"Long cold lonely winter" (Rose/Scorpius)
Title: Long cold lonely winter
Author/Artist: ama_dare
Prompt: A13: Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right --Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles
Prompt submitted by: nathalieweasley
Pairing(s): Rose/Scorpius
Word Count: ~4,300
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Just for some quick clarification: The flashbacks are not in chronological order! Other than that, I’d like to thank the amazing S for all her hard work and her tireless explanations. I can’t thank you enough <3
Summary: It’s was all just one big disaster and Rose didn’t know how to make it better at all.
Rose sighed. Her eyes hurt and her head was killing her. There was a lump in the back of her throat that she couldn’t swallow. She was hunched up in her bed in the dorm she shared with her fellow Gryffindors.
It was quiet. Everyone had already gone to classes but she just couldn’t force herself to get up. She felt lost and alone, and even breathing hurt so much. Whenever she tried to calm herself, a new flood of tears seemed to arrive. There were days when she thought that it just wouldn’t get better, couldn’t get better.
Remembering how things had been before was almost impossible, like the happy girl in her memories just couldn’t be herself. She felt no connection to the girl she used to be.
Everything she had believed about herself: that she was courageous, outspoken, clever, loving, so moral and a good person… well, she had proved that that was not the person that she and everyone else thought she was. How had she ended up like this? When did she become this horrible person? And what for? It all seemed so meaningless now, so irrelevant.
She is pressed against one of the bookcases in the back of the library. His breath is warm on her neck and his fingers draw circles on her waist, under her school blouse. She has to laugh.
"Stop it, someone could catch us any moment", she says but she doesn’t sound very convincing. Or convinced.
"No one ever comes back here", he whispers huskily in her ear and she shivers. His hands are wandering higher and she finds it hard to breathe. A moan escapes her lips as his hands stroke her nipples through her bra. They have never gone this far before but she doesn’t want him to stop. Everything feels good, feels right.
His lips find hers and she kisses him back, heated. She pulls him even closer and his knee finds his way between her legs and oh- it feels just so good. She presses herself closer, chasing the feeling that’s building up low in her belly and that’s making her heart beat faster.
"Rose", he moans between kisses and she can hear that his voice is shaking, that he isn’t his usual calm and collected self anymore and she likes that she has this effect on him.
They break apart when they hear someone drop a book on the other side of the shelf. Their faces are red and his hair is tousled. Rose thinks that hers probably looks like something exploded in there.
She tucks her blouse back into her skirt, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She’s still breathing faster than normal and she can feel the heat in her face. He is watching her, smiling, and she smiles back.
She drops a kiss on the side of his lips before she makes her way back to her table, grinning like a fool for the rest of the day.
Rose closed her eyes. The year had started so good and it was all in shambles now. It took all the power she had left, but she had to admit to herself that she could not continue to blame this mess on them. She had to accept that a large part of this blame was on herself. She had done this and while her friends had influenced her, had tried to manipulate her, she had made the choices herself. And she had to live with them.
This isn’t right, Rose thinks. They are taking things a little too far. The wind is cold and she’s freezing. She tries to huddle deeper into her cloak but the cold follows her. She is standing at the Quidditch Pitch and wishes more than anything to be in her common room, enjoying a hot cocoa in front of the warm fireplace
What can really happen? She tries to reason with herself. This is one stupid prank, the laughs are going to last a few days and then everyone will forget.
Her best friend must have felt her doubts for she sends Rose an encouraging smile. Rose smiles back, but it seems empty. She watches the boys and when they’re finished most of them hide in the Quidditch stands, Rose and her best friend included.
And then, in the distance, she can see the boy that makes her heart beat faster come closer. She just wishes that everything will be over soon.
Still shaking, she got off of the bed. She didn’t bother to shower or even do her hair. She put on her school uniform and left the dorm. There was no one in the common room and no one in the corridors that led to the hospital wing.
She tried to open the door quietly, hoping to evade Madam Dumont but the old door creaked so loud that the nurse was by her side immediately. She took one look at Rose’s harried form and motioned for her to sit on one of the beds while she left for the storage room.
Only when she was gone did Rose dare to really look around. She didn’t have to look long, there was only one bed currently occupied. She gnawed at her lips, suddenly not so sure anymore. But before she could make a decision, before she knew if she was ready to do this, Madame Dumont came back. She handed Rose a phial of Calming Draught, insisting she take this immediately. Without saying anything, Rose downed the contents in one go.
Rose immediately notices that something is wrong when she sits down at the table for breakfast. She wants to ask what is going on but her best friend Lyssa points to her boyfriend and motions for Rose to be quiet. Tillonius’s plate is untouched, instead of eating he is hunched over the morning issue of The Daily Prophet. Rose thinks he’s reading it, but his eyes are unmoving and unfocused.
"What’s wrong?", Rose whispers, and someone pushes a copy of the newspaper towards her.
Lyssa opens it for her on page five and points to a small article at the top of the page.
Rest of Malfoy assets unfrozen after 20 years of legal dispute, the headline reads. Rose is surprised, she’s never heard about this legal dispute before or that there were assets still frozen more than twenty years after the war. It seems so long ago, but she knows that there are people who don’t feel that way, who weren’t kept away from everything like she was.
"Being angry at the past does nothing but keep us in it", Hermione Granger once told her daughter. "We need to work towards the future, to ensure that something like that will never happen again. That’s why I’m working with the Ministry. I want our world to move forward from all the hate and become a place where everyone can feel safe."
Rose knows that Till’s family suffered heavily in the war and she knows that’s the reason he doesn’t get along with children of families’ that he knows supported the Death Eaters. Rose has tried arguing with him, of course, that he can’t hold the children responsible for their families’ actions long before they were born, but with an uncle and a grandmother in St. Mungos’ Thickey ward, these arguments always fall on deaf ears.
"It’s like they’re paying them", Lyssa mutters and Rose doesn’t argue with her, even though she knows she could, starting with the fact that the Malfoys obviously had to fight for this. She chances a look at Scorpius, but he’s sitting with his back to her and she can’t see his face.
"Would you like to stay here for a while or would you like to lie down back in your dorm?", the young nurse asked.
"I’d like to stay here, if I can", Rose mumbled.
"You seem really stressed. Would you like to talk about it? It wasn’t that long ago that I was in school here. I know how hard it can be, how exhausting." Rose didn’t look up, didn’t want to look in her eyes. She didn’t deserve this kindness.
"No... it’s just... I’d just like to lie down please. I just need some quiet, get away, you know?"
"I understand. Well, if you need anything, I’ll be in my office. I’m going to notify your teachers that you’re not going to attend classes today. You can really come to me with anything", she repeated and with that, the young nurse turned to leave.
"Did you -" , Rose started before she could stop herself. Madame Dumont turned back around and smiled at her kindly
"Did I what, Rose?", she implored.
"Did you ever make a mistake so big, that you thought it was impossible to undo? Impossible to be forgiven?"
Madame Dumont looked at her for a long time before she responded: "I - Yes, I did. I was very young and very stupid. I wish I could have changed what I did, but it doesn’t work like that. I had to do a lot to be forgiven, but what was possibly the hardest was to forgive myself. There were days when I didn’t think I could live with myself. But I’m here now and it’s okay. And that’s how it’s going to be with you. You’re a good person Rose, I know that from all the times you’ve been down here, taking care of your friends or your cousins, when one of them managed to fall off their broom again.", Madame Dumont smiled. "Whatever it is you did, it’s going to be all right."
Rose finally looked up and managed a small smile. "Thank you, really."
But you don’t know what I did, she added in her head If you did, you wouldn’t have said these things to me.
Madame Dumont smiled again and Rose looked after her, until the woman with the short black hair disappeared at the end of the hall into her office. Rose waited a few minutes, in which she just concentrated on breathing and then she got up again and took small steps to the only other occupied bed in the hospital wing. She closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself before she pushed the curtains back.
When Rose reaches the group, things are already heated up. There are books lying on the floor, next to a broken quill. Rose recognizes the overdone green and black feather.
"Listen here, Malfoy", Till growls "You better not try that again"
He’s closing in on Scorpius, ready to push him into the next wall. There is agitation on both their faces and Scorpius looks like he’s going to snap any moment now. No one tries to stop them.
"You did that on purpose", Scorpius replies angrily and then he sees Rose, right behind Tillonius. Their eyes meet for a second and then she looks away.
She notices that Scorpius is alone, against Till and few of his friends. She knows all of them, would even call them her friends too. Should she say something?
"Till", she starts and he turns to her, surprised that he hasn’t noticed her before.
"You’re right", he tells her quietly "there are too many people watching. We need to do this differently"
She doesn’t tell him that that’s not what she means. She’s just glad she can stop this without getting too much attention herself.
Till pushes past Scorpius, shoving him with his shoulder and Rose can see his lips moving but she cannot hear what he says. She knows it’s nothing good. Not looking at Scorpius, she leaves the circle of onlookers, not sure where she’s going.
He looked as if he was sleeping, but Rose knew he wasn’t. With a trembling hand, she grabbed the blanket and took a look at his body. She gasped in shock.
There was nothing to be seen. No wounds, no broken bones, no bandages. Nothing.
But she knew what he had looked like when he was brought in. She still remembered the way his arm was twisted, so unnatural. There had been blood everyone, and an open wound at his head, on the left side, just above his eye. It had been a week and still, he was unconscious.
All of his wounds had apparently been treated- he had been in St. Mungo’s for a few days or so she had heard - but they had to wait until he woke up by himself. Waking him magically after a wound to the head like that could damage the brain, Rose knew that from one of Uncle George’s accidents.
She sat down on the bed and put her hand on his cheek. She pushed a few strands of his blond hair away from his eyes and he didn’t react. Of course he didn’t but some childish part of Rose had wished that he did.
Once again, it was hard to breathe, a feeling, she had become accustomed to. She drew in a shaking breath, trying to calm herself but she felt the tears coming she was trying so hard to hold back. It was her fault that he was lying here, her fault because he had trusted her and she had used that trust to hurt him.
It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this but it had. And the worst part was that no one even knew. Except her friends. And her.
"You should be happy we’re even talking to you after what you did", Lyssa says angrily when Rose doesn’t immediately approve of their plan.
After the disaster last week, none of her friends have talked to her until today, and she’s happy that Lyssa finally acknowledges her again, even if it’s just for a fight. She really wants her best friend back after a week with only Albus for company, who constantly tries to find out what happened between her and her friends. She doesn’t want to tell anyone.
"It’s just...", Rose starts, but Lyssa already turns around to join the others in front of the fireplace in their common room.
It’s just a game, she tells herself, they just want a little fun, they just want to see him a little humiliated. Nothing’s going to happen.
She gets up, torn between joining Albus, who’s sitting near the window, working on what looks like the Potions assignment and her friends, making plans in front of the fireplace.
She makes a decision.
The rest of the school thought it was an accident, a stupid broom accident. They thought it was madness that he went out on the pitch in that weather. He wasn’t even on his house team! He must have lost control when the lightning hit his broom and it malfunctioned, sending him falling from the sky.
The broom was damaged beyond repair, thrown away before someone even thought of inspecting it. And he wasn’t awake to tell them what had really happened. He was on that broom because of her, for her. And it had been tampered with, and when he went on it, she had known that. It was supposed to teach him a lesson but it had spiraled out of control.
"I’m so sorry", Rose cried "I’m so sorry, so sorry", she repeated time after time "I’m so sorry, Scorpius"
The snow is falling harder with every second that Scorpius comes closer to the Quidditch Pitch. Rose’s heart is racing and everything feels wrong. She has half a mind to just jump up and stop him, but she doesn’t.
When Scorpius reaches the Pitch, Till comes forward from behind the stands. They’re hard to see and the howling wind makes it impossible to hear a thing.
But Rose knows what they’re talking about. When Till offers the broom, Scorpius slaps his hand away and the broom falls onto the snow covered ground. This is Rose’s sign, it’s her turn to show herself now, to show Scorpius that Till’s offer is true. She knows it isn’t, that it’s just the bait to get him on the broom.
Lyssa shoves her lightly and she gets up. She sees the surprise in Scorpius’s face but maybe she just imagines it because she can’t really see his face with all the falling snowflakes obscuring her vision.
He thinks that everything will right itself when he flies for her, that this is his way to prove that she means something to him, that he’s worthy of her and that her friends will forgive her. Rose thinks that they will never accept them together, and that he should see through Till’s lie and know that, too.
She hears thunder, but it’s still far away. She hopes that everything will be over by the time the storm will reach Hogwarts.
At her appearance, she sees Scorpius picking up the discarded broom, sees Till mounting his own. The snitch is released and everything starts, but it has started long before this, maybe long before them. Rose doesn’t really want to watch.
"Rose?", a voice suddenly asked behind her. Feeling caught, she turned around and came face to face with Uncle Neville.
"Uncle- I mean, Professor Longbottom", she stammered. "What.. what are you doing here?"
"I was looking for information on young Mr Malfoy’s condition", he replied, eyeing her warily. "I wasn’t aware that you two were - ?", he left the last word out, gesturing towards them, obviously not knowing how to refer to them. Rose didn’t finish the sentence for him.
His lips are soft and Rose isn’t really sure how this happened. Just a moment ago they were working on their Charms project and now they are here, with one of his hands around her waist and the other in her hair.
She pushes him away, gently. They really shouldn’t be doing this, she isn’t even sure she likes him.
Scorpius’s face shows her how nervous he is even though he’s trying to hide it. His right hand, the one that had grabbed her waist seconds ago, clenches and unclenches rhythmically.
And there is something in his face, maybe in his eyes, that intrigues her, has always intrigued her and she can still feel his lips on hers and she admits to herself that she thinks about him quite a lot, more than she should, and maybe this is a mistake, and maybe this will blow up in her face, but she has to grab his tie and pull him down to her until she smiles against his lips and doesn’t stop kissing him for quite a while.
Professor Longbottom seemed to be waiting for her to say something, but she avoided his eyes and looked out of the window, where it was hailing and the wind was blowing so hard, it seemed that summer was a long way off.
Quidditch had been put on hold since the accident, which had provoked an outcry throughout the school. No one really felt sorry for Scorpius’s condition. He only had a few friends and was an outsider even in his own house. No one really liked to associate with someone whose last name was Malfoy.
Rose’s parents had always shielded her from stories of the war, her whole family had. Most of her knowledge came from books and her History of Magic lessons with Professor Binns. Up until this year, she had never known just how much history there was between her family and the Malfoys.
Oh yes, she had known that they weren’t friendly with each other back when her parents went to school. She knew Draco Malfoy was a Death Eater, everyone knew that, just as everyone knew that he had led the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.
But Narcissa Malfoy had saved her Uncle Harry’s life by lying to Voldemort, that she knew, too. She never thought that there was more to that story, than to families on different sides of the war. She didn’t know it was much more personal.
She got lost in thought as she looked out the window where the hail had turned into rain, drowning everything. This was how she felt. But the rain would stop any moment, any day now. Unlike the voices in her head that told what she had done, again and again.
She needed to put an end to this, as best as she could. She knew there was no way to undo the damage she had done, but she had to try her best to be able to forgive herself one day. And have him forgive her, too.
It’s quiet when Rose tiptoes down the stairs into their kitchen. It’s dark outside and she can see snow falling. She loves Christmas at home, with the tree in the living room that is charmed to stay alight with candles all through the night.
Rose smiles when she sees the can of cocoa on the kitchen counter. Her mother must have known she would sneak down for her favorite drink. It’s her own personal Christmas tradition.
She takes a cup and wants to seat herself in front of the Christmas tree when she notices her parents in the living room. She isn’t sure why she hasn’t noticed them before and, more importantly why they haven’t noticed her, but they are silent, sharing a blanket and seem to be somewhere else with their thoughts. Rose doesn’t want to disturb them.
Suddenly, her mother speaks: "Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday"
Hermione takes her hands from under the blanket and traces something on her forearm that must have been there a long time ago, for Rose cannot see anything but healthy flesh from where she stands.
Rose blushes when her father kisses her mother’s arm. With all the fighting and bickering that her parents always do, she sometimes forgets the intimacy between them. Rose feels like she’s intruding on their privacy.
"She’s long gone", Ron murmurs softly and Rose wonders who he means. But a strange feeling tells her that this is about the war, about one of these things that they never tell her and she thinks that she needs to stay to here this, because otherwise she will never know.
She later wishes to have left at that moment, to have left her parents to their privacy and intimacy, for that night she has nightmares of her mother being tortured on the floor of the Malfoys’ drawing room and everyone there looks exactly like Scorpius.
"Rose..?", her uncle asked again, after she had been quiet for some time, ignoring him, lost in thought.
"There’s -", she began, trembling with the decision she had just made "There is something I need to tell you, Uncle Neville". She was still facing the window, not facing him just yet. She was unsure on how to begin. How did someone tell something as horrible as this? How would she tell this?
She sat down on Scorpius’s bed and slowly took his cold hand in hers. She wished she could look into his stormy eyes, just to get the courage to do this. Closing her eyes instead, she gulped and started.
"Scorpius’s fall wasn’t an accident."
It doesn’t surprise Rose that eventually, they’re discovered. One can only keep a secret for so long and trading kisses by the lake isn’t all that secretive even if one is hidden by some trees.
Lyssa and Till are probably looking for a secluded snogging spot when they literally stumble upon Rose and Scorpius.
There are tears and screams and Rose just wishes that the world would stop and she can go back to make sure they are never discovered.
When Rose wants to rush after her friends, Scorpius stops her. Time seems to stop and they just look into each other’s eyes but then Rose frees her hand and runs after her friends without looking back, tears still evident on her face. Scorpius doesn’t move for a long time, his hand still raised as if he’s holding her.
It was coincidence that Rose sat on Scorpius‘s bed when he finally opened his eyes three weeks later or maybe it wasn’t. When she wasn’t in detention, she spent most of her time in the Infirmary, doing homework or just waiting, looking out the window, hoping for the sun to come.
After Rose’s confession, there had been heavy repercussions for all students involved, and the threat of a lawsuit from the Malfoy’s still hung in the air. But the worst of it was the disappointment in her parent’s eyes.
"Rose?", Scorpius breathed out and his voice sounded raspy and tired.
Rose jumped from her place by the window, tears in her eyes. Finally.
"I’m so sorry", she managed to say through her tears, but they were happy tears this time. She hugged him hard, and buried her face in his neck and then she felt his hands, stroking her hair so very softly.
She knew there was a lot she had to do, that she had a lot to own up to, and she was ready for it. She would work, beg and plead for his forgiveness until he would smile at her again. And then she could forgive herself.
When she sat back at last, still holding on to him, Scorpius just said: "Hey"
She could feel the sun coming through the window behind them, could feel its rays touching her skin and she smiled through her tears.
Scorpius approaches her table after they’re partnered together in Charms. Rose doesn’t really know him, they’re in different houses and haven’t worked together until now. She has seen him play Quidditch of course, but he’s rather quiet in class. She hopes they can finish this assignment quickly and without problems.
"Hey", he says when he’s reached her and then a slow smile begins to form on his face. Rose smiles back.
Author/Artist: ama_dare
Prompt: A13: Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right --Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles
Prompt submitted by: nathalieweasley
Pairing(s): Rose/Scorpius
Word Count: ~4,300
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Just for some quick clarification: The flashbacks are not in chronological order! Other than that, I’d like to thank the amazing S for all her hard work and her tireless explanations. I can’t thank you enough <3
Summary: It’s was all just one big disaster and Rose didn’t know how to make it better at all.
Rose sighed. Her eyes hurt and her head was killing her. There was a lump in the back of her throat that she couldn’t swallow. She was hunched up in her bed in the dorm she shared with her fellow Gryffindors.
It was quiet. Everyone had already gone to classes but she just couldn’t force herself to get up. She felt lost and alone, and even breathing hurt so much. Whenever she tried to calm herself, a new flood of tears seemed to arrive. There were days when she thought that it just wouldn’t get better, couldn’t get better.
Remembering how things had been before was almost impossible, like the happy girl in her memories just couldn’t be herself. She felt no connection to the girl she used to be.
Everything she had believed about herself: that she was courageous, outspoken, clever, loving, so moral and a good person… well, she had proved that that was not the person that she and everyone else thought she was. How had she ended up like this? When did she become this horrible person? And what for? It all seemed so meaningless now, so irrelevant.
She is pressed against one of the bookcases in the back of the library. His breath is warm on her neck and his fingers draw circles on her waist, under her school blouse. She has to laugh.
"Stop it, someone could catch us any moment", she says but she doesn’t sound very convincing. Or convinced.
"No one ever comes back here", he whispers huskily in her ear and she shivers. His hands are wandering higher and she finds it hard to breathe. A moan escapes her lips as his hands stroke her nipples through her bra. They have never gone this far before but she doesn’t want him to stop. Everything feels good, feels right.
His lips find hers and she kisses him back, heated. She pulls him even closer and his knee finds his way between her legs and oh- it feels just so good. She presses herself closer, chasing the feeling that’s building up low in her belly and that’s making her heart beat faster.
"Rose", he moans between kisses and she can hear that his voice is shaking, that he isn’t his usual calm and collected self anymore and she likes that she has this effect on him.
They break apart when they hear someone drop a book on the other side of the shelf. Their faces are red and his hair is tousled. Rose thinks that hers probably looks like something exploded in there.
She tucks her blouse back into her skirt, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She’s still breathing faster than normal and she can feel the heat in her face. He is watching her, smiling, and she smiles back.
She drops a kiss on the side of his lips before she makes her way back to her table, grinning like a fool for the rest of the day.
Rose closed her eyes. The year had started so good and it was all in shambles now. It took all the power she had left, but she had to admit to herself that she could not continue to blame this mess on them. She had to accept that a large part of this blame was on herself. She had done this and while her friends had influenced her, had tried to manipulate her, she had made the choices herself. And she had to live with them.
This isn’t right, Rose thinks. They are taking things a little too far. The wind is cold and she’s freezing. She tries to huddle deeper into her cloak but the cold follows her. She is standing at the Quidditch Pitch and wishes more than anything to be in her common room, enjoying a hot cocoa in front of the warm fireplace
What can really happen? She tries to reason with herself. This is one stupid prank, the laughs are going to last a few days and then everyone will forget.
Her best friend must have felt her doubts for she sends Rose an encouraging smile. Rose smiles back, but it seems empty. She watches the boys and when they’re finished most of them hide in the Quidditch stands, Rose and her best friend included.
And then, in the distance, she can see the boy that makes her heart beat faster come closer. She just wishes that everything will be over soon.
Still shaking, she got off of the bed. She didn’t bother to shower or even do her hair. She put on her school uniform and left the dorm. There was no one in the common room and no one in the corridors that led to the hospital wing.
She tried to open the door quietly, hoping to evade Madam Dumont but the old door creaked so loud that the nurse was by her side immediately. She took one look at Rose’s harried form and motioned for her to sit on one of the beds while she left for the storage room.
Only when she was gone did Rose dare to really look around. She didn’t have to look long, there was only one bed currently occupied. She gnawed at her lips, suddenly not so sure anymore. But before she could make a decision, before she knew if she was ready to do this, Madame Dumont came back. She handed Rose a phial of Calming Draught, insisting she take this immediately. Without saying anything, Rose downed the contents in one go.
Rose immediately notices that something is wrong when she sits down at the table for breakfast. She wants to ask what is going on but her best friend Lyssa points to her boyfriend and motions for Rose to be quiet. Tillonius’s plate is untouched, instead of eating he is hunched over the morning issue of The Daily Prophet. Rose thinks he’s reading it, but his eyes are unmoving and unfocused.
"What’s wrong?", Rose whispers, and someone pushes a copy of the newspaper towards her.
Lyssa opens it for her on page five and points to a small article at the top of the page.
Rest of Malfoy assets unfrozen after 20 years of legal dispute, the headline reads. Rose is surprised, she’s never heard about this legal dispute before or that there were assets still frozen more than twenty years after the war. It seems so long ago, but she knows that there are people who don’t feel that way, who weren’t kept away from everything like she was.
"Being angry at the past does nothing but keep us in it", Hermione Granger once told her daughter. "We need to work towards the future, to ensure that something like that will never happen again. That’s why I’m working with the Ministry. I want our world to move forward from all the hate and become a place where everyone can feel safe."
Rose knows that Till’s family suffered heavily in the war and she knows that’s the reason he doesn’t get along with children of families’ that he knows supported the Death Eaters. Rose has tried arguing with him, of course, that he can’t hold the children responsible for their families’ actions long before they were born, but with an uncle and a grandmother in St. Mungos’ Thickey ward, these arguments always fall on deaf ears.
"It’s like they’re paying them", Lyssa mutters and Rose doesn’t argue with her, even though she knows she could, starting with the fact that the Malfoys obviously had to fight for this. She chances a look at Scorpius, but he’s sitting with his back to her and she can’t see his face.
"Would you like to stay here for a while or would you like to lie down back in your dorm?", the young nurse asked.
"I’d like to stay here, if I can", Rose mumbled.
"You seem really stressed. Would you like to talk about it? It wasn’t that long ago that I was in school here. I know how hard it can be, how exhausting." Rose didn’t look up, didn’t want to look in her eyes. She didn’t deserve this kindness.
"No... it’s just... I’d just like to lie down please. I just need some quiet, get away, you know?"
"I understand. Well, if you need anything, I’ll be in my office. I’m going to notify your teachers that you’re not going to attend classes today. You can really come to me with anything", she repeated and with that, the young nurse turned to leave.
"Did you -" , Rose started before she could stop herself. Madame Dumont turned back around and smiled at her kindly
"Did I what, Rose?", she implored.
"Did you ever make a mistake so big, that you thought it was impossible to undo? Impossible to be forgiven?"
Madame Dumont looked at her for a long time before she responded: "I - Yes, I did. I was very young and very stupid. I wish I could have changed what I did, but it doesn’t work like that. I had to do a lot to be forgiven, but what was possibly the hardest was to forgive myself. There were days when I didn’t think I could live with myself. But I’m here now and it’s okay. And that’s how it’s going to be with you. You’re a good person Rose, I know that from all the times you’ve been down here, taking care of your friends or your cousins, when one of them managed to fall off their broom again.", Madame Dumont smiled. "Whatever it is you did, it’s going to be all right."
Rose finally looked up and managed a small smile. "Thank you, really."
But you don’t know what I did, she added in her head If you did, you wouldn’t have said these things to me.
Madame Dumont smiled again and Rose looked after her, until the woman with the short black hair disappeared at the end of the hall into her office. Rose waited a few minutes, in which she just concentrated on breathing and then she got up again and took small steps to the only other occupied bed in the hospital wing. She closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself before she pushed the curtains back.
When Rose reaches the group, things are already heated up. There are books lying on the floor, next to a broken quill. Rose recognizes the overdone green and black feather.
"Listen here, Malfoy", Till growls "You better not try that again"
He’s closing in on Scorpius, ready to push him into the next wall. There is agitation on both their faces and Scorpius looks like he’s going to snap any moment now. No one tries to stop them.
"You did that on purpose", Scorpius replies angrily and then he sees Rose, right behind Tillonius. Their eyes meet for a second and then she looks away.
She notices that Scorpius is alone, against Till and few of his friends. She knows all of them, would even call them her friends too. Should she say something?
"Till", she starts and he turns to her, surprised that he hasn’t noticed her before.
"You’re right", he tells her quietly "there are too many people watching. We need to do this differently"
She doesn’t tell him that that’s not what she means. She’s just glad she can stop this without getting too much attention herself.
Till pushes past Scorpius, shoving him with his shoulder and Rose can see his lips moving but she cannot hear what he says. She knows it’s nothing good. Not looking at Scorpius, she leaves the circle of onlookers, not sure where she’s going.
He looked as if he was sleeping, but Rose knew he wasn’t. With a trembling hand, she grabbed the blanket and took a look at his body. She gasped in shock.
There was nothing to be seen. No wounds, no broken bones, no bandages. Nothing.
But she knew what he had looked like when he was brought in. She still remembered the way his arm was twisted, so unnatural. There had been blood everyone, and an open wound at his head, on the left side, just above his eye. It had been a week and still, he was unconscious.
All of his wounds had apparently been treated- he had been in St. Mungo’s for a few days or so she had heard - but they had to wait until he woke up by himself. Waking him magically after a wound to the head like that could damage the brain, Rose knew that from one of Uncle George’s accidents.
She sat down on the bed and put her hand on his cheek. She pushed a few strands of his blond hair away from his eyes and he didn’t react. Of course he didn’t but some childish part of Rose had wished that he did.
Once again, it was hard to breathe, a feeling, she had become accustomed to. She drew in a shaking breath, trying to calm herself but she felt the tears coming she was trying so hard to hold back. It was her fault that he was lying here, her fault because he had trusted her and she had used that trust to hurt him.
It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this but it had. And the worst part was that no one even knew. Except her friends. And her.
"You should be happy we’re even talking to you after what you did", Lyssa says angrily when Rose doesn’t immediately approve of their plan.
After the disaster last week, none of her friends have talked to her until today, and she’s happy that Lyssa finally acknowledges her again, even if it’s just for a fight. She really wants her best friend back after a week with only Albus for company, who constantly tries to find out what happened between her and her friends. She doesn’t want to tell anyone.
"It’s just...", Rose starts, but Lyssa already turns around to join the others in front of the fireplace in their common room.
It’s just a game, she tells herself, they just want a little fun, they just want to see him a little humiliated. Nothing’s going to happen.
She gets up, torn between joining Albus, who’s sitting near the window, working on what looks like the Potions assignment and her friends, making plans in front of the fireplace.
She makes a decision.
The rest of the school thought it was an accident, a stupid broom accident. They thought it was madness that he went out on the pitch in that weather. He wasn’t even on his house team! He must have lost control when the lightning hit his broom and it malfunctioned, sending him falling from the sky.
The broom was damaged beyond repair, thrown away before someone even thought of inspecting it. And he wasn’t awake to tell them what had really happened. He was on that broom because of her, for her. And it had been tampered with, and when he went on it, she had known that. It was supposed to teach him a lesson but it had spiraled out of control.
"I’m so sorry", Rose cried "I’m so sorry, so sorry", she repeated time after time "I’m so sorry, Scorpius"
The snow is falling harder with every second that Scorpius comes closer to the Quidditch Pitch. Rose’s heart is racing and everything feels wrong. She has half a mind to just jump up and stop him, but she doesn’t.
When Scorpius reaches the Pitch, Till comes forward from behind the stands. They’re hard to see and the howling wind makes it impossible to hear a thing.
But Rose knows what they’re talking about. When Till offers the broom, Scorpius slaps his hand away and the broom falls onto the snow covered ground. This is Rose’s sign, it’s her turn to show herself now, to show Scorpius that Till’s offer is true. She knows it isn’t, that it’s just the bait to get him on the broom.
Lyssa shoves her lightly and she gets up. She sees the surprise in Scorpius’s face but maybe she just imagines it because she can’t really see his face with all the falling snowflakes obscuring her vision.
He thinks that everything will right itself when he flies for her, that this is his way to prove that she means something to him, that he’s worthy of her and that her friends will forgive her. Rose thinks that they will never accept them together, and that he should see through Till’s lie and know that, too.
She hears thunder, but it’s still far away. She hopes that everything will be over by the time the storm will reach Hogwarts.
At her appearance, she sees Scorpius picking up the discarded broom, sees Till mounting his own. The snitch is released and everything starts, but it has started long before this, maybe long before them. Rose doesn’t really want to watch.
"Rose?", a voice suddenly asked behind her. Feeling caught, she turned around and came face to face with Uncle Neville.
"Uncle- I mean, Professor Longbottom", she stammered. "What.. what are you doing here?"
"I was looking for information on young Mr Malfoy’s condition", he replied, eyeing her warily. "I wasn’t aware that you two were - ?", he left the last word out, gesturing towards them, obviously not knowing how to refer to them. Rose didn’t finish the sentence for him.
His lips are soft and Rose isn’t really sure how this happened. Just a moment ago they were working on their Charms project and now they are here, with one of his hands around her waist and the other in her hair.
She pushes him away, gently. They really shouldn’t be doing this, she isn’t even sure she likes him.
Scorpius’s face shows her how nervous he is even though he’s trying to hide it. His right hand, the one that had grabbed her waist seconds ago, clenches and unclenches rhythmically.
And there is something in his face, maybe in his eyes, that intrigues her, has always intrigued her and she can still feel his lips on hers and she admits to herself that she thinks about him quite a lot, more than she should, and maybe this is a mistake, and maybe this will blow up in her face, but she has to grab his tie and pull him down to her until she smiles against his lips and doesn’t stop kissing him for quite a while.
Professor Longbottom seemed to be waiting for her to say something, but she avoided his eyes and looked out of the window, where it was hailing and the wind was blowing so hard, it seemed that summer was a long way off.
Quidditch had been put on hold since the accident, which had provoked an outcry throughout the school. No one really felt sorry for Scorpius’s condition. He only had a few friends and was an outsider even in his own house. No one really liked to associate with someone whose last name was Malfoy.
Rose’s parents had always shielded her from stories of the war, her whole family had. Most of her knowledge came from books and her History of Magic lessons with Professor Binns. Up until this year, she had never known just how much history there was between her family and the Malfoys.
Oh yes, she had known that they weren’t friendly with each other back when her parents went to school. She knew Draco Malfoy was a Death Eater, everyone knew that, just as everyone knew that he had led the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.
But Narcissa Malfoy had saved her Uncle Harry’s life by lying to Voldemort, that she knew, too. She never thought that there was more to that story, than to families on different sides of the war. She didn’t know it was much more personal.
She got lost in thought as she looked out the window where the hail had turned into rain, drowning everything. This was how she felt. But the rain would stop any moment, any day now. Unlike the voices in her head that told what she had done, again and again.
She needed to put an end to this, as best as she could. She knew there was no way to undo the damage she had done, but she had to try her best to be able to forgive herself one day. And have him forgive her, too.
It’s quiet when Rose tiptoes down the stairs into their kitchen. It’s dark outside and she can see snow falling. She loves Christmas at home, with the tree in the living room that is charmed to stay alight with candles all through the night.
Rose smiles when she sees the can of cocoa on the kitchen counter. Her mother must have known she would sneak down for her favorite drink. It’s her own personal Christmas tradition.
She takes a cup and wants to seat herself in front of the Christmas tree when she notices her parents in the living room. She isn’t sure why she hasn’t noticed them before and, more importantly why they haven’t noticed her, but they are silent, sharing a blanket and seem to be somewhere else with their thoughts. Rose doesn’t want to disturb them.
Suddenly, her mother speaks: "Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday"
Hermione takes her hands from under the blanket and traces something on her forearm that must have been there a long time ago, for Rose cannot see anything but healthy flesh from where she stands.
Rose blushes when her father kisses her mother’s arm. With all the fighting and bickering that her parents always do, she sometimes forgets the intimacy between them. Rose feels like she’s intruding on their privacy.
"She’s long gone", Ron murmurs softly and Rose wonders who he means. But a strange feeling tells her that this is about the war, about one of these things that they never tell her and she thinks that she needs to stay to here this, because otherwise she will never know.
She later wishes to have left at that moment, to have left her parents to their privacy and intimacy, for that night she has nightmares of her mother being tortured on the floor of the Malfoys’ drawing room and everyone there looks exactly like Scorpius.
"Rose..?", her uncle asked again, after she had been quiet for some time, ignoring him, lost in thought.
"There’s -", she began, trembling with the decision she had just made "There is something I need to tell you, Uncle Neville". She was still facing the window, not facing him just yet. She was unsure on how to begin. How did someone tell something as horrible as this? How would she tell this?
She sat down on Scorpius’s bed and slowly took his cold hand in hers. She wished she could look into his stormy eyes, just to get the courage to do this. Closing her eyes instead, she gulped and started.
"Scorpius’s fall wasn’t an accident."
It doesn’t surprise Rose that eventually, they’re discovered. One can only keep a secret for so long and trading kisses by the lake isn’t all that secretive even if one is hidden by some trees.
Lyssa and Till are probably looking for a secluded snogging spot when they literally stumble upon Rose and Scorpius.
There are tears and screams and Rose just wishes that the world would stop and she can go back to make sure they are never discovered.
When Rose wants to rush after her friends, Scorpius stops her. Time seems to stop and they just look into each other’s eyes but then Rose frees her hand and runs after her friends without looking back, tears still evident on her face. Scorpius doesn’t move for a long time, his hand still raised as if he’s holding her.
It was coincidence that Rose sat on Scorpius‘s bed when he finally opened his eyes three weeks later or maybe it wasn’t. When she wasn’t in detention, she spent most of her time in the Infirmary, doing homework or just waiting, looking out the window, hoping for the sun to come.
After Rose’s confession, there had been heavy repercussions for all students involved, and the threat of a lawsuit from the Malfoy’s still hung in the air. But the worst of it was the disappointment in her parent’s eyes.
"Rose?", Scorpius breathed out and his voice sounded raspy and tired.
Rose jumped from her place by the window, tears in her eyes. Finally.
"I’m so sorry", she managed to say through her tears, but they were happy tears this time. She hugged him hard, and buried her face in his neck and then she felt his hands, stroking her hair so very softly.
She knew there was a lot she had to do, that she had a lot to own up to, and she was ready for it. She would work, beg and plead for his forgiveness until he would smile at her again. And then she could forgive herself.
When she sat back at last, still holding on to him, Scorpius just said: "Hey"
She could feel the sun coming through the window behind them, could feel its rays touching her skin and she smiled through her tears.
Scorpius approaches her table after they’re partnered together in Charms. Rose doesn’t really know him, they’re in different houses and haven’t worked together until now. She has seen him play Quidditch of course, but he’s rather quiet in class. She hopes they can finish this assignment quickly and without problems.
"Hey", he says when he’s reached her and then a slow smile begins to form on his face. Rose smiles back.