AS/S Crackfic: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Title: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Scorpius/Various Potters
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Outraged after a tell-all book defames his family, Scorpius decides to have his revenge by seducing every member of Harry Potter's immediate family -- including Harry himself, and his wife -- and writing a tell-all of his own. Things go swimmingly at first but rather off the rails toward the end.
Warnings: Crack! Also kind of dark in places??
Notes: This crackfic was written as a birthday gift for abusing_sarcasm, and the title is stolen from Dave Eggers. Thanks so much to chlorate for the beta read!
Albus was by far the easiest. Scorpius began working on him immediately after he formulated his brilliant idea. He would fuck all of the Potters and then write a book called Fucking the Potters which would outsell even the lurid My Sexual Adventures With the Death Eaters that was getting so much attention in the press and in wizarding culture in general. The book included passages about both of Scorpius' grandparents, and everyone was constantly taking the piss at school, as if he'd been the one sucking Voldemort's cock and spanking Severus Snape, but he would certainly have the last laugh after he'd conquered the entire Potter family and described every intimate detail -- endearments, positions, spunk flavor! -- in a blockbuster nonfiction account that would break every publishing record in the wizarding world. A passage about Harry Potter's cock size alone would secure an advance of one million galleons.
But before he could trouble himself with the sizable task of seducing Harry Potter, he set his sights on the weakest member of the herd: Albus, dull middle son and known pouf. The availability of Albus had played a large role in the formulation of Scorpius' plan. He was always smiling at Scorpius from the pitiful Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall as if they were friends, though Scorpius had only ever spoken to him once, out of desperation, when he ran out of ink in Potions.
All he had to do was again deign to speak to Albus and the idiot was in love. Scorpius spent time with him between classes and at dinner, waiting anxiously for the arrival of Albus' sixteenth birthday so that he could join Scorpius in adulthood, at least for sexual consent purposes (sex, being less complex than Apparition, was legal a year earlier). Scorpius wasn't sure if Albus' parents had put Chastity Enchantments on their children, but Scorpius' certainly had, and the last thing he needed was the whole thing going up in smoke when Albus' skin turned bright purple after Scorpius ravished him before he was of legal age.
Albus, in the meantime, was insufferable. Apparently shameless, he was constantly reaching for Scorpius' hand in public and gazing at him longingly in class with all the subtlety of a bludger to the head. Scorpius had to pretend to be terrified of exposure as a homosexual just to avoid the embarrassment of being considered the sexual partner of a Hufflepuff.
"Please don't tell anyone," Scorpius whispered during one of he and Albus' secret meetings in the garden near the Herbology classroom. He was sitting with his back to an ivy-covered wall, Albus in his lap and curled against his chest, practically purring. All Scorpius had to do was stroke Albus' hair, ear, the back of his neck -- stroke anything, really -- and the fool was blubbering about how they would live together after school.
"It's just that my father would be so furious if he ever found out," Scorpius said, which was probably true enough, though Draco would more object to the 'Hufflepuff' and 'Potter' parts of the equation than the fact that Albus was a boy. "He'd send me away."
Albus looked up into Scorpius' eyes as if he couldn't imagine anything worse. Scorpius did his best to look sincerely forlorn, and Albus kissed him softly. He was actually not a bad kisser, but only because he'd learned everything he knew from Scorpius, who was masterful.
"How awful," Albus said, speaking into Scorpius' mouth. His breath was a bit garlicky from dinner and Scorpius struggled not to wince or suggest a Freshening Charm. "But maybe he'd change his mind if he knew the truth? He loves you, doesn't he?"
"Hell, I don't know," Scorpius said, breaking character for a moment. His father had always been like a ghost who lived in the attic of the family home; sometimes he came down for supper, but he was hardly available for public appearances and turned invisible when he wanted to.
"I'm sure he does," Albus said. He kissed Scorpius' jaw lightly. "Someone must have taught you to be -- well, that is -- so -- wonderful."
"That would be my mother," Scorpius said. She did teach him everything he knew about the art of manipulation, and quite a bit about grooming, which was an undervalued component of tricking people into doing your bidding.
Albus promised to keep their relationship secret, which would of course be essential. If the other Potters found out that Scorpius had been with Albus, at least one or two of them would find themselves too noble to dally with Scorpius in the aftermath.
Impatient to get the first part of his conquest over with, Scorpius was incredibly relieved when Albus' sixteenth birthday fell on the evening of an important Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Everyone would be there, even the most unathletic students in Scorpius' house. He brought Albus up to his bedroom and undressed him with haste, glad also for the legitimate excuse to hurry things along.
Albus wept, naturally. He held onto Scorpius' shoulders so tightly that Scorpius could barely get three good thrusts in before he came. He took a moment to steady himself, Albus shuddering underneath him as if he was still rolling through the last stages of his own orgasm, which had left Scorpius' chest and even neck uncomfortably sticky. He rested his head on Albus' shoulder and thought about the notes that he would compose when he'd disposed of Albus. The middle Potter son was an eager bottom, and he'd pumped come like a fountain when fucked, unlike anything Scorpius had ever seen. There was something crass about coming so hard and so much, but Scorpius would withhold that editorial remark. He wanted his book to be clean and almost scientific so that he did not come off seeming bitter and cold.
"I love you," Albus whispered, and Scorpius realized that he'd been lying still for much too long.
James took some doing: a bit of research and a lot of alcohol. There was also the troublesome issue of Albus, who refused to take Scorpius' rejection of him like a gentleman and followed him around everywhere, crying and demanding to know what had happened. Scorpius told him again and again that he'd simply decided the relationship was detracting far too much from his studies -- it was a reliable Ravenclaw defense, as standard as I need space in Scorpius' circle -- but Albus seemed to have the memory of a goldfish and would seek Scorpius out the next day with the same question, until Scorpius finally had to call him a boring prat so that Albus would leave him alone. Scorpius prayed that none of this would ever get back to the rest of the Potter family, or his chances of bedding them would become slim indeed.
It was already rather tricky getting James anywhere near his arsehole; James was quite definitely straight. But if Scorpius knew anything about boarding school chaps it was that they would reliably shag the shit out of each other if it was convenient enough, and he planned his approach carefully. It was toward the end of May, after the last Quidditch match of the year. James was a Beater for Gryffindor and he went out afterward with his usual group to sneak drinks at The Gryffon's Beak, a shabby pub that was known for serving minors under the table. Scorpius waited until James had thrown back four pints before buying him a double firewhiskey.
"What're you doin' here?" James asked when Scorpius finally got him alone. James was not quite as good looking as Albus, at least to Scorpius' taste; his face was a bit fat and brutish. He was nothing like his simpering twat of a brother, but he had his own faults, such as being a complete moron, in what Scorpius understood from his mother to be the Weasley family tradition. James was really more a Weasley than a Potter, more so than Ginny, even, but Scorpius needed to cross him off his list, and so when James asked why he was in the pub, Scorpius smiled and sat down beside him.
"I like Quidditch," he said, the words tasting like gillyweed oil on his tongue. "I'm a fan."
"Aren't you in Ravenclaw?" James squinted as if Scorpius were very far away, though he was actually quite close.
"Yes, but their team's shit. I prefer yours."
James laughed as if he expected as much and took another drink from his pint. It took very little conversation after that; Scorpius simply leaned over to whisper in James' ear that he'd heard from several of his ex-girlfriends that he liked to give a good spanking, and while Scorpius understood that James was not queer, he would not be opposed to James giving him a spectacular arse-reddening.
"It looks quite like a girl's," Scorpius said as James stared at him, dumbfounded. "And I'd be completely up for it, which, I understand, your ex-girlfriends were not, necessarily."
"Why the hell are you going around asking girls what gets me off?" James asked. The fact that he hadn't punched Scorpius and stormed away from the table was already a victory. His cheeks were bright red.
"Because I want you to do things to me," Scorpius said. "I've been naughty," he added, struggling not to laugh. Irena Beck had told him that James had once specifically requested this kind of childish dirty talk. Scorpius had been wary about asking the girls who had dated James to tell him hilarious stories about James -- his excuse was that he was pulling a prank on him and wanted to make James look like a complete arse -- but apparently James had cheated on many of them, which was fortunate. They all behaved as if they'd been waiting for someone to give them the excuse to defame him.
"If you ever tell anyone I'll take your head off with my bare hands," James said as he and Scorpius undressed in the upstairs attic of The Gryffon's Beak, amid old cauldrons and stacked chairs.
"I'm sure you will," Scorpius said, bending over and exposing his bare arse to do away with any remaining hesitation.
The experience with James was an exercise in stifling laughter. Even as Scorpius' arse stung horribly, he had to chew his tongue to keep from breaking into hysterics over the ridiculous things that James found sexy. He asked Scorpius if he'd been bad, if he was a bad boy (twice he said 'girl'), if he liked being punished and on and on and so forth. Scorpius had to envision receiving a blowjob from Albus just to stay hard, until James finally gave in to whatever he'd been trying to express via spanking, tore his trousers down and fucked Scorpius until they were both screaming loud enough to nearly shatter the Silencing Charm Scorpius had cast.
When they were done James stumbled away as if he weren't sure where he was. Scorpius was grateful for the lack of aftermath; he stopped by the potions shop on the way back to the castle to pick up an All-Purpose Healing Tonic and a pack of crisps. Back in his room, Healing Tonic applied, he happily made his notes: Large cock (21.6 centimetres approx.), ridiculously hairy balls, grunts frequently, obsession with spanking likely resulting from a fascination with the arse generally (perhaps regardless of gender of the possessor), sweaty hands, belched twice, come smelt oddly of lemongrass.
He flipped back to his notes about Albus. There weren't many, and he wasn't sure why, as he'd been with Albus for quite a time and did a number of things with him beyond the actual consummation. He made a mental note to work on that section of the book a bit more and put his quill and tablet away, thoroughly exhausted.
Lily wasn't exactly a challenge. Scorpius had already anticipated her section of the book being rather tedious, but it was necessary. They dated for several weeks during Scorpius' seventh year as he waited for her sixteenth birthday to arrive. He tried to get her to keep their relationship a secret, offering up some nonsense about his parents having forbidden him to ever date a Potter or Weasley, but she was a bit of a braggart and word got around. It was irritating but not disastrous; Scorpius would simply have to break things off more gradually with her, perhaps at the end of the school year, so that she wouldn't go sobbing home to Mum and Dad and ruin Scorpius' chances of shagging them.
The only real problem was Albus. He cornered Scorpius near the Potions dungeon one afternoon and nearly knocked the supplies Scorpius was carrying out of his hands as he pushed him back against the stone wall. He looked as if he were prepared to do murder, which was actually rather an improvement over his usual wounded, maudlin expression.
"Stay away from my sister," Albus growled. Scorpius smiled.
"Jealous?" he asked, unable to resist prodding him. Albus grabbed him by the neck and seemed to want to choke him, but his hand just trembled there, his fingers barely pinching against Scorpius' pulse.
"I mean it, damn you," Albus said. "If you hurt her, I'll, I'll --"
"You'll what? Kill me? Believe it or not, I like your sister enough to risk it."
"But, but --"
"But I was with you? And you happen to be male? Yes, well, I was young and confused. Anyway, I haven't promised her marriage -- and I hardly promised that to you, by the way -- so please respect your sister enough to make her own decisions."
Albus stood there looking as if he'd had a lot more to say but it had all suddenly become moot. His hand slipped slowly off of Scorpius' neck, banging clumsily against his chest on the way down.
"Don't you ever feel guilty about what you did to me?" Albus whispered. He looked down at the floor after he'd spoken; that was probably the last thing he'd meant to say. Scorpius sighed in disbelief. Who on earth was this clumsy with his feelings, as if anyone else cared enough to hear them at all?
"We were sixteen," Scorpius said. "You think you're the only one at school who feels he's been dumped unfairly?"
"But it was after -- after --"
"Have you ever considered that my distaste for that particular act upon finally trying it was what convinced me that I wasn't interested in men after all?"
Albus walked away with his shoulders sloped and his eyes downcast like the perfect cartoon image of defeat. Scorpius moaned, glad to be rid of him.
The consummation with Lily happened two days after her sixteenth birthday in a lovely glen by the lake. It was so dull that Scorpius nearly fell asleep, and female anatomy continued to feel like an irrelevant phenomenon that he was never meant to examine closely. She seemed to be a bit unimpressed with the experience herself, but Scorpius would leave that part out of the book. He made his notes later that evening, and found himself struggling to even remember the details: Freckled breasts are somewhat endearing, didn't seem to be in pain so possibly not a virgin, preferred to be on top.
Breaking up with Lily proved to be rather easy; she initiated the split herself a week before school ended.
"It's just that I've got exams," she said, clearly embarrassed on Scorpius' behalf and having a hard time looking him in the eye. "And you're leaving soon anyway."
"I quite understand," Scorpius said. He gave her a hug and walked away, trying to resist the urge to rip all of the curtains in the hallway down and shred them to pieces with his teeth. The nerve of that pointless bloody girl. He would have his revenge when he wrote his book, and even more so when he triumphantly slept with her parents.
Harry was a trial and an obsession, the real thrust of the book's whole premise. Scorpius had to become an Auror in order to even have the chance to meet him, a profession he hated but excelled in simply because he had to. Without doing well he would never have gained the attention of Harry Potter, who made a few wistful comments about Scorpius' father that increased Scorpius' hope of someday getting closer to Harry.
"I thought Father and Harry Potter hated each other," Scorpius said to his mother when he was home for dinner one weekend. His father was elsewhere in the Manor, as usual.
"Oh, your father hated him, you can be certain of that," his mother said. "But he actually had a theory that Harry Potter had some sort of repressed sexual fascination with him. I thought your father was out of his mind until I attended a charity function and Potter asked after your father's health and then asked a second time after several strong drinks."
"Excellent," Scorpius blurted without thinking. "I mean, how interesting."
Astoria rolled her eyes as if she didn't even have the energy to inquire.
Armed with this information, Scorpius began his seduction full-force. He was assigned to Harry's team on a mission to Quebec to locate an enchanted oil lamp that some Muggles had gotten hold of thinking it contained a genie when it was in fact designed to curse anyone who touched it. It was the dead of winter, and finding the lamp required journeying into deep woods where they set up tents for rest during the night. There were four Aurors along on the journey, and as the two of them who were not Harry and Scorpius were married to each other, they shared a tent while Harry and Scorpius took the other. Scorpius knew he would not be presented with such a serendipitous chance again, and he dropped careful hints as the mission progressed, sitting close to Harry at the fire, gently tending to Harry's hand after a Spiked Earflower bit him, and talking with him quietly when they were together inside the warm darkness of the tent.
"Are you ever frightened?" Scorpius asked one night when he felt the tension between them had reached its peak. The night before, he'd faked a nightmare and clung to Harry, shaking and crying as Harry shushed and comforted him. Earlier that day, he'd reached for a bottle of Pepper-Up Potion in their supply kit at the same moment Harry had, and when their fingers touched Harry blushed. Scorpius had meant to hold Harry's gaze long enough to make his mouth water, but the blush had reminded him so much of that silly twat Albus that he'd looked away unintentionally.
"It just seems as if you'd never be frightened of anything," Scorpius said. "After everything you've faced."
"That's a common misconception," Harry said. His voice was low and a bit throatier than usual. Scorpius scooted even closer; he could feel the warmth of Harry's body already. It was completely dark inside the tent, the moon hidden behind thick clouds. Harry didn't move away, and Scorpius could hear the quick pace of his breath.
"But what could possibly scare you?" Scorpius asked.
"Myself," Harry said quietly.
"What on earth do you mean?" Scorpius reached over to softly place a hand on Harry's face. He had a bit of stubble growing, just barely, a sandpaper texture. Harry was incredibly handsome but Scorpius was glad for the darkness, so that he wouldn't be reminded of Albus again.
"Please," Harry said. He reached up and took Scorpius' hand as if he'd planned to remove it, but then he only held it.
"You can call me Draco," Scorpius whispered, a risk. Harry made a sound that was difficult to interpret and pulled away, but when he returned he was undressed and kissing Scorpius wildly.
He didn't actually call Scorpius Draco -- Harry Potter was above such indulgences, presumably -- but he held Scorpius as if he were looking for something already familiar in his body. Scorpius enjoyed himself; Harry was a good lover simply by virtue of who he was. It was fantastic to contemplate having the man who'd saved world inside of him, but Scorpius wasn't able to stop thinking enough to give himself completely over to the experience. Of course, that wasn't really the point. He took mental notes. Harry cried afterward, differently than Albus had. The next morning he spoke softly to Scorpius when they were alone together on a cliff that overlooked a snow-covered valley, said he was going home early, and what happened the night before had been a lovely release but could never happen again.
"I understand," Scorpius said, trying to seem innocent and selfless. Harry kissed his forehead and Apparated away.
Scorpius tried to use his nights alone in the tent to compose his notes on the experience, but as he had with Albus, he found it extremely difficult to write about sex with Harry. And like a fool he had forgotten to cast Lumos so that he could make a clear judgment about Harry's cock size. He would have to go on feeling alone, which was really quite sloppy.
He was in a bit of an odd mood about the whole project by the time he returned to London. He had a week off of work following the mission, and he used the time to consider the greatest challenge of all: Ginny Potter, the crown jewel. Anyone could bed the other four if they tried hard enough, but Ginny was a loyal wife and mother, a consummate professional in her career as a Quidditch analyst, and a war hero herself. Still, she was a woman who had needs, and if being fucked by Harry had taught Scorpius anything, it was that Harry and Ginny's marriage was hardly ideal.
Unfortunately, there was only one way he'd have any hope of getting close to Ginny. He could hardly quit his Auror position and suddenly take up Quidditch or Quidditch analysis or anything to do with Quidditch, really; even selling Cauldron Cakes at the London stadium would require far too much tolerance of Quidditch. He would have to take a different tack in order to make Ginny's acquaintance.
"What do you want?" Albus asked when Scorpius found him on the fifth floor of the Ministry, making an inventory of prophecies as he worked his way through the towering shelves. It was the sort of intellectually deadening work that Hufflepuffs always seemed to fall to, whoever their parents were.
"Nothing," Scorpius said, pretending to be sheepish. It actually was making him quite uncomfortable, the thought that he suddenly needed something from Albus of all people.
"Well, if it's nothing you want, I offer it freely," Albus said, still scribbling on his roll of parchment, which was dragging on the floor.
"Alright." Scorpius sighed as if he were overwhelmed by humility. "I've been thinking about you."
"Have you?" Albus' attempt to sound disinterested was completely transparent, of course.
"Yes. Quite a bit. I was struggling so much with my, er, sexuality when we were together and when I treated you so horribly. It's just that my parents are so against it, and I didn't want to turn into something they'd hate. Can't you understand that? Didn't you ever wish you could just be normal?"
"I didn't care so much about being normal as long as I got to be with you," Albus said. He had a terrifying talent for humiliating himself. "Back then," he muttered. He finally looked up at Scorpius, who hadn't really had a chance to contemplate his first lover's face since they had left Hogwarts. Albus was still a bit soft-cheeked and his eyes were bright but sad. In adulthood it seemed less pathetic and more uniquely pretty.
"Oh, Albus," Scorpius said softly. "You were always so much smarter than me where it counted."
Again, Albus was easy. They went back to his flat together that night and Scorpius tore Albus' clothes off as soon as the door was shut, as if he'd been waiting a long time to have him again. There was something oddly pleasant about it. Albus was still a good kisser -- better, even -- and because Scorpius had already ticked him off of his list of Potters he didn't have to worry about making notes or keeping his head enough to observe things carefully. He let himself go completely thoughtless as he pulled Albus' legs apart to lick and suck and enter him, experiencing Albus' moans not as curious components of a Potter's ecstasy but simply as background noise that made Scorpius' cock twitch like Albus was playing its song.
Soon enough Scorpius was sleeping in Albus' bed every night, allowing Albus to crowd him with sweaty skin and hot breath. He made Albus promise again not to reveal their relationship to anyone, and Albus tried to talk to Scorpius about his "issues," but Scorpius wouldn't budge. He couldn't have Ginny knowing that he was dating her son. He was so close to the finish line, but without Ginny the book would just make him seem like an obsessive slag. With an account about sleeping with her, he would be lauded as a true genius.
He was always careful to go round to Albus' house when he knew Harry was out of the country on Auror missions. Harry and Scorpius never partnered on missions after their night together in the tent, and it worked out wonderfully for Scorpius, who could enjoy home-cooked meals with Ginny as Albus' "good friend." Most nights he tried to drink a bit too much so he'd have an excuse to stay over. He always planned to get up in the middle of the night and sneak down to the kitchen to find Ginny lonely and sipping wine, but Albus was so insatiable and Scorpius was so accustomed to having a go with him before sleep that every time he stayed over at the Potter household he would waste the opportunity by sleeping through the entire night with Albus pressed to him, all plans to seduce the lady of the house foiled.
Finally, on a sunny spring morning after he'd spent the night over at the Potters' and fucked Albus into the mattress of his childhood bed, he willed himself to get up early when he heard the sounds of Ginny stirring downstairs. Albus was still fast asleep, and Scorpius disentangled himself carefully, hating the sting of the chilly air outside of the bed. He showered and dressed to make himself presentable, and cast one last look at Albus before leaving the room, just to make sure he was still sleeping. He was, rosy-cheeked and curled around a pillow. Scorpius felt for a moment like he would be sick, as if something had floated into him and come out through his chest like a ghost, but as far as he knew the Potter household was not haunted. He wrote it off as nerves about being so close to completing his life's work and left the room with determination.
Ginny was in the kitchen making herself a parfait for breakfast. She turned and smiled when Scorpius entered the kitchen. She was wearing a dignified silk robe and had her light red hair tied up in a sloppy bun on top of her head. She was certainly a lovely woman. Scorpius had never wanted anything less than to kiss her, but he had a job to finish.
"You're up early," Ginny said. "Would you like me to make you some breakfast?"
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of imposing!" Scorpius said. "I can get my own breakfast, but thank you very much."
"That's quite a change from the tune the others are usually singing around here," Ginny said. "When they're actually around, that is."
"Harry travels so often," Scorpius said. He stood beside Ginny at the counter to select a strawberry from the pile of them that she'd dumped into a large bowl.
"Yes," she said. "With the children grown, the big house can get quite lonely. I travel often enough for my own work that I don't mind the quiet once in awhile, though."
"It's almost as if you and Harry have separate lives," Scorpius said, a bit gracelessly perhaps. Ginny looked up at him and stopped just short of frowning.
"Forgive me," Scorpius gushed. "That was presumptuous."
"A bit." Ginny smiled. "But it's true. Not everyone can understand that about us. We're both very independent people, always have been."
"So you don't ever want . . . " Scorpius paused and placed a hand lightly on Ginny's shoulder. She didn't flinch. "Some company?" he asked, keeping his voice low as he took a step closer. She smiled.
"Oh, dear," she said. She patted Scorpius' cheek in a decidedly unsexy way. "How sweet. But I'm sorry, I don't really fancy younger men."
She stepped away and fished around in a cupboard until she came up with a canister of sugar. Scorpius stood frozen by the strawberries, in shock, and also incredibly relieved. He smiled shakily, not sure what was happening.
"Sorry," he said, hating the weak sound of his own voice.
"Don't apologize," Ginny said. "I'm flattered, really. Would you like a cup of tea?"
"No, thank you. I think I'll go see if Albus is awake."
Scorpius walked toward the stairs. He considered the fact that Ginny had her back to him; he could easily Apparate away, clearly done with the Potter household and the Potters generally. Ginny would never change her mind; he had seen it all over her face. He'd failed. He went up the stairs and back into Albus' room without really thinking about it. He was completely consumed by a sense of wishing he knew what to think.
"There you are," Albus said when Scorpius shut the door behind him. Albus was still puffy-eyed and stretched out in bed, his hair a mess. "Where'd you go?" he asked.
"Nowhere," Scorpius said. "Just downstairs to have something to eat."
Albus did something then that should have sent Scorpius running. He held his arms out like Scorpius was a child who would be thrilled with the idea of bouncing into them, an infant who wanted nothing more. It was the perfect time to groan with exasperation and Apparate away. Scorpius could get on with his life and never look back at his stupid teenage plan for revenge on the world that had gone much too far. But he just kept standing still and staring as Albus' arms began to tremble a little from the effort of being held out for him.
When he climbed onto the bed and slumped down against Albus' chest, Albus wrapped him up tightly and kissed the crown of his head. Scorpius was tense for just a moment, and then he sank into Albus, who had come to feel and smell so familiar. Albus stroked Scorpius' hair, his ear, his neck. Scorpius tried to resist the urge to cling to him, but he couldn't. He clung like he would die if he didn't.
"What's wrong?" Albus asked. "You're shaking."
"Nothing," Scorpius said. He pressed his face to Albus' neck, which was still a bit damp from sleep. "I think I did all of this because of you," he whispered, hoping he could say it out loud without Albus really hearing.
"All of what?" Albus asked.
"Every mistake. Just, everything."
"Oh, well." Albus rolled onto his side and clamped a leg around Scorpius' waist possessively. "What does it matter now? We've ended up together in the end, haven't we?"
Scorpius shut his eyes and tried to duck the question, but the answer leapt out of him without his consent.
"Yes," he said. "We have."
Which was maybe, oddly, and somewhat annoyingly, the point all along. Scorpius smiled and tucked himself in closer to Albus, who hummed happily and rubbed against him like the sweet and eager fool he was. But he was Scorpius' fool, and that meant that Scorpius had won something back from the Potters and the world at large, hadn't he? Maybe not the familial dignity or last laugh he'd hoped for, but this was something. This was something very good after all.
*
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Scorpius/Various Potters
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Outraged after a tell-all book defames his family, Scorpius decides to have his revenge by seducing every member of Harry Potter's immediate family -- including Harry himself, and his wife -- and writing a tell-all of his own. Things go swimmingly at first but rather off the rails toward the end.
Warnings: Crack! Also kind of dark in places??
Notes: This crackfic was written as a birthday gift for abusing_sarcasm, and the title is stolen from Dave Eggers. Thanks so much to chlorate for the beta read!
Albus was by far the easiest. Scorpius began working on him immediately after he formulated his brilliant idea. He would fuck all of the Potters and then write a book called Fucking the Potters which would outsell even the lurid My Sexual Adventures With the Death Eaters that was getting so much attention in the press and in wizarding culture in general. The book included passages about both of Scorpius' grandparents, and everyone was constantly taking the piss at school, as if he'd been the one sucking Voldemort's cock and spanking Severus Snape, but he would certainly have the last laugh after he'd conquered the entire Potter family and described every intimate detail -- endearments, positions, spunk flavor! -- in a blockbuster nonfiction account that would break every publishing record in the wizarding world. A passage about Harry Potter's cock size alone would secure an advance of one million galleons.
But before he could trouble himself with the sizable task of seducing Harry Potter, he set his sights on the weakest member of the herd: Albus, dull middle son and known pouf. The availability of Albus had played a large role in the formulation of Scorpius' plan. He was always smiling at Scorpius from the pitiful Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall as if they were friends, though Scorpius had only ever spoken to him once, out of desperation, when he ran out of ink in Potions.
All he had to do was again deign to speak to Albus and the idiot was in love. Scorpius spent time with him between classes and at dinner, waiting anxiously for the arrival of Albus' sixteenth birthday so that he could join Scorpius in adulthood, at least for sexual consent purposes (sex, being less complex than Apparition, was legal a year earlier). Scorpius wasn't sure if Albus' parents had put Chastity Enchantments on their children, but Scorpius' certainly had, and the last thing he needed was the whole thing going up in smoke when Albus' skin turned bright purple after Scorpius ravished him before he was of legal age.
Albus, in the meantime, was insufferable. Apparently shameless, he was constantly reaching for Scorpius' hand in public and gazing at him longingly in class with all the subtlety of a bludger to the head. Scorpius had to pretend to be terrified of exposure as a homosexual just to avoid the embarrassment of being considered the sexual partner of a Hufflepuff.
"Please don't tell anyone," Scorpius whispered during one of he and Albus' secret meetings in the garden near the Herbology classroom. He was sitting with his back to an ivy-covered wall, Albus in his lap and curled against his chest, practically purring. All Scorpius had to do was stroke Albus' hair, ear, the back of his neck -- stroke anything, really -- and the fool was blubbering about how they would live together after school.
"It's just that my father would be so furious if he ever found out," Scorpius said, which was probably true enough, though Draco would more object to the 'Hufflepuff' and 'Potter' parts of the equation than the fact that Albus was a boy. "He'd send me away."
Albus looked up into Scorpius' eyes as if he couldn't imagine anything worse. Scorpius did his best to look sincerely forlorn, and Albus kissed him softly. He was actually not a bad kisser, but only because he'd learned everything he knew from Scorpius, who was masterful.
"How awful," Albus said, speaking into Scorpius' mouth. His breath was a bit garlicky from dinner and Scorpius struggled not to wince or suggest a Freshening Charm. "But maybe he'd change his mind if he knew the truth? He loves you, doesn't he?"
"Hell, I don't know," Scorpius said, breaking character for a moment. His father had always been like a ghost who lived in the attic of the family home; sometimes he came down for supper, but he was hardly available for public appearances and turned invisible when he wanted to.
"I'm sure he does," Albus said. He kissed Scorpius' jaw lightly. "Someone must have taught you to be -- well, that is -- so -- wonderful."
"That would be my mother," Scorpius said. She did teach him everything he knew about the art of manipulation, and quite a bit about grooming, which was an undervalued component of tricking people into doing your bidding.
Albus promised to keep their relationship secret, which would of course be essential. If the other Potters found out that Scorpius had been with Albus, at least one or two of them would find themselves too noble to dally with Scorpius in the aftermath.
Impatient to get the first part of his conquest over with, Scorpius was incredibly relieved when Albus' sixteenth birthday fell on the evening of an important Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Everyone would be there, even the most unathletic students in Scorpius' house. He brought Albus up to his bedroom and undressed him with haste, glad also for the legitimate excuse to hurry things along.
Albus wept, naturally. He held onto Scorpius' shoulders so tightly that Scorpius could barely get three good thrusts in before he came. He took a moment to steady himself, Albus shuddering underneath him as if he was still rolling through the last stages of his own orgasm, which had left Scorpius' chest and even neck uncomfortably sticky. He rested his head on Albus' shoulder and thought about the notes that he would compose when he'd disposed of Albus. The middle Potter son was an eager bottom, and he'd pumped come like a fountain when fucked, unlike anything Scorpius had ever seen. There was something crass about coming so hard and so much, but Scorpius would withhold that editorial remark. He wanted his book to be clean and almost scientific so that he did not come off seeming bitter and cold.
"I love you," Albus whispered, and Scorpius realized that he'd been lying still for much too long.
James took some doing: a bit of research and a lot of alcohol. There was also the troublesome issue of Albus, who refused to take Scorpius' rejection of him like a gentleman and followed him around everywhere, crying and demanding to know what had happened. Scorpius told him again and again that he'd simply decided the relationship was detracting far too much from his studies -- it was a reliable Ravenclaw defense, as standard as I need space in Scorpius' circle -- but Albus seemed to have the memory of a goldfish and would seek Scorpius out the next day with the same question, until Scorpius finally had to call him a boring prat so that Albus would leave him alone. Scorpius prayed that none of this would ever get back to the rest of the Potter family, or his chances of bedding them would become slim indeed.
It was already rather tricky getting James anywhere near his arsehole; James was quite definitely straight. But if Scorpius knew anything about boarding school chaps it was that they would reliably shag the shit out of each other if it was convenient enough, and he planned his approach carefully. It was toward the end of May, after the last Quidditch match of the year. James was a Beater for Gryffindor and he went out afterward with his usual group to sneak drinks at The Gryffon's Beak, a shabby pub that was known for serving minors under the table. Scorpius waited until James had thrown back four pints before buying him a double firewhiskey.
"What're you doin' here?" James asked when Scorpius finally got him alone. James was not quite as good looking as Albus, at least to Scorpius' taste; his face was a bit fat and brutish. He was nothing like his simpering twat of a brother, but he had his own faults, such as being a complete moron, in what Scorpius understood from his mother to be the Weasley family tradition. James was really more a Weasley than a Potter, more so than Ginny, even, but Scorpius needed to cross him off his list, and so when James asked why he was in the pub, Scorpius smiled and sat down beside him.
"I like Quidditch," he said, the words tasting like gillyweed oil on his tongue. "I'm a fan."
"Aren't you in Ravenclaw?" James squinted as if Scorpius were very far away, though he was actually quite close.
"Yes, but their team's shit. I prefer yours."
James laughed as if he expected as much and took another drink from his pint. It took very little conversation after that; Scorpius simply leaned over to whisper in James' ear that he'd heard from several of his ex-girlfriends that he liked to give a good spanking, and while Scorpius understood that James was not queer, he would not be opposed to James giving him a spectacular arse-reddening.
"It looks quite like a girl's," Scorpius said as James stared at him, dumbfounded. "And I'd be completely up for it, which, I understand, your ex-girlfriends were not, necessarily."
"Why the hell are you going around asking girls what gets me off?" James asked. The fact that he hadn't punched Scorpius and stormed away from the table was already a victory. His cheeks were bright red.
"Because I want you to do things to me," Scorpius said. "I've been naughty," he added, struggling not to laugh. Irena Beck had told him that James had once specifically requested this kind of childish dirty talk. Scorpius had been wary about asking the girls who had dated James to tell him hilarious stories about James -- his excuse was that he was pulling a prank on him and wanted to make James look like a complete arse -- but apparently James had cheated on many of them, which was fortunate. They all behaved as if they'd been waiting for someone to give them the excuse to defame him.
"If you ever tell anyone I'll take your head off with my bare hands," James said as he and Scorpius undressed in the upstairs attic of The Gryffon's Beak, amid old cauldrons and stacked chairs.
"I'm sure you will," Scorpius said, bending over and exposing his bare arse to do away with any remaining hesitation.
The experience with James was an exercise in stifling laughter. Even as Scorpius' arse stung horribly, he had to chew his tongue to keep from breaking into hysterics over the ridiculous things that James found sexy. He asked Scorpius if he'd been bad, if he was a bad boy (twice he said 'girl'), if he liked being punished and on and on and so forth. Scorpius had to envision receiving a blowjob from Albus just to stay hard, until James finally gave in to whatever he'd been trying to express via spanking, tore his trousers down and fucked Scorpius until they were both screaming loud enough to nearly shatter the Silencing Charm Scorpius had cast.
When they were done James stumbled away as if he weren't sure where he was. Scorpius was grateful for the lack of aftermath; he stopped by the potions shop on the way back to the castle to pick up an All-Purpose Healing Tonic and a pack of crisps. Back in his room, Healing Tonic applied, he happily made his notes: Large cock (21.6 centimetres approx.), ridiculously hairy balls, grunts frequently, obsession with spanking likely resulting from a fascination with the arse generally (perhaps regardless of gender of the possessor), sweaty hands, belched twice, come smelt oddly of lemongrass.
He flipped back to his notes about Albus. There weren't many, and he wasn't sure why, as he'd been with Albus for quite a time and did a number of things with him beyond the actual consummation. He made a mental note to work on that section of the book a bit more and put his quill and tablet away, thoroughly exhausted.
Lily wasn't exactly a challenge. Scorpius had already anticipated her section of the book being rather tedious, but it was necessary. They dated for several weeks during Scorpius' seventh year as he waited for her sixteenth birthday to arrive. He tried to get her to keep their relationship a secret, offering up some nonsense about his parents having forbidden him to ever date a Potter or Weasley, but she was a bit of a braggart and word got around. It was irritating but not disastrous; Scorpius would simply have to break things off more gradually with her, perhaps at the end of the school year, so that she wouldn't go sobbing home to Mum and Dad and ruin Scorpius' chances of shagging them.
The only real problem was Albus. He cornered Scorpius near the Potions dungeon one afternoon and nearly knocked the supplies Scorpius was carrying out of his hands as he pushed him back against the stone wall. He looked as if he were prepared to do murder, which was actually rather an improvement over his usual wounded, maudlin expression.
"Stay away from my sister," Albus growled. Scorpius smiled.
"Jealous?" he asked, unable to resist prodding him. Albus grabbed him by the neck and seemed to want to choke him, but his hand just trembled there, his fingers barely pinching against Scorpius' pulse.
"I mean it, damn you," Albus said. "If you hurt her, I'll, I'll --"
"You'll what? Kill me? Believe it or not, I like your sister enough to risk it."
"But, but --"
"But I was with you? And you happen to be male? Yes, well, I was young and confused. Anyway, I haven't promised her marriage -- and I hardly promised that to you, by the way -- so please respect your sister enough to make her own decisions."
Albus stood there looking as if he'd had a lot more to say but it had all suddenly become moot. His hand slipped slowly off of Scorpius' neck, banging clumsily against his chest on the way down.
"Don't you ever feel guilty about what you did to me?" Albus whispered. He looked down at the floor after he'd spoken; that was probably the last thing he'd meant to say. Scorpius sighed in disbelief. Who on earth was this clumsy with his feelings, as if anyone else cared enough to hear them at all?
"We were sixteen," Scorpius said. "You think you're the only one at school who feels he's been dumped unfairly?"
"But it was after -- after --"
"Have you ever considered that my distaste for that particular act upon finally trying it was what convinced me that I wasn't interested in men after all?"
Albus walked away with his shoulders sloped and his eyes downcast like the perfect cartoon image of defeat. Scorpius moaned, glad to be rid of him.
The consummation with Lily happened two days after her sixteenth birthday in a lovely glen by the lake. It was so dull that Scorpius nearly fell asleep, and female anatomy continued to feel like an irrelevant phenomenon that he was never meant to examine closely. She seemed to be a bit unimpressed with the experience herself, but Scorpius would leave that part out of the book. He made his notes later that evening, and found himself struggling to even remember the details: Freckled breasts are somewhat endearing, didn't seem to be in pain so possibly not a virgin, preferred to be on top.
Breaking up with Lily proved to be rather easy; she initiated the split herself a week before school ended.
"It's just that I've got exams," she said, clearly embarrassed on Scorpius' behalf and having a hard time looking him in the eye. "And you're leaving soon anyway."
"I quite understand," Scorpius said. He gave her a hug and walked away, trying to resist the urge to rip all of the curtains in the hallway down and shred them to pieces with his teeth. The nerve of that pointless bloody girl. He would have his revenge when he wrote his book, and even more so when he triumphantly slept with her parents.
Harry was a trial and an obsession, the real thrust of the book's whole premise. Scorpius had to become an Auror in order to even have the chance to meet him, a profession he hated but excelled in simply because he had to. Without doing well he would never have gained the attention of Harry Potter, who made a few wistful comments about Scorpius' father that increased Scorpius' hope of someday getting closer to Harry.
"I thought Father and Harry Potter hated each other," Scorpius said to his mother when he was home for dinner one weekend. His father was elsewhere in the Manor, as usual.
"Oh, your father hated him, you can be certain of that," his mother said. "But he actually had a theory that Harry Potter had some sort of repressed sexual fascination with him. I thought your father was out of his mind until I attended a charity function and Potter asked after your father's health and then asked a second time after several strong drinks."
"Excellent," Scorpius blurted without thinking. "I mean, how interesting."
Astoria rolled her eyes as if she didn't even have the energy to inquire.
Armed with this information, Scorpius began his seduction full-force. He was assigned to Harry's team on a mission to Quebec to locate an enchanted oil lamp that some Muggles had gotten hold of thinking it contained a genie when it was in fact designed to curse anyone who touched it. It was the dead of winter, and finding the lamp required journeying into deep woods where they set up tents for rest during the night. There were four Aurors along on the journey, and as the two of them who were not Harry and Scorpius were married to each other, they shared a tent while Harry and Scorpius took the other. Scorpius knew he would not be presented with such a serendipitous chance again, and he dropped careful hints as the mission progressed, sitting close to Harry at the fire, gently tending to Harry's hand after a Spiked Earflower bit him, and talking with him quietly when they were together inside the warm darkness of the tent.
"Are you ever frightened?" Scorpius asked one night when he felt the tension between them had reached its peak. The night before, he'd faked a nightmare and clung to Harry, shaking and crying as Harry shushed and comforted him. Earlier that day, he'd reached for a bottle of Pepper-Up Potion in their supply kit at the same moment Harry had, and when their fingers touched Harry blushed. Scorpius had meant to hold Harry's gaze long enough to make his mouth water, but the blush had reminded him so much of that silly twat Albus that he'd looked away unintentionally.
"It just seems as if you'd never be frightened of anything," Scorpius said. "After everything you've faced."
"That's a common misconception," Harry said. His voice was low and a bit throatier than usual. Scorpius scooted even closer; he could feel the warmth of Harry's body already. It was completely dark inside the tent, the moon hidden behind thick clouds. Harry didn't move away, and Scorpius could hear the quick pace of his breath.
"But what could possibly scare you?" Scorpius asked.
"Myself," Harry said quietly.
"What on earth do you mean?" Scorpius reached over to softly place a hand on Harry's face. He had a bit of stubble growing, just barely, a sandpaper texture. Harry was incredibly handsome but Scorpius was glad for the darkness, so that he wouldn't be reminded of Albus again.
"Please," Harry said. He reached up and took Scorpius' hand as if he'd planned to remove it, but then he only held it.
"You can call me Draco," Scorpius whispered, a risk. Harry made a sound that was difficult to interpret and pulled away, but when he returned he was undressed and kissing Scorpius wildly.
He didn't actually call Scorpius Draco -- Harry Potter was above such indulgences, presumably -- but he held Scorpius as if he were looking for something already familiar in his body. Scorpius enjoyed himself; Harry was a good lover simply by virtue of who he was. It was fantastic to contemplate having the man who'd saved world inside of him, but Scorpius wasn't able to stop thinking enough to give himself completely over to the experience. Of course, that wasn't really the point. He took mental notes. Harry cried afterward, differently than Albus had. The next morning he spoke softly to Scorpius when they were alone together on a cliff that overlooked a snow-covered valley, said he was going home early, and what happened the night before had been a lovely release but could never happen again.
"I understand," Scorpius said, trying to seem innocent and selfless. Harry kissed his forehead and Apparated away.
Scorpius tried to use his nights alone in the tent to compose his notes on the experience, but as he had with Albus, he found it extremely difficult to write about sex with Harry. And like a fool he had forgotten to cast Lumos so that he could make a clear judgment about Harry's cock size. He would have to go on feeling alone, which was really quite sloppy.
He was in a bit of an odd mood about the whole project by the time he returned to London. He had a week off of work following the mission, and he used the time to consider the greatest challenge of all: Ginny Potter, the crown jewel. Anyone could bed the other four if they tried hard enough, but Ginny was a loyal wife and mother, a consummate professional in her career as a Quidditch analyst, and a war hero herself. Still, she was a woman who had needs, and if being fucked by Harry had taught Scorpius anything, it was that Harry and Ginny's marriage was hardly ideal.
Unfortunately, there was only one way he'd have any hope of getting close to Ginny. He could hardly quit his Auror position and suddenly take up Quidditch or Quidditch analysis or anything to do with Quidditch, really; even selling Cauldron Cakes at the London stadium would require far too much tolerance of Quidditch. He would have to take a different tack in order to make Ginny's acquaintance.
"What do you want?" Albus asked when Scorpius found him on the fifth floor of the Ministry, making an inventory of prophecies as he worked his way through the towering shelves. It was the sort of intellectually deadening work that Hufflepuffs always seemed to fall to, whoever their parents were.
"Nothing," Scorpius said, pretending to be sheepish. It actually was making him quite uncomfortable, the thought that he suddenly needed something from Albus of all people.
"Well, if it's nothing you want, I offer it freely," Albus said, still scribbling on his roll of parchment, which was dragging on the floor.
"Alright." Scorpius sighed as if he were overwhelmed by humility. "I've been thinking about you."
"Have you?" Albus' attempt to sound disinterested was completely transparent, of course.
"Yes. Quite a bit. I was struggling so much with my, er, sexuality when we were together and when I treated you so horribly. It's just that my parents are so against it, and I didn't want to turn into something they'd hate. Can't you understand that? Didn't you ever wish you could just be normal?"
"I didn't care so much about being normal as long as I got to be with you," Albus said. He had a terrifying talent for humiliating himself. "Back then," he muttered. He finally looked up at Scorpius, who hadn't really had a chance to contemplate his first lover's face since they had left Hogwarts. Albus was still a bit soft-cheeked and his eyes were bright but sad. In adulthood it seemed less pathetic and more uniquely pretty.
"Oh, Albus," Scorpius said softly. "You were always so much smarter than me where it counted."
Again, Albus was easy. They went back to his flat together that night and Scorpius tore Albus' clothes off as soon as the door was shut, as if he'd been waiting a long time to have him again. There was something oddly pleasant about it. Albus was still a good kisser -- better, even -- and because Scorpius had already ticked him off of his list of Potters he didn't have to worry about making notes or keeping his head enough to observe things carefully. He let himself go completely thoughtless as he pulled Albus' legs apart to lick and suck and enter him, experiencing Albus' moans not as curious components of a Potter's ecstasy but simply as background noise that made Scorpius' cock twitch like Albus was playing its song.
Soon enough Scorpius was sleeping in Albus' bed every night, allowing Albus to crowd him with sweaty skin and hot breath. He made Albus promise again not to reveal their relationship to anyone, and Albus tried to talk to Scorpius about his "issues," but Scorpius wouldn't budge. He couldn't have Ginny knowing that he was dating her son. He was so close to the finish line, but without Ginny the book would just make him seem like an obsessive slag. With an account about sleeping with her, he would be lauded as a true genius.
He was always careful to go round to Albus' house when he knew Harry was out of the country on Auror missions. Harry and Scorpius never partnered on missions after their night together in the tent, and it worked out wonderfully for Scorpius, who could enjoy home-cooked meals with Ginny as Albus' "good friend." Most nights he tried to drink a bit too much so he'd have an excuse to stay over. He always planned to get up in the middle of the night and sneak down to the kitchen to find Ginny lonely and sipping wine, but Albus was so insatiable and Scorpius was so accustomed to having a go with him before sleep that every time he stayed over at the Potter household he would waste the opportunity by sleeping through the entire night with Albus pressed to him, all plans to seduce the lady of the house foiled.
Finally, on a sunny spring morning after he'd spent the night over at the Potters' and fucked Albus into the mattress of his childhood bed, he willed himself to get up early when he heard the sounds of Ginny stirring downstairs. Albus was still fast asleep, and Scorpius disentangled himself carefully, hating the sting of the chilly air outside of the bed. He showered and dressed to make himself presentable, and cast one last look at Albus before leaving the room, just to make sure he was still sleeping. He was, rosy-cheeked and curled around a pillow. Scorpius felt for a moment like he would be sick, as if something had floated into him and come out through his chest like a ghost, but as far as he knew the Potter household was not haunted. He wrote it off as nerves about being so close to completing his life's work and left the room with determination.
Ginny was in the kitchen making herself a parfait for breakfast. She turned and smiled when Scorpius entered the kitchen. She was wearing a dignified silk robe and had her light red hair tied up in a sloppy bun on top of her head. She was certainly a lovely woman. Scorpius had never wanted anything less than to kiss her, but he had a job to finish.
"You're up early," Ginny said. "Would you like me to make you some breakfast?"
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of imposing!" Scorpius said. "I can get my own breakfast, but thank you very much."
"That's quite a change from the tune the others are usually singing around here," Ginny said. "When they're actually around, that is."
"Harry travels so often," Scorpius said. He stood beside Ginny at the counter to select a strawberry from the pile of them that she'd dumped into a large bowl.
"Yes," she said. "With the children grown, the big house can get quite lonely. I travel often enough for my own work that I don't mind the quiet once in awhile, though."
"It's almost as if you and Harry have separate lives," Scorpius said, a bit gracelessly perhaps. Ginny looked up at him and stopped just short of frowning.
"Forgive me," Scorpius gushed. "That was presumptuous."
"A bit." Ginny smiled. "But it's true. Not everyone can understand that about us. We're both very independent people, always have been."
"So you don't ever want . . . " Scorpius paused and placed a hand lightly on Ginny's shoulder. She didn't flinch. "Some company?" he asked, keeping his voice low as he took a step closer. She smiled.
"Oh, dear," she said. She patted Scorpius' cheek in a decidedly unsexy way. "How sweet. But I'm sorry, I don't really fancy younger men."
She stepped away and fished around in a cupboard until she came up with a canister of sugar. Scorpius stood frozen by the strawberries, in shock, and also incredibly relieved. He smiled shakily, not sure what was happening.
"Sorry," he said, hating the weak sound of his own voice.
"Don't apologize," Ginny said. "I'm flattered, really. Would you like a cup of tea?"
"No, thank you. I think I'll go see if Albus is awake."
Scorpius walked toward the stairs. He considered the fact that Ginny had her back to him; he could easily Apparate away, clearly done with the Potter household and the Potters generally. Ginny would never change her mind; he had seen it all over her face. He'd failed. He went up the stairs and back into Albus' room without really thinking about it. He was completely consumed by a sense of wishing he knew what to think.
"There you are," Albus said when Scorpius shut the door behind him. Albus was still puffy-eyed and stretched out in bed, his hair a mess. "Where'd you go?" he asked.
"Nowhere," Scorpius said. "Just downstairs to have something to eat."
Albus did something then that should have sent Scorpius running. He held his arms out like Scorpius was a child who would be thrilled with the idea of bouncing into them, an infant who wanted nothing more. It was the perfect time to groan with exasperation and Apparate away. Scorpius could get on with his life and never look back at his stupid teenage plan for revenge on the world that had gone much too far. But he just kept standing still and staring as Albus' arms began to tremble a little from the effort of being held out for him.
When he climbed onto the bed and slumped down against Albus' chest, Albus wrapped him up tightly and kissed the crown of his head. Scorpius was tense for just a moment, and then he sank into Albus, who had come to feel and smell so familiar. Albus stroked Scorpius' hair, his ear, his neck. Scorpius tried to resist the urge to cling to him, but he couldn't. He clung like he would die if he didn't.
"What's wrong?" Albus asked. "You're shaking."
"Nothing," Scorpius said. He pressed his face to Albus' neck, which was still a bit damp from sleep. "I think I did all of this because of you," he whispered, hoping he could say it out loud without Albus really hearing.
"All of what?" Albus asked.
"Every mistake. Just, everything."
"Oh, well." Albus rolled onto his side and clamped a leg around Scorpius' waist possessively. "What does it matter now? We've ended up together in the end, haven't we?"
Scorpius shut his eyes and tried to duck the question, but the answer leapt out of him without his consent.
"Yes," he said. "We have."
Which was maybe, oddly, and somewhat annoyingly, the point all along. Scorpius smiled and tucked himself in closer to Albus, who hummed happily and rubbed against him like the sweet and eager fool he was. But he was Scorpius' fool, and that meant that Scorpius had won something back from the Potters and the world at large, hadn't he? Maybe not the familial dignity or last laugh he'd hoped for, but this was something. This was something very good after all.
*