FIC: Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams [Harry/Draco, Harry/Severus - NC-17]
Author: Anonymous
Title: Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Draco, Harry/Severus
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Word Count: ~7,000
Prompt: #119: Draco/Harry, Harry/Someone else (Doesn't matter who).
Does he watch your favorite movies? / Does he hold you when you cry? / Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts / When you've seen it a million times? / Does he sing to all your music / While you dance to Purple Rain? / Does he do all these things / Like I used to? (submitted by freakingcrups)
Notes: Thank you very much indeed to S. for the beta and V. for the read through and support.
Draco felt sick. He felt sick rather a lot these days, since Harry had left. It was coming up to Christmas and he was trying to do his shopping in Hogsmeade although he didn’t really have that many people left to buy gifts for - not anyone that mattered in any event. He gently fingered a small toy crup thinking about how different things might have been if Harry was still with him. He remembered what it had been like last Christmas.
”You’re not going to make me wear that bloody thing, Potter - it’s going to ruin my hair!”
“But it looks so good on you Draco,” Harry was laughing at the Santa’s hat perched at a lopsided angle on Draco’s head and his eyes got that intense look they sometimes got when he wanted to pounce on Draco and kiss him like no one was watching, “It’s sexy…”
“Oh?” Draco had cocked his head to the side looking thoughtful, “Have a Santa kink, do you Potter?”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Harry had laughed and swung his arms around Draco, planting a huge wet kiss on his lips, “I have a Santa-Draco kink.”
“Of course you do,” Draco had smirked and steadied the kiss, diving in to sample a sweet tasting spot on Harry’s neck which he knew would drive his boyfriend to distraction. “Have you been a very good boy, Harry?”
“Oh no,” Harry breathed when Draco released his lips and smiled again that broad, genuine Gryffindor smile, “I’ve been very naughty.”
“Somehow Harry I find that rather difficult to believe,” Draco laughed and kissed his boyfriend again, “Come on, let’s go and find you an elf’s costume and if you’re very good you get to play Santa’s little helper later.”
“Pervert,” Harry laughed as Draco grabbed his hand pulling him out of the shop and into the snow.
“You’re the one with the Santa kink, Potter!”
“Santa-Draco kink love, only ever Santa-Draco.”
“If I find anything cute and fluffy under my Christmas tree you impossible brat, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
Draco stilled at the sound of the familiar silky drawl and ducked behind the shelves as Severus Snape walked into view. He pressed back into the shadows, watching as Snape circled the pile of stuffed toys with disdain looking as though he would rather like to hex something. The man hadn’t really seemed to age much since Hogwarts, if anything he looked younger and more carefree without his robes, dressed in a black wool jumper and tight black jeans.
“Not even one small crup, Severus?”
Draco knew that Harry would be with him of course, the fact that Harry Potter had chosen yet another former Death Eater as his latest paramour had created something of a stir in the wizarding press. Draco had spent many hours in the last few months staring at pictures of Snape and Harry, wondering what his light-hearted happy ex-boyfriend could get from a man who always scowled so much. This was the first time he had seen them together however and he thought his heart might shatter into a thousand pieces from the sight of it.
“Especially not a crup.”
Snape scowled down at Harry who grinned up at him as he leant back against the huge pile of stuffed toys his legs casually crossed. Draco could see both of them from their side profiles; Harry leaning casually back smiling broadly as Severus glared down at him.
Then - oh gods - Severus was reaching down to touch Harry’s face, his hand large against Harry’s cheeks as Harry nuzzled into the touch. Harry raised his arms to hook them around Snape’s neck and he turned his face up for a kiss which he was granted immediately. The kiss was so heartbreakingly full of passion Draco thought his legs might give way beneath him from the very sight of it. To watch Harry - his Harry - letting out the little whimper that he made when someone kissed him just right was bad enough but to see his hands move from Snape’s neck to bunch in the man’s jumper and pull him closer into the kiss made Draco’s heart ache from the sight of it.
”Why do you always do that, Harry - yank on my clothes like that?”
“What do you mean?” Harry looked confused for a moment, his eyes hooded and his lips plump from being thoroughly kissed. He looked down at his hands fisting in Draco’s shirt, clutching for dear life, “Oh, this?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know,” Harry laughed, “It’s kind of like I can’t be close enough…Merlin, Draco it’s like I want to fucking crawl inside you when we kiss - I suppose I can get a little grabby.”
“I’m not complaining Potter,” Draco kissed Harry again and rested his hands over Harry’s which were still bunched into cotton-full fists, “Not complaining at all.”
“Potter, I warn you I am about to create a scene right here in the middle of this pile of stuffed toys.”
Severus was speaking with a low, deep sort of growl as he pulled back from his kiss with Harry, running his hands down Harry’s sides. Draco marvelled over how small Harry looked next to Severus and he wondered if Harry liked that Severus was so much taller. Harry had always said that he and Draco were the perfect fit.
Draco watched as Harry laughed standing back upright and leaning away from the toys.
“Let’s get out of here then - do you want to go for a pint or something?”
Severus shrugged and placed one hand gently on Harry’s shoulders steering him away, “Very well Potter, but if you get drunk I shall make no apologies for taking every advantage.”
Draco wasn’t sure why he was being such a masochist but something in his foolish heart told him he should follow Harry and Snape. He sat outside the Leaky Cauldron as the snow fell gently, barely feeling the cold on his hands as he waited for the couple to emerge. He remembered the last time he had been in the Leaky Cauldron with Harry, just before Harry had left.
”What’s up Draco? Merlin you look serious.”
“I’m just not sure I’m happy anymore, Harry.”
“What?” Harry sat down quickly, as if someone had kicked his legs from beneath him.
“I just…I’m young Harry, we’re both so young. Don’t you think we should see a bit of the world, a bit of other people before we settle down?”
“You’re joking?”
“No…”
“You can’t - Why the hell would I want anyone else, Draco? Do you want someone else? Oh gods, have you met someone else?”
“No Harry - no - I would never do that to you…I just need time - to be sure…” Even then, Draco wasn’t sure why he was doing this when Harry was looking at him like he was going to break into pieces before his eyes.
“Draco I love you - please don’t do this love…you’re not really doing this are you?”
Harry’s eyes so very green and wide were pleading with him, hoping Draco would start laughing and say it was all a silly joke. When it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen Harry stood quickly and stumbled out of the Leaky Cauldron walking as though he had drunk ten pints when he hadn’t even taken a sip from his drink.
Draco still didn’t know why he had been so utterly foolish. At the time he had somehow felt that Harry was too much, too needy. Now that nobody needed Draco he was beginning to realise that Harry was really the only thing he had ever wanted.
Draco remembered that Severus had been involved, even back then. Of all the people Harry could have gone to Draco had never imagined that Harry would go to Snape - he would have thought Weasley or Granger - anyone but Severus.
Severus had been so very furious with Draco.
”Draco, you fool what the hell have you done?” Severus’ dark eyes were flashing with anger as Draco stood in the doorway to the Manor still in his pyjamas feeling sick because Harry wasn’t there.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what have you done to Potter who is - as we speak - sleeping off a hangover on my sofa after crying himself to sleep.”
“Why the hell did he go to you?”
“I’m damned if I know Draco - he was so drunk I doubt he really knew what he was doing. As abhorrent as I may find Potter it appears he thinks I am the only person lonely enough to understand him. I am also the only person in the boy’s life who really knows you, Draco which is why I find myself here trying to understand what foolish reasoning led to this sorry state of affairs.”
If it hadn’t been so bloody heart breaking Draco would have had to laugh at Severus, the world’s most reluctant relationship counsellor, “Harry’s in pain?”
“Of course he is you imbecile - I have never seen Potter this broken before. If this was some sort of revenge for the past you should congratulate yourself on a job very well done.”
“No! Severus no - you know it’s not…” Draco was starting to feel very sick indeed thinking about Harry curled up in the foetal position on Snape’s couch, crying and trying to find some warmth. “We broke up…”
“Thank you Malfoy, I gathered that much. What I need to know from you is why? I thought you were love’s young dream?”
“I just thought we were too young…I needed to be sure…”
“I have never heard anything so ridiculous in all of my life,” Severus waited for Draco to continue nonetheless his arms crossed and scowling at Draco.
“I know - but it’s going to be fine because I’m sure now Severus - we can work it out I’ll tell him I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
Severus hoisted Draco towards him with a large hand fisting in his pyjamas until they were nose to nose.
“You stupid, reckless child! You have completely broken the boy’s heart - you left him Draco, made him feel unwanted in the worst possible way…did you even consider for one moment what that might do to a man with Harry’s history?!” Severus released Draco and pushed him back, his anger palpable.
“Oh gods, he will take me back won’t he?” Severus stood silent with his arms folded, an implacable stone façade as he continued to glare at Draco - “Severus? It will be ok, won’t it?”
Severus had stared at Draco and then turned away.
“You fool. You will regret this for the rest of your life.”
Harry and Snape eventually came out of the Leaky Cauldron and trying to become as inconspicuous as possible, Draco followed behind them in the shadows. Harry was laughing and holding his head back into the snow, almost skipping in it as he kept threatening to throw snow balls at Severus. In turn Severus would call Harry a brat or an imp or a foolish child, but his tone held nothing but affection for Harry.
Draco followed them all the way to a little cottage and saw them go inside. He couldn’t help but move closer to the window, whispering a spell so that he could hear the conversation going on inside the house.
“Merlin, I’m knackered.” Harry collapsed onto the sofa next to Snape and stretched stocking clad feet out so they rested in Snape’s lap. Draco was surprised by the familiar intimacy as Snape gently began to massage Harry’s feet without protest.
“Just how tired would you say you are, Potter?”
Severus continued to massage Harry’s feet, smirking at him as a one of the hands which had been working around the balls of Harry’s left foot began to move up his calf.
“Perhaps I’m not all that tired after all.” Harry sat upright and then was arranging himself so that he was straddling Snape, sitting in his lap and leaning in for a kiss.
“I’ve been thinking about certain…things lately.”
“Oh?” Harry looked worried and pulled back from their kiss. Draco hated the look on his face. It was he, Draco, that had made Harry lose his innocent trust in relationships. The look on Harry’s face was heart breaking, as if he expected Severus to announce he was leaving him, just as Draco had done.
“Ssssh, brat,” Severus brushed Harry’s hair from his forehead obviously realising exactly what Harry was thinking. “Nothing to worry about,” Snape gave Harry a kiss and then leant back with a sigh, his hands absentmindedly stroking down Harry’s back. “I find myself thinking about Draco.”
“Draco?!”
Hearing his name spoken twice in quick succession made Draco shrink back into the shadows as he tried to catch his breath hoping he hadn’t been caught out. When he had assured himself that no one had any inkling he was there, he moved back to the window as the conversation continued. Harry was on his feet now pacing in front of Severus, running his hand through his hair which always meant he was nervous about something.
“He has no one left…he’s my godson…” Severus looked as though he was trying to couch his words very carefully indeed as Harry continued pacing.
“He has people.”
“Who, Harry? I am not sure he really had anyone but us in his life and your friends of course, who obviously don’t choose to spend time with him anymore.”
“You can’t say you blame them for that?”
“No, Potter - you misunderstand,” Severus sighed looking pained, “I would simply like for him to be free to visit me if he chooses.”
“I don’t like to think of him being alone…” Harry’s hand reached up again in an unconscious movement, brushing his hair back.
“No.” Severus watched Harry steadily.
“What do you suggest?” Harry was frowning at Severus now, his hand still raking through his hair. “This isn’t going to be easy for me you know - sitting around the dinner table and just…forgetting.”
“I see.” Severus steeped his fingers and watched Harry closely. “Should I be concerned?”
“Do you need me to answer that?” Harry looked at Severus quickly, a half smile quirking his lips the soft, affectionate look making Draco feel breathless all over again.
Severus simply shrugged and looked away from Harry. “I made a vow to Narcissa once, I killed for Draco and I nearly died for him myself. This needs to be resolved.”
“Hey…” Harry had stopped pacing and was watching Severus look at his hands which were twisted in his lap. “You’re worried.”
“I’m not worried Potter,” Snape scowled and then shook his head. “If you choose to leave me for a younger man who is infinitely more handsome than I then I can hardly blame you.” Severus trailed off still glaring at his hands.
“Severus, you know better than anyone that it was completely shit when Draco finished it - I was a total wreck. I didn’t think I would ever get over him…I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t love him because I really bloody did you know? I loved him with everything I had.” Harry sighed and Draco was holding his breath now, his nose almost pushed up against the window waiting to hear what Harry had to say.
“I know, Potter.”
“But you see Severus, I’m not sure you really do…” Harry looked closely at Snape before resuming his position in the man’s lap, straddling him as he ran his hands through Snape’s hair and trailed just two fingers down the contour of his face looking slightly awestruck. “All that time…”
“Potter, don’t…” Snape was staring at Harry and Harry was speaking so softly Draco had to strain to hear the words.
“All that time you were there for me. You risked your life on countless occasions and suffered torture at the hands of a madman to keep me safe.”
Severus snorted, “You needed a lot of saving, Potter you reckless little fool.”
“And you had to be the one doing the saving didn’t you?” Harry laughed and pressed his lips to Snape’s mouth, moaning softly into the kiss which quickly became rough and forceful as Snape pressed him back into the sofa.
“You need saving from yourself sometimes, Potter.”
“I understand why you did it all you know. I won’t ever forget and as awful as everything was I’m glad it happened now because otherwise I would never have known…”
“Known what, you foolish imp?”
“That you love me…that you always did…that you won’t ever stop keeping me safe.” Harry kissed Severus again before he could respond and Severus was reaching down between them and - oh gods he was unbuckling Harry’s belt and Harry was arching up into the touch.
“You’re daft as a brush Potter, you do know I find romantic notions horribly sickening?”
“Oh yes!” Harry thrust up into Severus’ hand and laughed at that. “You don’t usually let me get that far though you usually stop me long before I can get to the really good stuff.”
“How remiss of me…” Snape was definitely smirking as he bent down to kiss Harry again, pushing his hands under Harry’s t-shirt and pinning him very effectively to the sofa. “Did you say something about the good stuff, Potter?”
“Oh yes…” Harry breathed out into another hard kiss and Draco thought he saw Severus’ eyes flick up to the window just for one moment but he must have been imagining it. He knew he should leave. Of all the things he had been expecting to see or had wanted to see he definitely didn’t want to see what was about to happen. For some reason though Draco couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Harry being undressed before his eyes, arching into a hand which had disappeared between the two bodies and out of Draco’s eye line although from the movements Harry was making and the whimpers coming from his wet, parted lips, Draco thought he could probably guess exactly what Severus was doing.
“What do you want?” Draco had never heard that voice from Severus before - a deep, low growl full of barely contained passion as he kissed down Harry’s neck and bit lightly on his exposed collarbone.
“Fuck!” Harry laughed suddenly into the kiss his back arching again and the laugh turning quickly into a yelp as Severus thrust his hand and bit harder, “That please.”
“Fuck?”
“Yes, now Severus.”
Snape was undoing his trousers with one hand and Harry was groaning as the other continued doing whatever the hell it was doing between them.
“Impatient, brat?”
“Yes, fuck yes - don’t bother with the bloody jumper for Merlin’s sake, just get on with it!”
“Talk about topping from the bottom, Potter.” Severus smirked at Harry and then had obviously done exactly what Harry had been begging for as legs were quickly rearranged and Harry let out a loud moan of pleasure.
“So fucking good Severus.”
Draco finally moved away from the window although he could still hear the sounds from inside the cottage. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Harry had always taken charge with Draco although they tried everything of course. He was always the brave Gryffindor taking Draco hard and fast until Draco would keen and writhe, opening up completely to Harry. To see Harry so lost underneath someone else, begging and pleading and so wonderfully desperate in his pleasure was something Draco had never seen. He had seen Harry come so hard he had almost fainted and he had been fucked by Harry all weekend - all bloody week sometimes - in every position under the sun.
The music in the club was loud and sweaty bodies writhed together on the dance floor. Draco was sipping a pink cocktail and watching Harry, the very picture of innocence, as Harry advanced towards him scowling.
”You’re a bloody brat, Malfoy!”
“No Potter, not me?” Draco feigned innocence but he knew he was in trouble. Oh boy, did he ever love being in trouble.
“Get outside now Draco and wait for me round the back. If you aren’t standing there in less than five minutes with your feet apart ready to receive the hardest fucking of your life I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Oh!”
Draco hadn’t needed telling twice.
“I love it when you do that.”
“Hmmm?”
“That…thing…” Harry paused and appeared to be speaking in actual words now instead of incoherent babbles. Draco moved back to the window to see Harry back on Snape’s lap, completely naked while Snape was almost entirely fully clothed if not a little rumpled. Harry was holding Snape’s hand in his own, stroking the outline of the long, thin fingers with the tips of his own fingers.
“Oh…” Snape was watching Harry trace around his fingers with a smirk. “That thing.” He removed his hand from Harry’s own and traced it lightly down Harry’s spine as Harry shivered into the touch with a whimper. “You could have let me take my clothes off Potter…it doesn’t seem very fair for you to be so naked and vulnerable.” Snape’s hands continued tracing down to the curve of Harry’s backside and although Draco couldn’t see Snape’s face which was currently buried in Harry’s neck, he could hear the smirk in the man’s voice.
“Plenty of time for that Severus,” Harry laughed and wiggled in Severus’ lap, ““Dance with me?” Harry hopped off Snape’s lap and was pulling on his jeans leaving his t-shirt still crumpled on the floor.
“Don’t be so foolish Potter, I don’t dance.”
“Oh but I know that’s not true.” Harry was already hauling a reluctant Severus to his feet and waving his hand, as his wand began to play one of Harry’s favourite Muggle songs. When Harry and Draco used to dance they had been in clubs together, sweaty and grinding, laughing and grasping at one another until they had to apparate home or find somewhere half discrete to pull at one another’s clothes until they were sucking or fucking hard and fast, groaning into each other.
Severus and Harry danced very differently. The music was much softer and they barely moved, Harry resting his head on Snape’s chest and Snape’s palm in the small of Harry’s back, the other hand stroking softly at Harry’s hair, petting it gently into some sort of style.
“Are you happy?” Harry had moved his head back to look into Severus’ eyes which were dark and fixed completely on Harry.
“Do shut up, Potter.”
Severus kissed Harry then, the kind of kiss that made Draco want to weep with the truth of it.
He had seen enough and turned into the shadows once more, casting one glance back over his shoulder to see the two figures silhouetted in the window, heads bowed together.
~
Draco opened the door to find Severus standing in the archway. He hadn’t been able to get the damn images of Harry out of his mind last night and seeing Severus now, fully clothed and imposing as ever in his full robes was like another bolt to his heart. His first thought - Harry.
“Severus? Is Harry-”
“Harry is fine Draco.”
“Well come in then. Do you want a drink?”
“This isn’t a social call, Draco - I want to know why you were at my house last night.”
“What?” Of all the things Draco had thought Snape might say he hadn’t been expecting that. He felt a fierce heat in his cheeks and he had to turn away from Severus.
“Did you really imagine that with my history I wouldn’t have magical wards set up to protect myself from former Death Eaters peering through my window at night?”
“Oh…”
“Yes, oh - well, did you see everything you needed?”
“You wanted me to see that.” Draco could feel his face turn red as Snape continued to stare at him, not moving.
“I did not ask for you to intrude on our privacy Draco that was your choice alone.”
“You bastard - you wanted me to see you and Harry do…for fucks sake Severus, does Harry know I was watching?” Draco could feel a ball of rage coil in his stomach as Severus continued to watch him without moving.
“You haven’t answered my question yet Draco, what were you doing there?”
“I don’t know.” Draco slumped against the wall suddenly feeling so very tired.
“You’re in love with him still I imagine?”
“Yes.”
“I see.” Snape continued to watch as Draco slumped further into the wall. He had never felt like more of a child, more foolish than he did now. He hated himself for letting out an involuntary broken sob.
“Merlin I fucking hate you right now, Severus, I hate you.” With balled up fists Draco swung at Snape his pain and anger all colliding together at once as he took in the man standing so implacably in his hallway. His wrists were quickly captured by Snape as he struggled to free himself.
“Yes Draco, I’m rather sure you do.” Severus sighed and released Draco’s hands which flopped uselessly to his sides.
“You always liked him didn’t you? All of this bloody time when you used to come round here and pretend to hate him - even then - even when we were together?” Draco’s voice had lost some of its earlier fire and he realised it now sounded very small and sad.
“That’s absolutely none of your business.” Snape’s refusal to answer told Draco all he needed to know.
“Since Hogwarts? Fuck, Severus you probably liked him back when he was just a kid!”
Draco knew he had overstepped the mark as flashing black eyes met his own and he hated himself for cowering a little.
“I have heard quite enough! You are in this position because you Draco took Potter to a bloody pub of all places and decided to break his heart because you had a foolish whim that he might not be enough for you.” Snape advanced closer to Draco, spitting out his words. “You told him to meet someone else, Draco - you can hardly blame him for doing so.”
“It would have to be you Severus, you miserable git.”
“I can assure you Draco that given our previous history I can only express my utmost shock at the fact that Potter decided to drunkenly descend on my door for tea and sympathy.”
“I still don’t know why he did that,” Draco muttered.
“Because I was close to you and even after everything it was better to be with someone close to you than someone who never really knew you like Weasley and Granger.”
“And I suppose you took every advantage of that cosy little set up?” Draco sneered at Severus who scowled back at him.
“You must know I would never have pursued anything with the boy?”
“Because he’s bloody gorgeous and you didn’t think you would stand a chance with him you miserable bastard.”
“Yes.”
Draco looked up at this to see if Severus was joking or teasing him but he looked completely serious.
“Oh…so he pursued you?”
“Draco…” Severus sighed and looked to the ceiling, “That isn’t my story to tell. You need to speak to Harry, you do know that?”
“I doubt he’s really all that interested in speaking to me anymore.”
“Just…stop staring through windows. Come inside.”
“Oh wonderful,” Draco bestowed Severus with his very best Malfoy-glare, “I can’t imagine anything more entertaining than an evening watching the two of you fawn all over each other.”
“Malfoy, when have you ever known me to fawn?” Severus quirked his eyebrow and frowned at Draco, his arms folded. Clearly he wasn’t going to leave until he had an answer.
“I’ll come - when?”
“Good. Friday at seven and don’t be late.”
Snape turned to leave when Draco grabbed his arm and spun Severus around knowing that what he needed to say couldn’t be said couldn’t be said in front of Harry.
“This isn’t going to be…easy for me.”
“No, I imagine not.” Snape’s steady black eyes fixed on Draco and he felt as he had when he had been a Death Eater - so very small and lost. He wanted Harry to snuggle up to him.
”What was it like…being a Death Eater?”
“It was horrible,” Draco had confessed watching Harry with wide eyes as Harry looked at him intently and seriously, raking a hand through his hair. They were lying in bed together face to face, feet tangled together under the duvets and Harry reached out now to smooth a little of Draco’s hair from his forehead.
“I’m sorry for that, love.”
“I’m sorry too…for them - for my father.”
“Yes. Ssssh, don’t get upset.” Draco hadn’t even realised he had been crying until Harry had swept a tear from his cheek with a rough thumb. The thumb moved down Draco’s face and swept gently over his lips. Draco parted his lips slightly then with a grin took the thumb into his mouth suggestively.
“Draco…” Harry breathed, giving him that intense green stare.
“Yes Harry?” Draco released the thumb and shuffled closer to Harry so that he could feel the boy’s warmth.
“Love you Draco.”
“Love you too, Potter.” Draco took Harry’s lips in his mouth and kissed him softly, moaning when Harry rolled him back and pinned him down with the weight of his body.
“Want to shag?” Harry was grinning now and Draco laughed thrusting his hips up towards Harry.
“Oh get on with it Potter.”
So Harry had.
“I knew him, Severus - we shared everything - fuck!”
Snape was watching him carefully as Draco could feel himself collapse, his proud bloody Malfoy façade crumbling with the tears that began to fall, feeling like a snotty five year old as Severus handed him a handkerchief.
”Why are you watching that film again, Harry?”
“It makes me smile. Plus Colin Firth is kind of hot.”
Draco walked over to the sofa and sat down in front of Harry parting his knees and settling in between them softly sweeping Harry’s shaggy hair to one side. “I did rather hope you preferred blondes.”
“Certain blondes do hold some appeal.” Harry laughed and ran his hand through Draco’s hair, pulling him up into his lap and kissing him breathless.
“Hang on,” Draco tilted his head to one side. “Nice boys don’t kiss like that.”
It was Harry’s favourite line from the film and he laughed with delight, turning his head to kiss Draco again.
“Yes they fucking do.”
“And you imagine we don’t share anything I suppose?”
“I bet you don’t watch films together Severus, he loves-”
“-I know - romantic drivel with a happy ending.” Severus looked quite ill at the thought.
“I wouldn’t have thought you one for romantic comedies Severus,” Draco hated the thought of his Harry snuggled up on the sofa with Severus, his feet tucked underneath him as he watched one of his ridiculous films. He wondered if Severus could quote lines from Bridget Jones’ Diary. Draco bet he couldn’t.
“I watch them because they make him laugh, Draco.” Severus was looking closely at Draco as he sniffled, cursing himself for his reactions.
“You know he has nightmares?”
“Yes.”
“And it makes him feel better if you-”
“Yes. Thank you Draco, I am aware.”
“I don’t want him to be sad…I hate the thought of him being sad.”
“He won’t be.” Severus turned before leaving, “I understand this is difficult for you Draco. I am not a demonstrative man or one for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but he will be happy. I will do everything in my power to make sure of that.”
“I just want…”
“I understand.”
The door opened, closed and Severus was gone, leaving Draco to stare at the fireplace.
~
“I don’t want to intrude…”
It was Friday night, seven o’clock sharp and Draco paused in the doorway to Snape’s cottage. The food smelt delicious.
“You’re not intruding.” Not tonight at least, Draco thought. He wanted to ask if Snape intended to put on another sex show for him but he thought that probably wouldn’t go down very well and one thing Draco did have was impeccable manners.
Although Draco knew Harry and Severus had a home - a life together - he had seen that much through the windows after all, being inside made him ache as he basked in the warmth of the small cottage.
He took in the boots by the door, Harry’s Quidditch boots and Severus’ own black leather boots with silver buckles, resting side by side together. Above the boots there was a long black wool coat with a burgundy scarf, which Draco could only assume Harry must have purchased for Severus as a joke. Harry’s own comfortable parka was thrown on the bannister, nowhere near the coat rack, still damp from melted snow flakes, as if he had returned home in a hurry and hadn’t had the time or the inclination to be neat and tidy.
“Would you like a drink, Draco?” Severus shook Draco’s hand and ushered him into the living room, offering him a glass of sparkling wine although Draco wasn’t sure what he really had to celebrate.
Harry came into the living room then and Draco’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. He was wearing an awful Weasley jumper in Slytherin green with what appeared to be a huge purple bludger and golden snitch in the centre. His hair was rumpled as if he had just rolled out of bed and his jeans were light, stonewashed blue with a couple of rips at the knees. His feet were bare and tanned and his face looked light and happy. Harry was never more handsome than when he was in love, moving with an easy grace and a broad, breath-taking smile.
“Hi Draco,” Harry shuffled a little now, seeming unsure whether he should sit on the sofa next to Draco or perch on the armchair next to Severus.
“Hello Harry, I wanted to get you something - you both something…to say thank you for having me, it’s only small.” Draco could hear his voice crack a little as he handed Harry the gift he had so carefully chosen, wrapped in the magical paper intended for children but which he knew Harry loved.
As Harry unwrapped the gift Draco noticed a flash of silver on his left hand and he felt his heart constrict. He looked across at Severus who was watching Harry open his present with a half-smile on his face and looked surreptitiously at the hand holding a large glass of wine. On his third finger there was a silver band; nothing showy or flashy, just a plain silver circle which spoke volumes. They were married. Draco felt so hot he couldn’t breathe.
“Is everything ok?” Harry was looking at Draco with some trepidation as Draco felt his face flush and he had to fight back a chocking sob.
“Fine - I just need the bathroom.”
“Down the hall, on the left…are you sure you’re ok?”
Draco didn’t bother responding, moving as quickly as he could towards the bathroom. When he reached the small room he locked the door behind him and finally allowed the wracking, heaving sob to wrench itself from his body. He dry-heaved into the sink and struggled to compose himself. He had somehow thought it would be a good idea to spend the evening with Harry and Severus. For some reason he had thought that just maybe he and Harry would fall back into their usual dance and Harry would fall in love with him all over again.
He was wrong. Splashing cold water on his face Draco stared at himself in the mirror, wondering not for the first time why on earth he had been so utterly stupid. He should have known that Severus would never have invited him into his life with Harry if he wasn’t completely confident that Harry would never leave him. Severus knew Draco too well. It would have made no sense whatsoever for a possessive, jealous man to invite someone with Draco’s own particular brand of cunning into the life Severus had built with Harry if Severus wasn’t sure of his relationship. There was no hope left for Draco and Harry - he saw that now.
Steadying his breathing he checked his face didn’t look red and blotchy and returned to the living room. Harry was perched on the arm of the chair by Severus. He had a foot tucked behind his calf and Severus was resting a hand lightly on his thigh. They were speaking in low tones, never removing their eyes from one another’s faces. They looked serious and completely wrapped up in one another. Draco felt like he was intruding and coughed, quietly into the low murmuring voices.
“Draco - everything ok?” Harry turned to Draco.
“You got married?” Draco gestured to Harry and Snape who had respectfully moved apart when they realised Draco had entered the room again. Harry was standing now looking slightly awkward.
“Yes.” Severus watched Draco with his intense black stare, gauging any reaction.
“Draco…it’s just…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Harry looked typically uncomfortable, casting nervous glances at Severus and finding it difficult to meet Draco’s eyes.
“It’s okay Harry. It’s not your fault I was a total arse and you decided to find something better.”
“Not better, Draco,” Harry spoke very softly and looked at him with those gorgeous serious eyes, “Just different.”
“Yes.” Draco found himself moving to Harry who hadn’t left his spot. With one hand Draco very gently reached out and smoothed a little hair from Harry’s forehead, quickly dropping his hand back to his side as he could feel Harry holding his breath. “I really fucked everything up, didn’t I love?”
“Yes, you really did.” Draco could see that Harry had tears in his eyes and he felt a lump in his throat, wanting desperately not to cry in front of Harry and Severus. His Malfoy pride would never allow that. Harry rested a hand on Draco’s shoulder and Draco thought his knees might buckle from the heat of it.
“I’m sorry you’re hurt. I’m sorry that things ended up like this and that you’re unhappy. I’m sorry that you broke my heart and I’m so very sorry that I can’t love you back anymore - that I don’t love you back anymore.”
“I’m sorry too, love.” Draco’s voice was barely a whisper in the quiet room and he felt so small and so lost. Then warm arms wrapped around him, bundling him into a strong embrace and Draco felt wet eyes on his neck as he was being hugged by Harry Potter and he thought he might die from the beautiful comfort of it. He wrapped his arms around Harry and finally he let his own tears fall.
To his credit Severus let the men have the moment they clearly needed and didn’t intrude on the embrace as Harry and Draco clung to each other. Harry pulled back first and rested his head against Draco’s forehead, his breath sweet and smelling of chocolate and butter beer. Draco’s heart broke at the breath-taking innocence of Harry. He remembered everything in that one moment of clarity.
”I love you so fucking much it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.”
“You’re such a romantic, Potter.”
“I just…I never thought I would find this.”
“Well you are very lucky to have me,” but as Draco kissed Harry softly, sweeping his hands down the man’s back and leaning into another sweet kiss he knew that Harry wasn’t the lucky one. Not really. That was all Draco.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too, Potter, me too.”
Draco pulled back and cleared his throat a little, looking over at Severus who was looking elsewhere a slightly pained grimace on his face.
“We should eat! The food must be ready by now.” Harry tried to change the topic and Draco saw the pleading look cast in Snape’s direction. He decided to do the honourable thing by Harry for once in his bloody life and give the couple the moment they likely needed.
“Let me take a look, I’m a fabulous cook.”
“I remember.”
Draco left the living room but he couldn’t help but stand just for a moment looking through the door which was slightly ajar. Harry moved quickly from his spot on the floor and launched himself into Severus’ arms, bundled in his lap and nuzzling his neck. Severus smoothed hands down Harry’s back pushing him back from the embrace with a gentle kiss.
“I can’t…there won’t be any more of that, Potter. I understand that had to happen - I do, but I am a jealous man.”
“I know, love. You don’t have anything worry about you know? You’re everything to me. I think in some ways you always were.” Harry sounded slightly awestruck as his small hand traced the contours of Snape’s face.
“Harry…” Snape kissed Harry then and it was long and punishing and almost angry in its intensity. “No more, Potter. No more.”
“I know. This is going to be okay?”
“It’s nearly Christmas Potter, no doubt you will get horribly drunk tonight and dance very foolishly…but yes, it will all be okay.”
“I love you so fucking much.”
“You’re a simpleton, Potter.”
“Perhaps…husband, but you love me too, so that must make you...oh who cares?”
Draco didn’t have to watch after that as he saw Harry’s lips captured in a deep, scorching kiss.
Having Harry in his life in whatever capacity was simply better than having no Harry at all.
”You and me…just you and me Harry?”
In the darkness of the room Draco felt so small and Harry was making him feel so very protected, his strong warm arms wrapped around Draco cuddling him close. Green eyes closed against the night and Draco tangled his hands in thick, messy hair pulling Harry’s lips towards his own in another beautiful kiss.
“Forever, love.”
~Fin~
Title: Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Draco, Harry/Severus
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Word Count: ~7,000
Prompt: #119: Draco/Harry, Harry/Someone else (Doesn't matter who).
Does he watch your favorite movies? / Does he hold you when you cry? / Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts / When you've seen it a million times? / Does he sing to all your music / While you dance to Purple Rain? / Does he do all these things / Like I used to? (submitted by freakingcrups)
Notes: Thank you very much indeed to S. for the beta and V. for the read through and support.
Draco felt sick. He felt sick rather a lot these days, since Harry had left. It was coming up to Christmas and he was trying to do his shopping in Hogsmeade although he didn’t really have that many people left to buy gifts for - not anyone that mattered in any event. He gently fingered a small toy crup thinking about how different things might have been if Harry was still with him. He remembered what it had been like last Christmas.
”You’re not going to make me wear that bloody thing, Potter - it’s going to ruin my hair!”
“But it looks so good on you Draco,” Harry was laughing at the Santa’s hat perched at a lopsided angle on Draco’s head and his eyes got that intense look they sometimes got when he wanted to pounce on Draco and kiss him like no one was watching, “It’s sexy…”
“Oh?” Draco had cocked his head to the side looking thoughtful, “Have a Santa kink, do you Potter?”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Harry had laughed and swung his arms around Draco, planting a huge wet kiss on his lips, “I have a Santa-Draco kink.”
“Of course you do,” Draco had smirked and steadied the kiss, diving in to sample a sweet tasting spot on Harry’s neck which he knew would drive his boyfriend to distraction. “Have you been a very good boy, Harry?”
“Oh no,” Harry breathed when Draco released his lips and smiled again that broad, genuine Gryffindor smile, “I’ve been very naughty.”
“Somehow Harry I find that rather difficult to believe,” Draco laughed and kissed his boyfriend again, “Come on, let’s go and find you an elf’s costume and if you’re very good you get to play Santa’s little helper later.”
“Pervert,” Harry laughed as Draco grabbed his hand pulling him out of the shop and into the snow.
“You’re the one with the Santa kink, Potter!”
“Santa-Draco kink love, only ever Santa-Draco.”
“If I find anything cute and fluffy under my Christmas tree you impossible brat, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
Draco stilled at the sound of the familiar silky drawl and ducked behind the shelves as Severus Snape walked into view. He pressed back into the shadows, watching as Snape circled the pile of stuffed toys with disdain looking as though he would rather like to hex something. The man hadn’t really seemed to age much since Hogwarts, if anything he looked younger and more carefree without his robes, dressed in a black wool jumper and tight black jeans.
“Not even one small crup, Severus?”
Draco knew that Harry would be with him of course, the fact that Harry Potter had chosen yet another former Death Eater as his latest paramour had created something of a stir in the wizarding press. Draco had spent many hours in the last few months staring at pictures of Snape and Harry, wondering what his light-hearted happy ex-boyfriend could get from a man who always scowled so much. This was the first time he had seen them together however and he thought his heart might shatter into a thousand pieces from the sight of it.
“Especially not a crup.”
Snape scowled down at Harry who grinned up at him as he leant back against the huge pile of stuffed toys his legs casually crossed. Draco could see both of them from their side profiles; Harry leaning casually back smiling broadly as Severus glared down at him.
Then - oh gods - Severus was reaching down to touch Harry’s face, his hand large against Harry’s cheeks as Harry nuzzled into the touch. Harry raised his arms to hook them around Snape’s neck and he turned his face up for a kiss which he was granted immediately. The kiss was so heartbreakingly full of passion Draco thought his legs might give way beneath him from the very sight of it. To watch Harry - his Harry - letting out the little whimper that he made when someone kissed him just right was bad enough but to see his hands move from Snape’s neck to bunch in the man’s jumper and pull him closer into the kiss made Draco’s heart ache from the sight of it.
”Why do you always do that, Harry - yank on my clothes like that?”
“What do you mean?” Harry looked confused for a moment, his eyes hooded and his lips plump from being thoroughly kissed. He looked down at his hands fisting in Draco’s shirt, clutching for dear life, “Oh, this?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know,” Harry laughed, “It’s kind of like I can’t be close enough…Merlin, Draco it’s like I want to fucking crawl inside you when we kiss - I suppose I can get a little grabby.”
“I’m not complaining Potter,” Draco kissed Harry again and rested his hands over Harry’s which were still bunched into cotton-full fists, “Not complaining at all.”
“Potter, I warn you I am about to create a scene right here in the middle of this pile of stuffed toys.”
Severus was speaking with a low, deep sort of growl as he pulled back from his kiss with Harry, running his hands down Harry’s sides. Draco marvelled over how small Harry looked next to Severus and he wondered if Harry liked that Severus was so much taller. Harry had always said that he and Draco were the perfect fit.
Draco watched as Harry laughed standing back upright and leaning away from the toys.
“Let’s get out of here then - do you want to go for a pint or something?”
Severus shrugged and placed one hand gently on Harry’s shoulders steering him away, “Very well Potter, but if you get drunk I shall make no apologies for taking every advantage.”
Draco wasn’t sure why he was being such a masochist but something in his foolish heart told him he should follow Harry and Snape. He sat outside the Leaky Cauldron as the snow fell gently, barely feeling the cold on his hands as he waited for the couple to emerge. He remembered the last time he had been in the Leaky Cauldron with Harry, just before Harry had left.
”What’s up Draco? Merlin you look serious.”
“I’m just not sure I’m happy anymore, Harry.”
“What?” Harry sat down quickly, as if someone had kicked his legs from beneath him.
“I just…I’m young Harry, we’re both so young. Don’t you think we should see a bit of the world, a bit of other people before we settle down?”
“You’re joking?”
“No…”
“You can’t - Why the hell would I want anyone else, Draco? Do you want someone else? Oh gods, have you met someone else?”
“No Harry - no - I would never do that to you…I just need time - to be sure…” Even then, Draco wasn’t sure why he was doing this when Harry was looking at him like he was going to break into pieces before his eyes.
“Draco I love you - please don’t do this love…you’re not really doing this are you?”
Harry’s eyes so very green and wide were pleading with him, hoping Draco would start laughing and say it was all a silly joke. When it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen Harry stood quickly and stumbled out of the Leaky Cauldron walking as though he had drunk ten pints when he hadn’t even taken a sip from his drink.
Draco still didn’t know why he had been so utterly foolish. At the time he had somehow felt that Harry was too much, too needy. Now that nobody needed Draco he was beginning to realise that Harry was really the only thing he had ever wanted.
Draco remembered that Severus had been involved, even back then. Of all the people Harry could have gone to Draco had never imagined that Harry would go to Snape - he would have thought Weasley or Granger - anyone but Severus.
Severus had been so very furious with Draco.
”Draco, you fool what the hell have you done?” Severus’ dark eyes were flashing with anger as Draco stood in the doorway to the Manor still in his pyjamas feeling sick because Harry wasn’t there.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what have you done to Potter who is - as we speak - sleeping off a hangover on my sofa after crying himself to sleep.”
“Why the hell did he go to you?”
“I’m damned if I know Draco - he was so drunk I doubt he really knew what he was doing. As abhorrent as I may find Potter it appears he thinks I am the only person lonely enough to understand him. I am also the only person in the boy’s life who really knows you, Draco which is why I find myself here trying to understand what foolish reasoning led to this sorry state of affairs.”
If it hadn’t been so bloody heart breaking Draco would have had to laugh at Severus, the world’s most reluctant relationship counsellor, “Harry’s in pain?”
“Of course he is you imbecile - I have never seen Potter this broken before. If this was some sort of revenge for the past you should congratulate yourself on a job very well done.”
“No! Severus no - you know it’s not…” Draco was starting to feel very sick indeed thinking about Harry curled up in the foetal position on Snape’s couch, crying and trying to find some warmth. “We broke up…”
“Thank you Malfoy, I gathered that much. What I need to know from you is why? I thought you were love’s young dream?”
“I just thought we were too young…I needed to be sure…”
“I have never heard anything so ridiculous in all of my life,” Severus waited for Draco to continue nonetheless his arms crossed and scowling at Draco.
“I know - but it’s going to be fine because I’m sure now Severus - we can work it out I’ll tell him I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
Severus hoisted Draco towards him with a large hand fisting in his pyjamas until they were nose to nose.
“You stupid, reckless child! You have completely broken the boy’s heart - you left him Draco, made him feel unwanted in the worst possible way…did you even consider for one moment what that might do to a man with Harry’s history?!” Severus released Draco and pushed him back, his anger palpable.
“Oh gods, he will take me back won’t he?” Severus stood silent with his arms folded, an implacable stone façade as he continued to glare at Draco - “Severus? It will be ok, won’t it?”
Severus had stared at Draco and then turned away.
“You fool. You will regret this for the rest of your life.”
Harry and Snape eventually came out of the Leaky Cauldron and trying to become as inconspicuous as possible, Draco followed behind them in the shadows. Harry was laughing and holding his head back into the snow, almost skipping in it as he kept threatening to throw snow balls at Severus. In turn Severus would call Harry a brat or an imp or a foolish child, but his tone held nothing but affection for Harry.
Draco followed them all the way to a little cottage and saw them go inside. He couldn’t help but move closer to the window, whispering a spell so that he could hear the conversation going on inside the house.
“Merlin, I’m knackered.” Harry collapsed onto the sofa next to Snape and stretched stocking clad feet out so they rested in Snape’s lap. Draco was surprised by the familiar intimacy as Snape gently began to massage Harry’s feet without protest.
“Just how tired would you say you are, Potter?”
Severus continued to massage Harry’s feet, smirking at him as a one of the hands which had been working around the balls of Harry’s left foot began to move up his calf.
“Perhaps I’m not all that tired after all.” Harry sat upright and then was arranging himself so that he was straddling Snape, sitting in his lap and leaning in for a kiss.
“I’ve been thinking about certain…things lately.”
“Oh?” Harry looked worried and pulled back from their kiss. Draco hated the look on his face. It was he, Draco, that had made Harry lose his innocent trust in relationships. The look on Harry’s face was heart breaking, as if he expected Severus to announce he was leaving him, just as Draco had done.
“Ssssh, brat,” Severus brushed Harry’s hair from his forehead obviously realising exactly what Harry was thinking. “Nothing to worry about,” Snape gave Harry a kiss and then leant back with a sigh, his hands absentmindedly stroking down Harry’s back. “I find myself thinking about Draco.”
“Draco?!”
Hearing his name spoken twice in quick succession made Draco shrink back into the shadows as he tried to catch his breath hoping he hadn’t been caught out. When he had assured himself that no one had any inkling he was there, he moved back to the window as the conversation continued. Harry was on his feet now pacing in front of Severus, running his hand through his hair which always meant he was nervous about something.
“He has no one left…he’s my godson…” Severus looked as though he was trying to couch his words very carefully indeed as Harry continued pacing.
“He has people.”
“Who, Harry? I am not sure he really had anyone but us in his life and your friends of course, who obviously don’t choose to spend time with him anymore.”
“You can’t say you blame them for that?”
“No, Potter - you misunderstand,” Severus sighed looking pained, “I would simply like for him to be free to visit me if he chooses.”
“I don’t like to think of him being alone…” Harry’s hand reached up again in an unconscious movement, brushing his hair back.
“No.” Severus watched Harry steadily.
“What do you suggest?” Harry was frowning at Severus now, his hand still raking through his hair. “This isn’t going to be easy for me you know - sitting around the dinner table and just…forgetting.”
“I see.” Severus steeped his fingers and watched Harry closely. “Should I be concerned?”
“Do you need me to answer that?” Harry looked at Severus quickly, a half smile quirking his lips the soft, affectionate look making Draco feel breathless all over again.
Severus simply shrugged and looked away from Harry. “I made a vow to Narcissa once, I killed for Draco and I nearly died for him myself. This needs to be resolved.”
“Hey…” Harry had stopped pacing and was watching Severus look at his hands which were twisted in his lap. “You’re worried.”
“I’m not worried Potter,” Snape scowled and then shook his head. “If you choose to leave me for a younger man who is infinitely more handsome than I then I can hardly blame you.” Severus trailed off still glaring at his hands.
“Severus, you know better than anyone that it was completely shit when Draco finished it - I was a total wreck. I didn’t think I would ever get over him…I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t love him because I really bloody did you know? I loved him with everything I had.” Harry sighed and Draco was holding his breath now, his nose almost pushed up against the window waiting to hear what Harry had to say.
“I know, Potter.”
“But you see Severus, I’m not sure you really do…” Harry looked closely at Snape before resuming his position in the man’s lap, straddling him as he ran his hands through Snape’s hair and trailed just two fingers down the contour of his face looking slightly awestruck. “All that time…”
“Potter, don’t…” Snape was staring at Harry and Harry was speaking so softly Draco had to strain to hear the words.
“All that time you were there for me. You risked your life on countless occasions and suffered torture at the hands of a madman to keep me safe.”
Severus snorted, “You needed a lot of saving, Potter you reckless little fool.”
“And you had to be the one doing the saving didn’t you?” Harry laughed and pressed his lips to Snape’s mouth, moaning softly into the kiss which quickly became rough and forceful as Snape pressed him back into the sofa.
“You need saving from yourself sometimes, Potter.”
“I understand why you did it all you know. I won’t ever forget and as awful as everything was I’m glad it happened now because otherwise I would never have known…”
“Known what, you foolish imp?”
“That you love me…that you always did…that you won’t ever stop keeping me safe.” Harry kissed Severus again before he could respond and Severus was reaching down between them and - oh gods he was unbuckling Harry’s belt and Harry was arching up into the touch.
“You’re daft as a brush Potter, you do know I find romantic notions horribly sickening?”
“Oh yes!” Harry thrust up into Severus’ hand and laughed at that. “You don’t usually let me get that far though you usually stop me long before I can get to the really good stuff.”
“How remiss of me…” Snape was definitely smirking as he bent down to kiss Harry again, pushing his hands under Harry’s t-shirt and pinning him very effectively to the sofa. “Did you say something about the good stuff, Potter?”
“Oh yes…” Harry breathed out into another hard kiss and Draco thought he saw Severus’ eyes flick up to the window just for one moment but he must have been imagining it. He knew he should leave. Of all the things he had been expecting to see or had wanted to see he definitely didn’t want to see what was about to happen. For some reason though Draco couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Harry being undressed before his eyes, arching into a hand which had disappeared between the two bodies and out of Draco’s eye line although from the movements Harry was making and the whimpers coming from his wet, parted lips, Draco thought he could probably guess exactly what Severus was doing.
“What do you want?” Draco had never heard that voice from Severus before - a deep, low growl full of barely contained passion as he kissed down Harry’s neck and bit lightly on his exposed collarbone.
“Fuck!” Harry laughed suddenly into the kiss his back arching again and the laugh turning quickly into a yelp as Severus thrust his hand and bit harder, “That please.”
“Fuck?”
“Yes, now Severus.”
Snape was undoing his trousers with one hand and Harry was groaning as the other continued doing whatever the hell it was doing between them.
“Impatient, brat?”
“Yes, fuck yes - don’t bother with the bloody jumper for Merlin’s sake, just get on with it!”
“Talk about topping from the bottom, Potter.” Severus smirked at Harry and then had obviously done exactly what Harry had been begging for as legs were quickly rearranged and Harry let out a loud moan of pleasure.
“So fucking good Severus.”
Draco finally moved away from the window although he could still hear the sounds from inside the cottage. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Harry had always taken charge with Draco although they tried everything of course. He was always the brave Gryffindor taking Draco hard and fast until Draco would keen and writhe, opening up completely to Harry. To see Harry so lost underneath someone else, begging and pleading and so wonderfully desperate in his pleasure was something Draco had never seen. He had seen Harry come so hard he had almost fainted and he had been fucked by Harry all weekend - all bloody week sometimes - in every position under the sun.
The music in the club was loud and sweaty bodies writhed together on the dance floor. Draco was sipping a pink cocktail and watching Harry, the very picture of innocence, as Harry advanced towards him scowling.
”You’re a bloody brat, Malfoy!”
“No Potter, not me?” Draco feigned innocence but he knew he was in trouble. Oh boy, did he ever love being in trouble.
“Get outside now Draco and wait for me round the back. If you aren’t standing there in less than five minutes with your feet apart ready to receive the hardest fucking of your life I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
“Oh!”
Draco hadn’t needed telling twice.
“I love it when you do that.”
“Hmmm?”
“That…thing…” Harry paused and appeared to be speaking in actual words now instead of incoherent babbles. Draco moved back to the window to see Harry back on Snape’s lap, completely naked while Snape was almost entirely fully clothed if not a little rumpled. Harry was holding Snape’s hand in his own, stroking the outline of the long, thin fingers with the tips of his own fingers.
“Oh…” Snape was watching Harry trace around his fingers with a smirk. “That thing.” He removed his hand from Harry’s own and traced it lightly down Harry’s spine as Harry shivered into the touch with a whimper. “You could have let me take my clothes off Potter…it doesn’t seem very fair for you to be so naked and vulnerable.” Snape’s hands continued tracing down to the curve of Harry’s backside and although Draco couldn’t see Snape’s face which was currently buried in Harry’s neck, he could hear the smirk in the man’s voice.
“Plenty of time for that Severus,” Harry laughed and wiggled in Severus’ lap, ““Dance with me?” Harry hopped off Snape’s lap and was pulling on his jeans leaving his t-shirt still crumpled on the floor.
“Don’t be so foolish Potter, I don’t dance.”
“Oh but I know that’s not true.” Harry was already hauling a reluctant Severus to his feet and waving his hand, as his wand began to play one of Harry’s favourite Muggle songs. When Harry and Draco used to dance they had been in clubs together, sweaty and grinding, laughing and grasping at one another until they had to apparate home or find somewhere half discrete to pull at one another’s clothes until they were sucking or fucking hard and fast, groaning into each other.
Severus and Harry danced very differently. The music was much softer and they barely moved, Harry resting his head on Snape’s chest and Snape’s palm in the small of Harry’s back, the other hand stroking softly at Harry’s hair, petting it gently into some sort of style.
“Are you happy?” Harry had moved his head back to look into Severus’ eyes which were dark and fixed completely on Harry.
“Do shut up, Potter.”
Severus kissed Harry then, the kind of kiss that made Draco want to weep with the truth of it.
He had seen enough and turned into the shadows once more, casting one glance back over his shoulder to see the two figures silhouetted in the window, heads bowed together.
~
Draco opened the door to find Severus standing in the archway. He hadn’t been able to get the damn images of Harry out of his mind last night and seeing Severus now, fully clothed and imposing as ever in his full robes was like another bolt to his heart. His first thought - Harry.
“Severus? Is Harry-”
“Harry is fine Draco.”
“Well come in then. Do you want a drink?”
“This isn’t a social call, Draco - I want to know why you were at my house last night.”
“What?” Of all the things Draco had thought Snape might say he hadn’t been expecting that. He felt a fierce heat in his cheeks and he had to turn away from Severus.
“Did you really imagine that with my history I wouldn’t have magical wards set up to protect myself from former Death Eaters peering through my window at night?”
“Oh…”
“Yes, oh - well, did you see everything you needed?”
“You wanted me to see that.” Draco could feel his face turn red as Snape continued to stare at him, not moving.
“I did not ask for you to intrude on our privacy Draco that was your choice alone.”
“You bastard - you wanted me to see you and Harry do…for fucks sake Severus, does Harry know I was watching?” Draco could feel a ball of rage coil in his stomach as Severus continued to watch him without moving.
“You haven’t answered my question yet Draco, what were you doing there?”
“I don’t know.” Draco slumped against the wall suddenly feeling so very tired.
“You’re in love with him still I imagine?”
“Yes.”
“I see.” Snape continued to watch as Draco slumped further into the wall. He had never felt like more of a child, more foolish than he did now. He hated himself for letting out an involuntary broken sob.
“Merlin I fucking hate you right now, Severus, I hate you.” With balled up fists Draco swung at Snape his pain and anger all colliding together at once as he took in the man standing so implacably in his hallway. His wrists were quickly captured by Snape as he struggled to free himself.
“Yes Draco, I’m rather sure you do.” Severus sighed and released Draco’s hands which flopped uselessly to his sides.
“You always liked him didn’t you? All of this bloody time when you used to come round here and pretend to hate him - even then - even when we were together?” Draco’s voice had lost some of its earlier fire and he realised it now sounded very small and sad.
“That’s absolutely none of your business.” Snape’s refusal to answer told Draco all he needed to know.
“Since Hogwarts? Fuck, Severus you probably liked him back when he was just a kid!”
Draco knew he had overstepped the mark as flashing black eyes met his own and he hated himself for cowering a little.
“I have heard quite enough! You are in this position because you Draco took Potter to a bloody pub of all places and decided to break his heart because you had a foolish whim that he might not be enough for you.” Snape advanced closer to Draco, spitting out his words. “You told him to meet someone else, Draco - you can hardly blame him for doing so.”
“It would have to be you Severus, you miserable git.”
“I can assure you Draco that given our previous history I can only express my utmost shock at the fact that Potter decided to drunkenly descend on my door for tea and sympathy.”
“I still don’t know why he did that,” Draco muttered.
“Because I was close to you and even after everything it was better to be with someone close to you than someone who never really knew you like Weasley and Granger.”
“And I suppose you took every advantage of that cosy little set up?” Draco sneered at Severus who scowled back at him.
“You must know I would never have pursued anything with the boy?”
“Because he’s bloody gorgeous and you didn’t think you would stand a chance with him you miserable bastard.”
“Yes.”
Draco looked up at this to see if Severus was joking or teasing him but he looked completely serious.
“Oh…so he pursued you?”
“Draco…” Severus sighed and looked to the ceiling, “That isn’t my story to tell. You need to speak to Harry, you do know that?”
“I doubt he’s really all that interested in speaking to me anymore.”
“Just…stop staring through windows. Come inside.”
“Oh wonderful,” Draco bestowed Severus with his very best Malfoy-glare, “I can’t imagine anything more entertaining than an evening watching the two of you fawn all over each other.”
“Malfoy, when have you ever known me to fawn?” Severus quirked his eyebrow and frowned at Draco, his arms folded. Clearly he wasn’t going to leave until he had an answer.
“I’ll come - when?”
“Good. Friday at seven and don’t be late.”
Snape turned to leave when Draco grabbed his arm and spun Severus around knowing that what he needed to say couldn’t be said couldn’t be said in front of Harry.
“This isn’t going to be…easy for me.”
“No, I imagine not.” Snape’s steady black eyes fixed on Draco and he felt as he had when he had been a Death Eater - so very small and lost. He wanted Harry to snuggle up to him.
”What was it like…being a Death Eater?”
“It was horrible,” Draco had confessed watching Harry with wide eyes as Harry looked at him intently and seriously, raking a hand through his hair. They were lying in bed together face to face, feet tangled together under the duvets and Harry reached out now to smooth a little of Draco’s hair from his forehead.
“I’m sorry for that, love.”
“I’m sorry too…for them - for my father.”
“Yes. Ssssh, don’t get upset.” Draco hadn’t even realised he had been crying until Harry had swept a tear from his cheek with a rough thumb. The thumb moved down Draco’s face and swept gently over his lips. Draco parted his lips slightly then with a grin took the thumb into his mouth suggestively.
“Draco…” Harry breathed, giving him that intense green stare.
“Yes Harry?” Draco released the thumb and shuffled closer to Harry so that he could feel the boy’s warmth.
“Love you Draco.”
“Love you too, Potter.” Draco took Harry’s lips in his mouth and kissed him softly, moaning when Harry rolled him back and pinned him down with the weight of his body.
“Want to shag?” Harry was grinning now and Draco laughed thrusting his hips up towards Harry.
“Oh get on with it Potter.”
So Harry had.
“I knew him, Severus - we shared everything - fuck!”
Snape was watching him carefully as Draco could feel himself collapse, his proud bloody Malfoy façade crumbling with the tears that began to fall, feeling like a snotty five year old as Severus handed him a handkerchief.
”Why are you watching that film again, Harry?”
“It makes me smile. Plus Colin Firth is kind of hot.”
Draco walked over to the sofa and sat down in front of Harry parting his knees and settling in between them softly sweeping Harry’s shaggy hair to one side. “I did rather hope you preferred blondes.”
“Certain blondes do hold some appeal.” Harry laughed and ran his hand through Draco’s hair, pulling him up into his lap and kissing him breathless.
“Hang on,” Draco tilted his head to one side. “Nice boys don’t kiss like that.”
It was Harry’s favourite line from the film and he laughed with delight, turning his head to kiss Draco again.
“Yes they fucking do.”
“And you imagine we don’t share anything I suppose?”
“I bet you don’t watch films together Severus, he loves-”
“-I know - romantic drivel with a happy ending.” Severus looked quite ill at the thought.
“I wouldn’t have thought you one for romantic comedies Severus,” Draco hated the thought of his Harry snuggled up on the sofa with Severus, his feet tucked underneath him as he watched one of his ridiculous films. He wondered if Severus could quote lines from Bridget Jones’ Diary. Draco bet he couldn’t.
“I watch them because they make him laugh, Draco.” Severus was looking closely at Draco as he sniffled, cursing himself for his reactions.
“You know he has nightmares?”
“Yes.”
“And it makes him feel better if you-”
“Yes. Thank you Draco, I am aware.”
“I don’t want him to be sad…I hate the thought of him being sad.”
“He won’t be.” Severus turned before leaving, “I understand this is difficult for you Draco. I am not a demonstrative man or one for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but he will be happy. I will do everything in my power to make sure of that.”
“I just want…”
“I understand.”
The door opened, closed and Severus was gone, leaving Draco to stare at the fireplace.
~
“I don’t want to intrude…”
It was Friday night, seven o’clock sharp and Draco paused in the doorway to Snape’s cottage. The food smelt delicious.
“You’re not intruding.” Not tonight at least, Draco thought. He wanted to ask if Snape intended to put on another sex show for him but he thought that probably wouldn’t go down very well and one thing Draco did have was impeccable manners.
Although Draco knew Harry and Severus had a home - a life together - he had seen that much through the windows after all, being inside made him ache as he basked in the warmth of the small cottage.
He took in the boots by the door, Harry’s Quidditch boots and Severus’ own black leather boots with silver buckles, resting side by side together. Above the boots there was a long black wool coat with a burgundy scarf, which Draco could only assume Harry must have purchased for Severus as a joke. Harry’s own comfortable parka was thrown on the bannister, nowhere near the coat rack, still damp from melted snow flakes, as if he had returned home in a hurry and hadn’t had the time or the inclination to be neat and tidy.
“Would you like a drink, Draco?” Severus shook Draco’s hand and ushered him into the living room, offering him a glass of sparkling wine although Draco wasn’t sure what he really had to celebrate.
Harry came into the living room then and Draco’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. He was wearing an awful Weasley jumper in Slytherin green with what appeared to be a huge purple bludger and golden snitch in the centre. His hair was rumpled as if he had just rolled out of bed and his jeans were light, stonewashed blue with a couple of rips at the knees. His feet were bare and tanned and his face looked light and happy. Harry was never more handsome than when he was in love, moving with an easy grace and a broad, breath-taking smile.
“Hi Draco,” Harry shuffled a little now, seeming unsure whether he should sit on the sofa next to Draco or perch on the armchair next to Severus.
“Hello Harry, I wanted to get you something - you both something…to say thank you for having me, it’s only small.” Draco could hear his voice crack a little as he handed Harry the gift he had so carefully chosen, wrapped in the magical paper intended for children but which he knew Harry loved.
As Harry unwrapped the gift Draco noticed a flash of silver on his left hand and he felt his heart constrict. He looked across at Severus who was watching Harry open his present with a half-smile on his face and looked surreptitiously at the hand holding a large glass of wine. On his third finger there was a silver band; nothing showy or flashy, just a plain silver circle which spoke volumes. They were married. Draco felt so hot he couldn’t breathe.
“Is everything ok?” Harry was looking at Draco with some trepidation as Draco felt his face flush and he had to fight back a chocking sob.
“Fine - I just need the bathroom.”
“Down the hall, on the left…are you sure you’re ok?”
Draco didn’t bother responding, moving as quickly as he could towards the bathroom. When he reached the small room he locked the door behind him and finally allowed the wracking, heaving sob to wrench itself from his body. He dry-heaved into the sink and struggled to compose himself. He had somehow thought it would be a good idea to spend the evening with Harry and Severus. For some reason he had thought that just maybe he and Harry would fall back into their usual dance and Harry would fall in love with him all over again.
He was wrong. Splashing cold water on his face Draco stared at himself in the mirror, wondering not for the first time why on earth he had been so utterly stupid. He should have known that Severus would never have invited him into his life with Harry if he wasn’t completely confident that Harry would never leave him. Severus knew Draco too well. It would have made no sense whatsoever for a possessive, jealous man to invite someone with Draco’s own particular brand of cunning into the life Severus had built with Harry if Severus wasn’t sure of his relationship. There was no hope left for Draco and Harry - he saw that now.
Steadying his breathing he checked his face didn’t look red and blotchy and returned to the living room. Harry was perched on the arm of the chair by Severus. He had a foot tucked behind his calf and Severus was resting a hand lightly on his thigh. They were speaking in low tones, never removing their eyes from one another’s faces. They looked serious and completely wrapped up in one another. Draco felt like he was intruding and coughed, quietly into the low murmuring voices.
“Draco - everything ok?” Harry turned to Draco.
“You got married?” Draco gestured to Harry and Snape who had respectfully moved apart when they realised Draco had entered the room again. Harry was standing now looking slightly awkward.
“Yes.” Severus watched Draco with his intense black stare, gauging any reaction.
“Draco…it’s just…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Harry looked typically uncomfortable, casting nervous glances at Severus and finding it difficult to meet Draco’s eyes.
“It’s okay Harry. It’s not your fault I was a total arse and you decided to find something better.”
“Not better, Draco,” Harry spoke very softly and looked at him with those gorgeous serious eyes, “Just different.”
“Yes.” Draco found himself moving to Harry who hadn’t left his spot. With one hand Draco very gently reached out and smoothed a little hair from Harry’s forehead, quickly dropping his hand back to his side as he could feel Harry holding his breath. “I really fucked everything up, didn’t I love?”
“Yes, you really did.” Draco could see that Harry had tears in his eyes and he felt a lump in his throat, wanting desperately not to cry in front of Harry and Severus. His Malfoy pride would never allow that. Harry rested a hand on Draco’s shoulder and Draco thought his knees might buckle from the heat of it.
“I’m sorry you’re hurt. I’m sorry that things ended up like this and that you’re unhappy. I’m sorry that you broke my heart and I’m so very sorry that I can’t love you back anymore - that I don’t love you back anymore.”
“I’m sorry too, love.” Draco’s voice was barely a whisper in the quiet room and he felt so small and so lost. Then warm arms wrapped around him, bundling him into a strong embrace and Draco felt wet eyes on his neck as he was being hugged by Harry Potter and he thought he might die from the beautiful comfort of it. He wrapped his arms around Harry and finally he let his own tears fall.
To his credit Severus let the men have the moment they clearly needed and didn’t intrude on the embrace as Harry and Draco clung to each other. Harry pulled back first and rested his head against Draco’s forehead, his breath sweet and smelling of chocolate and butter beer. Draco’s heart broke at the breath-taking innocence of Harry. He remembered everything in that one moment of clarity.
”I love you so fucking much it’s like I can’t breathe sometimes.”
“You’re such a romantic, Potter.”
“I just…I never thought I would find this.”
“Well you are very lucky to have me,” but as Draco kissed Harry softly, sweeping his hands down the man’s back and leaning into another sweet kiss he knew that Harry wasn’t the lucky one. Not really. That was all Draco.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too, Potter, me too.”
Draco pulled back and cleared his throat a little, looking over at Severus who was looking elsewhere a slightly pained grimace on his face.
“We should eat! The food must be ready by now.” Harry tried to change the topic and Draco saw the pleading look cast in Snape’s direction. He decided to do the honourable thing by Harry for once in his bloody life and give the couple the moment they likely needed.
“Let me take a look, I’m a fabulous cook.”
“I remember.”
Draco left the living room but he couldn’t help but stand just for a moment looking through the door which was slightly ajar. Harry moved quickly from his spot on the floor and launched himself into Severus’ arms, bundled in his lap and nuzzling his neck. Severus smoothed hands down Harry’s back pushing him back from the embrace with a gentle kiss.
“I can’t…there won’t be any more of that, Potter. I understand that had to happen - I do, but I am a jealous man.”
“I know, love. You don’t have anything worry about you know? You’re everything to me. I think in some ways you always were.” Harry sounded slightly awestruck as his small hand traced the contours of Snape’s face.
“Harry…” Snape kissed Harry then and it was long and punishing and almost angry in its intensity. “No more, Potter. No more.”
“I know. This is going to be okay?”
“It’s nearly Christmas Potter, no doubt you will get horribly drunk tonight and dance very foolishly…but yes, it will all be okay.”
“I love you so fucking much.”
“You’re a simpleton, Potter.”
“Perhaps…husband, but you love me too, so that must make you...oh who cares?”
Draco didn’t have to watch after that as he saw Harry’s lips captured in a deep, scorching kiss.
Having Harry in his life in whatever capacity was simply better than having no Harry at all.
”You and me…just you and me Harry?”
In the darkness of the room Draco felt so small and Harry was making him feel so very protected, his strong warm arms wrapped around Draco cuddling him close. Green eyes closed against the night and Draco tangled his hands in thick, messy hair pulling Harry’s lips towards his own in another beautiful kiss.
“Forever, love.”
~Fin~