** Fic: To An End ** for agonyatlas
Title: To An End
Author: slam_girl
Rating: PG
Character(s): Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Elphias Doge
Summary: Albus Dumbldore reflects on moments in his life as he prepares for his end.
Warnings: Mentions of character death
Author's Notes: Much thanks to my beta, and to my friend for making this fic possible! And many thanks to the mods for their patience! Happy reading and holidays!
The air was cold, very cold, even though they were inside. Whenever he exhaled, Albus Dumbledore could faintly see his breath. His friend, Elphias Doge, was rubbing his hands together and bouncing around, trying to keep warm. Cold as it might be, Albus wasn’t about to let a little cold interfere with his mission. He had been planning this all week, waiting patiently for the right night, and trying to convince Elphias to join him. Elphias’s sense of adventure was a bit underdeveloped at times but he always came through in the end like a good mate.
Albus looked up and down the corridor once more, and once he was satisfied that old Parses, the caretaker, was not going to appear as he had a way of randomly popping up, he signaled to Elphias to proceed. They crept down the hall silently, staying close to the wall. There were faint lights flickering at the end of the long corridor but not enough illuminate their way. Albus didn’t want to risk rousing the portraits who would grumble if he used his wand for light. It was late Sunday night so Parses should be in his room as Albus, through careful observation, knew that Parses liked to enjoy a nightcap on Sunday evenings and thus was usually tucked up in bed earlier Sunday nights. But Albus did not want to take any unnecessary risks.
They reached the end of the corridor, Elphias stumbling into him when Albus stopped. "Sorry," Elphias whispered. Albus just shushed him and nudged him toward the right before turning down that hall. From there, they went down a back staircase that was easy to miss if one wasn't paying attention. It wound around until they finally reach the ground floor, then it was short walk from there onto to the Great Hall where his targets were located. The twelve Christmas trees. They had been brought in the other day and were adorned with lots of festive trimmings but Albus had decided some time ago that they could always use a bit more festivity.
"All right, Elphias?" Albus said quietly, looking to his friend to make sure he was ready. They had discussed the plan intensively beforehand several times so Albus didn't forsee any complications. Elphias nodded back. "Good. Let's give this tree a proper trimming then," he replied with a grin.
~~~~
Albus smiled to himself while helping the other professors trim the fresh trees as he remembered the first time he had attempted to trim these trees. His idea of trimming back in his third year at Hogwarts involved transfiguring firecrackers into holly and adding a charm so that they would go off during dinner the next night. It was talked about for weeks afterwards. Albus had been quite proud of his cleverness then, and to be perfectly honest, he still was.
A group of Ravenclaw first-years marveled at the Christmas trees. "Do you think those are real fairies or just magicked to move?" a small boy asked.
"Don't be daft, Eddy, course they're magicked. They must be. They can do anything with magic here," a pig-tailed girl replied confidently.
Ah, to be young and see the world as a place still full of magic. Anything extraordinary could and would happen here. Nothing was outside the realm of possibility. Albus remembered feeling that same excitement here as a young boy, long ago as those years might be now.
One of the things that Albus loved most about Hogwarts was the potential of and the thrill of finding magic around every corner. Not just the sort of magic that was taught but the magic that came from believing that anything was possible, that there were worlds undiscovered at one's fingertips, and all one had to do was reach for them. That was what he had experienced and felt during his early years here at Hogwarts and that's what he wanted every new student, whether coming from a family with a long history of magic or the muggle world, to experience when they entered this school. Each generation of young witches and wizards deserved that bit of magic, no matter how dark the world outside these grounds grew. That darkness had threatened these beloved halls in the past and was threatening them once more but he believed that the kind of magic found here at Hogwarts would triumph. Even if he didn't live to see the day.
Albus moved his injured hand into his pocket. The castle was still a bit cold though perhaps not as cold as that long ago night when he and Elphias had crept around after hours, but then his tolerance for the cold wasn't what it used to be.
~~~~
"Ab, this is still your favorite isn't it?" Albus said, holding out the bottle of whisky he had brought as a gift for his brother. He stood outside of the small robes shop his brother lived above with Aberforth standing on the staircase towering over him and posing as a bit of an overbearing figure. Aberforth just stared at him, expressionless, which was starting to seem worse than the angry words his brother usually reserved for him. "Come on, Aberforth. It's Christmas. And we're still brothers."
"You and me being brothers never seemed to matter in the past, why should it now?" Aberforth replied gruffly.
"You don't really believe that do you?" Albus asked.
"I believe that you're only here cos you reckon you should feel sorry about always putting yourself above even your own family. Cos you have nowhere else to go right now."
Albus wasn't quite sure how to respond to his brother's words. Cold as they were, they weren't entirely untrue. He had realized just how selfish and ridiculous he had been in the past but this painful realization did his brother or him little good. Too much had happened between them. And Albus knew in his heart that Aberforth would never forgive him for Ariana. Albus knew this because he could never forgive himself.
It didn't matter what his intentions had been then, or that he had believed what he was doing was for the greater good. For his family and the hurt and humiliation they had suffered. For Ariana, delicate, quiet Ariana. He'd believed all that but he also believed that he used his family to justify his actions and thoughts in the worst way. On the surface, it was all for them but underneath it was really a way to let his ambition out unhampered by their society's constraints or other people's judgments. He had been angry, bitter, and entitled, ready for what he felt someone as clever and talented as him should be doing with himself. His delusions, his relationship with Gellert-Gellert, the name still made him feel strange, a twinge in chest and then the bitter sting of betrayal-all the clarity he had now certainly didn't change anything.
Ten years had passed since then. His relationship with Aberforth had been tense to say the least. While Albus was not expecting forgiveness from his brother or even to resurrect their relationship, he couldn't go any longer without trying.
Albus sighed. "I'm not here to attempt to ask for your forgiveness. Quite the opposite in fact. I came to this speck of a village where you've tucked yourself away to have a drink with my brother. That's all. And if I still know him at all, even just a bit, he's always had a taste for whisky."
Aberforth stared at him a long while and then turned and started up the stairs to his flat. "No sense in wasting any then. Might as well come in for a bit."
This was the first time in the several years since he had started working at Hogwarts that Albus had left the grounds to spend the holiday with someone. It was nice.
~~~
Filling his glass halfway, Albus took a small sip of the clover wine Aberforth had sent to him recently. This was about as strong a drink as he liked these days. It was something of a tradition for him and Aberforth to send each other a bottle of something nice each year for Christmas ever since the first Christmas that Albus had shown up at his brother's flat with a bottle of whisky as an offering after not seeing each other for nearly ten years. They hadn't quite made up then; in fact, Aberforth had gone a few more years without speaking to him again.
Perhaps they had never really made up. Some hurts went far too deep but they were still brothers, and as such, they had learned to accept the good and bad in each other. Tomorrow perhaps he would make a trip down to the Hog's Head.
With his drink in hand, Albus stood up from his desk and turned to stare at the grounds outside of the castle through windows in his office. He had been looking out these windows for so long that he hadn't ever properly considered the day when he would no longer look out of them. Over the years, the word retirement had popped up from time to time, always from others. Retirement was quite a nice idea and even he liked to get away from here now and then but he hadn't planned on leaving until Hogwarts was good and done with him. Unless of course his mind went first, that was always a possibility. In fact, he knew there those who thought he had gone quite mad some time ago.
Well he might be a bit mad but then who wasn't? Fortunately Albus still had enough of his wits about him. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter too much before long. His time here at Hogwarts was drawing to a close whether he was ready for it or not.
Albus didn't fear the death part and having a timeline let him put his affairs in order so that was helpful. But it also made him realize how much there was left to accomplish and required him to accept that he was going to leave much undone. As heavy as the threat of Voldermort was and as hopeless as the situation might seem to grow, he believed that the fight against the darker forces of their society were being handled by more than capable witches and wizards. His colleagues, the other members of the Order, Harry…oh Harry.
He believed Harry and his friends, Ron and Hermione, quite competent and strong in their convictions, but to say that the journey that lay before them was going to be an arduous one was putting it mildly. He had always struggled with how much to discuss with Harry in the past, wanting Harry to know the truth about himself after years of neglect and lies but also not wanting Harry to feel heavily burdened by what was to come. Albus feared that Harry, the noble spirit that he was, would turn away from those who would be there for him when he needed them most. Albus was going to be leaving Harry earlier than he planned and Harry couldn't know that. But he hoped that Harry wouldn't turn away from those that were still here.
The school-year was flying by, this one even faster than the last. Each year always faster than the last. The students would be arriving back from their winter holiday tomorrow. He had only just arrived from the task that had consumed much of his holiday this year and he probably would be venturing out soon again. As his time was drawing to a close, he found himself wanting to spend in more time at Hogwarts, his home, but finding himself able to spend less time here than he would like. Such as these things went.
~~~
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."
He had spoken those words to Harry only hours earlier when he came upon Harry standing transfixed in front of the Mirror of Erised. Albus himself had stood transfixed in front of the mirror more than once so he understood the desire. But not much could be gained from standing still for too long so he had hoped that he'd impressed upon Harry the importance of always moving forward. There was certainly value in looking to the past and in pausing to reflect but the only change was in venturing forth into the unknown.
As Albus stared into the mirror and saw his family, whole and at peace, staring back at him, he quite understood the lure of the mirror. One last time. He and Minerva were going to move it very soon to another location within the school. And hopefully that would be the last anybody would see of it for some time especially since it was concealing a much desired artifact. Although he suspected it would play a part in events that were already in motion before long. Things concealed never seemed to stay that way for very long.
So much had been concealed for so long now but he could see the unraveling of things to come. No one here at Hogwarts would be left untouched. Albus knew he must do whatever necessary to oppose Voldemort when the time arose but he wondered if he might be nearing the end of his part in this war. He had fought this battle before and he would see his part out but in the end, the final act would not lie with him. All he could really do was try to help those who would see this one to the end as best as he could.
He heard the door open and someone slip into the room. "Good morning, Minerva," he said, cheerfully.
"Good morning, Albus."
He felt a hand on his arm. "Ready Albus?"
He was a silent for a moment and then covered her hand with his own. "I am."
Author: slam_girl
Rating: PG
Character(s): Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Elphias Doge
Summary: Albus Dumbldore reflects on moments in his life as he prepares for his end.
Warnings: Mentions of character death
Author's Notes: Much thanks to my beta, and to my friend for making this fic possible! And many thanks to the mods for their patience! Happy reading and holidays!
The air was cold, very cold, even though they were inside. Whenever he exhaled, Albus Dumbledore could faintly see his breath. His friend, Elphias Doge, was rubbing his hands together and bouncing around, trying to keep warm. Cold as it might be, Albus wasn’t about to let a little cold interfere with his mission. He had been planning this all week, waiting patiently for the right night, and trying to convince Elphias to join him. Elphias’s sense of adventure was a bit underdeveloped at times but he always came through in the end like a good mate.
Albus looked up and down the corridor once more, and once he was satisfied that old Parses, the caretaker, was not going to appear as he had a way of randomly popping up, he signaled to Elphias to proceed. They crept down the hall silently, staying close to the wall. There were faint lights flickering at the end of the long corridor but not enough illuminate their way. Albus didn’t want to risk rousing the portraits who would grumble if he used his wand for light. It was late Sunday night so Parses should be in his room as Albus, through careful observation, knew that Parses liked to enjoy a nightcap on Sunday evenings and thus was usually tucked up in bed earlier Sunday nights. But Albus did not want to take any unnecessary risks.
They reached the end of the corridor, Elphias stumbling into him when Albus stopped. "Sorry," Elphias whispered. Albus just shushed him and nudged him toward the right before turning down that hall. From there, they went down a back staircase that was easy to miss if one wasn't paying attention. It wound around until they finally reach the ground floor, then it was short walk from there onto to the Great Hall where his targets were located. The twelve Christmas trees. They had been brought in the other day and were adorned with lots of festive trimmings but Albus had decided some time ago that they could always use a bit more festivity.
"All right, Elphias?" Albus said quietly, looking to his friend to make sure he was ready. They had discussed the plan intensively beforehand several times so Albus didn't forsee any complications. Elphias nodded back. "Good. Let's give this tree a proper trimming then," he replied with a grin.
~~~~
Albus smiled to himself while helping the other professors trim the fresh trees as he remembered the first time he had attempted to trim these trees. His idea of trimming back in his third year at Hogwarts involved transfiguring firecrackers into holly and adding a charm so that they would go off during dinner the next night. It was talked about for weeks afterwards. Albus had been quite proud of his cleverness then, and to be perfectly honest, he still was.
A group of Ravenclaw first-years marveled at the Christmas trees. "Do you think those are real fairies or just magicked to move?" a small boy asked.
"Don't be daft, Eddy, course they're magicked. They must be. They can do anything with magic here," a pig-tailed girl replied confidently.
Ah, to be young and see the world as a place still full of magic. Anything extraordinary could and would happen here. Nothing was outside the realm of possibility. Albus remembered feeling that same excitement here as a young boy, long ago as those years might be now.
One of the things that Albus loved most about Hogwarts was the potential of and the thrill of finding magic around every corner. Not just the sort of magic that was taught but the magic that came from believing that anything was possible, that there were worlds undiscovered at one's fingertips, and all one had to do was reach for them. That was what he had experienced and felt during his early years here at Hogwarts and that's what he wanted every new student, whether coming from a family with a long history of magic or the muggle world, to experience when they entered this school. Each generation of young witches and wizards deserved that bit of magic, no matter how dark the world outside these grounds grew. That darkness had threatened these beloved halls in the past and was threatening them once more but he believed that the kind of magic found here at Hogwarts would triumph. Even if he didn't live to see the day.
Albus moved his injured hand into his pocket. The castle was still a bit cold though perhaps not as cold as that long ago night when he and Elphias had crept around after hours, but then his tolerance for the cold wasn't what it used to be.
~~~~
"Ab, this is still your favorite isn't it?" Albus said, holding out the bottle of whisky he had brought as a gift for his brother. He stood outside of the small robes shop his brother lived above with Aberforth standing on the staircase towering over him and posing as a bit of an overbearing figure. Aberforth just stared at him, expressionless, which was starting to seem worse than the angry words his brother usually reserved for him. "Come on, Aberforth. It's Christmas. And we're still brothers."
"You and me being brothers never seemed to matter in the past, why should it now?" Aberforth replied gruffly.
"You don't really believe that do you?" Albus asked.
"I believe that you're only here cos you reckon you should feel sorry about always putting yourself above even your own family. Cos you have nowhere else to go right now."
Albus wasn't quite sure how to respond to his brother's words. Cold as they were, they weren't entirely untrue. He had realized just how selfish and ridiculous he had been in the past but this painful realization did his brother or him little good. Too much had happened between them. And Albus knew in his heart that Aberforth would never forgive him for Ariana. Albus knew this because he could never forgive himself.
It didn't matter what his intentions had been then, or that he had believed what he was doing was for the greater good. For his family and the hurt and humiliation they had suffered. For Ariana, delicate, quiet Ariana. He'd believed all that but he also believed that he used his family to justify his actions and thoughts in the worst way. On the surface, it was all for them but underneath it was really a way to let his ambition out unhampered by their society's constraints or other people's judgments. He had been angry, bitter, and entitled, ready for what he felt someone as clever and talented as him should be doing with himself. His delusions, his relationship with Gellert-Gellert, the name still made him feel strange, a twinge in chest and then the bitter sting of betrayal-all the clarity he had now certainly didn't change anything.
Ten years had passed since then. His relationship with Aberforth had been tense to say the least. While Albus was not expecting forgiveness from his brother or even to resurrect their relationship, he couldn't go any longer without trying.
Albus sighed. "I'm not here to attempt to ask for your forgiveness. Quite the opposite in fact. I came to this speck of a village where you've tucked yourself away to have a drink with my brother. That's all. And if I still know him at all, even just a bit, he's always had a taste for whisky."
Aberforth stared at him a long while and then turned and started up the stairs to his flat. "No sense in wasting any then. Might as well come in for a bit."
This was the first time in the several years since he had started working at Hogwarts that Albus had left the grounds to spend the holiday with someone. It was nice.
~~~
Filling his glass halfway, Albus took a small sip of the clover wine Aberforth had sent to him recently. This was about as strong a drink as he liked these days. It was something of a tradition for him and Aberforth to send each other a bottle of something nice each year for Christmas ever since the first Christmas that Albus had shown up at his brother's flat with a bottle of whisky as an offering after not seeing each other for nearly ten years. They hadn't quite made up then; in fact, Aberforth had gone a few more years without speaking to him again.
Perhaps they had never really made up. Some hurts went far too deep but they were still brothers, and as such, they had learned to accept the good and bad in each other. Tomorrow perhaps he would make a trip down to the Hog's Head.
With his drink in hand, Albus stood up from his desk and turned to stare at the grounds outside of the castle through windows in his office. He had been looking out these windows for so long that he hadn't ever properly considered the day when he would no longer look out of them. Over the years, the word retirement had popped up from time to time, always from others. Retirement was quite a nice idea and even he liked to get away from here now and then but he hadn't planned on leaving until Hogwarts was good and done with him. Unless of course his mind went first, that was always a possibility. In fact, he knew there those who thought he had gone quite mad some time ago.
Well he might be a bit mad but then who wasn't? Fortunately Albus still had enough of his wits about him. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter too much before long. His time here at Hogwarts was drawing to a close whether he was ready for it or not.
Albus didn't fear the death part and having a timeline let him put his affairs in order so that was helpful. But it also made him realize how much there was left to accomplish and required him to accept that he was going to leave much undone. As heavy as the threat of Voldermort was and as hopeless as the situation might seem to grow, he believed that the fight against the darker forces of their society were being handled by more than capable witches and wizards. His colleagues, the other members of the Order, Harry…oh Harry.
He believed Harry and his friends, Ron and Hermione, quite competent and strong in their convictions, but to say that the journey that lay before them was going to be an arduous one was putting it mildly. He had always struggled with how much to discuss with Harry in the past, wanting Harry to know the truth about himself after years of neglect and lies but also not wanting Harry to feel heavily burdened by what was to come. Albus feared that Harry, the noble spirit that he was, would turn away from those who would be there for him when he needed them most. Albus was going to be leaving Harry earlier than he planned and Harry couldn't know that. But he hoped that Harry wouldn't turn away from those that were still here.
The school-year was flying by, this one even faster than the last. Each year always faster than the last. The students would be arriving back from their winter holiday tomorrow. He had only just arrived from the task that had consumed much of his holiday this year and he probably would be venturing out soon again. As his time was drawing to a close, he found himself wanting to spend in more time at Hogwarts, his home, but finding himself able to spend less time here than he would like. Such as these things went.
~~~
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."
He had spoken those words to Harry only hours earlier when he came upon Harry standing transfixed in front of the Mirror of Erised. Albus himself had stood transfixed in front of the mirror more than once so he understood the desire. But not much could be gained from standing still for too long so he had hoped that he'd impressed upon Harry the importance of always moving forward. There was certainly value in looking to the past and in pausing to reflect but the only change was in venturing forth into the unknown.
As Albus stared into the mirror and saw his family, whole and at peace, staring back at him, he quite understood the lure of the mirror. One last time. He and Minerva were going to move it very soon to another location within the school. And hopefully that would be the last anybody would see of it for some time especially since it was concealing a much desired artifact. Although he suspected it would play a part in events that were already in motion before long. Things concealed never seemed to stay that way for very long.
So much had been concealed for so long now but he could see the unraveling of things to come. No one here at Hogwarts would be left untouched. Albus knew he must do whatever necessary to oppose Voldemort when the time arose but he wondered if he might be nearing the end of his part in this war. He had fought this battle before and he would see his part out but in the end, the final act would not lie with him. All he could really do was try to help those who would see this one to the end as best as he could.
He heard the door open and someone slip into the room. "Good morning, Minerva," he said, cheerfully.
"Good morning, Albus."
He felt a hand on his arm. "Ready Albus?"
He was a silent for a moment and then covered her hand with his own. "I am."