Not so much "Ace" as "Condemned"
This MST is for ctheb, deelaundry and pintsizeninja, who all made the same suggestion.
The bad!fic has potential to be very tedious and nauseating, but at the moment is just unpleasant. The summary states that the story is "Fun", so I'm sure everyone can guess whether or not that is the case...
Rating: Yawn (bad!fic), PG-13 (MST)
Wilson enters Coma Guy's room, to find House looking at a laptop and Steve McQueen bouncing around on Coma Guy's bed.
Wilson: House, what are you doing? If Cuddy finds out you brought Steve into a patient's room she'll kill you!
House: Stop fussing, Wilson. It's pet therapy.
Coma Guy:
Wilson: *rubbing back of neck* Okaaaaaaaaaay. And what have you got there?
House: A lovely new bad!fic. Let me read you part of the summary. "She is House's niece."
Steve: Squeaky Squook?
Wilson: I suspect so, yes. And what does the rest of the summary say?
All: *consult laptop*
A 15 year old girl meets Chase and foreman and turn out to be looking for House, the two bring her to him. Turns out She is house's niece and needs a guardian, is she just what House needs to keep himself sane? House and Cameron, but not based on it. Fun
Wilson: My, what a coincidence. She's looking for you and just happens to meet two of your minions.
Coma Guy:
House: You're absolutely right, I am an only child.
Steve: Squik! Squeaaaaaaak!
House: Yes, I know you have fifty-seven brothers and sisters. Humans tend to be a little more conservative.
Coma Guy:
House: Oh, not all in one litter. Steve was one of a litter of twelve, weren't you?
Steve: *proud* Squeak!
Wilson: *rolling eyes*
House: And I feel that I should point out that a fifteen-year-old niece is not something that would keep me sane. Wilson keeps me sane.
Wilson: *snuggle*
She looked around city. It was fast, dizzy, and crowded.
Wilson: Well, that's a great start. *eyeroll*
House: I'm bored.
Wilson: House, we've only just started reading!
House: We could play strip!bad!fic...
Coma Guy:
Wilson: *facepalm* No! Absolutely not! I am not having sex in front of Steve!
Steve: Sq-
House: *hand over Steve's mouth* *sotto voce* Shut up! If Wilson hears you -
Wilson: Please tell me that Steve wasn't just about to say that he can see us from the kitchen.
House: No, of course he can't. He can't see round corners! Duh!
Steve: *muffled* Sqmmm. Sqmmf!
House: *sotto voce again* If you tell Wilson you climb out of your cage to come and watch, I will never give you any of his cooking again. Not ever. And nor will he.
Steve: *air of total innocence* Squeak.
Wilson: I'm still not doing it with Steve here.
House: We could go back to your office and... *lewd gesture*
Wilson: That sounds good, but what about Steve?
Coma Guy:
House: There, you see. No problem. Steve, you behave and do as Coma Guy tells you.
Steve: Squeak.
House and Wilson: *leave*
It was Prinston New Jersey.
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak.
She was hurting inside. Not the physical pain but the pain of loss, pain of loneliness. Also she felt fear, fear of not being accepted by him. She was 15, what would a middle aged jerk of a man want to do with a young female, like herself.
Steve: Squeeeeeeeak!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squik.
‘I haven’t seen him in forever. I wonder if he even remembers me. One call, one call a year was all we got from him. And he talked to mother. No, don’t bring her up. It will only bring pain and tears. They are not a part of you anymore, Ace, so just forget them. But you know as soon as you see him, you will break down crying. I mean, uncle Greg looks way too much like mom did…’ She thought with a sigh.
Steve: *pretending to throw up* *even though rats don't vomit*
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeeeeurgh.
The young teen walked onto the bus that just pulled up at the stop and a large smelly man sat driving the vehicle.
Coma Guy:
Steve: *sniffing* Squeak. Squeak squeak.
“$5.00” the man said pushing a small jar towards her as she stood at the entrance of the almost empty bus.
“$5.00! To get five miles?! That is ridiculous!” she yelled louder then she expected
“Ether you pay, or leave” the man in the seat said. She sighed. she only had seven dollars left.
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
She had been traveling for about 3 weeks and started with $50. Thinking back, she really had nothing left, all of her belongings were left in Pennsylvania. She pulled the five out of her small plastic box and hesitantly put it in the box.
Steve: Squeak? Squeak-squeak squik?
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak.
The only luggage she had was the small purple plastic box with a clear handle on the top. The other was a small cloth bag.
Steve: Squeak? Squeak.
She slowly walked to the back of the bus. Two seats over, a slim black man with a slight go-tee
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeek-squeek-squeek!
was in an argument with a lean white man with blond hair with an Australian ascent.
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak! *scratching ear*
She Looked out the window, but still listened in on the conversation.
“Well, either way House is going to have our heads. It was-” the slim blond man started
“Excuse me for interrupting but did you just say you know a man named House?” She asked as the two men looked at each other almost uncertainly.
“Yeah, he is our boss” the dark skinned man answered
“Would his first name be Gregory and is he a doctor?” she asked innocently.
“Yes. Dr. Gregory House, how do you know him?” the Australian man asked surprised
Steve: *ratty yawn*
Coma Guy:
Steve: *ratty snicker*
“I’m…uhh…Ace…um…Home! He is my…uh…friend.” She answered with a smile
Steve: "Squeak"? "Squeak"?!
“So, Ace Home, How do you know House?” the Dark one asked while his mouth spread into a smile.
“Why are you asking the questions?” she asked with a smile “ first I want to know your name” she finished with the same grin.
“Well, I’m Doctor Foreman, and this is doctor Chase. We work for Doctor House.”
“So you two would know where he is?”
Steve: Fft! *would roll eyes but rats can't*
Coma Guy: *ditto apart from the rat part*
“Actually doctor Chase and I are heading back to the hospital right now were he is, if you like you may join us, It is a lot easier to get into the hospital with Doctors” He offered
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
Steve: *ratty shrug*
“Oh! Thank you very much! If you wouldn’t mind I would really appreciate it,” Ace said looking down.
“Of course not” Forman answered
“One more thing, if we are going to be traveling together I would prefer to know your real name. I highly doubt your mother named you Doctor,” she said playing with a leaf that blew in through the window.
Mary Sue Alarm: WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! Possible Mary Sue sighted! This is not a drill! WOO -
Coma Guy:
Mary Sue Alarm: That's not fair!
Steve: Squeaky-squeak squik.
Mary Sue Alarm: *leaves in huff*
Foreman had to laugh. Who was the girl though? And how does she know House? She looked like she hadn’t sleep in a bed for a long time. But her eyes were almost idential to House's.
Steve: SQUOOT! SQUOOT! SQUOOT! *ratty snigger*
Coma Guy:
“Sure, I’m Eric and this is Robert” Foremen said pointing to Chase.
She smiled. “Well, Eric, I would like to thank you again for this, you too Robert.”
Steve: Squeeeeeurgh.
“Not at all, we are happy to help” Chase answered for the both of them. Ace smiled and then lay down on the seat. She was finally going to be with her uncle Greg once more!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak...
‘I’m Ace House and I’m going to finally get to see my uncle after ten years!’ She thought as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Steve: Fft!
Coma Guy:
Steve: *curling up on Coma Guy's chest and going to sleep*
!!!! To Be Continued!!!!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The bad!fic has potential to be very tedious and nauseating, but at the moment is just unpleasant. The summary states that the story is "Fun", so I'm sure everyone can guess whether or not that is the case...
Rating: Yawn (bad!fic), PG-13 (MST)
Wilson enters Coma Guy's room, to find House looking at a laptop and Steve McQueen bouncing around on Coma Guy's bed.
Wilson: House, what are you doing? If Cuddy finds out you brought Steve into a patient's room she'll kill you!
House: Stop fussing, Wilson. It's pet therapy.
Coma Guy:
Wilson: *rubbing back of neck* Okaaaaaaaaaay. And what have you got there?
House: A lovely new bad!fic. Let me read you part of the summary. "She is House's niece."
Steve: Squeaky Squook?
Wilson: I suspect so, yes. And what does the rest of the summary say?
All: *consult laptop*
A 15 year old girl meets Chase and foreman and turn out to be looking for House, the two bring her to him. Turns out She is house's niece and needs a guardian, is she just what House needs to keep himself sane? House and Cameron, but not based on it. Fun
Wilson: My, what a coincidence. She's looking for you and just happens to meet two of your minions.
Coma Guy:
House: You're absolutely right, I am an only child.
Steve: Squik! Squeaaaaaaak!
House: Yes, I know you have fifty-seven brothers and sisters. Humans tend to be a little more conservative.
Coma Guy:
House: Oh, not all in one litter. Steve was one of a litter of twelve, weren't you?
Steve: *proud* Squeak!
Wilson: *rolling eyes*
House: And I feel that I should point out that a fifteen-year-old niece is not something that would keep me sane. Wilson keeps me sane.
Wilson: *snuggle*
She looked around city. It was fast, dizzy, and crowded.
Wilson: Well, that's a great start. *eyeroll*
House: I'm bored.
Wilson: House, we've only just started reading!
House: We could play strip!bad!fic...
Coma Guy:
Wilson: *facepalm* No! Absolutely not! I am not having sex in front of Steve!
Steve: Sq-
House: *hand over Steve's mouth* *sotto voce* Shut up! If Wilson hears you -
Wilson: Please tell me that Steve wasn't just about to say that he can see us from the kitchen.
House: No, of course he can't. He can't see round corners! Duh!
Steve: *muffled* Sqmmm. Sqmmf!
House: *sotto voce again* If you tell Wilson you climb out of your cage to come and watch, I will never give you any of his cooking again. Not ever. And nor will he.
Steve: *air of total innocence* Squeak.
Wilson: I'm still not doing it with Steve here.
House: We could go back to your office and... *lewd gesture*
Wilson: That sounds good, but what about Steve?
Coma Guy:
House: There, you see. No problem. Steve, you behave and do as Coma Guy tells you.
Steve: Squeak.
House and Wilson: *leave*
It was Prinston New Jersey.
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak.
She was hurting inside. Not the physical pain but the pain of loss, pain of loneliness. Also she felt fear, fear of not being accepted by him. She was 15, what would a middle aged jerk of a man want to do with a young female, like herself.
Steve: Squeeeeeeeak!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squik.
‘I haven’t seen him in forever. I wonder if he even remembers me. One call, one call a year was all we got from him. And he talked to mother. No, don’t bring her up. It will only bring pain and tears. They are not a part of you anymore, Ace, so just forget them. But you know as soon as you see him, you will break down crying. I mean, uncle Greg looks way too much like mom did…’ She thought with a sigh.
Steve: *pretending to throw up* *even though rats don't vomit*
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeeeeurgh.
The young teen walked onto the bus that just pulled up at the stop and a large smelly man sat driving the vehicle.
Coma Guy:
Steve: *sniffing* Squeak. Squeak squeak.
“$5.00” the man said pushing a small jar towards her as she stood at the entrance of the almost empty bus.
“$5.00! To get five miles?! That is ridiculous!” she yelled louder then she expected
“Ether you pay, or leave” the man in the seat said. She sighed. she only had seven dollars left.
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
She had been traveling for about 3 weeks and started with $50. Thinking back, she really had nothing left, all of her belongings were left in Pennsylvania. She pulled the five out of her small plastic box and hesitantly put it in the box.
Steve: Squeak? Squeak-squeak squik?
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak.
The only luggage she had was the small purple plastic box with a clear handle on the top. The other was a small cloth bag.
Steve: Squeak? Squeak.
She slowly walked to the back of the bus. Two seats over, a slim black man with a slight go-tee
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeek-squeek-squeek!
was in an argument with a lean white man with blond hair with an Australian ascent.
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak! *scratching ear*
She Looked out the window, but still listened in on the conversation.
“Well, either way House is going to have our heads. It was-” the slim blond man started
“Excuse me for interrupting but did you just say you know a man named House?” She asked as the two men looked at each other almost uncertainly.
“Yeah, he is our boss” the dark skinned man answered
“Would his first name be Gregory and is he a doctor?” she asked innocently.
“Yes. Dr. Gregory House, how do you know him?” the Australian man asked surprised
Steve: *ratty yawn*
Coma Guy:
Steve: *ratty snicker*
“I’m…uhh…Ace…um…Home! He is my…uh…friend.” She answered with a smile
Steve: "Squeak"? "Squeak"?!
“So, Ace Home, How do you know House?” the Dark one asked while his mouth spread into a smile.
“Why are you asking the questions?” she asked with a smile “ first I want to know your name” she finished with the same grin.
“Well, I’m Doctor Foreman, and this is doctor Chase. We work for Doctor House.”
“So you two would know where he is?”
Steve: Fft! *would roll eyes but rats can't*
Coma Guy: *ditto apart from the rat part*
“Actually doctor Chase and I are heading back to the hospital right now were he is, if you like you may join us, It is a lot easier to get into the hospital with Doctors” He offered
Steve: Squeak?
Coma Guy:
Steve: *ratty shrug*
“Oh! Thank you very much! If you wouldn’t mind I would really appreciate it,” Ace said looking down.
“Of course not” Forman answered
“One more thing, if we are going to be traveling together I would prefer to know your real name. I highly doubt your mother named you Doctor,” she said playing with a leaf that blew in through the window.
Mary Sue Alarm: WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! Possible Mary Sue sighted! This is not a drill! WOO -
Coma Guy:
Mary Sue Alarm: That's not fair!
Steve: Squeaky-squeak squik.
Mary Sue Alarm: *leaves in huff*
Foreman had to laugh. Who was the girl though? And how does she know House? She looked like she hadn’t sleep in a bed for a long time. But her eyes were almost idential to House's.
Steve: SQUOOT! SQUOOT! SQUOOT! *ratty snigger*
Coma Guy:
“Sure, I’m Eric and this is Robert” Foremen said pointing to Chase.
She smiled. “Well, Eric, I would like to thank you again for this, you too Robert.”
Steve: Squeeeeeurgh.
“Not at all, we are happy to help” Chase answered for the both of them. Ace smiled and then lay down on the seat. She was finally going to be with her uncle Greg once more!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Squeak...
‘I’m Ace House and I’m going to finally get to see my uncle after ten years!’ She thought as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Steve: Fft!
Coma Guy:
Steve: *curling up on Coma Guy's chest and going to sleep*
!!!! To Be Continued!!!!
Coma Guy:
Steve: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.