blah blah dram ma ma

[holy_cats]

Last night was a tough one for me

Comments

[cherany]

You're not overreacting. That guy does not deserve you, and I think the more people who talk, the better. Every time I hear a story about a man beating his wife to death in Florida, I check to see if it's you. Pretending everything is great in your relationship is a joke. I'm blunt, and I'm mean, and I'm all the other things a good friend should be, too, except able to get you out of that mess. I'm not sorry for hating that guy and not sorry for telling you over and over that staying with him is a tragedy waiting to happen. He has a problem bigger than you can help him with. Until he decides to get treatment for his alcoholism, he is a danger to you and your children, and you know it. You deny it, but what you say and what you feel deep down are not the same, evident by the things you say when you give us raw glimpses into your world and admit your true feelings. Even then, I know you're pretty'ing it up

[holy_cats]

I don't really think Johnny is an alcoholic anymore. Well, I mean, you're an alcoholic your whole life, just always in a state of recovery... but you know what I mean. I know you think I'm just covering for his sorry ass on this point but honestly the problems we have now are not really related to drinking. I misrepresent him a lot when I am angry, and also since I have limited exposure to other adults, and he is basically my only adult contact most of the time, I have plenty of time to over analyze and concoct all kinds of stories in my head. I mean, he's just a dude. Not that complicated. I'm always adding meaning to things that just don't have extra meaning

[cherany]

I don't believe for one second that he's never hit you, but I'll take your word that it hasn't happened lately, since the drinking is more under control than it has been in the past. However, even him lying about where he was & making an ass of you with the phone call at the bar, that is not just him, "being a dude." That is him being a douche.

I have friends with shitty bfs/husbands, and I have friends with amazing guys. The latter group, that is what I want for all of my friends. I stop worrying when I know a friend is with a guy who treasures her. Lying to you, making a fool of you, disrespecting you... none of that shit is small, and none of it is acceptable to me. I hate that it's acceptable to you, just because you're, "not perfect, either." I never thought you were; no one is. That doesn't mean you deserve a guy who doesn't respect you.

[holy_cats]

I agree with everything you've said here