Terrible!
So I have this dream last night, which started out in the most promising, smexy way.
To start, we were together--in that weird, "does he really like me?" together. I was living in this sorta-house, but it was implied that it was my work, the store, too. Josh was pseudo-living with me, like when he was in town he'd stay with me as I was his sorta-gf. There were other 'sub-plots' going on, but what was totally important was when the dream had me making out with Josh like mad. Oh yes... lying on a bed facing each other, mouthing, tonguing, the works. SO into it. Way big time. Totally.
Just as I was nibbling his tongue, he pulls away and groans. I think, 'Oh, he's SO into it! SO into MEEEE!', and when I ask him why he stopped, he tells me, "I'm sorry, but your breath really smells." Shocked and dismayed, I ask if he wants me to get a mint... "No--it's too much. I don't wanna do this anymore."
:|
So I feel HORRIBLE and humiliated, burying my face into the pillow. Some conversation started up about how if he was attracted to me, and I asked something like, "don't you think I'm hot?" (*snorts derisively*) and he basically said no. When I said, "I think YOU'RE hot," he said, "Oh, I'm not REALLY hot..." in a placating, condescending manner.
So now, I'm so utterly depressed and I get up from the bed to fix up the place. He had somewhere to go, with someone picking him up, so he gets dressed and stuff. I'm feeling so, so terrible, and I just want him to feel bad about what happened, so I'm ignoring him and getting a bit passive-aggressive in trying to avoid him. When his ride showed up, he just went to LEAVE. I stood there and was all, "aren't you going to say GOODBYE, at least!?" He got mad and huffy, saying, "What? I don't have a lot of time, what do you want?"
*WEEPS*!
The dream shifts space and time as most do, and he's back. I don't know why, but I'm wearing this shiny white tie, with a bunny print on the underside and this kinda felt-like decoration of a bunny at the bottom of the front of it. It was implied that it was Easter but not, like it had JUST passed. *shakes head and shrugs in confusion* Anyway, he walks in, all pissy and annoyed because he forgot his tie. I immediately think, 'I'll give him mine! He'll really appreciate me and think of me when he wears it!' so I get it all perfumy and nice. He walks into the room, still angry, and I offer it to him.
This pisses him off even MORE. "Oh GREAT, yea right!" he almost bellowed. I mean, it totally didn't match his outfit and it WAS a pretty stupid fucking tie, lol, but STILL! He got MAD at me, like I'd been a JERK in offering it. I then started crying, all lower-lip-shaking and yell back, "You don't have to be so mean to me!" He started mumbling and shrugging and grumbling.
At this point, I was all, 'so he's hot, so he's my fave movie star--FUCK THIS!' I start slicing up a pumpkin pie (NO! I don't KNOW what it was doing in this dream!), and I tell him to go ahead and leave. "And we're done," I told him, basically breaking up. He went quiet a moment then said, "Well, I was going to stay with you forever, but if that's what you want, okay."
I IMMEDIATELY want to take it back and say 'okay, well, let's work on us, baby', but I stood my ground. Like I'd thought, he's Josh and OH so hot and stuff, but he was SO FUCKING MEAN!! Honestly, wtf?!
When I woke up, I told my husband, "I had a nightmare." He was all, "Oh no! What happened?" So I explained away, and Pan got so sympathetic, saying, "Omg, that's terrible! Honey!" then explained that it probably had something to do with my period. I DO get insecure and down on myself at times, and ESPECIALLY when I'm a ragtime-gal.
Then we had a chuckle over "what if"s, involving Josh coming across *this entry* (I told Pan I was gonna make this post, lol), and him thinking, "Omg... that's terrible! Even if she HAD bad breath, I wouldn't be such a dick about it!" So... Josh? If you ever DO read this, no, I don't think you're a jerk. But you WERE, dream-wise, so be careful. I really do NOT wanna fall outta love with you.
*sigh* Why couldn't it have been him saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm seeing Elijah, I can't kiss you!" instead of ME having halitosis...?
To start, we were together--in that weird, "does he really like me?" together. I was living in this sorta-house, but it was implied that it was my work, the store, too. Josh was pseudo-living with me, like when he was in town he'd stay with me as I was his sorta-gf. There were other 'sub-plots' going on, but what was totally important was when the dream had me making out with Josh like mad. Oh yes... lying on a bed facing each other, mouthing, tonguing, the works. SO into it. Way big time. Totally.
Just as I was nibbling his tongue, he pulls away and groans. I think, 'Oh, he's SO into it! SO into MEEEE!', and when I ask him why he stopped, he tells me, "I'm sorry, but your breath really smells." Shocked and dismayed, I ask if he wants me to get a mint... "No--it's too much. I don't wanna do this anymore."
:|
So I feel HORRIBLE and humiliated, burying my face into the pillow. Some conversation started up about how if he was attracted to me, and I asked something like, "don't you think I'm hot?" (*snorts derisively*) and he basically said no. When I said, "I think YOU'RE hot," he said, "Oh, I'm not REALLY hot..." in a placating, condescending manner.
So now, I'm so utterly depressed and I get up from the bed to fix up the place. He had somewhere to go, with someone picking him up, so he gets dressed and stuff. I'm feeling so, so terrible, and I just want him to feel bad about what happened, so I'm ignoring him and getting a bit passive-aggressive in trying to avoid him. When his ride showed up, he just went to LEAVE. I stood there and was all, "aren't you going to say GOODBYE, at least!?" He got mad and huffy, saying, "What? I don't have a lot of time, what do you want?"
*WEEPS*!
The dream shifts space and time as most do, and he's back. I don't know why, but I'm wearing this shiny white tie, with a bunny print on the underside and this kinda felt-like decoration of a bunny at the bottom of the front of it. It was implied that it was Easter but not, like it had JUST passed. *shakes head and shrugs in confusion* Anyway, he walks in, all pissy and annoyed because he forgot his tie. I immediately think, 'I'll give him mine! He'll really appreciate me and think of me when he wears it!' so I get it all perfumy and nice. He walks into the room, still angry, and I offer it to him.
This pisses him off even MORE. "Oh GREAT, yea right!" he almost bellowed. I mean, it totally didn't match his outfit and it WAS a pretty stupid fucking tie, lol, but STILL! He got MAD at me, like I'd been a JERK in offering it. I then started crying, all lower-lip-shaking and yell back, "You don't have to be so mean to me!" He started mumbling and shrugging and grumbling.
At this point, I was all, 'so he's hot, so he's my fave movie star--FUCK THIS!' I start slicing up a pumpkin pie (NO! I don't KNOW what it was doing in this dream!), and I tell him to go ahead and leave. "And we're done," I told him, basically breaking up. He went quiet a moment then said, "Well, I was going to stay with you forever, but if that's what you want, okay."
I IMMEDIATELY want to take it back and say 'okay, well, let's work on us, baby', but I stood my ground. Like I'd thought, he's Josh and OH so hot and stuff, but he was SO FUCKING MEAN!! Honestly, wtf?!
When I woke up, I told my husband, "I had a nightmare." He was all, "Oh no! What happened?" So I explained away, and Pan got so sympathetic, saying, "Omg, that's terrible! Honey!" then explained that it probably had something to do with my period. I DO get insecure and down on myself at times, and ESPECIALLY when I'm a ragtime-gal.
Then we had a chuckle over "what if"s, involving Josh coming across *this entry* (I told Pan I was gonna make this post, lol), and him thinking, "Omg... that's terrible! Even if she HAD bad breath, I wouldn't be such a dick about it!" So... Josh? If you ever DO read this, no, I don't think you're a jerk. But you WERE, dream-wise, so be careful. I really do NOT wanna fall outta love with you.
*sigh* Why couldn't it have been him saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm seeing Elijah, I can't kiss you!" instead of ME having halitosis...?