gangway world [closed]

[isfullofennui]

Characters: isfullofennui and guns-and-coffee

Setting/Location: Cell A

Date & Time: Day Five; several hours after waking up

Warnings: None

Summary: Kurt is subject to Ianto's scrutiny for obvious reasons. He's also pretty bored.

Comments

[isfullofennui]

"Your sense of logic is a wasteland," Kurt responded immediately, finally taking the initiative to look down and attend to his thumbnail. "Because I can assure you the last thing I needed then was character building." His voice was clipped and taut and the sentiment, he thought, was obvious

[guns_and_coffee]

Ianto considered letting that be that. He had no inclination to share his own sob story, and beyond such a measure it seemed unlikely that Kurt would change his hastily formed opinion. He was far too wrapped up in that prevailing teenage belief that he was the only one who had ever suffered -- made all the worse in this case by the fact that Kurt had actually had a taste of real pain. Ianto remembered those years, remembered the bitterness and the self-imposed isolation and the touch of superiority. Perfect little sanctimonious martyr he'd been, right up until he'd met Lisa. Kurt already had his dad, at least -- or had had, before being shoved down the rabbit hole. Perhaps he wasn't quite as devoted to the wretchedness of his existence as Ianto had been. The theory was worth a shot. "I said I was told it, not that I believed it."

[isfullofennui]

Kurt glanced up as if he'd just heard something inordinately stupid and was about to laugh or get up and diva out so dramatically it would put Rachel Berry to shame, but instead he pressed the tip of the orange stick to his chin and tilted his head to the right, tongue poised between his upper and lower lip. "And what do you believe?" It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and he wasn't about to back out because he was genuinely curious, but he did feel a little stupid for asking because for all he knew it was a trap that would leave him defending himself over some derogative remark or judgment on his personal life. Sure, he wasn't the most trusting person, but the world hadn't exactly left him the best impression so he hardly thought being cautious was his fault

[guns_and_coffee]

"About suffering massive loss?" At seven or at any other age. Ianto hadn't found it got any easier. "I think it's shit." He shrugged, sort of -- just the slightest suggestion of movement in his shoulders. "What else would I think?" Things like that you didn't ever get over. You absorbed them, they became part of you, and maybe you were the better for it in the end, but that didn't make any of it worth it. What the hell kind of a belief was that? People's lives were worth more than the ability to check off the Older and Wiser experience box when examining the state of your soul. People's lives -- the right people's lives -- were worth everything.

[isfullofennui]

"Oh." That was one way to put it. The best he'd heard, really, or close to it without getting poetic. Kurt appreciated the frankness of it all, because losing someone wasn't about strength or courage or reminiscence, it was shit, and while he still didn't understand why Ianto was talking to him or even what his point was -- if he ever had a point -- at least now he was reasonably convinced that it wasn't some stunt to hurt or humiliate him