fic-All Alone
Huntington’s Disease. I just stared at the piece of paper that shared the test result that would change my life. I knew there was a good possibility I had it. But I never wanted to believe or know for that matter that I had it. I was ok with not knowing.
“I’m sorry,” House said, with the sincerest concerned look on his face.
“I did not authorize this test,” I said calmly, “you had no right! This is my business and my business only.”
“The health and well being of my team IS my business. I count on you on a day to day basis and you will have days that you are not one hundred percent and...”
“AND, I did not want to know,” I interrupted, “I know that one day I’d eventually find out. But not like this House.”
“Thirteen,” he said as I crumpled up the paper. I tossed it into the trash and picked my bag up and left his office and I ran. I made it all the way to my car tossed my bag in and drove off. I fumed in my car all the way home, I didn’t know what I was more mad about, House running the test without my consent or the fact I have this disease. I got home and collapsed onto my bed, and cried. This isn’t supposed to happen to me. I never did anything wrong. I went over all the possible reason why this has happened to me. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I stared at my reflection, the water dripping off my face and decided to go out.
I went to the Ladies Lounge, a bar I frequented. I was sure of my mission and made my way to the bar to order a drink.
“Hey Remy baby, how you doin’ sweetie,” Frannie the bartender asked.
“I’ve had better days,” I replied.
“Aw that sucks sweetie.”
“Yeah. You know my usual.”
“I do,” she said.
“Keep ‘em coming,” I said as I walked away. I downed my drinks and went to the dance floor. I danced by myself until a gorgeous brunette started dancing with me. We danced a couple songs and I went and bought drinks. As we stood there waiting for drinks, she kissed me, and we kept kissing. Jackpot! I thought to myself.
“You’re lips are like sugar,” she said.
“I’ll call you sugar,” I said to her and held my drink up to toast. We downed a few more drinks, I was buzzed and she was clearly tipsy. So we danced more, occasionally making out. We left the bar and walked back to my apartment, I lived two streets over. As soon as I opened the door she was all over me. I led her to my room and we took our passion to the bed. As I started to strip she took out a white pill and popped it into her mouth, she looked at me and offered me one. I shook my head; I pulled a bottle of vodka out of the side table and downed it. I wanted to be as far out as she was, legally that is. I don’t remember too much of the night, but I know that I fucked her brains out.
I woke up the next morning and my head was killing me. I looked over and saw my brunette one nightstand lying there. I got up and went to the bathroom; fuck I look like hell I muttered. I went and showered and just as I got out she woke.
“You coming back to bed,” she called to me.
“I can’t, I have to be at work in forty-five minutes,” I said as I dressed.
“Oh,” she said kind of disappointed and started getting dressed her self. I was brushing my teeth when she came over to me, “give me a call sometime,” she said handing me a piece of paper with her number on it. I looked at her and took the piece of paper.
“Ok,” I said as I spit the toothpaste out. She gave me a kiss and made her way out of my apartment. I tossed the piece of paper into the trashcan. I made it to work surprisingly on time. I sat down, exhausted and Foreman was the first to call me out.
“Long night,” he asked.
“Appears that way,” I replied somewhat sarcastically just as House walked in and slapped a patient chart on the table.
“Twenty-seven year old, female was found passed out at a bus stop with no prior medical conditions. She’s still unconscious and,” House paused, “whoa, Thirteen, no make up. Sour face. Did we hug the porcelain god all night?”
“You assume wrong House,” I replied, “heat stroke?” I tried to steer the conversation away from me but House still had his eye on me as we all spit out what we thought might be wrong with her.
“Kuttner and Taub, MRI. Thirteen and Foreman, run blood tests and cancel out what I already know isn’t wrong with her.” I got up and hurried to the patient’s room to draw the blood. Forman and I drew her blood in complete silence. I knew he wanted to say something, but he waited. We sat in the lab in complete silence for a few minutes.
“Foreman, just say what you need to say,” I said finally breaking the ice.
“We know about your Huntington’s Disease.”
“Yeah, and?”
“There are medical trials for Huntington’s Disease that you could do and,”
“No,” I said cutting him off, “I don’t need a false hope. I’m just going to go on until I die.”
“I’m just saying that with the medical advances now,”
“I said no. I don’t want it so drop it,” I said sternly. And he was quiet after that. Finally the long day had ended. I went home and did what I did last night. I did it every night this week. I picked up random girls and took them home. Night after night, I did the same routine. Everyone knew I was having a bad week; only Foreman was man enough to say anything.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
“I don’t need you to tell me what I can and cannot do.”
“You are hurting yourself, and you’re going to hurt someone.”
“I don’t need you to preach to me Foreman. Mind your own business.”
I went home pissed off; I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do. So again, I went out, drank and found another girl. This girl rocked my world. I almost regretted having to kick her out of my bed that morning. But alas all I wanted out of her was sex, a one-night stand and that was it. I got up the next morning and started getting ready for work.
“Hey there,” she called to me.
“Hi.”
“Coming back to bed or…” she said trailing off.
“Or what,” I asked as I heard my lamp break and a thud, “what the…” I looked back and I saw her on the floor, seizing. I ran to her and called 911. The ambulance got there and I rode with her to the hospital. I sat there and I couldn’t think, I know nothing about this girl. I can’t do anything but let the emergency room doctors help her. When we got there Dr. Cameron was there waiting. I was still blank when I walked in getting the vital stats she asked me, “what’s her name?”
“I don’t know,” I answered kind of ashamed. She just stared at me as she walked away. I went upstairs and went to the locker room. I changed into a pair of scrubs and went to House’s office. A few minutes later House walks in and hands us all patient files. It was hers.
“Twenty-four year old, female, had a seizure this morning. As Thirteen knows,” he said as everyone looked at me, “no cause for seizure, and has seen four different doctors in the past three years with same result. None.” I spaced out, chiming in every once in a while. What am I doing? This isn’t me. I couldn’t even tell anyone what her name was. As a matter of fact I didn’t know any names of the girls I slept with this week. What the fuck is wrong with me? I went home that night and cried. I cannot continue on this self-destructive path anymore. After about what seemed like hours, there was a knock on my door. I got up and clean my face a bit and answered it.
“Hey,” it was Dr. Cameron.
“Um, hey.”
“I know, of all people to show up on your door step,” she said and stared at me. I let her in and led her to the couch.
“So, what brings you here,” I asked even though I knew already.
“You can’t go on like this. You can’t keep hurting yourself like this.”
“Look, I know this. But I can’t control myself. I don’t have anyone in my life anymore. My dad’s I don’t know where and my mom is dead.”
“But you can’t have one night stands to fill that void.”
I don’t know what to do,” I cried, “I am so alone. And knowing that I’m sick has made me fully aware of how alone I am.”
“You’re not alone Remy,” she said putting her hand on my knee; a shiver went up my spine. I laughed.
“I haven’t heard my name in a while, I’m used to Thirteen I guess,” I said and placed my hand on hers. I felt a sort of excitement that I hadn’t felt in so long.
“Thirteen is cute, but you were always Remy to me,” she said moving closer. I stared at her for a whole second, and I went for it. I kissed her; she backed away for a second and stared into my eyes. For a second I thought I misread the signals, but then she kissed me. A full on kiss and I felt sparks fly. I laid back and she lay on top of me and kissed my neck. I just held on to her, held her so I wouldn’t loose her.
“Are you for real about this Cameron,” I asked because my heart can’t take another break.
“I am more sure of this than anything in my life.” I smiled and held her, I held her all night. And I woke to her face and I finally felt whole.
.
“I’m sorry,” House said, with the sincerest concerned look on his face.
“I did not authorize this test,” I said calmly, “you had no right! This is my business and my business only.”
“The health and well being of my team IS my business. I count on you on a day to day basis and you will have days that you are not one hundred percent and...”
“AND, I did not want to know,” I interrupted, “I know that one day I’d eventually find out. But not like this House.”
“Thirteen,” he said as I crumpled up the paper. I tossed it into the trash and picked my bag up and left his office and I ran. I made it all the way to my car tossed my bag in and drove off. I fumed in my car all the way home, I didn’t know what I was more mad about, House running the test without my consent or the fact I have this disease. I got home and collapsed onto my bed, and cried. This isn’t supposed to happen to me. I never did anything wrong. I went over all the possible reason why this has happened to me. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I stared at my reflection, the water dripping off my face and decided to go out.
I went to the Ladies Lounge, a bar I frequented. I was sure of my mission and made my way to the bar to order a drink.
“Hey Remy baby, how you doin’ sweetie,” Frannie the bartender asked.
“I’ve had better days,” I replied.
“Aw that sucks sweetie.”
“Yeah. You know my usual.”
“I do,” she said.
“Keep ‘em coming,” I said as I walked away. I downed my drinks and went to the dance floor. I danced by myself until a gorgeous brunette started dancing with me. We danced a couple songs and I went and bought drinks. As we stood there waiting for drinks, she kissed me, and we kept kissing. Jackpot! I thought to myself.
“You’re lips are like sugar,” she said.
“I’ll call you sugar,” I said to her and held my drink up to toast. We downed a few more drinks, I was buzzed and she was clearly tipsy. So we danced more, occasionally making out. We left the bar and walked back to my apartment, I lived two streets over. As soon as I opened the door she was all over me. I led her to my room and we took our passion to the bed. As I started to strip she took out a white pill and popped it into her mouth, she looked at me and offered me one. I shook my head; I pulled a bottle of vodka out of the side table and downed it. I wanted to be as far out as she was, legally that is. I don’t remember too much of the night, but I know that I fucked her brains out.
I woke up the next morning and my head was killing me. I looked over and saw my brunette one nightstand lying there. I got up and went to the bathroom; fuck I look like hell I muttered. I went and showered and just as I got out she woke.
“You coming back to bed,” she called to me.
“I can’t, I have to be at work in forty-five minutes,” I said as I dressed.
“Oh,” she said kind of disappointed and started getting dressed her self. I was brushing my teeth when she came over to me, “give me a call sometime,” she said handing me a piece of paper with her number on it. I looked at her and took the piece of paper.
“Ok,” I said as I spit the toothpaste out. She gave me a kiss and made her way out of my apartment. I tossed the piece of paper into the trashcan. I made it to work surprisingly on time. I sat down, exhausted and Foreman was the first to call me out.
“Long night,” he asked.
“Appears that way,” I replied somewhat sarcastically just as House walked in and slapped a patient chart on the table.
“Twenty-seven year old, female was found passed out at a bus stop with no prior medical conditions. She’s still unconscious and,” House paused, “whoa, Thirteen, no make up. Sour face. Did we hug the porcelain god all night?”
“You assume wrong House,” I replied, “heat stroke?” I tried to steer the conversation away from me but House still had his eye on me as we all spit out what we thought might be wrong with her.
“Kuttner and Taub, MRI. Thirteen and Foreman, run blood tests and cancel out what I already know isn’t wrong with her.” I got up and hurried to the patient’s room to draw the blood. Forman and I drew her blood in complete silence. I knew he wanted to say something, but he waited. We sat in the lab in complete silence for a few minutes.
“Foreman, just say what you need to say,” I said finally breaking the ice.
“We know about your Huntington’s Disease.”
“Yeah, and?”
“There are medical trials for Huntington’s Disease that you could do and,”
“No,” I said cutting him off, “I don’t need a false hope. I’m just going to go on until I die.”
“I’m just saying that with the medical advances now,”
“I said no. I don’t want it so drop it,” I said sternly. And he was quiet after that. Finally the long day had ended. I went home and did what I did last night. I did it every night this week. I picked up random girls and took them home. Night after night, I did the same routine. Everyone knew I was having a bad week; only Foreman was man enough to say anything.
“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
“I don’t need you to tell me what I can and cannot do.”
“You are hurting yourself, and you’re going to hurt someone.”
“I don’t need you to preach to me Foreman. Mind your own business.”
I went home pissed off; I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do. So again, I went out, drank and found another girl. This girl rocked my world. I almost regretted having to kick her out of my bed that morning. But alas all I wanted out of her was sex, a one-night stand and that was it. I got up the next morning and started getting ready for work.
“Hey there,” she called to me.
“Hi.”
“Coming back to bed or…” she said trailing off.
“Or what,” I asked as I heard my lamp break and a thud, “what the…” I looked back and I saw her on the floor, seizing. I ran to her and called 911. The ambulance got there and I rode with her to the hospital. I sat there and I couldn’t think, I know nothing about this girl. I can’t do anything but let the emergency room doctors help her. When we got there Dr. Cameron was there waiting. I was still blank when I walked in getting the vital stats she asked me, “what’s her name?”
“I don’t know,” I answered kind of ashamed. She just stared at me as she walked away. I went upstairs and went to the locker room. I changed into a pair of scrubs and went to House’s office. A few minutes later House walks in and hands us all patient files. It was hers.
“Twenty-four year old, female, had a seizure this morning. As Thirteen knows,” he said as everyone looked at me, “no cause for seizure, and has seen four different doctors in the past three years with same result. None.” I spaced out, chiming in every once in a while. What am I doing? This isn’t me. I couldn’t even tell anyone what her name was. As a matter of fact I didn’t know any names of the girls I slept with this week. What the fuck is wrong with me? I went home that night and cried. I cannot continue on this self-destructive path anymore. After about what seemed like hours, there was a knock on my door. I got up and clean my face a bit and answered it.
“Hey,” it was Dr. Cameron.
“Um, hey.”
“I know, of all people to show up on your door step,” she said and stared at me. I let her in and led her to the couch.
“So, what brings you here,” I asked even though I knew already.
“You can’t go on like this. You can’t keep hurting yourself like this.”
“Look, I know this. But I can’t control myself. I don’t have anyone in my life anymore. My dad’s I don’t know where and my mom is dead.”
“But you can’t have one night stands to fill that void.”
I don’t know what to do,” I cried, “I am so alone. And knowing that I’m sick has made me fully aware of how alone I am.”
“You’re not alone Remy,” she said putting her hand on my knee; a shiver went up my spine. I laughed.
“I haven’t heard my name in a while, I’m used to Thirteen I guess,” I said and placed my hand on hers. I felt a sort of excitement that I hadn’t felt in so long.
“Thirteen is cute, but you were always Remy to me,” she said moving closer. I stared at her for a whole second, and I went for it. I kissed her; she backed away for a second and stared into my eyes. For a second I thought I misread the signals, but then she kissed me. A full on kiss and I felt sparks fly. I laid back and she lay on top of me and kissed my neck. I just held on to her, held her so I wouldn’t loose her.
“Are you for real about this Cameron,” I asked because my heart can’t take another break.
“I am more sure of this than anything in my life.” I smiled and held her, I held her all night. And I woke to her face and I finally felt whole.
.