FIC POST
This one is pretty serious. I was just sitting here watching Honor Amongst Thieves and it came to my mind....it needed to be written. I dont know what everyone will think of it. I do not intend to victimize Prentiss but I do believe she had some events growing up that changed her path in life. Feedback would be grand....again, this is my first attempt in this fandom at something heavy.
Title: The Hidden Storm
Author: Montiese
Category: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Hotch/Prentiss
Rating: MATURE
Summary: He was fumbling around in the dark and instinct told him it was about to get darker.
Author’s Note: This is for the prompt secret from the past and deals with a serious and sensitive subject matter.
“Emily?”
She jumped when she heard another voice in the room. The quiet had been comforting. Standing in front of her living room window watching the heavy rainfall over the nation’s capital brought her a little peace. She wasn’t able to sleep and left Hotch in bed almost an hour ago. The storm didn’t bother him but Emily knew what kind of sleeper he was. If she stayed beside him any longer, he would wake and ask questions. She couldn’t face that right now.
“Em?”
When his hand fell on her shoulders, Emily tensed and moved away. Hotch didn’t like that at all, they were past that kind of behavior in their relationship. Something was wrong and he needed to find out what it was. She had not been herself for days and he could not pinpoint when things started to get weird. Weird was an offshoot of what they did everyday; it sometimes bled into their personal lives. This was different. Emily was different.
“Did the storm wake you?” he asked. “I thought it would calm during the night.”
“What did he want this afternoon in your office?”
“I'm sorry?” Hotch rubbed his eyes.
“Senator Clayton came to your office again this afternoon. I need to know what he wanted. From past experience I know that asking you that is sensitive but please, Aaron, if you can tell me then I need to know.”
“Some people think I want to run the FBI someday.”
Emily turned away from the window and looked at him. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body. Dressed in one of his ratty American University tee shirts with her hair back in a ponytail, she looked very vulnerable. Hotch sat on the arm of her couch.
“They think I want to play politics but I don’t like their games. They show up occasionally, talking what they talk. He is a high-powered Senator and thinks he can put me in his pocket with the rest of his markers. We discussed allocating more funds to the BAU through his prominent position on the Appropriations Committee. The Senator did most of the talking. I want no part of that; I am happy where I am, Em.”
He held out his hand for her but she didn’t take it. Yeah, something was definitely wrong. He needed to touch her, to feel that she was alright but Hotch had been a profiler long enough to know that was not a good idea.
“Is he another friend of yours?” he asked.
“He is no friend of mine.” She replied through clenched teeth.
“Emily, what's the matter?”
“Did he say anything about me?”
“Why would he…?” Hotch stopped. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out where this conversation was going. He was fumbling around in the dark and instinct told him it was about to get darker. Better to get his bearings so that nothing knocked him to the floor. “Come and sit…please.”
He sat down on the couch and she finally joined him. Sitting on the other end, he did his best to respect her space. She needed to talk to him and maybe after that he could give her the comfort she needed.
“He was a friend of my parents. There was a time when I was a teenager, barely a teenager, when he was always around. My parents’ marriage was failing then; I knew it was only a matter of time. The Senator took a keen interest in my mother and Mother took the bait. Uncle Larry…that’s what Julia and I always called him.”
“He didn’t tell me any of that when we spoke. It wasn’t a personal visit.”
“When I was 15 my family spent the summer in Verona. I used to swim at night; it would get so hot there. He used to watch me, I never knew until the night he…he said my mother’s job could be at risk. She was a woman in a man’s world and one slip-up could ruin everything she worked for. He asked me if I loved my mother and what was I willing to do…” Emily covered her mouth with her hand. She closed her eyes and the tears came. Hotch was crawling out of his skin to get to her. Dammit, his mind screamed, don't say it, don’t say it, please God, don’t say it. “I let him do what he wanted because I knew that my mother loved her job probably more than she loved me. He was so powerful; he had the ear of the President with one phone call. My mother was powerful too but I was so unsure of what she was capable of doing against him and his cronies. She could have lost everything and it would have been my fault.”
“It wouldn’t have been your fault.” Hotch’s jaw tightened. “You were just a teenaged girl.”
“I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell anyone what he was doing to me. Mother kept her job in the Ukraine and I went back to school in September. The school Counselor called her when I stopped eating. It was my mother who told me it wasn’t rape if I consented.”
“A child cannot consent.”
“I don’t even know if Verona has an age of consent at that time. It didn’t matter anyway; it was over. My mother knew and she told me that horrible things could happen to me if I pursued the matter. She said she was not willing to let that happen because I had been through enough. She said that she would take care of it and I wasn’t to tell a soul but the doctors.”
“He’s still in the Senate…how did she take care of it?”
“He never came to the house again. His wife left him and took the children back to Virginia. My mother’s friends used to whisper, laughing about her holding an affair over his head. I was not some mistress.”
“That’s all he got? He got divorced for raping you?”
“My mother kept her position, rising to even more prominence. I didn’t want him to tell you that we had some romantic history. It was anything but that. I couldn’t let you think I was some…Lolita.”
“I don’t think that.” Hotch grasped her hands, holding on tight. This time she didn’t shy away from his touch. “You were a scared kid. He was a predator and threatened you with the one thing he could, your mother’s love.”
They were both quiet for a while. Emily’s hands shook in his and she began to sob. Hotch pulled her to him, holding her tight as she released the decades of anger, sorrow, and pain. Had she ever told anyone what happened to her? When did she begin to eat again? Were there other signs of unhealthy behavior when she was away at school? Did anyone but that Counselor help her through what must have been the most agonizing time in her life? He had no clue.
Hotch never perceived something like this in her past. Sure, the Prentiss family wasn’t as perfect as they looked in those pictures on the family room piano. Still this was beyond even Hotch’s thoughts on their dysfunction. Did her father know? Did her sister, who Emily didn’t see enough but loved with all her heart? Had Lawrence Clayton been holding this over her head for all these years waiting to knock anyone who was willing to love her off their feet with the information? Surely his version would have been a little different but he would never have a chance to tell it…Hotch would surely kill him if he stepped foot in his office again.
“I'm sorry Hotch, I'm so sorry; I never wanted to tell you something like this.”
“I love you and you can tell me anything.”
“It’s my dirty secret…one of them.” she pulled away and gave him the saddest smile. Hotch was sure he felt his heart breaking as she attempted to be brave for him. Yeah, this was the first time she ever told anyone. He was sure of it.
“It will never change how I feel about you.” He took her face in his hands. “Never.”
“Swear to me,” she whispered.
“I swear Emily. I…I want to kill him. I want to wipe the self-assured look off his face with the barrel of my Glock.”
“I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just feared he would come back, like you were a mouse and he was the cat. It would start with something simple like politics and turn into something so ugly. I have seen it happen more times than I care to recall. People have been destroyed Hotch. I couldn’t let that happen to you; I would rather sacrifice what we have then let that happen to you.”
“What we have is strong, even stronger right now.” he held her close again. He kissed her face and let out the breath he was holding. “You're not that scared teenage girl anymore. You are a strong, capable, amazing woman and he cannot and will not hurt you ever again.”
“I know that. I didn’t want him hurting you. I didn’t want him to take away the one person I truly loved.”
“And I love you for that. He’s not going to hurt me either.”
The tears subsided and Emily moved out of his arms and left the room. Hotch wanted to follow her but she needed the time and space. He stood and started to pace, doing his best not to let his anger take over completely. He shook that bastard’s hand. He shook the hand that hurt Emily in the worst way possible.
He suddenly felt as if he would never be clean again. Killing him was all that Hotch had on his mind, wrapping his arms around the Senator’s scrawny neck until all life was gone from him. He would do it for Emily and all the other girls he hurt. Because bastards like him were never one-time offenders.
She had been gone for too long. A strange feeling running through his stomach, Hotch rushed into the bedroom. Emily sat on the edge of the bed. Hotch quickly looked her over while appearing not to; she hadn't hurt herself.
“I wasn’t going to kill myself Hotch. Those feelings have been gone for nearly 20 years.”
“I didn’t think…” well there was really no point of lying. He sighed. “I was just worried about you.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I'm exhausted.”
“I'm sure. Do you want…should I…?” he was unsure what to do and hated that feeling. Everyone was out of control sometimes but Hotch didn’t have to like it.
“Come to bed; hold onto me.”
He did what she needed him to do. Emily curled her body and Hotch spooned behind her, just holding on. He hardly slept that night; he didn’t think she did either. There were more tears but Emily did her best to keep them to herself. He didn’t like that…she knew that she could share anything with him. There was a storm raging inside and outside. Hotch didn’t know exactly what the damage would be but he planned to pick up every piece with his bare hands and put them back as she needed them to be.
***
Title: The Hidden Storm
Author: Montiese
Category: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Hotch/Prentiss
Rating: MATURE
Summary: He was fumbling around in the dark and instinct told him it was about to get darker.
Author’s Note: This is for the prompt secret from the past and deals with a serious and sensitive subject matter.
“Emily?”
She jumped when she heard another voice in the room. The quiet had been comforting. Standing in front of her living room window watching the heavy rainfall over the nation’s capital brought her a little peace. She wasn’t able to sleep and left Hotch in bed almost an hour ago. The storm didn’t bother him but Emily knew what kind of sleeper he was. If she stayed beside him any longer, he would wake and ask questions. She couldn’t face that right now.
“Em?”
When his hand fell on her shoulders, Emily tensed and moved away. Hotch didn’t like that at all, they were past that kind of behavior in their relationship. Something was wrong and he needed to find out what it was. She had not been herself for days and he could not pinpoint when things started to get weird. Weird was an offshoot of what they did everyday; it sometimes bled into their personal lives. This was different. Emily was different.
“Did the storm wake you?” he asked. “I thought it would calm during the night.”
“What did he want this afternoon in your office?”
“I'm sorry?” Hotch rubbed his eyes.
“Senator Clayton came to your office again this afternoon. I need to know what he wanted. From past experience I know that asking you that is sensitive but please, Aaron, if you can tell me then I need to know.”
“Some people think I want to run the FBI someday.”
Emily turned away from the window and looked at him. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body. Dressed in one of his ratty American University tee shirts with her hair back in a ponytail, she looked very vulnerable. Hotch sat on the arm of her couch.
“They think I want to play politics but I don’t like their games. They show up occasionally, talking what they talk. He is a high-powered Senator and thinks he can put me in his pocket with the rest of his markers. We discussed allocating more funds to the BAU through his prominent position on the Appropriations Committee. The Senator did most of the talking. I want no part of that; I am happy where I am, Em.”
He held out his hand for her but she didn’t take it. Yeah, something was definitely wrong. He needed to touch her, to feel that she was alright but Hotch had been a profiler long enough to know that was not a good idea.
“Is he another friend of yours?” he asked.
“He is no friend of mine.” She replied through clenched teeth.
“Emily, what's the matter?”
“Did he say anything about me?”
“Why would he…?” Hotch stopped. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out where this conversation was going. He was fumbling around in the dark and instinct told him it was about to get darker. Better to get his bearings so that nothing knocked him to the floor. “Come and sit…please.”
He sat down on the couch and she finally joined him. Sitting on the other end, he did his best to respect her space. She needed to talk to him and maybe after that he could give her the comfort she needed.
“He was a friend of my parents. There was a time when I was a teenager, barely a teenager, when he was always around. My parents’ marriage was failing then; I knew it was only a matter of time. The Senator took a keen interest in my mother and Mother took the bait. Uncle Larry…that’s what Julia and I always called him.”
“He didn’t tell me any of that when we spoke. It wasn’t a personal visit.”
“When I was 15 my family spent the summer in Verona. I used to swim at night; it would get so hot there. He used to watch me, I never knew until the night he…he said my mother’s job could be at risk. She was a woman in a man’s world and one slip-up could ruin everything she worked for. He asked me if I loved my mother and what was I willing to do…” Emily covered her mouth with her hand. She closed her eyes and the tears came. Hotch was crawling out of his skin to get to her. Dammit, his mind screamed, don't say it, don’t say it, please God, don’t say it. “I let him do what he wanted because I knew that my mother loved her job probably more than she loved me. He was so powerful; he had the ear of the President with one phone call. My mother was powerful too but I was so unsure of what she was capable of doing against him and his cronies. She could have lost everything and it would have been my fault.”
“It wouldn’t have been your fault.” Hotch’s jaw tightened. “You were just a teenaged girl.”
“I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell anyone what he was doing to me. Mother kept her job in the Ukraine and I went back to school in September. The school Counselor called her when I stopped eating. It was my mother who told me it wasn’t rape if I consented.”
“A child cannot consent.”
“I don’t even know if Verona has an age of consent at that time. It didn’t matter anyway; it was over. My mother knew and she told me that horrible things could happen to me if I pursued the matter. She said she was not willing to let that happen because I had been through enough. She said that she would take care of it and I wasn’t to tell a soul but the doctors.”
“He’s still in the Senate…how did she take care of it?”
“He never came to the house again. His wife left him and took the children back to Virginia. My mother’s friends used to whisper, laughing about her holding an affair over his head. I was not some mistress.”
“That’s all he got? He got divorced for raping you?”
“My mother kept her position, rising to even more prominence. I didn’t want him to tell you that we had some romantic history. It was anything but that. I couldn’t let you think I was some…Lolita.”
“I don’t think that.” Hotch grasped her hands, holding on tight. This time she didn’t shy away from his touch. “You were a scared kid. He was a predator and threatened you with the one thing he could, your mother’s love.”
They were both quiet for a while. Emily’s hands shook in his and she began to sob. Hotch pulled her to him, holding her tight as she released the decades of anger, sorrow, and pain. Had she ever told anyone what happened to her? When did she begin to eat again? Were there other signs of unhealthy behavior when she was away at school? Did anyone but that Counselor help her through what must have been the most agonizing time in her life? He had no clue.
Hotch never perceived something like this in her past. Sure, the Prentiss family wasn’t as perfect as they looked in those pictures on the family room piano. Still this was beyond even Hotch’s thoughts on their dysfunction. Did her father know? Did her sister, who Emily didn’t see enough but loved with all her heart? Had Lawrence Clayton been holding this over her head for all these years waiting to knock anyone who was willing to love her off their feet with the information? Surely his version would have been a little different but he would never have a chance to tell it…Hotch would surely kill him if he stepped foot in his office again.
“I'm sorry Hotch, I'm so sorry; I never wanted to tell you something like this.”
“I love you and you can tell me anything.”
“It’s my dirty secret…one of them.” she pulled away and gave him the saddest smile. Hotch was sure he felt his heart breaking as she attempted to be brave for him. Yeah, this was the first time she ever told anyone. He was sure of it.
“It will never change how I feel about you.” He took her face in his hands. “Never.”
“Swear to me,” she whispered.
“I swear Emily. I…I want to kill him. I want to wipe the self-assured look off his face with the barrel of my Glock.”
“I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just feared he would come back, like you were a mouse and he was the cat. It would start with something simple like politics and turn into something so ugly. I have seen it happen more times than I care to recall. People have been destroyed Hotch. I couldn’t let that happen to you; I would rather sacrifice what we have then let that happen to you.”
“What we have is strong, even stronger right now.” he held her close again. He kissed her face and let out the breath he was holding. “You're not that scared teenage girl anymore. You are a strong, capable, amazing woman and he cannot and will not hurt you ever again.”
“I know that. I didn’t want him hurting you. I didn’t want him to take away the one person I truly loved.”
“And I love you for that. He’s not going to hurt me either.”
The tears subsided and Emily moved out of his arms and left the room. Hotch wanted to follow her but she needed the time and space. He stood and started to pace, doing his best not to let his anger take over completely. He shook that bastard’s hand. He shook the hand that hurt Emily in the worst way possible.
He suddenly felt as if he would never be clean again. Killing him was all that Hotch had on his mind, wrapping his arms around the Senator’s scrawny neck until all life was gone from him. He would do it for Emily and all the other girls he hurt. Because bastards like him were never one-time offenders.
She had been gone for too long. A strange feeling running through his stomach, Hotch rushed into the bedroom. Emily sat on the edge of the bed. Hotch quickly looked her over while appearing not to; she hadn't hurt herself.
“I wasn’t going to kill myself Hotch. Those feelings have been gone for nearly 20 years.”
“I didn’t think…” well there was really no point of lying. He sighed. “I was just worried about you.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I'm exhausted.”
“I'm sure. Do you want…should I…?” he was unsure what to do and hated that feeling. Everyone was out of control sometimes but Hotch didn’t have to like it.
“Come to bed; hold onto me.”
He did what she needed him to do. Emily curled her body and Hotch spooned behind her, just holding on. He hardly slept that night; he didn’t think she did either. There were more tears but Emily did her best to keep them to herself. He didn’t like that…she knew that she could share anything with him. There was a storm raging inside and outside. Hotch didn’t know exactly what the damage would be but he planned to pick up every piece with his bare hands and put them back as she needed them to be.
***