"Family Practice" picspam!
Picspam of the episode "Family Practice"
No spoilers for the next episodes,
Just weird stuff I think when I watch the episode!
Hi! I decided to make a picspam for this episode after being absent for a while, I promise it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that poocat and akemi16 pressured me into doing it, I promise. I also can assure you that I didn't cry once, this never happened. I haven't been very smilezzz timezzz with the last few House episodes, thus not feeling in the mood to picspam them, but this episode was actually pretty decent (the best one so far this season, in my opinion), and that combined with the fact that poocat is so goddamn annoying, led to this picspam being born.
THIS GOES FOR poocat AND akemi16 THEN. <3
I would also like to say hi to my crack dealer hateistoodark , and to my mom, who will never read this. K THNX BYE.
Also, I have a few spelling mistakes here and there from typing to fast and not proofreading this. if you read one, PLEASE don't let me know and act like I wrote the right thing. THANK YOU <3
HELLO YOU BEAUTIFUL AND FIERCE SPECIMEN IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK. I MISSED YOUR FIERCENESS AND THE WAY YOU REMIND ME OF MY MOTHER.
So while Julia, Lisa & Arlene are all hanging out and shit, I notice this. THIS. I WAS NOT AWARE THAT SELMA AND PATTY HAS A GUEST APPEAREANCE THIS EPISODE. I AM VERY IMPRESSED, I HOPE THEY ARE IN THE CREDITS.
YES. I REALLY HOPE THEY ARE CREDITED BECAUSE THEY APPEAR TO BE WORKING HARD.
The flawless, amazing, incredible, perfect, reginageorge creature feels her heart acting all funny so she calls her daughter with her perfect, amazing, angelic voice and Cuddy concludes they better go to the fucking hospital.
Julia looks all concerned, but I'm the one who's concerned, this bitch looks nothing like Arlene and Lisa. In fact, Lisa's adopted kid looks more like she belongs the family, so I'm gonna rename this thirdwheel strangeradopted bitch adoptedsister
Anyways, so the teaser is done, the episode is starting, and you know this is gonna be srsbsn cause everytime they skip the credits somebody dies.
OH NO. NOT MY FLAWLESS ANGEL CREATURE NO HOW WILL I EVER SURVIVE KNOWING SHE WON'T GUEST STAR ON THIS SHOW AGAIN.
HOLY CRAP. WHEN DID SEXY HAIR COME BACK? WHY WASN'T I AWARE OF THIS? WHERE HAS MY LOYALTY TOWARDS SEXY HAIR BEEN OMG.
THERE YOU ARE HOUSE. YOU CAN RUN, YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T ESCAPE MY LOVE.
LOL NO BUT FORREALSIES, TREAT MY PERFECT MOM PLZ. AND EVEN THOUGH HER TEARS CAN CURE ANY DISEASE SHE MIGHT HAVE, I STILL WANT HER TO FEEL LIKE A HUMAN.
YES. I WON A BET. I'M GONNA PUT THAT MONEY TOWARDS GETTING A BIGGER BED SO I CAN HAVE BETTER THREESOMES.
LOL I DON'T CARE CUDDY. I'm watching tv. seriously, am I gonna have to break up with you?
I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU DON'T TAKE IT.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DO WE HAVE HEREEEE.
LOL no but srsly, is anyone else mega-turned on by the image of House in a white coat? I mean UNF for days. He spent like 5 seasons trying to get laid and avoiding labcoats. Labcoats were the answer, House. You should've done it sooner.
And in less than 2 minutes, Arlene said like SEVEN things that made me want to worship her more.
As a matter of fact, I am now building a shrine dedicated to her holy amazingness inside my closet, Helga Pataki taught me everything I know, but that's besides the point.
When I see Arlene I think two things:
1. How did the writers manage to write my mom ohsoperfectly without ever meeting her?
2. How do I contact this flawless creature called Arlene and ask her to replace my mom?
*Over at the Angel's house Cloud*
LOL THIS IS NOT AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL GIRLS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND SHIT.
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING. WHAT WHAT WHAT. WHY ARE YOU MIXING SO MANY FABRICS/COLOURS/PATTERNS WHAT WHY WHY I LIKED YOU. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU OMG WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
I BET YOU HAD NO FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T HEAR YOU TALK OVER THE SOUND OF HOW LOUD YOUR CLOTHES ARE SCREAMING.
Taub found some incriminating pictures of Arlene doing bad stuff. I can't imagine such a thing, unless of course, these caps are the representation of how painful it might be seeing something so pure and perfect.
WE WENT THROUGH YOUR MOM'S SHIT. SHE'S HAVING SEX WITH JESUS.
I'm not even going to ask you for proof because you never lie!
KISS, POOKIE.
MOM, SO LIKE, HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MARRIED HOT GUYS LATELY?
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT..
WELL HOW ABOUT THAT, MY MOM'S SEX LIFE MIGHT BE BETTER THAN MINE. lol jk there's not way it's better than mine.
BITCH YOU'RE LATE, I'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, ADOPTED SISTER, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE JUST HERE TO CREATE DRAMA.
so it's all cool, but why are you making me move boxes. have you SEEN this coat. it's very expensive. please don't make me wrinkle it.
HI RACHEL. WHY ARE YOU HERE, IT MUST BE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AGAIN, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE HERE I'M SO SEXY.
LOL NOT REALLY.
I'm just here to tell you about a job offer, from my brother, YES THE SAME ONE WHO BROKE YOUR NOSE! He loves you a lot now and he promises he will never ever, say, bash your head against some pipes in the men's bathroom at the hospital while you're taking a piss. HE PROMISES.
Really? cause I really love my nose, I can't IMAGINE the damage if he breaks it.
"So let's just set this straight, I'm only here because my girlfriend made me do is. I don't even care about her that much but she promised to withheld sex. and I don't even care about that THAT much either because I've got, not one, but TWO hands I can replace her with. But her boobz HER BOOBZZ, I want to look at them from time to time, so yeah...."
"Are you going somewhere with this?"
"what? OH YES, right. well so you're like a major hypocondriac"
"I am not"
"YES YOU TOTALLY ARE. YOU'RE LIKE THIS DUDE"
BUT MY HAND. MY HAND IS SHAKING. LOOK AT MY HAND. IT SAYS SO RIGHT ON THESE PILLS THAT MY HAND MIGHT SHAKE. WHY ELSE WOULD MY HAND SHAKE.
MY HAND IS SHAKING.
Oh riiiight, see the thing is when I went to college, I didn't just major in pre-med. I was also a screwingwithpeople major and a labelmaker minor, so I made that! YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE FAKE. HUZZAH.
BITCH U BETTA GET OUT OF MAH WAY.
"WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO YOU MORON YOU GOT US FIRED FROM THE CASE"
"and it took her long enough, i've been trying to get us fired since the first time i met her omg"
I WILL FINISH THIS ORGASM AND THEN WE WILL DISCUSS THIS MATTER FURTHER.
Dude, she's totally doing something weird, I DON'T KNOW, I never finished medschool
"OKAY, HERE'S THE THING. when she's asleep, you gotta like, GRAB A PILLOW, and smother her. I WILL pay you. LOL JK wilson will pay you."
"NO. My beard and I have something to prove"
BUGGING LE ROOM~
ISN'T THIS *BLAHLBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH* ...AND ALSO ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL AND A VERY VERY *BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH* AND SO ON
WAIT SHE'S GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY I AM, SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.
LOL NO
UGH WHATEVER. EVERYONE STAY. EXCEPT YOU MARTHA, HOW FIND SOMETHING TO OCCUPY YOUR TIME WITH WHILE WE PLAN SOMETHING HIGHLY ILLEGAL. WHAT? NO I DIDN'T SAY ILLEGAL. I SAID LEGAL. AS IN COOL. AS IN UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS. JUST LEAVE FFS.
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, COME OVER HERE.
WHAT, US?
NO. I WAS TALKING TO THE NEIGHBORS. YES YOU YOU DUMBASSES.
JEEZ, YOU COULD BE NICER. YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.
WELL WHATEVER, I MEAN, I JUST THINK CUDDY'S MOM IS AN ALCOHOLIC. SO YEAH, SNEAK SOME PILLS INTO HER FOOD AND WE'LL SEE IF IT WORKS!
*everybody's eyebrows raise except for foremans. well, he IS too used to House's ~shenanigans~*
bitch u betta go tell cuddy.
*meanwhile at Cuddy's office*
"So yeah, you gotta slip her these pills. they are going to make her better"
"I trust you"
SERIOUSLY? WHY. HE'S ALREADY PROVEN TO BE A VERY SKILLED LABELMAKER, AND WE ALL KNOW HE WANTS TO KILL MY ANGEL.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK IT? WHAT IF THOSE PILLS ARE ACTUALLY CIANIDE?
HOW RECKLESS OF YOU, CUDDY.
"addicts lie"
I MEAN COME ON HE'S EVEN TELLING YOU HE'S LYING.
NO LOL BUT SRSLY, ADDICTS DON'T LIE, EVERYBODY LIES. EVERYBODY.
I am NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I ONLY HAD 5 DRINKS THIS MORNING, HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING SO FOUL.
YES. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. YOUR MOTHER IS A GODDAMN FUCKING ANGEL, IS WHAT SHE IS. YOU BETTER GO CLEAN YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP.
WELL HOUSE SAID IT, AND WHY EVEN SECONDGUESS ANYTHING HE DIAGNOSES WE ALWAYS KNOW HE'S RIGHT... EVENTUALLY.
AND THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND DIAGNOSIS SO IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES OR SO HE'LL GUESS RIGHT. THIS MIGHT BE IT.
YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOU ARE NO DAUGHTER OF MINE.
I'M OFF THE CASE HOUSE, SORRY. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND DON'T TELL ME. BUT DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. ANYWAYSSSSSS, I NEED TO GET UP, I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS BENCH.
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT RACHEL TOLD YOU, BUT I PROMISE I WON'T PUNCH YOU.
AND BLAH BLAH BLAH SECOND BAD STORYLINE BLAH
i had to include this. sorry. so. hot.
YOU WERE WRONG. I WOULDNT'VE IMAGINED SOMETHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENING. BUT IT DID.
IT'S NEVER LUPUS. COME ON.
OH OH, WE'RE PLAYING THIS GAME! OKAY. 2 WORDS.
I KNOW THIS! OKAY, IS IT "FUCK YOU"?
WELL IT WAS PRETTY EASY.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE HER MEDICINE WITHOUT HER DOCTOR KNOWING?
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS HOUSE. YOU'VE NEVER DONE SOMETHING AS BAD AS THIS.
NONE OF US HAVE.
NOT EVEN THAT TIME CHASE KILLED A PATIENT. I MEAN THOSE TWO TIMES.
OR THAT TIME I STABBED A COLLEAGUE WITH A POSSIBLY INFECTED NEEDLE.
OR THAT OTHER TIME YOU HIRED A PI TO CHANGE A PATIENT'S DRUG.
OR THAT OTHER TIME CHASE REATTACHED A GUYS FINGER WHEN HE SAID NOT TO.
OR HOW ABOUT THAT TIME YOU INJECTED A VEGETATIVE PATIENT WITH SOME DRUGS TO REVIVE HIM.
OR THAT ONE TIME YOU GAVE A HEADACHE TO A COMATOSE PATIENT.
OR EVERY EPISODE WHEN HE DOES SHIT LIKE THIS, AND THE MILLION AND ONE ILLEGAL THINGS YOU'VE DONE.
THIS IS BAD, THIS IS JUST BAD.
IT IS SUPER BAD
LOOK AT ME I'M USING MY CRAZY EYES AND EVERYTHING
"I'LL DO IT. GIVE ME YOUR PAD. I KINDA FORGOT MINE AT MY THREESOME APARTMENT. OR MY SEX WITH UNDERAGED GIRLS APARTMENT? I DON'T KNOW."
"You don't have to do this, Chase, he can't fire us for not doing something illegal"
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
YEAH YOUR KID IS DYING LULZ. LOOK AT THE FILES? LOL NO I JUST GLANCED AT IT. BUT I *KNOW* HE'S DYING. I WORK FOR HOUSE AND HE NEVER LIES. YOU GOTTA TRUST ME.
Awww, holding the hand of the favourite child.
#NOIAMINNOWAYBITTERNOTATALL
HEY! SO LIKE, I THINK HOUSE IS CHANGING YOUR MOTHER'S MEDICINE JUST SAYIN.
YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP YOU OUT OF IT. FUCKING WOMEN.
THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING, GODDAMN MY AWFUL MOTHER AND HER ABILITY TO BUG THE FUCK OUT OF ME EVEN WHEN SHE'S SICK.
come on, don't SPEAK THAT WAY about the angel.
So yeah mom, i'm like here all night helping you with your shit and stuff, do you like me and shit?
"Yeah I totes love you, I mean, you came out of my vagina and shit. you're adorable and I love you."
"YAY! =)"
"But I like your sister better."
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR CUDDY. I MEAN. #ITSNOTLIKEICANTOTALLYANDABSOLUTELYRELATETOTHISPARTICULARMOMENTRIGHTFUCKINGNOW
LOL U WERE WRONG THE KID IS NOT DYING.
LOL SO WE ALL SCREWED UP BY SWITCHING THE MEDICINE.
"Um, you mean YOU SCREWED UP"
"Yeah, you can leave, boreman"
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO! LET'S TALK LOUDLY IN CASE MARTHA WALKS IN
OH GODDAMNIT! DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING TRACE ON YOUR NAME LIKE VOLDEMORT?
I HATE BEING KICKED OUT OF MY OFFICE, BUT THAT'S COOL, I'LL GO SHOESHOPPING.
HEY NOW THAT CUDDY'S OUT OF THIS OFFICE I JUST WANT TO TALK YOU KNOW. SO WHAT'S UP, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BFFS. THAT CHASE IS A REAL CUTIE ISN'T HE. I HEARD HE'S INTO THREESOMES, MAYBE YOU CAN GET IT! LOL K AND ALSO I WILL DESTROY YOU. BYE.
I AM NOT BULIMIC I'M JUST SCURRRDDD.
*MEANWHILE, AT THE LAND OF STORYLINES NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT*
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T SHOVE MY HEAD AGAINST SOME PIPES WHILE I WAS TAKING A PISS! I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE OMG.
I LIED.
=( CALL ME....
OH SHIT. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT.
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. THIS IS AWFUL. THIS IS DISGUSTING. YOU LIED. YOU ALL LIED. I'M GOING TO REPORT YOU TO WHATEVER I CAN REPORT YOU TO. LOL NO I WON'T I JUST WILL THREATEN YOU WITH IT, BUT THIS IS BAD. I AM MAD. I AM REALLY MAD. I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL.
Arlene is gone, you need to get that flawless amazing angel back into the hospital.
WHY THO.
(LMFAO I FUCKING LOVE THIS. THE LIGHTS IN THIS EPISODE ARE NONEXISTANT, EVERYTHING IS SUPER DARK.
THERE IS NOT EVEN DRAMATIC MUSIC.
EVERYONE IS SPORTING THE SOUREST OF FACES.
CUDDY'S MOM IS ABOUT TO DIE EVERY 30 SECONDS.
EVERYTHING IS A MORAL DILEMMA.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF? IT IS RAINING.
GOOD JOB ON SETTING THE MOOD RIGHT, DIRECTORS.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY NOW.)
BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ELSE KILLS HER, I WILL NEVER HAVE THE PLEASURE TO DO IT MYSELF.
YOU ARE THE PERFECT MAN.
CUE SAD SLOW MUSIC WHILE CUDDY RUNS SLOMO TOWARDS THE AMBULANCE
GET. OUT. ADOPTEDSISTER.
THEY HAVE A CUTE AMBULANCE MOMENT AND CUDDY TELLS HER MOM WHAT THEY SHOULD MAKE EVERY PATIENT SIGN WHEN THEY ARE ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL
"STAY HERE AND YOU'LL LIVE BUT WE'LL TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT TROLOLOLOL BUT YOU'LL LIVE"
AND THE BULLYING WORKED! CUDDY'S MOM IS NOW BACK IN THIS HOSPITAL. I WONDER IF THESE TWO WILL EVER FIND A BETTER WAY OF COMMUNICATING.
LOL WHO AM I KIDDING MY MOM AND I ONLY TALK THROUGH THREATS, HEY, WORKS FOR US.
I KNOW WHAT SHE HAS.
STOP PLAYING CUTE AND DO SOMETHING.
ALSO I WOULD NOT WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS FACE.
LOL YEAH. WHEN I CUT A HUGE HOLE INTO MY SKIN IT DOESN'T BLEED OR ANYTHING TOO.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER. NOW YOU CAN KILL HER.
I LOBE YOU.
TINY TAUB HAS A TINY CUTE MOMENT.
YEAH LOL SO ABOUT THAT FIRING THING, I WAS LYING. I KINDA NEED A BABYSITTER, SOOOO....
HI MOM, FEELING BETTER? I'M SORRY ADOPTEDSISTER, CAN YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM? I WANT TO HAVE A MOMENT WITH MY MOTHER.
SO, LIKE I WAS SAYING LISA, 2 POINTS FOR THE INTERWEBZ, 0 FOR HOUSE.
I LOVE YOU. NEVER CHANGE. PLEASE NEVER STOP BEING A BITCH.
THIS IS UNREALISTIC. I'M JUST SAYIN. IT NEVER HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE. #ANDI'MNOTTALKINGFROMPERSONALEXPERIENCEORANYTHING
THE. END <3.
No spoilers for the next episodes,
Just weird stuff I think when I watch the episode!
Hi! I decided to make a picspam for this episode after being absent for a while, I promise it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that poocat and akemi16 pressured me into doing it, I promise. I also can assure you that I didn't cry once, this never happened. I haven't been very smilezzz timezzz with the last few House episodes, thus not feeling in the mood to picspam them, but this episode was actually pretty decent (the best one so far this season, in my opinion), and that combined with the fact that poocat is so goddamn annoying, led to this picspam being born.
THIS GOES FOR poocat AND akemi16 THEN. <3
I would also like to say hi to my crack dealer hateistoodark , and to my mom, who will never read this. K THNX BYE.
Also, I have a few spelling mistakes here and there from typing to fast and not proofreading this. if you read one, PLEASE don't let me know and act like I wrote the right thing. THANK YOU <3
HELLO YOU BEAUTIFUL AND FIERCE SPECIMEN IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK. I MISSED YOUR FIERCENESS AND THE WAY YOU REMIND ME OF MY MOTHER.
So while Julia, Lisa & Arlene are all hanging out and shit, I notice this. THIS. I WAS NOT AWARE THAT SELMA AND PATTY HAS A GUEST APPEAREANCE THIS EPISODE. I AM VERY IMPRESSED, I HOPE THEY ARE IN THE CREDITS.
YES. I REALLY HOPE THEY ARE CREDITED BECAUSE THEY APPEAR TO BE WORKING HARD.
The flawless, amazing, incredible, perfect, reginageorge creature feels her heart acting all funny so she calls her daughter with her perfect, amazing, angelic voice and Cuddy concludes they better go to the fucking hospital.
Julia looks all concerned, but I'm the one who's concerned, this bitch looks nothing like Arlene and Lisa. In fact, Lisa's adopted kid looks more like she belongs the family, so I'm gonna rename this thirdwheel strangeradopted bitch adoptedsister
Anyways, so the teaser is done, the episode is starting, and you know this is gonna be srsbsn cause everytime they skip the credits somebody dies.
OH NO. NOT MY FLAWLESS ANGEL CREATURE NO HOW WILL I EVER SURVIVE KNOWING SHE WON'T GUEST STAR ON THIS SHOW AGAIN.
HOLY CRAP. WHEN DID SEXY HAIR COME BACK? WHY WASN'T I AWARE OF THIS? WHERE HAS MY LOYALTY TOWARDS SEXY HAIR BEEN OMG.
THERE YOU ARE HOUSE. YOU CAN RUN, YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T ESCAPE MY LOVE.
LOL NO BUT FORREALSIES, TREAT MY PERFECT MOM PLZ. AND EVEN THOUGH HER TEARS CAN CURE ANY DISEASE SHE MIGHT HAVE, I STILL WANT HER TO FEEL LIKE A HUMAN.
YES. I WON A BET. I'M GONNA PUT THAT MONEY TOWARDS GETTING A BIGGER BED SO I CAN HAVE BETTER THREESOMES.
LOL I DON'T CARE CUDDY. I'm watching tv. seriously, am I gonna have to break up with you?
I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU DON'T TAKE IT.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DO WE HAVE HEREEEE.
LOL no but srsly, is anyone else mega-turned on by the image of House in a white coat? I mean UNF for days. He spent like 5 seasons trying to get laid and avoiding labcoats. Labcoats were the answer, House. You should've done it sooner.
And in less than 2 minutes, Arlene said like SEVEN things that made me want to worship her more.
As a matter of fact, I am now building a shrine dedicated to her holy amazingness inside my closet, Helga Pataki taught me everything I know, but that's besides the point.
When I see Arlene I think two things:
1. How did the writers manage to write my mom ohsoperfectly without ever meeting her?
2. How do I contact this flawless creature called Arlene and ask her to replace my mom?
*Over at the Angel's house Cloud*
LOL THIS IS NOT AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL GIRLS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND SHIT.
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING. WHAT WHAT WHAT. WHY ARE YOU MIXING SO MANY FABRICS/COLOURS/PATTERNS WHAT WHY WHY I LIKED YOU. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU OMG WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
I BET YOU HAD NO FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T HEAR YOU TALK OVER THE SOUND OF HOW LOUD YOUR CLOTHES ARE SCREAMING.
Taub found some incriminating pictures of Arlene doing bad stuff. I can't imagine such a thing, unless of course, these caps are the representation of how painful it might be seeing something so pure and perfect.
WE WENT THROUGH YOUR MOM'S SHIT. SHE'S HAVING SEX WITH JESUS.
I'm not even going to ask you for proof because you never lie!
KISS, POOKIE.
MOM, SO LIKE, HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MARRIED HOT GUYS LATELY?
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT..
WELL HOW ABOUT THAT, MY MOM'S SEX LIFE MIGHT BE BETTER THAN MINE. lol jk there's not way it's better than mine.
BITCH YOU'RE LATE, I'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, ADOPTED SISTER, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE JUST HERE TO CREATE DRAMA.
so it's all cool, but why are you making me move boxes. have you SEEN this coat. it's very expensive. please don't make me wrinkle it.
HI RACHEL. WHY ARE YOU HERE, IT MUST BE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME AGAIN, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE HERE I'M SO SEXY.
LOL NOT REALLY.
I'm just here to tell you about a job offer, from my brother, YES THE SAME ONE WHO BROKE YOUR NOSE! He loves you a lot now and he promises he will never ever, say, bash your head against some pipes in the men's bathroom at the hospital while you're taking a piss. HE PROMISES.
Really? cause I really love my nose, I can't IMAGINE the damage if he breaks it.
"So let's just set this straight, I'm only here because my girlfriend made me do is. I don't even care about her that much but she promised to withheld sex. and I don't even care about that THAT much either because I've got, not one, but TWO hands I can replace her with. But her boobz HER BOOBZZ, I want to look at them from time to time, so yeah...."
"Are you going somewhere with this?"
"what? OH YES, right. well so you're like a major hypocondriac"
"I am not"
"YES YOU TOTALLY ARE. YOU'RE LIKE THIS DUDE"
BUT MY HAND. MY HAND IS SHAKING. LOOK AT MY HAND. IT SAYS SO RIGHT ON THESE PILLS THAT MY HAND MIGHT SHAKE. WHY ELSE WOULD MY HAND SHAKE.
MY HAND IS SHAKING.
Oh riiiight, see the thing is when I went to college, I didn't just major in pre-med. I was also a screwingwithpeople major and a labelmaker minor, so I made that! YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE FAKE. HUZZAH.
BITCH U BETTA GET OUT OF MAH WAY.
"WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO YOU MORON YOU GOT US FIRED FROM THE CASE"
"and it took her long enough, i've been trying to get us fired since the first time i met her omg"
I WILL FINISH THIS ORGASM AND THEN WE WILL DISCUSS THIS MATTER FURTHER.
Dude, she's totally doing something weird, I DON'T KNOW, I never finished medschool
"OKAY, HERE'S THE THING. when she's asleep, you gotta like, GRAB A PILLOW, and smother her. I WILL pay you. LOL JK wilson will pay you."
"NO. My beard and I have something to prove"
BUGGING LE ROOM~
ISN'T THIS *BLAHLBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH* ...AND ALSO ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL AND A VERY VERY *BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH* AND SO ON
WAIT SHE'S GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY I AM, SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.
LOL NO
UGH WHATEVER. EVERYONE STAY. EXCEPT YOU MARTHA, HOW FIND SOMETHING TO OCCUPY YOUR TIME WITH WHILE WE PLAN SOMETHING HIGHLY ILLEGAL. WHAT? NO I DIDN'T SAY ILLEGAL. I SAID LEGAL. AS IN COOL. AS IN UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS. JUST LEAVE FFS.
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, COME OVER HERE.
WHAT, US?
NO. I WAS TALKING TO THE NEIGHBORS. YES YOU YOU DUMBASSES.
JEEZ, YOU COULD BE NICER. YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.
WELL WHATEVER, I MEAN, I JUST THINK CUDDY'S MOM IS AN ALCOHOLIC. SO YEAH, SNEAK SOME PILLS INTO HER FOOD AND WE'LL SEE IF IT WORKS!
*everybody's eyebrows raise except for foremans. well, he IS too used to House's ~shenanigans~*
bitch u betta go tell cuddy.
*meanwhile at Cuddy's office*
"So yeah, you gotta slip her these pills. they are going to make her better"
"I trust you"
SERIOUSLY? WHY. HE'S ALREADY PROVEN TO BE A VERY SKILLED LABELMAKER, AND WE ALL KNOW HE WANTS TO KILL MY ANGEL.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK IT? WHAT IF THOSE PILLS ARE ACTUALLY CIANIDE?
HOW RECKLESS OF YOU, CUDDY.
"addicts lie"
I MEAN COME ON HE'S EVEN TELLING YOU HE'S LYING.
NO LOL BUT SRSLY, ADDICTS DON'T LIE, EVERYBODY LIES. EVERYBODY.
I am NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I ONLY HAD 5 DRINKS THIS MORNING, HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING SO FOUL.
YES. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. YOUR MOTHER IS A GODDAMN FUCKING ANGEL, IS WHAT SHE IS. YOU BETTER GO CLEAN YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP.
WELL HOUSE SAID IT, AND WHY EVEN SECONDGUESS ANYTHING HE DIAGNOSES WE ALWAYS KNOW HE'S RIGHT... EVENTUALLY.
AND THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND DIAGNOSIS SO IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES OR SO HE'LL GUESS RIGHT. THIS MIGHT BE IT.
YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOU ARE NO DAUGHTER OF MINE.
I'M OFF THE CASE HOUSE, SORRY. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND DON'T TELL ME. BUT DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. ANYWAYSSSSSS, I NEED TO GET UP, I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS BENCH.
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT RACHEL TOLD YOU, BUT I PROMISE I WON'T PUNCH YOU.
AND BLAH BLAH BLAH SECOND BAD STORYLINE BLAH
i had to include this. sorry. so. hot.
YOU WERE WRONG. I WOULDNT'VE IMAGINED SOMETHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENING. BUT IT DID.
IT'S NEVER LUPUS. COME ON.
OH OH, WE'RE PLAYING THIS GAME! OKAY. 2 WORDS.
I KNOW THIS! OKAY, IS IT "FUCK YOU"?
WELL IT WAS PRETTY EASY.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE HER MEDICINE WITHOUT HER DOCTOR KNOWING?
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS HOUSE. YOU'VE NEVER DONE SOMETHING AS BAD AS THIS.
NONE OF US HAVE.
NOT EVEN THAT TIME CHASE KILLED A PATIENT. I MEAN THOSE TWO TIMES.
OR THAT TIME I STABBED A COLLEAGUE WITH A POSSIBLY INFECTED NEEDLE.
OR THAT OTHER TIME YOU HIRED A PI TO CHANGE A PATIENT'S DRUG.
OR THAT OTHER TIME CHASE REATTACHED A GUYS FINGER WHEN HE SAID NOT TO.
OR HOW ABOUT THAT TIME YOU INJECTED A VEGETATIVE PATIENT WITH SOME DRUGS TO REVIVE HIM.
OR THAT ONE TIME YOU GAVE A HEADACHE TO A COMATOSE PATIENT.
OR EVERY EPISODE WHEN HE DOES SHIT LIKE THIS, AND THE MILLION AND ONE ILLEGAL THINGS YOU'VE DONE.
THIS IS BAD, THIS IS JUST BAD.
IT IS SUPER BAD
LOOK AT ME I'M USING MY CRAZY EYES AND EVERYTHING
"I'LL DO IT. GIVE ME YOUR PAD. I KINDA FORGOT MINE AT MY THREESOME APARTMENT. OR MY SEX WITH UNDERAGED GIRLS APARTMENT? I DON'T KNOW."
"You don't have to do this, Chase, he can't fire us for not doing something illegal"
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
YEAH YOUR KID IS DYING LULZ. LOOK AT THE FILES? LOL NO I JUST GLANCED AT IT. BUT I *KNOW* HE'S DYING. I WORK FOR HOUSE AND HE NEVER LIES. YOU GOTTA TRUST ME.
Awww, holding the hand of the favourite child.
#NOIAMINNOWAYBITTERNOTATALL
HEY! SO LIKE, I THINK HOUSE IS CHANGING YOUR MOTHER'S MEDICINE JUST SAYIN.
YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP YOU OUT OF IT. FUCKING WOMEN.
THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING, GODDAMN MY AWFUL MOTHER AND HER ABILITY TO BUG THE FUCK OUT OF ME EVEN WHEN SHE'S SICK.
come on, don't SPEAK THAT WAY about the angel.
So yeah mom, i'm like here all night helping you with your shit and stuff, do you like me and shit?
"Yeah I totes love you, I mean, you came out of my vagina and shit. you're adorable and I love you."
"YAY! =)"
"But I like your sister better."
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR CUDDY. I MEAN. #ITSNOTLIKEICANTOTALLYANDABSOLUTELYRELATETOTHISPARTICULARMOMENTRIGHTFUCKINGNOW
LOL U WERE WRONG THE KID IS NOT DYING.
LOL SO WE ALL SCREWED UP BY SWITCHING THE MEDICINE.
"Um, you mean YOU SCREWED UP"
"Yeah, you can leave, boreman"
SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO! LET'S TALK LOUDLY IN CASE MARTHA WALKS IN
OH GODDAMNIT! DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING TRACE ON YOUR NAME LIKE VOLDEMORT?
I HATE BEING KICKED OUT OF MY OFFICE, BUT THAT'S COOL, I'LL GO SHOESHOPPING.
HEY NOW THAT CUDDY'S OUT OF THIS OFFICE I JUST WANT TO TALK YOU KNOW. SO WHAT'S UP, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BFFS. THAT CHASE IS A REAL CUTIE ISN'T HE. I HEARD HE'S INTO THREESOMES, MAYBE YOU CAN GET IT! LOL K AND ALSO I WILL DESTROY YOU. BYE.
I AM NOT BULIMIC I'M JUST SCURRRDDD.
*MEANWHILE, AT THE LAND OF STORYLINES NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT*
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T SHOVE MY HEAD AGAINST SOME PIPES WHILE I WAS TAKING A PISS! I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE OMG.
I LIED.
=( CALL ME....
OH SHIT. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT.
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. THIS IS AWFUL. THIS IS DISGUSTING. YOU LIED. YOU ALL LIED. I'M GOING TO REPORT YOU TO WHATEVER I CAN REPORT YOU TO. LOL NO I WON'T I JUST WILL THREATEN YOU WITH IT, BUT THIS IS BAD. I AM MAD. I AM REALLY MAD. I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL.
Arlene is gone, you need to get that flawless amazing angel back into the hospital.
WHY THO.
(LMFAO I FUCKING LOVE THIS. THE LIGHTS IN THIS EPISODE ARE NONEXISTANT, EVERYTHING IS SUPER DARK.
THERE IS NOT EVEN DRAMATIC MUSIC.
EVERYONE IS SPORTING THE SOUREST OF FACES.
CUDDY'S MOM IS ABOUT TO DIE EVERY 30 SECONDS.
EVERYTHING IS A MORAL DILEMMA.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF? IT IS RAINING.
GOOD JOB ON SETTING THE MOOD RIGHT, DIRECTORS.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY NOW.)
BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ELSE KILLS HER, I WILL NEVER HAVE THE PLEASURE TO DO IT MYSELF.
YOU ARE THE PERFECT MAN.
CUE SAD SLOW MUSIC WHILE CUDDY RUNS SLOMO TOWARDS THE AMBULANCE
GET. OUT. ADOPTEDSISTER.
THEY HAVE A CUTE AMBULANCE MOMENT AND CUDDY TELLS HER MOM WHAT THEY SHOULD MAKE EVERY PATIENT SIGN WHEN THEY ARE ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL
"STAY HERE AND YOU'LL LIVE BUT WE'LL TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT TROLOLOLOL BUT YOU'LL LIVE"
AND THE BULLYING WORKED! CUDDY'S MOM IS NOW BACK IN THIS HOSPITAL. I WONDER IF THESE TWO WILL EVER FIND A BETTER WAY OF COMMUNICATING.
LOL WHO AM I KIDDING MY MOM AND I ONLY TALK THROUGH THREATS, HEY, WORKS FOR US.
I KNOW WHAT SHE HAS.
STOP PLAYING CUTE AND DO SOMETHING.
ALSO I WOULD NOT WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS FACE.
LOL YEAH. WHEN I CUT A HUGE HOLE INTO MY SKIN IT DOESN'T BLEED OR ANYTHING TOO.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER. NOW YOU CAN KILL HER.
I LOBE YOU.
TINY TAUB HAS A TINY CUTE MOMENT.
YEAH LOL SO ABOUT THAT FIRING THING, I WAS LYING. I KINDA NEED A BABYSITTER, SOOOO....
HI MOM, FEELING BETTER? I'M SORRY ADOPTEDSISTER, CAN YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM? I WANT TO HAVE A MOMENT WITH MY MOTHER.
SO, LIKE I WAS SAYING LISA, 2 POINTS FOR THE INTERWEBZ, 0 FOR HOUSE.
I LOVE YOU. NEVER CHANGE. PLEASE NEVER STOP BEING A BITCH.
THIS IS UNREALISTIC. I'M JUST SAYIN. IT NEVER HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE. #ANDI'MNOTTALKINGFROMPERSONALEXPERIENCEORANYTHING
THE. END <3.