound harder into me and to cut my air flow even more, but my lungs burned and I was unable to croak a single word. Too far gone, too close, too lightheaded.
Somehow James read my mind or he followed his own dick's need for more friction because his pistoning became harder.
“Come for me. I need your tight arse pulsing around my cock...Now, Al.”
And though I was lost in my own headspace, I heard James’s voice saying my name. His demanding tone pushed me over. I shuddered and came hard without a sound. Everything went white and golden, an exploding sun before my eyes, no black anywhere. Pure elation.
My cock oozed one last dribble of come when the choking grip on my neck vanished, air reached my lungs again, and the trembling muscles in my arms and legs gave way. We toppled down on the bed and James went with the changing angle, bearing down on me. It took only a few more of his forceful thrusts until his release filled my arse.
James lay on top of me, spent and breathless. After a while his limp cock slipped out and he rolled off from my back. We lay side by side, one of his arms thrown over my chest, legs entwined with mine. My big brother was spooning me and a deep and calming satiation permeated through my body. My mind was blissfully silent too. My eyelids grew heavy and the last thing I felt was the soft kiss Jamie placed on my damp nape.
~o~
Now
I must have dozed off on the bed because the chiming of the Floo wakes me up. A short Tempus tells me it’s nearly half past three in the morning. It takes my muddled brain a few seconds to add the numbers. Fuck, something serious must have happened to stretch James’s shift to nearly twenty hours.
“Al?” He sounds worn out and shattered. My heart skips a beat and I nearly run into the living room.
James stands there next to the fireplace as if he doesn’t know what to do with himself. His shoulders are slouched and the light has left his eyes, the brown looking muddy and dull. People must have been seriously injured or died. Yes, I want to know about it, but that’s not the most important thing right now. It only takes me a few strides until I’m enfolding him in my arms.
He hugs me back like there’ll be no morning, his face pressed against the crook of my neck and then he starts shaking. Even though James doesn’t cry or make any noise, it hurts to see him like this. I sway on my feet until we slump together to the ground, my arms still around him, trying to support and secure him.
I whisper soothing nonsense into his hair. It feels like forever until he stops trembling though it has probably been only fifteen minutes.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“There was an explosion in the Mr Mulpepper's Apothecary storage room, which caused half the building and the adjoining houses to collapse towards Knockturn Alley. It’s the end of August, everybody was doing their Hogwarts shopping and…,” his voice breaks.
“Oh, sweet Merlin. Did someone die?”
“An old witch had a heart attack. And the magical EMT couldn’t reach a wizard buried under the debris in time. There were up to forty people with Potion burns, magical side effects and multiple fractures. Around the same amount of victims with less severe injuries. Chief Healer Smethwyck fire-called everyone, even the healers who were on holidays.”
“Were there lots of children injured?”
James shakes his head. “Only a few. Thank Merlin. It was bad enough though. I can only imagine how much worse it must have been for Mum, Dad and everyone who took part in the battle of Hogwarts.”
He falls silent and I don’t even know how to respond to that. I’m still embracing him when I decide it’s time for us to leave the floor before our limbs crick and we take root.
“Jamie, stand up. I’m sure you haven’t eaten in ages. Go and take a shower and I’ll prepare something.”
I usher him to the bathroom, put on the shower and help him undress. He’s still in a muted state when I leave him to it and start to gather some food. There’s chicken broth in the fridge, bread and cheese. I warm up the soup and put a cheese sandwich together, with extra pickles because James loves them.
He emerges at our dinner table in pyjamas, then sits and devours the meal in less than five minutes. I’ve served the soup and sandwich with a big glass jug of water and he nearly empties it before he’s sated.
I observe him the whole time and see the colour returning to his cheeks, and finally a small smile lights up his face. I sigh inaudibly in relief.
“That’s not how you had imagined this night, is it?”
“Don’t be daft. It doesn’t matter how I thought the night would go. You’re here, you’re exhausted from too many healing charms and we’re going to bed now. Come!” I reach for James hand and hoist him off the chair and towards his bedroom.
We slip under the duvet together and his eyes roam about the bedside table where I had put the lube, a few silken scarves, a long climbing rope and a collection of varying suede cords earlier this evening.
“Oh, Al.”
“Stop it, Jamie.”
I kiss him fleetingly on the mouth. He sighs and I pull his body nearer until we’re both comfortably settled. We are facing each other, our shins touching and his hand resting in mine.
“Do we have to set an alarm?”
“No. I’m off shift for twenty-four hours.”
“Good. Let’s sleep.”
When I wake up several hours later, I’m blindfolded, a scarf is slung around my neck and James’s fingers are tracing the soft skin of my filling cock.
“Time to thank you, little brother.”
And he does.
~o~
Author: nia-kantorka
Prompt: #20 from hp_kinkfest 2015 by gracerene
Pairing(s): James Sirius/Albus Severus
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,067
Content/Warnings:[Spoiler (click to open)]Erotic asphyxiation, Incest, Rimming, Anal sex
Summary: It’s been two months since he walked in on me. Since he found me - pants down, prick in hand, scarf tight around the neck.
Author's Notes:
Grace, darling, I hope this is the surprise it should be. That prompt came up three times when I searched for one of yours. Let’s hope you’ll like what I did with it. Happy birthday, sweetheart! ♥
The following three people made this happen: my trusted alpha reader who loved the ending when I was unsure, my precious beta who discussed the differences between strangling and choking with me and kept Al in line, and my lovely, scheming mod friend who made this possible. Thank you very much, ladies!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling and associates. No copyright infringement intended.
Read on Ao3
Al’s Fixation
Now
It’s been two months since he walked in on me. Since he found me - pants down, prick in hand, scarf tight around the neck. Merlin, it was embarrassing, to be caught by one’s older brother trying to rub one off while suffocating on blood and air.
It’s what I do. We do. Now.
~o~
Two months earlier
This was my first attempt at choking myself and trying to get off at the same time. And it wasn’t easy to do it right. Erotic asphyxiation was way more complicated than I’d thought it would be. At least if one were on their own. There was a knot to tie right, laws of physics to take into account, some head-and-neck anatomy to learn, and the trickiest part - to get the tug right while jerking off.
Being born into the well-known and much-observed Potter family didn’t help either. It’s one thing to let those press vultures know about my preference for men, and another to reveal my lust for deviant sex practices. So, I didn’t look for help on the matter. No need to get denounced by false friends as it’s happened to each of us younger Potters and Weasleys - at least once.
I thought I was alone in the house, with mum and dad being on holidays and Lily staying at Rose’s for the weekend. James had moved into his own flat a year ago, so I didn’t even think of him.
Big mistake. My brother walked in on me all laid bare. Literally. And the fucker didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. No, James just stood there, hazel brown eyes darting over me, while humiliation bubbled up hot in my gut and my brain lacked air.
I can only assume how it must have looked. Me leaning against the bedpost, scarf knotted and secured above my head, perspiration dampening my face. My trousers and pants crumbled around my bare feet, knees slightly bent to get the tug around the neck right, all the while my fingers were rubbing my hard prick like my life depended on it.
My body was tingling from arousal and the lack of oxygen made me dizzy. The overwhelming sensations won over my embarrassment and I came with a gurgled moan. While the last bit of semen dribbled into my fist my knees gave out and…the world went black.
Seemingly, I did get the knot right after all. Or not, if one looks at it from a healthier perspective.
When I woke up I felt really, really good. I’d read that it would be like this and even the danger of having lost consciousness wasn’t enough to dull my mood. It took me a few seconds to become aware of my surroundings. I was lying on the bed, shanks lifted on two pillows while James sat next to me, one hand stroking lightly through my hair.
“You’re an idiot,” he murmured.
And though his voice was soft, nearly affectionate, all my defences hackled up.
“Why? Can’t stand your little brother being kinky?”
It hurt to reckon that James was thinking less of me, now that he'd seen me. Sibling rivalry cast aside, I've always worshipped him.
Everybody tells us that I take after our dad. And I might have his looks down to his knobbly knees, but James has inherited his character traits. Without desperate times to harden them to steel, James is playfully brave and excitedly smart. He goes about life like our uncle Charlie tames dragons - ingenious, skilful and at ease.
So even though James still ruffled my hair and didn’t seek any distance from me, I had to close my eyes. Just imagining his warm gaze getting cold and his laughter being replaced by a distasteful sneer made my blood run cold.
"Jamie…" My voice cracked, and suddenly I wished for the earth to swallow me whole.
“Stop it, you berk. I didn't mean it like that." He sighed, sounding exasperated and annoyed in a way only older siblings can. "You should have asked me for help.”
It took a few seconds for the message to sink in, but then my lids flew open and I crooked my head to face him. His eyes looked down at me with curiosity and his mouth showed this mischievous smile. The one I love.
“Sorry?”
“You heard me. I can help you with this kink of yours.”
That wasn’t what I had expected.
“Err...and why would you want to help me?”
“Let me think about it, brother mine,” James said mockingly. “I’m a healer in training and know what and how to do it. We’re family, so no worries about being ratted out to the press. Most important though, you standing against that bedpost was the hottest thing I’ve seen in a while.”
His voice trailed off and he took a deep breath while raking his fingers through his brown fauxhawk. Whatever fight James fought, after some moments he came to a conclusion and took my clammy hand in both his warm and strong ones.
“Think about it, Al. The next time you need to...do this. Tell me. I’ll come and keep you safe.” His expression was earnest and not what I was used to, but then a lopsided smile betrayed a hint of his usual playfulness. “I’m sure my hands will be way better tools to suffocate you properly than any scarf or rope alone could be.”
~o~
Now
I’m eager. Eager for James to come home. Home to our flat. It's still new to me, as I moved into his second bedroom only two weeks ago.
I’m jittery. It’s early Friday evening and James’s shift at St Mungo’s should have ended nearly an hour ago. But of course something had to come up. Silently I curse the fucking nuisance of having to wait for my brother while my anticipation runs high.
We have plans for tonight.
Maybe I should start on my own? Nah. I would get into real trouble for being impatient. Hopefully James will find his way into St Mungo’s fireplace and come home soon.
Until then I could prepare everything. Yeah, that will do. Just walking over the threshold of James’s bedroom and taking a deep breath helps to unwind my nerves.
~o~
Five weeks earlier
It took three weeks. Then my resolution had crumbled to nothing and I gave in to my urges - I sent James an owl. And though he had been on shift, he answered me within the span of an hour. He really was serious about his offer. The note in my trembling hands still read like it did the ten times I’d read it before.
7 tonight. My flat. Wards have been adjusted.
It was five to seven and my heart was beating like a hummingbird’s in my chest. Oh, I wanted to go and was scared shitless from one second to the next. But just thinking of not going tightened the pits of my stomach into an uncomfortable knot. So, I would see any minute now how far James would go to help me.
I looked in the mirror one last time. I had lost the lean teenage frame during the year since I started playing Seeker for the Wigtown Wanderers, which had gained me some muscles. I’ll never be beefy, but I like that our home pitch speaker calls me our tough and spry Potter nowadays.
I hadn’t chosen different clothes than normal: black skinny jeans, black trainers, purple tee and light grey hoodie. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t not a date, either. Hell, I had no clue what would happen that night. But I was excited to find out. Specially, to see James’s face when he realised that I had conveniently forgotten my pants.
~o~
James was waiting for me when I stepped out of the fireplace. He was barefoot and wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. Comfy clothes for an easygoing evening at home. Yet his eyes revealed that he was nervous too.
His warm gaze was roving over me, but didn’t linger on my face. It was a bit unsettling and I felt the blood crawling up my cheeks.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
Oh, how he knows me. The exact right thing said at the right time. Taking both our tension, he tried to dump it.
“Thanks for having me and...mh...helping me.”
My throat was still dry and I had trouble getting the words out.
As if on cue, he shoved a ginger lemonade into my hands. “Take a sip and come. Bedroom’s prepared.” James grabbed my arm to drag me along with him.
“I can see you’re tied up in knots. I think we should start with a shoulder massage so you can get used to my hands on your neck.”
“Er, it’s not that. It’s just... We haven’t talked about the proceedings and I’m unsure how far you’ll want to take this. Will you...mh...join me?”
We both came to a halt before the bed facing one another, and his blazing gaze froze me on the spot.
Fuck. Where did my confident Seeker persona hide when I needed it? Shaking my head and waiting for his reply, I went for nonchalance, drank the lemonade and dropped the empty bottle on his bedside table where it joined James’s wand, a tube of lube, and a silken scarf.
“You’ve given me wanking material for weeks now, so I’m going to join you. I know, we’re brothers and it’s...” He gulped and I could see he was still nervous too, which, strangely enough, helped me to relax and lean into his space. “But...I can’t help it, Al. I want you in every way you’re comfortable with. I want to help you. Let’s try…”
Relief flooded me and a grin spread on my face. James didn’t hesitate any further: he closed the remaining inches between us, and met my lips with his.
My brain melted. Kissing Jamie was like nothing else. No other kiss had ever tasted like this: as if I was savouring the sun, feeling the wind whooshing past me on the broom, seeing the stars cast light sparkles in the dark and as if I was touched by the wetness of the salty sea. It was incredible. His tongue plundered my mouth, lips sucked at mine, and teeth nipped at my flesh. I had to cling to James's waist otherwise I’d have collapsed in a heap.
James moaned and the sound of his arousal went straight to my groin. I started to worm my way under his shirt, eager to feel his skin under my fingers. I gasped for air, and after a few seconds I buried my nose next to his ear, where I inhaled deeply again. His fragrance was fresh, solid, James.
“Clothes. Come on, Jamie, let’s take off our clothes.” Even to my own ears I sounded desperate. James chuckled.
“Beat me,” he said and pulled his tee over his head and pushed the sweatpants down to the floor.
I was still in jeans when James crawled onto the bed, clad only in blue pants. They clinged to his arse nicely and tight.
“I’ve won and can now enjoy the show.” Settling into a comfortable sitting position James sounded positively delighted and took me in.
I took off shoes and socks, swallowed, but carried on and opened my fly.
James's eyebrow rose.
“Naughty, naughty, little brother.”
“Why do you sound surprised?” I asked, shimmying out of my jeans.
“Good question.” James grinned and his eyes flickered over my naked body. “God, Al, you’re beautiful. C’mere.”
He opened his arms and I nearly fell over my own feet while crawling into James's embrace. Pressing my body against his felt shockingly natural even though I knew it should be dirty or wrong or something like that. Instead it was sexy. James was sexy. I sought his mouth for another kiss and pushed him into the mattress.
James’s skin was hot, soft and a bit hairy. Firm muscles flexed under my fervent touch and his cock’s head tried to escape the pants’ restraints and jumped against my naked one. More. I needed more of him.
My hands shook while I tried to get rid of his pants. When I finally succeeded and the last bit of cloth between us got lost somewhere among the sheets, James pushed me off his body. I was caught unguarded, rolled on my back, and groaned frustratedly about this sudden loss of his skin.
“What the fuck?”
He sat up, tights resting on calves, and panted heavily.
“Al, you came for a reason,” James said while his hand raked through his hair in an obvious attempt to calm himself. “You wanted to be...choked. That’s still the plan, isn’t it?”
James’s voice expressed a potpourri of contradicting emotions I couldn’t distinguish clearly. But I knew he wanted to keep going and wanted to make me happy at the same time. And though arousal was still bubbling in my veins, keeping my prick rock hard, it was nothing compared to the burning heat that bloomed in my chest. My heart went supernova.
I closed my eyes and dropped my head on the pillow taking some rasping breaths to find the remains of my pipes somewhere in my throat.
“Albus?”
“Errr,” I croaked.
“You okay?”
“Yeah...I’m fine. You’re right. I came here to be suffocated by you. Sounds bizarre saying it out loud…”
“Shut it. I don’t give a shit about what people think or what the norm is. Who defines normal? You want to be asphyxiated? That’s fine as long as you don’t choke to death. And you have me to make sure of that.” Desperation and longing tinted James’s voice, “I love you, Al. Probably more than I should.”
I turned up, mimicking his pose, locking gazes with his deep brown irises.
“Jamie… I want your fingers, not a scarf, around my throat and I want you to fuck me while doing it. Could you do that for me?” It was my way to say I love you too. I really do.
James’s breath hitched and he swallowed, but then his fingers came up, hands cupped my cheekbones tentatively as if skin and bone would vanish under his touch.
“Whatever you desire.”
I leaned forwards. While his hands roamed downwards to my neck and shoulders, our foreheads touched. My mouth rested on his, and I mumbled a thank you against his lips.
A resolute gleam lit his features and I knew he'd made up his mind. Nothing would stop us now.
"Okay then, get on all fours."
Wiggling my arse, I did as I was told. I spread my knees as far as I could and suppressed a smile when James’s caught a breath.
“Look at you. And everyone thinks you are so virtuous. Appearances are deceptive, little brother.”
James settled between my legs, thighs and knees brushing mine, cock pressed against my balls. Then he was placing little kisses on the bony knobs of my spine between my shoulder blades. His hands followed the path of his lips in circles, coming closer to my throat, where my veins fluttered. His palms were rough and dry from regular scrubbing, and their warmth radiated on my skin while they glided around my neck, fingertips searching for my pulse.
It was thrilling to be exposed like this, to not flinch under his seeking touch.
“Strong, regular, elevated. Let’s see what we can do about that.”
My cock jumped, smacked against my belly, and a needy sound escaped my throat.
James’s hands left my neck, the place where I wanted them to be, and stroked down my back until they came to rest on my buttocks. That was not bad either. He spread my cheeks and my bared hole quivered under his breath. The moment I wondered if he was going to lick my arse, his tongue darted over my pucker and probed a way into me seconds later.
It was hot, wet, and relentless. A dream come true, being opened like this. The encounters I’d had in clubs, alleys and locker rooms had been too meaningless and fast to even think about rimming. But here, under the onslaught of James’s tongue, I melted and opened up.
I heard a little popping sound and a few seconds later a lubed finger joined the tongue in my arse. It felt heavenly, sloppy tongue and prodding finger battling for space. I was panting and realised just then that I was making these embarrassingly high-pitched sounds.
James’s tongue left me, but before I could protest, a second finger was pushed inside, closely followed by a third - all thrusting in and out of my arse in a steady rhythm, slickening up and widening my passage. Every other stroke James curled them slightly to prod my nub and I tried not to listen to the keening that that coaxed out of me.
“Nngh...”
James positioned himself behind me and I could feel the tip of his moistened dick resting against my eager body.
“I’m going to fuck you, li’l brother, but you’re not allowed to come until my hands are around your neck. Got that?”
“Oh god, Jamie, please.”
Eventually, he had mercy, grabbed my hips and thrust forward. He didn’t give me time to adjust, which was perfect. The slight burn kept me grounded. Otherwise I might have fainted, not from lack of oxygen but sheer pleasure.
James set a steadily vigorous pace while his hands delved over my sides, ribs and shoulders reaching for my neck. Soon eight fingers were digging into the soft parts of my throat while his thumbs provided leverage from the hairline on each side of my spine.
He could kill me in an instant, but would never do that. He was my brother, my lover, my Jamie, and I trusted him with my life.
The pressure on my wind-pipe grew, and with it my pleasure. My balls felt like they would combust any minute, though I didn’t know for sure. I couldn’t look and didn’t have a hand to grab my neglected cock. It was heaven and hell to be that powerless, to be flooded by endless desire the lower the level of oxygen sank, and the more the dizziness rose.
I wanted James to pound harder into me and to cut my air flow even more, but my lungs burned and I was unable to croak a single word. Too far gone, too close, too lightheaded.
Somehow James read my mind or he followed his own dick's need for more friction because his pistoning became harder.
“Come for me. I need your tight arse pulsing around my cock...Now, Al.”
And though I was lost in my own headspace, I heard James’s voice saying my name. His demanding tone pushed me over. I shuddered and came hard without a sound. Everything went white and golden, an exploding sun before my eyes, no black anywhere. Pure elation.
My cock oozed one last dribble of come when the choking grip on my neck vanished, air reached my lungs again, and the trembling muscles in my arms and legs gave way. We toppled down on the bed and James went with the changing angle, bearing down on me. It took only a few more of his forceful thrusts until his release filled my arse.
James lay on top of me, spent and breathless. After a while his limp cock slipped out and he rolled off from my back. We lay side by side, one of his arms thrown over my chest, legs entwined with mine. My big brother was spooning me and a deep and calming satiation permeated through my body. My mind was blissfully silent too. My eyelids grew heavy and the last thing I felt was the soft kiss Jamie placed on my damp nape.
~o~
Now
I must have dozed off on the bed because the chiming of the Floo wakes me up. A short Tempus tells me it’s nearly half past three in the morning. It takes my muddled brain a few seconds to add the numbers. Fuck, something serious must have happened to stretch James’s shift to nearly twenty hours.
“Al?” He sounds worn out and shattered. My heart skips a beat and I nearly run into the living room.
James stands there next to the fireplace as if he doesn’t know what to do with himself. His shoulders are slouched and the light has left his eyes, the brown looking muddy and dull. People must have been seriously injured or died. Yes, I want to know about it, but that’s not the most important thing right now. It only takes me a few strides until I’m enfolding him in my arms.
He hugs me back like there’ll be no morning, his face pressed against the crook of my neck and then he starts shaking. Even though James doesn’t cry or make any noise, it hurts to see him like this. I sway on my feet until we slump together to the ground, my arms still around him, trying to support and secure him.
I whisper soothing nonsense into his hair. It feels like forever until he stops trembling though it has probably been only fifteen minutes.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“There was an explosion in the Mr Mulpepper's Apothecary storage room, which caused half the building and the adjoining houses to collapse towards Knockturn Alley. It’s the end of August, everybody was doing their Hogwarts shopping and…,” his voice breaks.
“Oh, sweet Merlin. Did someone die?”
“An old witch had a heart attack. And the magical EMT couldn’t reach a wizard buried under the debris in time. There were up to forty people with Potion burns, magical side effects and multiple fractures. Around the same amount of victims with less severe injuries. Chief Healer Smethwyck fire-called everyone, even the healers who were on holidays.”
“Were there lots of children injured?”
James shakes his head. “Only a few. Thank Merlin. It was bad enough though. I can only imagine how much worse it must have been for Mum, Dad and everyone who took part in the battle of Hogwarts.”
He falls silent and I don’t even know how to respond to that. I’m still embracing him when I decide it’s time for us to leave the floor before our limbs crick and we take root.
“Jamie, stand up. I’m sure you haven’t eaten in ages. Go and take a shower and I’ll prepare something.”
I usher him to the bathroom, put on the shower and help him undress. He’s still in a muted state when I leave him to it and start to gather some food. There’s chicken broth in the fridge, bread and cheese. I warm up the soup and put a cheese sandwich together, with extra pickles because James loves them.
He emerges at our dinner table in pyjamas, then sits and devours the meal in less than five minutes. I’ve served the soup and sandwich with a big glass jug of water and he nearly empties it before he’s sated.
I observe him the whole time and see the colour returning to his cheeks, and finally a small smile lights up his face. I sigh inaudibly in relief.
“That’s not how you had imagined this night, is it?”
“Don’t be daft. It doesn’t matter how I thought the night would go. You’re here, you’re exhausted from too many healing charms and we’re going to bed now. Come!” I reach for James hand and hoist him off the chair and towards his bedroom.
We slip under the duvet together and his eyes roam about the bedside table where I had put the lube, a few silken scarves, a long climbing rope and a collection of varying suede cords earlier this evening.
“Oh, Al.”
“Stop it, Jamie.”
I kiss him fleetingly on the mouth. He sighs and I pull his body nearer until we’re both comfortably settled. We are facing each other, our shins touching and his hand resting in mine.
“Do we have to set an alarm?”
“No. I’m off shift for twenty-four hours.”
“Good. Let’s sleep.”
When I wake up several hours later, I’m blindfolded, a scarf is slung around my neck and James’s fingers are tracing the soft skin of my filling cock.
“Time to thank you, little brother.”
And he does.
~o~