Humble Pie - Epilogue [20/20]
A/N: Well, this is the end, folks! I really hope you've enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I'd love to hear what you think =] Right, phew, I'm off to watch the Season 8 premier... Happy fangirling!
“I thought I’d find you out here.”
Castiel looks around as Dean approaches and smiles, a smile that comes more easily and more frequently these days. They’ve taken to meeting out by the lake behind Bobby’s house, and that’s where Castiel is now, standing on the quay in his tan trenchcoat that Dean dug out for him. It’s a little too large, but it smells like Dean and it smells like home, so Castiel is keeping it. He likes the way it’s old and offcast and damaged, but still has a place in their lives. It reminds him of himself. Dean thinks it’s hideous, but he puts up with it for Castiel, and that thought makes him smile again.
“You good?” Dean asks, sitting down on the edge of the quay and dangling his legs over. He leans back on his hands and squints up at Castiel’s form, still and pensive and very, very beautiful.
Castiel sighs, and Dean knows that sigh. It’s his ‘tortured hero’ sigh.
Of course, Castiel has a lot of shit to work through. Dean never knew quite how much before he started noticing the signs. Castiel never wakes up shouting from a nightmare, but the next morning he’s always subdued and skittish, and for a while he wouldn’t even look anyone in the eye after a particularly bad night. It was always a bad night until Dean announced that enough was enough and moved into Castiel’s room. He slept on the floor for the first night but now he’s moved into Castiel’s bed, and although it’s small, there’s just enough space for them both if they lie close together. And while it would be lovely to say that Castiel hasn’t had a nightmare since, it wouldn’t be true. It would be true, however, to say that the nightmares are less bad, and when they do come, Dean’s always there.
Castiel doesn’t really talk about stuff much. He’s not really the talkative type, which Dean is pretty relieved about, considering he’s not really into the touchy-feely stuff either. But he does get that they’re going to have to talk it out sometime.
He figures now is as good a time as any. “Cas. Talk to me. Sam’s always saying how talking about this sort of thing helps, and you’d be surprised how often he’s right.”
Castiel smiles down at him. “Your brother is a clever man.”
“Damn straight he is.”
After a moment, Castiel sits down beside Dean, their legs brushing up against each other slightly. They’re not really ones for public displays of affection, but Dean figures a pond in the middle of nowhere doesn’t exactly count as public, so he places a hand gently on Castiel’s shoulder, fingers tentatively stroking the base of his neck.
“Hey,” he says softly. “What’s up? You know me, I’ll listen.”
Castiel leans into his touch and looks at him, eyes brimming with affection. “Thank you. But I just don’t feel ready yet.”
“Well, that’s cool. Just tell me when you are, and I’ll be here, okay?”
“Thank you, Dean. I know you will. Maybe that’s why I love you.”
Castiel never says anything carelessly, without reason, and now his eyes are sincere as ever, which is why Dean feels his throat grow thick with emotion. Castiel has never said anything like this before. He’s never ...
“Aw, and there was me thinking it was just my good looks that you hung around for,” he says jokingly, and Castiel laughs, a sound that’s still rare enough to surprise Dean whenever it happens, as much with the feelings it evokes in him as with its actual happening. He still can’t quite believe that he manages to make Castiel laugh like this. He is so beautiful when he laughs. He looks radiant. Happy, eyes bright, carefree, the honey-colored fall sunlight on his face, drifting through his feathery hair.
Dean puts an arm around Castiel’s shoulders, holding him closer, and, as always with Castiel, there’s that brief moment of tenseness before he melts into the other man’s embrace. Dean rests his cheek against Castiel’s head and talks quietly into his ear, a private moment meant for only the two of them.
I won’t tell you what he says. That wouldn’t be right. But then, I think you already know, anyway.
They stay like that for hours, together, watching the sun come down.
Yeah, they’ve got issues. Of course they do. But for now, Dean’s perfectly happy to just enjoy this moment and revel in the amazing feeling of being loved by a wonderful man, a man he almost certainly doesn’t deserve, but who he loves and who loves him all the same.
Tomorrow, there may be problems. In fact, let ’em come. But for tonight at least, everything is just fine, and for the first time in as long as either of them can remember, they are truly content.
THE END
“I thought I’d find you out here.”
Castiel looks around as Dean approaches and smiles, a smile that comes more easily and more frequently these days. They’ve taken to meeting out by the lake behind Bobby’s house, and that’s where Castiel is now, standing on the quay in his tan trenchcoat that Dean dug out for him. It’s a little too large, but it smells like Dean and it smells like home, so Castiel is keeping it. He likes the way it’s old and offcast and damaged, but still has a place in their lives. It reminds him of himself. Dean thinks it’s hideous, but he puts up with it for Castiel, and that thought makes him smile again.
“You good?” Dean asks, sitting down on the edge of the quay and dangling his legs over. He leans back on his hands and squints up at Castiel’s form, still and pensive and very, very beautiful.
Castiel sighs, and Dean knows that sigh. It’s his ‘tortured hero’ sigh.
Of course, Castiel has a lot of shit to work through. Dean never knew quite how much before he started noticing the signs. Castiel never wakes up shouting from a nightmare, but the next morning he’s always subdued and skittish, and for a while he wouldn’t even look anyone in the eye after a particularly bad night. It was always a bad night until Dean announced that enough was enough and moved into Castiel’s room. He slept on the floor for the first night but now he’s moved into Castiel’s bed, and although it’s small, there’s just enough space for them both if they lie close together. And while it would be lovely to say that Castiel hasn’t had a nightmare since, it wouldn’t be true. It would be true, however, to say that the nightmares are less bad, and when they do come, Dean’s always there.
Castiel doesn’t really talk about stuff much. He’s not really the talkative type, which Dean is pretty relieved about, considering he’s not really into the touchy-feely stuff either. But he does get that they’re going to have to talk it out sometime.
He figures now is as good a time as any. “Cas. Talk to me. Sam’s always saying how talking about this sort of thing helps, and you’d be surprised how often he’s right.”
Castiel smiles down at him. “Your brother is a clever man.”
“Damn straight he is.”
After a moment, Castiel sits down beside Dean, their legs brushing up against each other slightly. They’re not really ones for public displays of affection, but Dean figures a pond in the middle of nowhere doesn’t exactly count as public, so he places a hand gently on Castiel’s shoulder, fingers tentatively stroking the base of his neck.
“Hey,” he says softly. “What’s up? You know me, I’ll listen.”
Castiel leans into his touch and looks at him, eyes brimming with affection. “Thank you. But I just don’t feel ready yet.”
“Well, that’s cool. Just tell me when you are, and I’ll be here, okay?”
“Thank you, Dean. I know you will. Maybe that’s why I love you.”
Castiel never says anything carelessly, without reason, and now his eyes are sincere as ever, which is why Dean feels his throat grow thick with emotion. Castiel has never said anything like this before. He’s never ...
“Aw, and there was me thinking it was just my good looks that you hung around for,” he says jokingly, and Castiel laughs, a sound that’s still rare enough to surprise Dean whenever it happens, as much with the feelings it evokes in him as with its actual happening. He still can’t quite believe that he manages to make Castiel laugh like this. He is so beautiful when he laughs. He looks radiant. Happy, eyes bright, carefree, the honey-colored fall sunlight on his face, drifting through his feathery hair.
Dean puts an arm around Castiel’s shoulders, holding him closer, and, as always with Castiel, there’s that brief moment of tenseness before he melts into the other man’s embrace. Dean rests his cheek against Castiel’s head and talks quietly into his ear, a private moment meant for only the two of them.
I won’t tell you what he says. That wouldn’t be right. But then, I think you already know, anyway.
They stay like that for hours, together, watching the sun come down.
Yeah, they’ve got issues. Of course they do. But for now, Dean’s perfectly happy to just enjoy this moment and revel in the amazing feeling of being loved by a wonderful man, a man he almost certainly doesn’t deserve, but who he loves and who loves him all the same.
Tomorrow, there may be problems. In fact, let ’em come. But for tonight at least, everything is just fine, and for the first time in as long as either of them can remember, they are truly content.
THE END