The World Between Awake and Asleep [Part IV]
Title: The World Between Awake and Asleep
Author: hostilecrayon
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go was created by Hotta and Obata and is distributed by Viz, Shogakuen and Shonen Jump.
Notes: Late because I have a baby and because I was insane and decided to participate in both Remix and Blind Go, as well as doing Help Japan - which has two prompts waiting for me to fill them, so I figured I’d better whip this out before anyone kills me. And of course there are also several other fics gnawing on me. Sigh.
I am not entirely happy with the first half of this, but alas, I couldn’t find a beta to poke it for me who was willing to be spoiled for the ending and also willing to take an ax to my sentence structure, so I guess it goes up as-is. I’m much happier with the second half, even if it is just a little bit cheesy as all hell. I just love playing with canon parallels, and thus, here you go.
Also, please don’t throw tomatoes at me?
Dedicated to Bookshop and SVZ_Insanity.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
The match was uneventful, as usual. It was an easy win, and disappointing, which was what he’d come to expect. Even in the games he lost, there wasn’t much to get excited about. He barely concealed his sigh when we went to stamp his win. Game after game in the professional world could never touch the games in his memory.
He’d rather play with Waya and Isumi, even as they were in this strange world he’d found himself in. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to get them to consider playing professionally, but he’d find a way. He had to. And then there was Touya…
He ran into something hard and warm, his mind automatically alerting him that it was a person, and he mumbled, “Excuse me,” even before looking up. He didn’t think he trusted his eyes when he did.
“I’m Yashiro Kiyoharu and I’d like to challenge you to a game, Shindou Hikaru.”
Hikaru blinked. “You certainly cut right to the chase, don’t you?”
Yashiro grinned. “I don’t hold back. Not in life, and definitely not in my Go.”
Hikaru found himself grinning, too. “I guess I can’t afford to hold back, either, now can I?”
It felt good to be the one approached. He’d been chasing after the people from his dream world for so long that he had begun to lose hope that any of them were walking their rightful paths as Go players. Hearing Yashiro talk excitedly about the Pro Exam as they approached the customer game room was just what he’d needed.
They took their seats. Yashiro won black, and Hikaru held his breath. It was all well and good to be excited about finding Yashiro walking the path to being a Pro, but all that really mattered was the Go he played.
The stones made the familiar clacking sound as Yashiro dug one out, flipping it up from his palm to hold it expertly between two fingers, reaching for the board. Hikaru felt electricity shoot through him in anticipation, and he couldn’t help but gasp when his move was made.
First hand Tengen.
Yashiro smirked mischievously. “Surprised?”
“Pleased,” Hikaru corrected, slapping a stone down at 5-5 with a sharp pachi.
The game progressed much like their first, with one very noticeable difference - Yashiro was stronger. Much stronger.
Hikaru’s smile then was a private one. He had three years of experience on top of all the games from his memory. He was stronger, too.
The game spiraled quickly towards yose. It was a brilliant mess and Hikaru was loathe for it to end. He could feel the excitement in each hand like nothing he’d felt since he woke up to find himself still a child. It was a better game than any he’d played in this life, and though it was clear that he would win, he wanted to keep playing this Go, this Go that filled him with life.
“Shindou Hikaru.”
He’d know that voice anywhere. He turned, taking in the sight of his rival, appearing out of nowhere just as he always had.
“Shindou, let’s play.” There was a strange darkness in his voice; a faint shake vibrating through his body. He seemed almost angry.
“Touya!” And just like that, Yashiro and the lively Go he played were forgotten. A million things went through Hikaru’s head in an instant. What was he doing here? Why now? Did he remember, or was it fate that connected them this way? But what he actually said was, “Finally.”
Touya turned dark eyes past Hikaru to Yashiro, but his words were not for the silver-haired boy. “I’ll wait.”
Hikaru’s eyes turned back to the board, but the game he didn’t want to end suddenly seemed like it would take an eternity to play.
Yashiro must have sensed something, because he just shook his head. “I was about to resign, anyway.”
“It was a great game. Did you want to go over it?” Hikaru felt kind of bad, but he really hoped he didn’t. His eyes drifted to Touya, who was staring at the board with a concentration Hikaru knew all too well.
“We don’t need to go over it as long as you’re willing to give me a rematch.”
“Anytime,” Hikaru said, and meant it. But right now, he had another game on his mind.
He turned to Touya. “I’ve waited a long time for this,” he intoned solemnly. “It’s finally time to begin.”
---
Akira wasted no time taking the seat Yashiro vacated, confused and yet still somehow excited about this game. He could feel the adrenaline running through him and knew that it was fear of what he might find here than caused it. His opponent, too, was visibly shaken; his goke lid clattering loudly as he set it down.
He’d been waiting for this, he’d said. Akira couldn’t fathom why, or for what reason, but there was something at risk here, rolling just beneath the surface. It felt like this might be the most important thing he ever did in his life, but that didn’t make sense. He didn’t even know this boy.
They performed a nigiri to decide who would go first - something Akira had not known how to do until he was doing it, and they began, no further words passing between them. Shindou 4-dan placed his first stone, hoshi, his mind supplied, and his heart thudded in his chest. When his fingers dug into his goke, it did not feel like the first time.
He drew out a stone, holding it expertly between two fingers… and drew a blank. He could understand the game, he could go through the motions, but no moves of his own came to him. He stared at the board for a long time, hand hovering above it, but it wasn’t until his opponent opened his mouth to speak that he placed the stone - not where his instinct had told him, but in a place he had read in a kifu.
The game progressed in this fashion for a while, Shindou 4-dan playing stones, Akira responding in places he had seen used in the numerous kifu he had studied. As the game entered chuuban, his opponent became more forceful, his stones hitting the board harshly and increasingly rapidly.
Before they had even approached yose, Shindou 4-dan stood abruptly, his eyes narrowed dangerously.
“Just what are you playing at, Touya?”
Akira stared back in shock. “What?”
Shindou’s hands hit the table hard, making the stones jump and wobble on the board. “This is not your Go.”
It was not a question.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akira retorted, but he could feel a lump forming in his throat at seeing the boy so obviously upset with him.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you think you could get away with playing old games against me?” Shindou was quivering, his posture like a bow strung too tightly, about to snap.
“How would you know what my Go is like?” Akira cried, needing to understand; unsure if he wanted to know.
There was silence, and then, in a quiet, wavering voice, “I know you better than anyone.”
There was something then; the briefest of moments where he felt as if he’d heard that line before, only it was him who had said it. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, and as Akira had no idea what to do, he ran.
---
The boy had clearly been nothing special. Any amateur could copy moves off of kifu - it did not take much skill. And yet, something about this boy had captured Shindou Hikaru’s attention. It was obvious enough to Yashiro as each move became more agitated, but even if he hadn’t noticed it, that scene in which he was so obviously forgotten about rose unfathomable questions that Yashiro couldn’t even begin to answer.
Who was this Touya who was so easily about to rattle the brilliantly talented Shindou? The boy had no idea who he was playing against to try such ridiculous tactics on him, and yet, something had made the rising young pro expect more. Even after the boy had fled, Shindou stared unseeing at the aborted game, his rage barely concealed behind wet eyes.
He tried to say something to him, but Shindou either did not hear him or was just plain ignoring him. Either way, he thought it might be time to make his exit.
He would have to make sure to bump into Shindou again for another game, and he’d keep that Touya kid in the back of his mind, just in case. If he had the favor of Shindou Hikaru, there had to be something there, something more than a poorly played game of Go.
---
Days went by, blurring together in a haze of professional games played with a distant aloofness. He couldn’t believe what had happened; couldn’t tear his mind away from that day when Touya had played what he was loathe to even call a game. It had been a mimic; a fake game unsuitable for either of them. He had thought that at least with Touya, everything would be as it should.
He thought about Sai, and about the wisdom he could sometimes impart about Go, but there was nothing that applied here. Thinking of Sai hurt almost as much as this twisted version of Touya, so he derailed his thoughts by meeting with Waya and Isumi as much as possible.
In his professional games, he coldly cut down his opponents in his rage, but with Waya and Isumi, he could find a modicum of enjoyment, watching their Go develop into what it should be. This year, the pro exams were already in motion, but he felt he could have them ready before next summer approached. He’d have to convince them to take it, but he’d worry about that when the time came.
He needed them in the professional world of Go with him, his Go needed them, but he wasn’t sure if it would be enough. Yashiro had improved, and playing him with his newfound strength had been inspiring, but it wasn’t the same. He could play brilliant games with Yashiro, but he could never be his rival. There was something missing. It was frustrating to know what that was and yet be completely unable to do anything about it.
Shindou had kifu of every game he had ever played in his dream. Out of determination, or perhaps desperation, he took out a fresh sheet of paper and copied down the game he had played with Touya after chasing him for so long. He had his kifu books next to him, but he found he did not need to look - this game would be burned into his memory until the day he died.
Across the top, he scrawled ‘Two years and four months’. Touya had waited that long for him. It was only fair that he allow him the same. If he could not make it to his world in that time, he never would.
Hikaru made out the envelope carefully, and with a tremor in his hand, he dropped it into the mailbox.
Your move, Touya.
Author: hostilecrayon
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go was created by Hotta and Obata and is distributed by Viz, Shogakuen and Shonen Jump.
Notes: Late because I have a baby and because I was insane and decided to participate in both Remix and Blind Go, as well as doing Help Japan - which has two prompts waiting for me to fill them, so I figured I’d better whip this out before anyone kills me. And of course there are also several other fics gnawing on me. Sigh.
I am not entirely happy with the first half of this, but alas, I couldn’t find a beta to poke it for me who was willing to be spoiled for the ending and also willing to take an ax to my sentence structure, so I guess it goes up as-is. I’m much happier with the second half, even if it is just a little bit cheesy as all hell. I just love playing with canon parallels, and thus, here you go.
Also, please don’t throw tomatoes at me?
Dedicated to Bookshop and SVZ_Insanity.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
The match was uneventful, as usual. It was an easy win, and disappointing, which was what he’d come to expect. Even in the games he lost, there wasn’t much to get excited about. He barely concealed his sigh when we went to stamp his win. Game after game in the professional world could never touch the games in his memory.
He’d rather play with Waya and Isumi, even as they were in this strange world he’d found himself in. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to get them to consider playing professionally, but he’d find a way. He had to. And then there was Touya…
He ran into something hard and warm, his mind automatically alerting him that it was a person, and he mumbled, “Excuse me,” even before looking up. He didn’t think he trusted his eyes when he did.
“I’m Yashiro Kiyoharu and I’d like to challenge you to a game, Shindou Hikaru.”
Hikaru blinked. “You certainly cut right to the chase, don’t you?”
Yashiro grinned. “I don’t hold back. Not in life, and definitely not in my Go.”
Hikaru found himself grinning, too. “I guess I can’t afford to hold back, either, now can I?”
It felt good to be the one approached. He’d been chasing after the people from his dream world for so long that he had begun to lose hope that any of them were walking their rightful paths as Go players. Hearing Yashiro talk excitedly about the Pro Exam as they approached the customer game room was just what he’d needed.
They took their seats. Yashiro won black, and Hikaru held his breath. It was all well and good to be excited about finding Yashiro walking the path to being a Pro, but all that really mattered was the Go he played.
The stones made the familiar clacking sound as Yashiro dug one out, flipping it up from his palm to hold it expertly between two fingers, reaching for the board. Hikaru felt electricity shoot through him in anticipation, and he couldn’t help but gasp when his move was made.
First hand Tengen.
Yashiro smirked mischievously. “Surprised?”
“Pleased,” Hikaru corrected, slapping a stone down at 5-5 with a sharp pachi.
The game progressed much like their first, with one very noticeable difference - Yashiro was stronger. Much stronger.
Hikaru’s smile then was a private one. He had three years of experience on top of all the games from his memory. He was stronger, too.
The game spiraled quickly towards yose. It was a brilliant mess and Hikaru was loathe for it to end. He could feel the excitement in each hand like nothing he’d felt since he woke up to find himself still a child. It was a better game than any he’d played in this life, and though it was clear that he would win, he wanted to keep playing this Go, this Go that filled him with life.
“Shindou Hikaru.”
He’d know that voice anywhere. He turned, taking in the sight of his rival, appearing out of nowhere just as he always had.
“Shindou, let’s play.” There was a strange darkness in his voice; a faint shake vibrating through his body. He seemed almost angry.
“Touya!” And just like that, Yashiro and the lively Go he played were forgotten. A million things went through Hikaru’s head in an instant. What was he doing here? Why now? Did he remember, or was it fate that connected them this way? But what he actually said was, “Finally.”
Touya turned dark eyes past Hikaru to Yashiro, but his words were not for the silver-haired boy. “I’ll wait.”
Hikaru’s eyes turned back to the board, but the game he didn’t want to end suddenly seemed like it would take an eternity to play.
Yashiro must have sensed something, because he just shook his head. “I was about to resign, anyway.”
“It was a great game. Did you want to go over it?” Hikaru felt kind of bad, but he really hoped he didn’t. His eyes drifted to Touya, who was staring at the board with a concentration Hikaru knew all too well.
“We don’t need to go over it as long as you’re willing to give me a rematch.”
“Anytime,” Hikaru said, and meant it. But right now, he had another game on his mind.
He turned to Touya. “I’ve waited a long time for this,” he intoned solemnly. “It’s finally time to begin.”
---
Akira wasted no time taking the seat Yashiro vacated, confused and yet still somehow excited about this game. He could feel the adrenaline running through him and knew that it was fear of what he might find here than caused it. His opponent, too, was visibly shaken; his goke lid clattering loudly as he set it down.
He’d been waiting for this, he’d said. Akira couldn’t fathom why, or for what reason, but there was something at risk here, rolling just beneath the surface. It felt like this might be the most important thing he ever did in his life, but that didn’t make sense. He didn’t even know this boy.
They performed a nigiri to decide who would go first - something Akira had not known how to do until he was doing it, and they began, no further words passing between them. Shindou 4-dan placed his first stone, hoshi, his mind supplied, and his heart thudded in his chest. When his fingers dug into his goke, it did not feel like the first time.
He drew out a stone, holding it expertly between two fingers… and drew a blank. He could understand the game, he could go through the motions, but no moves of his own came to him. He stared at the board for a long time, hand hovering above it, but it wasn’t until his opponent opened his mouth to speak that he placed the stone - not where his instinct had told him, but in a place he had read in a kifu.
The game progressed in this fashion for a while, Shindou 4-dan playing stones, Akira responding in places he had seen used in the numerous kifu he had studied. As the game entered chuuban, his opponent became more forceful, his stones hitting the board harshly and increasingly rapidly.
Before they had even approached yose, Shindou 4-dan stood abruptly, his eyes narrowed dangerously.
“Just what are you playing at, Touya?”
Akira stared back in shock. “What?”
Shindou’s hands hit the table hard, making the stones jump and wobble on the board. “This is not your Go.”
It was not a question.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akira retorted, but he could feel a lump forming in his throat at seeing the boy so obviously upset with him.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you think you could get away with playing old games against me?” Shindou was quivering, his posture like a bow strung too tightly, about to snap.
“How would you know what my Go is like?” Akira cried, needing to understand; unsure if he wanted to know.
There was silence, and then, in a quiet, wavering voice, “I know you better than anyone.”
There was something then; the briefest of moments where he felt as if he’d heard that line before, only it was him who had said it. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, and as Akira had no idea what to do, he ran.
---
The boy had clearly been nothing special. Any amateur could copy moves off of kifu - it did not take much skill. And yet, something about this boy had captured Shindou Hikaru’s attention. It was obvious enough to Yashiro as each move became more agitated, but even if he hadn’t noticed it, that scene in which he was so obviously forgotten about rose unfathomable questions that Yashiro couldn’t even begin to answer.
Who was this Touya who was so easily about to rattle the brilliantly talented Shindou? The boy had no idea who he was playing against to try such ridiculous tactics on him, and yet, something had made the rising young pro expect more. Even after the boy had fled, Shindou stared unseeing at the aborted game, his rage barely concealed behind wet eyes.
He tried to say something to him, but Shindou either did not hear him or was just plain ignoring him. Either way, he thought it might be time to make his exit.
He would have to make sure to bump into Shindou again for another game, and he’d keep that Touya kid in the back of his mind, just in case. If he had the favor of Shindou Hikaru, there had to be something there, something more than a poorly played game of Go.
---
Days went by, blurring together in a haze of professional games played with a distant aloofness. He couldn’t believe what had happened; couldn’t tear his mind away from that day when Touya had played what he was loathe to even call a game. It had been a mimic; a fake game unsuitable for either of them. He had thought that at least with Touya, everything would be as it should.
He thought about Sai, and about the wisdom he could sometimes impart about Go, but there was nothing that applied here. Thinking of Sai hurt almost as much as this twisted version of Touya, so he derailed his thoughts by meeting with Waya and Isumi as much as possible.
In his professional games, he coldly cut down his opponents in his rage, but with Waya and Isumi, he could find a modicum of enjoyment, watching their Go develop into what it should be. This year, the pro exams were already in motion, but he felt he could have them ready before next summer approached. He’d have to convince them to take it, but he’d worry about that when the time came.
He needed them in the professional world of Go with him, his Go needed them, but he wasn’t sure if it would be enough. Yashiro had improved, and playing him with his newfound strength had been inspiring, but it wasn’t the same. He could play brilliant games with Yashiro, but he could never be his rival. There was something missing. It was frustrating to know what that was and yet be completely unable to do anything about it.
Shindou had kifu of every game he had ever played in his dream. Out of determination, or perhaps desperation, he took out a fresh sheet of paper and copied down the game he had played with Touya after chasing him for so long. He had his kifu books next to him, but he found he did not need to look - this game would be burned into his memory until the day he died.
Across the top, he scrawled ‘Two years and four months’. Touya had waited that long for him. It was only fair that he allow him the same. If he could not make it to his world in that time, he never would.
Hikaru made out the envelope carefully, and with a tremor in his hand, he dropped it into the mailbox.
Your move, Touya.