The Autumn Effect, Chapter 1/4
Fic Title: The Autumn Effect
Chapter Title: Waking Up
Pairing: 13/Cuddy
Rating: G
Legal Biz: Don't own. Never will.
The Autumn Effect
Chapter 1: Waking Up
Thirteen awoke to a gentle touch on her face, unaware of where she was and why she felt so utterly crappy. She slowly cracked one eye open, peeking out, surveying her surroundings. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was in the hospital, in a large room with bright white light filtering in through the half-open window shades, in a lumpy bed that made her back ache. Opening her other eye, she realized that the touch on her face had been Cuddy’s fingers stroking her hair back. She stared up at the older woman, blue-green eyes easily conveying her confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that came out was a harsh rasp. No coherent words emerged.
“Hey there,” Cuddy said, smiling down at her. “Welcome back to the world.”
“What--what happened?” Thirteen asked. Her voice was so thick and hoarse that it sounded strange and foreign even to her own ears.
“You don’t remember?” Cuddy asked, her smile fading into a look of concern.
Thirteen simply shook her head.
“You were leaving the hospital after your shift,” the older woman began to explain. She paused to see if Thirteen would fill in the banks. When the young doctor didn’t say anything, she continued, “You passed out in the locker room. Doctor Foreman found you lying on the floor.”
Slowly, the memory came back to her, and Thirteen nodded. “I remember,” she croaked.
“What else do you remember?”
“Um… feeling tired. No, exhausted. I just wanted to go home and sleep.”
“Mmm. Do you remember how you felt right before you passed out?”
“Just… dizzy. Weak. Why?”
“You’re dehydrated. Severely dehydrated. Foreman had you admitted, ran some tests.”
“Tests?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry. Everything is fine. You just need to rest and drink plenty of fluids and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.”
Thirteen merely nodded again, much too tired to argue. She nestled her head back into her pillow--she wasn’t sure when she had found the strength to lift her head in the first place--and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, Cuddy was still sitting on the edge of her bed, looking down at her with a strange sort of affection in her eyes. It made Thirteen’s heart skip a beat, then speed up a little.
“How long do you think it’ll take until I can get back to work?” Thirteen asked, trying desperately to look anywhere but at the other woman. She failed miserably.
“Just a couple more days, at most. There’s no need to rush. You’ve already been here two days, and House hasn’t started bitching yet, so…” Cuddy let her words trail off as she looked out the glass doors to where House and his team stood, watching them intently.
House was the only one who didn’t look worried. Instead, the look on his face was impassive, something he wore very well.
Thirteen hadn’t noticed they were standing there before. “I’ve been out for two days?” she asked in disbelief. She ran a hand through her already mussed hair and let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, my God. I suck. I suck so bad,” she muttered.
Cuddy couldn’t help laughing. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“I’ve been out of commission for two days. That’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t--God. I should be out there, helping them diagnose patients, and instead, I’m here, lying around like a lazy loaf.”
“I believe it’s that sort of thinking that got you here in the first place. Too busy to stop for a drink of water or a decent meal or a good night’s sleep. Am I right?”
Thirteen faltered. She moved her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. It was true. Cuddy was absolutely right. It was her own fault that she had ended up in a hospital bed. She was pretty sure that she had never felt so stupid before in her entire life.
“I--you’re right. I’m sorry,” the younger woman said softly. She averted her eyes to the frayed edge of her white blanket.
“Don’t apologize. Just don’t let it happen again. You’re too good of a doctor to let yourself slip like this. It isn’t healthy,” Cuddy said. “I thought you were over this whole self-destruct thing,” she added cautiously after a few moments of silence.
“What? I am. I really am. I just--I get so caught up in the work and the back and forth and I forget to do things that most people never forget to do. Sometimes I think I’d forget to breathe if it weren’t for the fact that it was involuntary.” The words came out quickly, all in a rush, and Thirteen had to take a deep breath when she was finished. “I stopped drinking and I stopped partying and I stopped experimenting with drugs. I don’t do anything except work and go home and go to clinical trials and meetings and… I haven’t even been on a date in, like, a month. I don’t go out. I sit at home with my books and my cat and I do yoga to help the stress, but that doesn’t seem to be working out either.” She let out another heavy sigh, fingertips toying with the loose strings on her blanket as silence, thick and palpable, fell over the room again.
Cuddy blinked a couple of times, trying to take in everything the other woman had just told her. Thirteen had practically spilled all the intimate details of her life at the moment, and Cuddy wasn’t quite sure how to react to that. Slowly, she moved her hand down to Thirteen’s where it fidgeted nervously on the blanket and wrapped her fingers around Thirteen’s to still them. Thirteen looked up at her then, and Cuddy realized just how astonishingly fragile she was. Beautifully sculpted, like porcelain, and just as easily broken, but not at all impossible to piece back together.
“Remy.”
The sound of her name jostled Thirteen back to reality. Her heart was beating rapidly now; she could hear it echoing in her ears. For a brief moment, she wondered if Cuddy was going to kiss her, but decided that it was a silly notion and pushed it aside. Instead, the older woman smiled warmly at her and gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze.
“You know, not living is just as unhealthy as living too much,” Cuddy said softly.
With that, the older woman scooted off the bed and walked to the door. She turned to flash Thirteen another affectionate smile, then left the room, leaving Thirteen feeling more than a little mystified.
Chapter Title: Waking Up
Pairing: 13/Cuddy
Rating: G
Legal Biz: Don't own. Never will.
The Autumn Effect
Chapter 1: Waking Up
Thirteen awoke to a gentle touch on her face, unaware of where she was and why she felt so utterly crappy. She slowly cracked one eye open, peeking out, surveying her surroundings. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was in the hospital, in a large room with bright white light filtering in through the half-open window shades, in a lumpy bed that made her back ache. Opening her other eye, she realized that the touch on her face had been Cuddy’s fingers stroking her hair back. She stared up at the older woman, blue-green eyes easily conveying her confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that came out was a harsh rasp. No coherent words emerged.
“Hey there,” Cuddy said, smiling down at her. “Welcome back to the world.”
“What--what happened?” Thirteen asked. Her voice was so thick and hoarse that it sounded strange and foreign even to her own ears.
“You don’t remember?” Cuddy asked, her smile fading into a look of concern.
Thirteen simply shook her head.
“You were leaving the hospital after your shift,” the older woman began to explain. She paused to see if Thirteen would fill in the banks. When the young doctor didn’t say anything, she continued, “You passed out in the locker room. Doctor Foreman found you lying on the floor.”
Slowly, the memory came back to her, and Thirteen nodded. “I remember,” she croaked.
“What else do you remember?”
“Um… feeling tired. No, exhausted. I just wanted to go home and sleep.”
“Mmm. Do you remember how you felt right before you passed out?”
“Just… dizzy. Weak. Why?”
“You’re dehydrated. Severely dehydrated. Foreman had you admitted, ran some tests.”
“Tests?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry. Everything is fine. You just need to rest and drink plenty of fluids and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.”
Thirteen merely nodded again, much too tired to argue. She nestled her head back into her pillow--she wasn’t sure when she had found the strength to lift her head in the first place--and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, Cuddy was still sitting on the edge of her bed, looking down at her with a strange sort of affection in her eyes. It made Thirteen’s heart skip a beat, then speed up a little.
“How long do you think it’ll take until I can get back to work?” Thirteen asked, trying desperately to look anywhere but at the other woman. She failed miserably.
“Just a couple more days, at most. There’s no need to rush. You’ve already been here two days, and House hasn’t started bitching yet, so…” Cuddy let her words trail off as she looked out the glass doors to where House and his team stood, watching them intently.
House was the only one who didn’t look worried. Instead, the look on his face was impassive, something he wore very well.
Thirteen hadn’t noticed they were standing there before. “I’ve been out for two days?” she asked in disbelief. She ran a hand through her already mussed hair and let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, my God. I suck. I suck so bad,” she muttered.
Cuddy couldn’t help laughing. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“I’ve been out of commission for two days. That’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t--God. I should be out there, helping them diagnose patients, and instead, I’m here, lying around like a lazy loaf.”
“I believe it’s that sort of thinking that got you here in the first place. Too busy to stop for a drink of water or a decent meal or a good night’s sleep. Am I right?”
Thirteen faltered. She moved her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. It was true. Cuddy was absolutely right. It was her own fault that she had ended up in a hospital bed. She was pretty sure that she had never felt so stupid before in her entire life.
“I--you’re right. I’m sorry,” the younger woman said softly. She averted her eyes to the frayed edge of her white blanket.
“Don’t apologize. Just don’t let it happen again. You’re too good of a doctor to let yourself slip like this. It isn’t healthy,” Cuddy said. “I thought you were over this whole self-destruct thing,” she added cautiously after a few moments of silence.
“What? I am. I really am. I just--I get so caught up in the work and the back and forth and I forget to do things that most people never forget to do. Sometimes I think I’d forget to breathe if it weren’t for the fact that it was involuntary.” The words came out quickly, all in a rush, and Thirteen had to take a deep breath when she was finished. “I stopped drinking and I stopped partying and I stopped experimenting with drugs. I don’t do anything except work and go home and go to clinical trials and meetings and… I haven’t even been on a date in, like, a month. I don’t go out. I sit at home with my books and my cat and I do yoga to help the stress, but that doesn’t seem to be working out either.” She let out another heavy sigh, fingertips toying with the loose strings on her blanket as silence, thick and palpable, fell over the room again.
Cuddy blinked a couple of times, trying to take in everything the other woman had just told her. Thirteen had practically spilled all the intimate details of her life at the moment, and Cuddy wasn’t quite sure how to react to that. Slowly, she moved her hand down to Thirteen’s where it fidgeted nervously on the blanket and wrapped her fingers around Thirteen’s to still them. Thirteen looked up at her then, and Cuddy realized just how astonishingly fragile she was. Beautifully sculpted, like porcelain, and just as easily broken, but not at all impossible to piece back together.
“Remy.”
The sound of her name jostled Thirteen back to reality. Her heart was beating rapidly now; she could hear it echoing in her ears. For a brief moment, she wondered if Cuddy was going to kiss her, but decided that it was a silly notion and pushed it aside. Instead, the older woman smiled warmly at her and gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze.
“You know, not living is just as unhealthy as living too much,” Cuddy said softly.
With that, the older woman scooted off the bed and walked to the door. She turned to flash Thirteen another affectionate smile, then left the room, leaving Thirteen feeling more than a little mystified.