TW, trip down memory lane.

[hostage_of_hope]

I'm up in weight, but given the chocolate and wine this weekend. I'm happy I'm still at the 134, and waist is still 26 inches! Wonder what I would weigh and measure if I were to have the loose skin removed? So, it was very little. Then again, I ran over 3.25 miles yesterday, one was a .28 mile that had a 272 elevation gain on it. Then I walked the

Comments

[misguidedsecret]

Wow, you are pretty amazing and strong to have gone through all of that. I have the intrusive thoughts all the time, it tends to get worse when the depression is not as well controlled. A lot have to do with hurting myself or dying but it's different than actual urges because I don't actually want to do what I thought half the time. It's just hard to convince myself sometimes that I don't have to act on that thought. And most of them are so random, like to see what soap tastes like.

I think things would be so much better if the intrusive thoughts would go away; constantly thinking negative things can't be good for someone.

[hostage_of_hope]

Thank you

It boggles me, these thoughts, because when I'm running I'm at my happiest. So, why then? I feel like I have a3 year old inside of me that I have to keep on lock down.

[bookgurrl]

Wow, you've been through a lot of trauma. You are one hell of a strong person to survive all that and come out sane. That's enough to entirely break a person for life. But you've overcome and become a wonderful wife and mother and friend. You should be proud of how strong you are. You truly are a survivor.

[hostage_of_hope]

Thank you. Jury is still out on the sanity verdict. But I do appreciate your kind words

[lovesmonet]

You have been through so much and survived which is a testimony to your inner strength. I'm glad to hear that you want to live and lead the life you were meant to live. Take care.

[hostage_of_hope]

Thank you. Now if I could just not starve myself slowly to death, that would be great

[veronica70]

Wow.
I am so proud of you for facing each and every day, as you do. You truly are amazing. So inspiring! You have been through an INCREDIBLE amount, and yet, you are alive and trying to fight. I am proud of you. I know my words mean nothing, as a complete stranger...but you are so wise and strong, and your story has left an impact on me. So often I find myself feeling sorry for myself, UNINTENTIONALLY, but I get depressed... and here you are with a LIFETIME of hell, and you are getting through each day the best you know how. Never believe that you are less than you are, because you are an AMAZING woman. I hope you find peace and happiness...I am praying that you do.

And also, thank you for the birthday wishes. :) You are so sweet!

[hostage_of_hope]

There are days that I'm barely hanging on by a thin thread, and days I feel what I think is normal. I can't wait to be done with all of this, and through it! But thank you for your words.

And you're welcome.