Breaking Darkness; Foreshadowing Light
Title: Breaking Darkness; Foreshadowing Light
Author: Hollow_Strife
Beta Credit: torncorpse
Characters: Riku and Sora
Word Count: 9,370
Rating: NC_17
Summary: There were so many things Sora wanted to ask, so many thing Sora wanted to know. Why did you leave me? Why don't you, or more so why can't you love me? These words, these answers, meant more to him then anything else ever could.
Disclaimer: This is a total and complete work of fiction. I in no way own any of the character's mentioned in this work of fiction. I am not making any sort of profit off of this.
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Author's Note: So there's actually a story behind this story. I had began working on this, and I was actually quite liking not only the story, but also where it was going. I was half way through when I realized that unfortunately, it was not what I truly wanted to do. And so this is the result of my failed attempt.
This is dedicated to the wonderful, amazing misumisu84. Misu, I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but I still hope that you like it. Also, I'm placing the blame for this one on you. Just so you know.
This is, effectively, a follow up to "Chasing Shadows at Midnight". I'm going to refrain from calling it a sequel, because both stories can be read alone without knowledge of the other, and I believe that this story will stand on it's own, even if events in the previous story are mentioned. I also realize, for readers of "Chasing Shadows at Midnight" that this clashes with the ending of the first story, and that's basically because I never thought I was going to write a follow up to it or anything of the sort. And so, I'm not going to change the ending, because I want both of them to stand on their own. Let's just pretend, for the sake of my own plot devices, that it makes sense.
Warnings: This contains images of what I think are a some what dark and twisted nature. I've been told it's slightly confusing but does get the point across, so be prepared for that. If you have any questions please free free to ask and I'll do my best to make you understand.
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Searching, you're constantly searching for something that you're never going to find. No matter how hard you try, no matter how long you take, you're never going to find what you're searching for. You can't find something that's right in front of you, something that's been right in front of you this entire time, because you're unwilling, unable to open your eyes and actually see it. You think you're so incomplete inside, so hollow and empty. You're so unwilling to see something that is right in front of you, something that is the complete and utter embodiment of what you've been searching so long for, because this thing, this person, see's the real you. Not the hollow shell of a person you claim to be.
You're so cold, so defenseless against your own feelings. Against what you perceive to be your feelings, the real ones, the true ones. Not the made up ones that you've been using to lie to yourself for so long that you can barely see the truth from fiction any more. It's this fortress of lies, this wall that you've built up so high around yourself, all but impossible for anyone who you deem unworthy, or simply not what you've fooled yourself into thinking you're looking for, to enter. I wish that you would stop living a lie, stop wanting to live a lie, and open your eyes and see how much you're hurting more than just the people around you. To see how much you're hurting yourself.
It's been a year since that night. A year since the night I finally managed to break down all of your walls. A year since the night I managed to come crashing through the prison you had built around your heart. A year since the night that changed my life, and for that night, for that moment in time, I thought it had changed yours as well. But, as it turns out, I was wrong. Nothing had changed. You were still the same guarded person you had always been. You still kept your true feelings hidden deep within yourself. Deep down where the light couldn't touch it. Tell me, I want to know, why are you so afraid of the light? What is it about the light that scares you?
Whatever the reason, I know that your fear is what's keeping you from me. It's the reason why I'm out here, out here in the dark, cold, emptiness, instead of in there, in light, in the warmth of your arms. It's the reason why you refuse to even look at me, the reason you refuse to let me touch you. It's the reason you turn away from my touch, and tell me, in that horribly frightened voice of yours, that it was all a mistake. That we were a mistake. That I, the person you stood in your bedroom and claimed to love, was a mistake. That being with me, making love to me, was a mistake. How could something so beautiful, so loving, so breath taking possibly have been a mistake?
The answers to my question aren't easily found for they lay only with you. Only you can truly answer them, but how am I even supposed to ask them if you refuse to talk to me? If you refuse to even acknowledge my very existence? I know, just another empty question that I may never find the answer to. But you will notice me. You will acknowledge me. You will talk to me, and you will, by god, realize that there's more to life, more to you, than darkness. You don't belong in the darkness, you belong in the light, the light only I can provide.
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Sora could feel his heart pounding as he stared up at the softly illuminated window that he knew belonged to the room Riku occupied. It had been a year since he had been in that room, the room that held so many memories for him, both good and bad. Memories of late nights playing video games, neither of them willing to give into sleep until someone had won or lost. Lazy summer afternoons spent watching television in the cool stillness of the room Riku had inhabited since his childhood, and sleepovers where they had spent more time discussing their hopes, their dreams and plans than actually sleeping.
He knew, because he had spent a considerable amount of time learning the habits of the people who inhabited the house, that Riku's mother was on what she liked to call her weekend out, which was nothing more than the one weekend a month she spent at her sister’s house. It was nothing more than an excuse to get away from her recluse of a son and not have to spend her precious time pretending to be the caring, concerned mother that she was anything but. Sora knew, because he had spent considerable time hidden in the dense bushes that had been planted outside of the large living room window, that the relationship Riku had with his mother had slowly deteriorated, descending from the realms of bad, to almost unbearable. The two could barely stand to be in each other's presence for more than ten minutes, let alone live in a house together.
Sora also knew, because he had spent most of the summer following Riku around, going from the super market where he did all of the shopping that was needed for not only himself but also for the household, to the doctor's appointments that his mother had made for him when he wasn't feeling well, or when her pretend concern turned into something real and tangible. He had learned everything he needed to know about his one time friend. He learned the days of the week when Riku would be most responsive to what he was going to suggest. He learned the signs that indicated one of the severe mood swings that Riku seemed to have grown attached to was impending, getting ready to explode out into the world and unleash it's wrath upon it. He had also learned during the weekends when his mother was away, Riku did nothing but sit alone in his room, doing what appeared to be sulking.
Sora also knew, or he hoped, with all of his heart and soul, that when he entered the front door and made his way up the heavily carpeted steps and opened the door he had walked through just a year earlier, that the Riku he would be faced with would be one who was not only willing, but ready to open up to him as he once had. Sora knew, he had to know, had to be certain, that somewhere deep inside the silver haired male there were still those feelings that he had once expressed. They had just been buried deeply, so deeply inside the older male that he was unable to find them, unable to realize them on his own. He needed someone's help. He needed Sora. He had to need Sora.
You just couldn't stop needing someone. You just could stop loving someone. Sora had tired; many times he had tired over the last year to stop caring about Riku. To stop needing him. To stop wanting him. To stop loving him. But then, late at night, the thoughts would creep back into his head, completely unbidden by the person who was experiencing them, and would once again remind him that he needed Riku. Heart, soul and body. It was on those nights, on those times, that his own hand would be the one that would travel down his body, wrapping itself around his hardened cock and stroking, applying the exact about of pressure to extract the maximum pleasure. It would be his own slim fingers that would slip past the puckered ring of muscle that rested inside of him, working inside and out of his body, desperately searching for release. It was his hands, not Riku's, that satisfied him late at night when the wanting, when the need became too much for him to take.
Coming out of the shadows Sora moved soundlessly to the front door. Knowing he would find it locked, he dug out the key that Riku had given him years earlier, back before their world had been changed with the uttering of three little words. The key slipped into the lock just as it always had, the brass handle shining in harsh light provided by the street lamps. As quietly as he could, he pressed the door open and slipped inside, closing and locking the heavy wooden door behind him. He could hear the music coming from Riku's room. It came blasting out of the speakers and amp he had bought himself as a birthday gift, something loud and gritty, a form of rock music that Sora was neither familiar with nor cared for.
Good, Sora thought darkly. He wouldn't be able to hear him walking up the stairs, and by the time he even realized that someone else was in the house it would be too late. Sora would be there, standing in front of him, forcing the truth out of him. One way or the only, the time of reckoning had come, and Sora was going to get the long awaited answers to his questions. One way or the other, Riku was going to give him what he was looking for, and Sora was willing to go to any means necessary to get the required information.
Riku laid on his back, staring up at the white painted ceiling, the same one he had been staring at every night for the past year, desperately trying to find the answers to his own set of questions. Searching for something, anything, that could tell him that what he had done hadn't been the right thing to do. He had brushed off the most important person in his life. He had pushed him away, pushing and shoving until the younger boy had simply given in. He still couldn't truly believe what he had done. Still couldn't truly believe that it had been his own foolish actions that had led to the demise of the relationship he wanted for so long. The one he had worked so hard to obtain, after hiding the truth behind his true feelings, his true motivations for so long. He had, effectively, given it all up when he gave up on himself.
He closed his beautiful, sea form green eyes and brought the images back to life in his mind. The image of him and Sora, and the events that had taken places a year ago in the very room that he called his own, in the room that he now lay in, wondering why he had been so stupid. Wondering what in the world had ever possessed him to let something like Sora, something like what they had, what they could of had, go. What kind of idiot let's something so precious, so beautiful, slip through their fingers the way he had? Who could be stupid enough to let Sora go. The answer, the only answer that was truly possible, was him. He was the only one dumb enough to let his dream go.
As Riku laid on his neatly made bed, eyes tightly closed, lost in his own torturous thoughts, Sora made his way up the steps, stopping in front of the door he knew belonged to Riku. Pausing, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. How many times had he tried, with out any sort of success, to talk to the older boy? What made him think that this approach was going to be anymore welcomed than any of the others had? This one, Sora knew, could be less so, considering he had basically broken into Riku's home, and was even now standing in his hallway preparing to ambush him. It all sounded bizarre, even to Sora, and coupling it with the fact that he had basically been stalking the silver haired male for the past year couldn't be a good thing. In fact, most people would say that Sora's obsession wasn't one of a healthy or even natural sort.
Sora however, had given up on what people thought of him long ago. After all, didn't his parents think he was completely crazy? Even Roxas, his sometimes admittedly mentally unstable friend had started to wonder about the state of Sora's mental health. It was just one more thing that Riku had to feel guilty about. The fact that he effectively destroyed Sora's mental stability. Sora, on the other hand, knew he was perfectly fine. He wasn't crazy, he was perfectly sane, and more than capable of making his own decisions. Of course, considering the present situation he had put himself in, that statement could have easily been proven false.
Sora could now hear the music blaring from the speakers loud and clear. He wondered how he was going to be able to be heard over the drowning sounds of the music, but just as he was contemplating how to rectify the situation, the music suddenly died out, leaving only empty silence in it's place. Sora found that he missed the covering noise of the music. Now the noise his feet made as they walked towards the door to Riku's bedroom was sure to be heard. At that moment, Sora knew that the only option was to press on, the idea of being able to turn back long past and forgotten.
Riku had heard the foot steps on the stairs, even above the loud rock music he had been playing. He knew, somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that those foot steps belonged to Sora. He had been waiting for this day, or night, for as long as he been trying to push the brown haired boy away. He had been waiting for the day when younger man would finally decide that he had had enough. That he was tired of being pushed and shoved away. He was tired of being told that he wasn't what the older boy wanted. He had tried, had tried many times over, but yet none of them had made a lasting impression on Riku. No, he had been waiting for the time when finally, after many failed attempts and weeks and months spent wondering, despairing, that finally it was time for the final confrontation. Riku knew it was going to be a knock down, blow out, dirty fight. He was well prepared for it. He had hidden all of those long forgotten feelings deep enough inside of him that even he couldn't find them anymore.
Sora stood in the hallway, almost frozen in place, and thought that maybe, oh just maybe he had made a mistake. No, his heart screamed at him. Riku wasn't a mistake. Riku was his life. The only thing worth living for. Taking a deep breath, he moved towards the wooden door that would lead him to his destiny, and he knew that no matter what happened inside of this room, that he would always love Riku. He would always be Riku's, no matter what. He would always belong to Riku. Slowly, his hand tracing over the metal door knob, he pushed the door open, revealing the room that Riku now stood in. His ocean blue eyes quickly adjusted the bright light that came pouring out of the room, even as those same eyes met and locked with deep green ones. Ones full of curiosity and something akin to wonder.
"What are you doing here Sora?" Riku's smooth voice traveled up to his ears, melting into him, through him, so much so that it felt like he could hardly breath. His love was right in front of him. The tan skin that his hands and mouth explored so long ago shone under the harsh fluorescent light of his lamp. His silver hair was pulled into a low pony tail, keeping it from falling and cascading over his broad, masculine shoulders. His bangs still fell over those beautiful, deep green eyes. Eyes that Sora could get lost just looking into.
"I asked you a question." There was that voice again, so cold and unmoving, so emotionless it hurt. Sora knew that this was going to be hard, but he had never imagined it being this hard. He had never imagined that the very sound of Riku's voice would freeze him in place, rendering him speechless. Or maybe it was simply being back in this room, this room that held so many memories, both good and bad for him.
"I came to talk to you." Sora lowered his eyes as he turned around to close the door and click the lock in place. He knew that his actions were not going to be welcome ones, and he could sense the open hostility as well as see it in the way that Riku crossed his arms over his leanly muscled chest. A clearly defensive move, one that Sora was going to have to fight to counteract.
"How many times have I told you, there's nothing to talk about? What's done is done Sora, there's no changing that. There's no taking it back, and no amount of us talking things over is ever going to change that." The lies fell easily from Riku's lips. He had practiced them so many times he could probably have recited them in his sleep if he so chose.
"I don't care." Sora's voice came out much stronger than he had imagined it was going to. He was going to fight this battle until he had either won, until he had convinced Riku that the two of them were meant to be together, or until Riku had convinced him otherwise. "I don't care."
"Sora." Riku was exhausted. He was trying to do this as easily as possible, trying his hardest to not hurt the younger boy any more than he already had. Somewhere deep in side of him, he did love him, more than anything else in the world. "Please stop."
"How? How can I just stop caring about you?" Sora wondered out loud, moving towards the older male, intent on doing anything he could to convince him that what he was saying was truth. "How can you expect me to?"
"Because you have to Sora. You have to see." Riku looked up as Sora came towards him. "You have to Sora. You have to see that I don't care about you the way you care about me."
"Stop lying!" Sora yelled, he could feel that the battle was going to be harder than he had anticipated. His opponent stronger and better equipped than he had first thought. "I know you care about me. I know you do."
"You know nothing." There was that cold voice again, the one that blew through him and hardened his heart, the one that told him Riku spoke the truth. It was almost convincing enough to make him believe what Riku was saying was the truth. But he knew differently.
"I know you. I know what's in your heart." At the sight of disgust on Riku's face Sora stopped, staring directly into those eyes that held so little emotion it was almost scary. "I know that what we did, what was between us, wasn't a lie or a mistake. It was beautiful."
"Why are you doing this?" Riku asked after a moment of silence had passed between them. "Why? Why can't you just leave it be?"
"Because I love you Riku. I love you enough to fight for you, that's why." Sora said, his fingers reaching out and brushing over Riku's check, causing the older man to turn his head away from the touch, fighting every impulse he had to turn and face the younger boy. To take him into his arms and apologize for everything he had put him through over the last year. "I'm going to fight for you Riku, whether it's against an opponent I can't even see, or against whatever else you can throw at me. I'm going to fight for you."
"You have no idea what your getting yourself into Sora. You have no idea what's good for you, you never did." Riku could feel his resolve fading, the young dark haired boy finally breaking through his outer defenses.
"You're good for me Riku. Being with you is good for me. I know that. The question is, why can't you see it?" Sora posed the question he had held for so long.
"Don't you see Sora? I'm from the darkness, I belong there. You don't. You belong in the light." Riku state quietly. "I don't deserve you."
"If you're darkness and I'm light," Sora started, placing a hand on Riku's cheek and turning his head gently, until the silver haired male was looking him in eye once again. "Then let me be your light."
"Sora." Riku said quietly before soft, warm lips were pressed against his in an urgent kiss. No, his mind screamed at him. No, don't let him win. His heart, however, was a different story. It was jumping for joy, rejoicing in the return of the love that it had been without for so long.
Sora could feel Riku's hesitation, but it only made him press against him harder, trying desperately to bring the older boy into the kiss. He closed his eyes tightly, afraid of what he would see if he opened them. Slowly, ever so slowly, he could feel Riku responding, his lips opening slightly even as they began to press against Sora's. His strong arms coming up and wrapping around Sora's shoulders, a slender hand burying itself into Sora's chestnut brown hair. Sora sighed into the kiss even as he felt Riku's lips part. Taking his chance, he darted his tongue out and ran in over the smooth, full lips that were still pressed against his own, before pressing on, the limber tongue exploring the hot, wet cavern of Riku's mouth.
It had been so long since he had been in Riku's arms. Since he had been held like this, and kissed like this. Since he had felt that shimmer of hope and love dancing inside of him. This was it, this was the moment he had been waiting for. This was the moment he had waited a year for, and in that moment all he could think was that every second spent wondering, despairing, it had all been worth it. Riku was worth every moment of pain he had been through.
Riku could feel his heart, his soul, springing to life inside of him. All of the feelings that he thought were long dead, dead and buried deep with in him came springing back to life. This was how it was supposed to be. Just him and Sora. It was as if everything around them had disappeared. It was as if the last year had never happened, and they were back at that night, that night that had changed so much for both of them.
Sora could feel when Riku started to pull away, and in a desperate attempt to stop him brought his hands up to the back of his head, burying them in silver hair, and had pulled the two of them impossibly closer. He could feel the line of Riku's body against his. He could feel the flat chest and stomach pressed against his own. But more importantly, he could feel the blossoming erection as it pressed against his thigh. He also knew that Riku could feel his already painfully hard cock press against him. Shifting, he rocked his hips into Riku's causing their erections to press into each other, the pleasure coursing through both of their veins, evident even through the layers of clothes that separated them.
"Sora." Riku attempted, his voice coming out as more of breathy moan once the younger of the two had finally allowed him to pull away. He could feel the hum of Sora's reply against his neck, even as the kiss swollen lips played over the sensitive skin, licking and sucking as they went. He still remembered all of the secret spots that could drive the taller man insane, and he planed to use each and every one of them.
"Sora." Riku tried again, this time with more force, even as Sora's hand started to explore the planes of his hardened body. Lithe fingers ghosted over his chest as they trailed down his stomach and slid under the hem of the shirt he wore, only to be met with smooth, heated skin. He could feel the cool, calloused fingers traveling up his chest, even as the very talented mouth worked on his collar bone, leaving bite marks and bruises in it's wake.
"Sora stop." The words traveled from Riku's mouth into Sora's lust filled brain even as his hips crashed into Riku's once more, causing both boys to moan loudly. In truth, Riku didn't want this to end, but he couldn't see how sleeping together was going to make anything better. If anything it was only going to make things worse. Hadn't they already proven that once?
"Why? You seem to be enjoying it." Sora said with a smirk, even as his left hand traveled down once more, this time grasping Riku's hardened length through the fabric of his jeans and boxers.
"This isn't going to fix anything." Riku said quietly, hoping to get the message through to Sora, and hoping that maybe it would change his mind, even as he hoped that it wouldn't.
"I know." Sora whispered as he began to stroke Riku through the layers of clothes, bringing him to full hardness in a matter of seconds. "I don't care, I want you."
Riku wanted to tell him to stop, wanted to tell him that they had to talk about this. They couldn't just go jumping into something like this. After all, they had taken that path once and look where it had left them? He wanted to tell him to stop, but all he could feel was Sora's hand teasing his nipples, playing with them until the formed hardened peaks. His teeth scraping over the skin of his exposed shoulder, and his hand with those nimble fingers ghosting over his erection.
Sora could hear Riku's breath as it quickened, he could feel his hands bury themselves in his hair even as he brought his mouth back up to the taller boys and brought him into a searing kiss. His tongue darted out and traced over Riku's now swollen bottom lip before taking it into his mouth and biting it, until he could taste the metallic flow of blood on his tongue. Breaking the kiss, Riku gasped as he felt his shirt being pulled over his head, leaving his chest bare, the cool air from the air conditioning blowing over the sensitive skin causing goose pimples to erupt over his body.
"Sora." He all but breathed the name as Sora's lips attached themselves to his nipple, tongue darting over the hardened nub. He could feel the muscles in his lower stomach quiver as Sora's fingers ran over it, sliding underneath the barrier of his jeans to rub at the sensitive flesh that lay under it, while the other hand went to work on the button and zipper of the now very tight jeans, wanting nothing more than to release Riku's cock from the confines of it's cloth prison.
"Yes." Sora hummed the word as he pulled the brass zipper down, loosening the constricting bond that had been placed on Riku's hardened member. Sora smiled to himself as he hooked his thumbs under the hem of the dark wash jeans and the black boxers that lay beneath, and pulled. Even as they slid down the smooth, pale thighs Sora was dropping to his knees in front of Riku, fully intent on doing everything he had to, everything within his power to make Riku want this as badly as he did. He knew that even through Riku's body was sending one message, that his mind and his heart were both sending very different messages. Sora didn't just want Riku's body, he wanted his mind and heart as well.
"What are you doing?" Riku shuddered as his cock was freed from it's confines, the cool air combined with Sora's heated breath ghosting over the already leaking tip was almost too much for him to take. He wanted this, he couldn't deny wanting this, not in his heart and not in his mind. He wanted for it to be like that night a year ago, where everything had gone so smoothly, so wonderfully, it had seemed like he had been dreaming, even as he had sunk into the heated confines of Sora's body, it had still felt like some wonderful dream. He wanted them to both be in the moment, moving together in tandem. What he didn't want was for Sora to be on his knees in front of him, looking like a kicked puppy, waiting to do what ever his master demanded of him.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sora stated as seductively as he could, before leaning forward and placing a small kiss on the head of Riku' dick, making the older boy shudder and moan at the pleasure that coursed through his veins at the contact. He could feel the warm wetness of Sora's soft tongue as it dipped into the already leaking slit, even as his slender fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and began stroking steadily.
"Sora." Riku moaned the name as his cock was fully engulfed in the warm, wet cavern of Sora's mouth, his talented tongue playing over the underside and the large vein that rested there. Throwing his head back, his breaths came in pants as his hands tangled in the soft brown locks that rested on top of Sora's head. He could feel the head of his swollen member hit the back of Sora's throat, even as the constricted muscles relaxed and began to take him deeper into the narrow channel, until he was fully held in Sora's mouth and throat. The talented tongue still played over the thick vein on the underside of his cock, even as Sora's head began to bob up and down, taking Riku deep into his throat before releasing him back out into the open air.
Sora smiled around Riku's cock, his plan was coming together perfectly. Riku was fully enjoying himself, and he could tell from the clouded over look in his eyes that this was more than just simple lust. What was between them was so much more than just lust or longing. It was so much more than just sex, there was love, real and pure between them. Only love could make something that Sora had once seen as a disgusting act and make it seem beautiful in his damaged mind.
Riku's resolve was wavering, he hadn't wanted it to end like this. In fact, he had never wanted these events to take place at all. He could, with time, learn to reawaken the feelings he had long since allowed to die inside of him. He hadn't wanted Sora to drop to his knees in front of him and suck his cock like some sort of cheap whore. No, he had imagined that when they were finally to be together like this once more, it would be Riku who would be lavishing attention on Sora's small body, not the other way around. It would be both of them, fully wanting to engage in the acts that were about to transpire, not one of them on their knees begging for it to happen and the other desperately trying to find the words to make it all stop.
Riku could feel his release building slowly, the muscles in his lower belly tightening painfully. His hips rocked into the tight heat of Sora's mouth even as his hand came up and began running along the tight sack of his balls, doubling the pleasure that was already coursing over his body. He could feel his release coming only a second before it hit him, Sora's tongue playing over his slit, sending him over the edge. His essence shot out in long, thick spurts, spilling over Sora's tongue and down his throat.
Sora lapped greedily at Riku's now flaccid cock, trying desperately to coax every drop he could from it. The salty taste of the other boys release was still fresh on his tongue, along with something he could only equate with Riku. Standing up, he licked his lips hungrily and leaned into kiss the other male, hoping that the older of the two wouldn't mind the taste of himself that still lingered on others lips. Pulling the taller man down to him, Sora placed his lips on Riku's, slipping his tongue out to slide over the other's already abused lips, before taking it's place against Riku's own, a battle of dominance that neither would win or lose began slowly, need still filling Sora and slowly working itself back up in Riku.
As Riku's senses returned to him he could feel the need to push the smaller boy away from him welling up inside him once again. He had to find a way to stop this, stop it now before every thing was taken just that one step further. Riku knew that once they took it there, they could never go back. They had to stop, they had to talk about this. They had to talk about this now before it actually happened, before it was too late to go back and change things. They had made that mistake once, and it had almost ruined Riku, and by the looks of it, it had ruined Sora, or at least his out look on what love was. Somehow in Sora's mind, love now meant sex, making the person who you loved and was supposed to love you back happy through the act of sex.
Sora on the other hand was so sure, so completely sure that what he was doing was right he couldn't have stopped no matter how much Riku begged him. He knew that no amount of talking, no amount of spoken words could ever change what was between them. Nothing could ever change the true feelings that lay between them. Sora knew, deep in his heart he knew, that sex, the act of it, the feelings behind were special. He knew it was wrong to try and use it to convey his feelings to Riku, or more over to use it to try and convince Riku that the feelings he had been denying himself were real, that they weren't going away. They were right in front of him, in the form of the small brunette who was willing to give his heart and soul to just be noticed.
"Sora." Riku breathed once the younger boy had released him from the kiss once again, and he couldn't help but hold back a moan as lips once again attacked the already marked skin of his neck. "Sora, please, stop."
"Why are you lying to yourself Riku?" Came the whispered reply. "I know this is what you really want."
"You have no idea what I really want Sora. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this." Even as the lips attached to his neck pulled away, Riku closed his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand the look of hurt and confusion that was sure to be plastered on the younger boys face.
"No, you're wrong Riku. I know exactly what you want." Sora breathed in deeply, once more trying to calm himself, he was getting tired of trying to convince Riku that this was right. "Look at me."
"Sora." It had been more of a command than a request, and Riku realized that fully when a hand was placed on his chin, thumb and forefinger digging into the thin skin covering his jaw, and his face was turned roughly, forcing him to wince before opening his eyes.
"This," Sora placed his hand over his heart even as he saw the pained look on Riku's face, in his beautiful green eyes. "This is what you want."
"Yes." Riku whispered as he closed his eyes once again. The sight of Sora standing in front of him, face flushed, lips swollen, eyes clouded with lust was too much for him to take. The very sight of, the very thought of it, make his heart ache. "Yes."
"You already have that Riku. Don't you know?" Sora asked, sounding more sincere than he ever had. This was his time, this was his moment to try and convince the person that he loved more than anything else in this world, the person that meant more to him than anything else in the world, that they, the idea of them, was right. This was his time, his one time to plea for the love and affection of the other man. "You always have."
"Oh Sora." Riku sighed, opening his eyes once again, only to close them tightly at the sight of the hope that filled Sora's bright blue eyes. He loved him, he really did love Sora. But this, this was wrong, wasn't it?
Unable to find the answer to his own question, even deep down the in the recesses of darkness that he usually hid in, Riku leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sora's. He felt the younger boy sigh into the kiss, even as his thin arms came around his neck, pulling him closer. He realized at that moment that he was standing there, top forgotten, pants and boxers around his ankles, and Sora was standing there fully dressed, his shirt and pants acting as a barrier to the prize that lay underneath.
Sora could feel Riku's hands as they traveled down his back before grasping the hem of his shirt and tugging. Ecstatic that Riku was finally actually taking some sort of initiative to make this happen, Sora broke the kiss as the shirt was raised over his head and pulled from his body. His nipples already stood erect, a foreshadowing tale of the other organ that was standing erect and ready as well. Sora could feel the cool air as it hit his body before being once again pulled against Riku's warm one. The feel of skin on skin, finally being able to feel Riku against him made Sora feel dizzy, even as the skilled mouth crashed into his once again.
"Riku." Sora moaned as Riku's lips ghosted over the smooth, unmarked skin of his neck, sucking and biting along the way, marking the younger boy as his own much as he had been marked.
It still felt wrong, so wrong, but yet, some how, Riku knew this was the right thing. If even after everything he had put Sora through, after everything he had put himself through, they were still able to come together like this then they must belong together, they just had to. Riku marveled at the way his broad chest fit against Sora's smaller one, their frames melting and melding together seamlessly. His hands wandered over the smooth skin of Sora's lower stomach even as he felt the younger boy shudder under his touches. The button on Sora's jeans was quickly undone and the zipper quickly pulled down. Hooking his thumbs under the waist bands of both Sora's jeans and boxers, he tugged, much as Sora had to his.
The material slid over the pale, milky skin of Sora's thighs, and Riku couldn't fight the need to run his hands over the exposed flesh. Falling to his knees he carefully picked up Sora's right foot and slide the imposing sneaker that had once covered it off, followed by the left, allowing him to pull the offending garments off his lover. Once the job was done, he nuzzled the warm skin of the muscle thigh in front of him, blatantly disregarding the hard erection that stood in front of him, weeping and begging for his attention. Standing, he bent over and pulled his own pants and boxers off, along with the thick socks he wore in the place of shoes or slippers.
Sora smiled as Riku pressed into him once again, pressing not only their lips together but their erections as well. Sora moaned as Riku's now hard cock pressed against his weeping one. He had, purposefully, denied himself any sort of pleasure up until this point, and now as the sensations filled his senses he could feel his head spinning. He was here, he was here with Riku, and they were going to have sex. No, he corrected himself, sex was something you had with someone that meant nothing to you, the act itself was meaningless. What he and Riku had, what they did, was make love. He ground his hips against the taller boys, trying to create that delicious friction that would send him spiraling over the edge.
Riku smiled as he felt Sora pressed into him. Wrapping his hands around the smaller boy, he ran his hands down over his ass, earning a loud moan from Sora. Smirking, Riku placed his hands on the back of Sora's thighs and lifted, smirking once more when Sora wrapped his legs around his waist. Moving slowly with the weight added by Sora, he walked towards the bed, intent on depositing his load on it. Reaching his destination he let go on Sora, letting him drop gently on the bed, only to be pulled down on top of him, the two struggling to move against each other even as Sora tried to scoot up so he was fully on the bed instead of half on, half off.
Sora's face twisted in a smirk of his own as he saw Riku reach out a hand, desperately trying to reach the bedside table the tube of lubricate that rested in the drawer. Seeing his chance, Sora grasped Riku's strong shoulder in his hands, and pushed, using the momentum to roll Riku over so he was laying on his back, even as Sora moved to straddle him. The look of surprise on Riku's face was priceless. Sora knew he was so used to being dominant, not only with Sora, but in almost everything in his life. Actually being dominant, or the sub dominant one in this case, was new to Riku.
"You didn't think I'd let you have all the fun did you?" Sora asked slyly, even as he reached out a hand for the bedside table. The drawer slid open with a small squeak and Sora's nimble fingers found what they were looking for easily.
Riku could feel the blush as it creeped out onto his face and chest. This was not happening. There was no way in hell, no way in this world or the next, that Sora was going to fuck him. No one was ever going to stick their dick in his ass. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself and rethought his previous statement. Okay, so maybe Sora sticking his dick in his ass wouldn't be so bad, but it definitely was not how he had pictured this happening. The positively evil smirk that was currently plastered on Sora's face didn't exactly help his feelings on the subject either.
It wasn't until Sora opened the tube and poured the clear, shining liquid into his palm that the full realization actually hit Riku. Oh yes, this was really about to happen. It was, in his mind, an imperfect way to lose the virginity that he had held for so long, but it was also bittersweet. If he was going to do this anyone, it was Sora. He just always figured he would have been the one to iniate it. Or he at least would have been asked first. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for what was to come.
Instead of the cold, intruding fingers sliding past the cheeks of his ass and into the tight ring of muscles that laid in between them that he been expecting, he was greeted with the tightness of Sora's fisted hand as it spread the lubrication over his cock. The moan that slipped past his lips sounded more like a growl, even as his hips thrust up into Sora's hand. He whined at the loss of contact as Sora removed his hand, shaking his head, not wanting this to be over too quickly.
Sora knew what he was about to do would be painful, probably overly so, sliding himself onto Riku's hard length without any sort of preparation, but he had waited so long, had been dreaming about his for so long that the pain would hardly matter. It would simply be another sensation to try and commit to memory. Another memory of him and Riku that he would carry forever, inside of his heart, deep down would it could never be extracted by any opposing force.
Riku could hear the deep breath Sora took as he lowered himself onto his slick length, sliding down slowly until he was fully incased in the tight heat of Sora's body. It took all of Riku's will power to keep himself from thrusting up into the inviting warmth that surrounded him, but he could tell by the grimace on Sora's face that he was in pain. The look on the smaller's boy face was heart breaking, so determined even through the searing pain that was coursing through his body. Riku felt guilt over whelming him, knowing that he should have stopped the boy from deliberately hurting himself any further, whether it was physically or emotionally. He should have been more caring, he should have stopped before Sora even had a chance to carry out his plan. He needed careful preparation, not this rushed sense of urgency.
"Are you okay?" Riku asked as he saw the look of pain slowly vanishing from the younger boys face.
"I'm perfect." Sora whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Riku's, the movement of his body created a pleasurable friction to pass between the two of them.
Rising slowly, Sora placed his hands on Riku's chest and began to move, using his bent knees to bounce himself up and down, allowing Riku's cock to slide out of him, until only the head remained buried in the heated confines of his body, before impaling himself once again. Sora repeated this movement a handful of times, each time coming back down at a slightly different angle, searching for that prized spot inside of him that would make the world come crashing down around him.
Riku's hands had found their way to Sora's slim hips, even as his movements became more frantic. He moaned as Sora came crashing down, fully impaling himself, even as the tip of Riku's cock brushed against his prostate, making him shiver. Riku could see by the boys reaction that he found the much sought after spot, and feeling an air of cockiness thrust his hips up to meet Sora's next thrust, hitting the spot directly and powerfully. He was rewarded by Sora moaning his name loudly, even as the short blunt nails of his fingers dug into the slick skin of his chest, holding on for dear life as the sensations over took his senses.
Sora's movements slowed to a mere rocking of his hips, even as Riku continued to thrust into him, rubbing against the spot inside of him continually, the pain he had once felt a now long forgotten memory. He knew he wasn't going to last long, that this, this over whelming sense of pleasure and togetherness wasn't going to last. He had left himself, his own needs neglected for far too long. He could feel the tightening in his lower stomach even as Riku's handed wrapped around his weeping length, thumb running over the slit even as his long, slender fingers played over the underside. How could he possibly last when Riku was buried inside of him, hitting that spot over and over again, even as his fingers played over his engorged cock.
Riku knew Sora was close, and was ready and willing to do everything in his power to bring him to completion. It no longer matter how much pleasure he was currently receiving, the only thing in the world that matter was Sora. The voice that was currently moaning his name in that tone, so smooth and sweet, almost like honey, was enough to drive him over the edge. Sora's eyes, those deep ocean blue eyes, were screwed shut, even as he gave into the pleasure fully and spilled his release over Riku's hand, dripping down to land in the puddle on his stomach.
Sora felt as if he were dying, the dual pleasures proving to much for him. He gasped in air and felt as if his lungs were closing, folding in upon themselves even as the oxygen left his brain, leaving only pleasure behind. If he were dying, then he would go happily. Never had he imagined anything like what he was now experiencing. There were no words to describe the way he felt in that moment, no way he could ever form into words the love and devotion he felt in that moment.
Riku sighed even as the Sora came crashing down on him, brown spikes falling into his face as Sora's face was buried in his neck. His hands, still on Sora's hips, moved to run up and down the exhausted boys spine, comforting him in the only way he knew how. He was still buried in the tight confines of the other's body, his own erection now painfully hard, begging for it's own release. But this, Riku knew, this was what love was. Putting the other's need above your own. Doing what ever it took to keep the other safe, and whole, and most importantly, happy.
Sora pressed his lips to Riku's neck earning a moan from the older boy. His smirk as returned, even as he lifted himself off the heated chest he was currently resting on. He could feel fatigue plaguing every part of his body, but he knew, no matter how much he wanted to, that he couldn't rest yet. Riku's needs were still present and unaccounted for. Slowly rolling his hips, he heard the other boy moan even as his hands came to rest once more on his already bruised hips, fingernails creating half moon indentations where they had dug into skin.
Riku closed his eyes even as his body shuddered with his impending orgasm. He was close, so close, all it would take was a few more rolls of Sora's hips and he was going to explode for the second time that night. Bright lights were playing behind his tightly closed eye lids, as he focused on the sensations flooding his body and his mind. His hips thrusting into Sora uncontrollably, desperately searching for release inside the got cavern of the others body.
Sora felt Riku explode inside of him, his creamy, white essence filling him completely. Riku's head was thrown back in pleasure, exposing the long line of his throat, tempting Sora to lean down and lick his adams apple as his hips continued to roll, helping the silver haired boy under him to ride out his orgasm. That voice, husky and thick with lust and satisfaction moaned his name. This was perfection Sora thought. The two of them together, fulfilling each others need in every way shape and form.
Riku felt Sora as he fell limply against him once more, the pleasure still coursing through both of their veins. Never in his life had he ever come so powerfully, or so quickly for that matter. Only with Sora, only ever with Sora, could he have experienced something so powerful, so beautiful in it's own way. This was, in it's one way, what was right, and in that moment he wondered how he could ever have doubting that this, being together like this, was ever, could ever, be anything but right.
"Sora?" Riku asked quietly as the brunette buried his head in the crock of his neck, he was shaking slightly, and for a second Riku thought that younger of the two was crying.
"I'm alright." Sora whispered in his ear, even as he slid himself off Riku, the now spent member sliding out of his leaking ass. Laying on his side, head resting on Riku's chest, Sora smiled. "I'm perfect."
"We still need to talk about this." Riku stated the obvious. This, what they had done, didn't change anything, or much of anything. It simply confirmed that Sora had been right. There was a certain level of affection between the two of them. It didn't, however, answer any of the many questions that the two of them had, both for themselves and for each other.
"I know." Sora sighed, sounding tired after their earlier activities. This was where Riku told him that this had all once again been a mistake and kicked him out of his bed, out of his house. He braced himself, waiting for the insults to start coming, to start flowing out of Riku's mouth to fall on his ears. Waiting for the hands to push and shove at him, wanting only to get him as far away as humanly possible as fast as he could.
Instead he was encased in the warmth of the descarded sheet and comforter being pulled over his still heated skin and the lamp that sat on the side table being switched off, shrouding the boys in darkness. He could feel the feather light kiss that was pressed to the top of his head with a deep sigh.
"Tomorrow." Riku breathed as his arms wrapped tighter around the boy. "We're going to talk about this tomorrow Sora. All of it."
"Tomorrow." Sora repeated. There was going to be a tomorrow. A tomorrow spent with Riku. It didn't matter if it was going to be filled with them talking and hashing out their problems, their different and slightly disjointed views on whatever it was that was between them. It didn't matter. He had won.
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Words and actions, your words and actions, they speak of such different thoughts and feelings. Your words are so harsh and uncaring, so unforgiving of the mistakes both of us have made. So willing to go back into the darkness that I worked so hard to bring you out of. But your actions, they tell an entirely different story. They're gentle and caring, and speak of things to come, of a future that the two of us will share. Where there will only be us and the light that comes from love.
I'm willing to spend the rest of my life in darkness if that's what it takes to be with you. If that's what it takes to be by your side then I am willing to sell my soul, my heart, to the darkness and give into it fully. You are my life, the only thing that makes life worth living. You're my everything, and I am willing to sacrifice anything and everything to be with you, to make you realize that. You are everything that means anything and you're everything that means nothing at all.
The light, the light that I have spent my entire life living in and fighting for, means nothing when I compare it to you. I want to save you, I want to take you from darkness into the light. But you are, you are the darkness. I am the light and you are the darkness. Together, together we make perfect harmony. Maybe, oh just maybe, the light doesn't always have to win. Maybe darkness has it's place in the world too, no matter how many times, no many how much we're been taught, the darkness can't be all bad when it is capable of producing such beauty.
Maybe I've been fighting for the wrong side all along.
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Ending Author's Notes: So this is dark, slightly twisted, and makes little to no sense most of the time, not even to me. The beginning is in first person, from Sora's perspective. The very ending is also first person, from Sora's perspective, and everything in between is third person.
Sora is, well, the only way I can explain it is slightly messed up in the head here. He knows what's right and he knows what's wrong, but he can't exactly see it because all he wants to do is make Riku see that they belong together. That's the idea I had and that's what I wanted to convey. I'm not sure if I did it or not, because half of the way through I stopped being able to justify some of Sora's actions myself.
Riku is cold, and meant to be that way. I think I made him give in way to easily, but really, I could have spent most of this with him not wanting to give in, and then it would have turned into something I didn't want it to be. So Riku gave in, and enjoyed it.
The ending is, well, the end. I wanted to have it be like the beginning, except this time Sora realizing that maybe he didn't have to change Riku completely, hence brining him into the light.
I actually really love this. It's probably the best thing I'll ever write, or at least I think so. I poured myself into this, and seriously, as any of the people who have talked to me recently, I think my brain melted. I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you have gotten through all of it, long author notes and all, I'll give you little Riku and Sora shaped cookies. No lie.
Author: Hollow_Strife
Beta Credit: torncorpse
Characters: Riku and Sora
Word Count: 9,370
Rating: NC_17
Summary: There were so many things Sora wanted to ask, so many thing Sora wanted to know. Why did you leave me? Why don't you, or more so why can't you love me? These words, these answers, meant more to him then anything else ever could.
Disclaimer: This is a total and complete work of fiction. I in no way own any of the character's mentioned in this work of fiction. I am not making any sort of profit off of this.
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Author's Note: So there's actually a story behind this story. I had began working on this, and I was actually quite liking not only the story, but also where it was going. I was half way through when I realized that unfortunately, it was not what I truly wanted to do. And so this is the result of my failed attempt.
This is dedicated to the wonderful, amazing misumisu84. Misu, I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but I still hope that you like it. Also, I'm placing the blame for this one on you. Just so you know.
This is, effectively, a follow up to "Chasing Shadows at Midnight". I'm going to refrain from calling it a sequel, because both stories can be read alone without knowledge of the other, and I believe that this story will stand on it's own, even if events in the previous story are mentioned. I also realize, for readers of "Chasing Shadows at Midnight" that this clashes with the ending of the first story, and that's basically because I never thought I was going to write a follow up to it or anything of the sort. And so, I'm not going to change the ending, because I want both of them to stand on their own. Let's just pretend, for the sake of my own plot devices, that it makes sense.
Warnings: This contains images of what I think are a some what dark and twisted nature. I've been told it's slightly confusing but does get the point across, so be prepared for that. If you have any questions please free free to ask and I'll do my best to make you understand.
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Searching, you're constantly searching for something that you're never going to find. No matter how hard you try, no matter how long you take, you're never going to find what you're searching for. You can't find something that's right in front of you, something that's been right in front of you this entire time, because you're unwilling, unable to open your eyes and actually see it. You think you're so incomplete inside, so hollow and empty. You're so unwilling to see something that is right in front of you, something that is the complete and utter embodiment of what you've been searching so long for, because this thing, this person, see's the real you. Not the hollow shell of a person you claim to be.
You're so cold, so defenseless against your own feelings. Against what you perceive to be your feelings, the real ones, the true ones. Not the made up ones that you've been using to lie to yourself for so long that you can barely see the truth from fiction any more. It's this fortress of lies, this wall that you've built up so high around yourself, all but impossible for anyone who you deem unworthy, or simply not what you've fooled yourself into thinking you're looking for, to enter. I wish that you would stop living a lie, stop wanting to live a lie, and open your eyes and see how much you're hurting more than just the people around you. To see how much you're hurting yourself.
It's been a year since that night. A year since the night I finally managed to break down all of your walls. A year since the night I managed to come crashing through the prison you had built around your heart. A year since the night that changed my life, and for that night, for that moment in time, I thought it had changed yours as well. But, as it turns out, I was wrong. Nothing had changed. You were still the same guarded person you had always been. You still kept your true feelings hidden deep within yourself. Deep down where the light couldn't touch it. Tell me, I want to know, why are you so afraid of the light? What is it about the light that scares you?
Whatever the reason, I know that your fear is what's keeping you from me. It's the reason why I'm out here, out here in the dark, cold, emptiness, instead of in there, in light, in the warmth of your arms. It's the reason why you refuse to even look at me, the reason you refuse to let me touch you. It's the reason you turn away from my touch, and tell me, in that horribly frightened voice of yours, that it was all a mistake. That we were a mistake. That I, the person you stood in your bedroom and claimed to love, was a mistake. That being with me, making love to me, was a mistake. How could something so beautiful, so loving, so breath taking possibly have been a mistake?
The answers to my question aren't easily found for they lay only with you. Only you can truly answer them, but how am I even supposed to ask them if you refuse to talk to me? If you refuse to even acknowledge my very existence? I know, just another empty question that I may never find the answer to. But you will notice me. You will acknowledge me. You will talk to me, and you will, by god, realize that there's more to life, more to you, than darkness. You don't belong in the darkness, you belong in the light, the light only I can provide.
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Sora could feel his heart pounding as he stared up at the softly illuminated window that he knew belonged to the room Riku occupied. It had been a year since he had been in that room, the room that held so many memories for him, both good and bad. Memories of late nights playing video games, neither of them willing to give into sleep until someone had won or lost. Lazy summer afternoons spent watching television in the cool stillness of the room Riku had inhabited since his childhood, and sleepovers where they had spent more time discussing their hopes, their dreams and plans than actually sleeping.
He knew, because he had spent a considerable amount of time learning the habits of the people who inhabited the house, that Riku's mother was on what she liked to call her weekend out, which was nothing more than the one weekend a month she spent at her sister’s house. It was nothing more than an excuse to get away from her recluse of a son and not have to spend her precious time pretending to be the caring, concerned mother that she was anything but. Sora knew, because he had spent considerable time hidden in the dense bushes that had been planted outside of the large living room window, that the relationship Riku had with his mother had slowly deteriorated, descending from the realms of bad, to almost unbearable. The two could barely stand to be in each other's presence for more than ten minutes, let alone live in a house together.
Sora also knew, because he had spent most of the summer following Riku around, going from the super market where he did all of the shopping that was needed for not only himself but also for the household, to the doctor's appointments that his mother had made for him when he wasn't feeling well, or when her pretend concern turned into something real and tangible. He had learned everything he needed to know about his one time friend. He learned the days of the week when Riku would be most responsive to what he was going to suggest. He learned the signs that indicated one of the severe mood swings that Riku seemed to have grown attached to was impending, getting ready to explode out into the world and unleash it's wrath upon it. He had also learned during the weekends when his mother was away, Riku did nothing but sit alone in his room, doing what appeared to be sulking.
Sora also knew, or he hoped, with all of his heart and soul, that when he entered the front door and made his way up the heavily carpeted steps and opened the door he had walked through just a year earlier, that the Riku he would be faced with would be one who was not only willing, but ready to open up to him as he once had. Sora knew, he had to know, had to be certain, that somewhere deep inside the silver haired male there were still those feelings that he had once expressed. They had just been buried deeply, so deeply inside the older male that he was unable to find them, unable to realize them on his own. He needed someone's help. He needed Sora. He had to need Sora.
You just couldn't stop needing someone. You just could stop loving someone. Sora had tired; many times he had tired over the last year to stop caring about Riku. To stop needing him. To stop wanting him. To stop loving him. But then, late at night, the thoughts would creep back into his head, completely unbidden by the person who was experiencing them, and would once again remind him that he needed Riku. Heart, soul and body. It was on those nights, on those times, that his own hand would be the one that would travel down his body, wrapping itself around his hardened cock and stroking, applying the exact about of pressure to extract the maximum pleasure. It would be his own slim fingers that would slip past the puckered ring of muscle that rested inside of him, working inside and out of his body, desperately searching for release. It was his hands, not Riku's, that satisfied him late at night when the wanting, when the need became too much for him to take.
Coming out of the shadows Sora moved soundlessly to the front door. Knowing he would find it locked, he dug out the key that Riku had given him years earlier, back before their world had been changed with the uttering of three little words. The key slipped into the lock just as it always had, the brass handle shining in harsh light provided by the street lamps. As quietly as he could, he pressed the door open and slipped inside, closing and locking the heavy wooden door behind him. He could hear the music coming from Riku's room. It came blasting out of the speakers and amp he had bought himself as a birthday gift, something loud and gritty, a form of rock music that Sora was neither familiar with nor cared for.
Good, Sora thought darkly. He wouldn't be able to hear him walking up the stairs, and by the time he even realized that someone else was in the house it would be too late. Sora would be there, standing in front of him, forcing the truth out of him. One way or the only, the time of reckoning had come, and Sora was going to get the long awaited answers to his questions. One way or the other, Riku was going to give him what he was looking for, and Sora was willing to go to any means necessary to get the required information.
Riku laid on his back, staring up at the white painted ceiling, the same one he had been staring at every night for the past year, desperately trying to find the answers to his own set of questions. Searching for something, anything, that could tell him that what he had done hadn't been the right thing to do. He had brushed off the most important person in his life. He had pushed him away, pushing and shoving until the younger boy had simply given in. He still couldn't truly believe what he had done. Still couldn't truly believe that it had been his own foolish actions that had led to the demise of the relationship he wanted for so long. The one he had worked so hard to obtain, after hiding the truth behind his true feelings, his true motivations for so long. He had, effectively, given it all up when he gave up on himself.
He closed his beautiful, sea form green eyes and brought the images back to life in his mind. The image of him and Sora, and the events that had taken places a year ago in the very room that he called his own, in the room that he now lay in, wondering why he had been so stupid. Wondering what in the world had ever possessed him to let something like Sora, something like what they had, what they could of had, go. What kind of idiot let's something so precious, so beautiful, slip through their fingers the way he had? Who could be stupid enough to let Sora go. The answer, the only answer that was truly possible, was him. He was the only one dumb enough to let his dream go.
As Riku laid on his neatly made bed, eyes tightly closed, lost in his own torturous thoughts, Sora made his way up the steps, stopping in front of the door he knew belonged to Riku. Pausing, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. How many times had he tried, with out any sort of success, to talk to the older boy? What made him think that this approach was going to be anymore welcomed than any of the others had? This one, Sora knew, could be less so, considering he had basically broken into Riku's home, and was even now standing in his hallway preparing to ambush him. It all sounded bizarre, even to Sora, and coupling it with the fact that he had basically been stalking the silver haired male for the past year couldn't be a good thing. In fact, most people would say that Sora's obsession wasn't one of a healthy or even natural sort.
Sora however, had given up on what people thought of him long ago. After all, didn't his parents think he was completely crazy? Even Roxas, his sometimes admittedly mentally unstable friend had started to wonder about the state of Sora's mental health. It was just one more thing that Riku had to feel guilty about. The fact that he effectively destroyed Sora's mental stability. Sora, on the other hand, knew he was perfectly fine. He wasn't crazy, he was perfectly sane, and more than capable of making his own decisions. Of course, considering the present situation he had put himself in, that statement could have easily been proven false.
Sora could now hear the music blaring from the speakers loud and clear. He wondered how he was going to be able to be heard over the drowning sounds of the music, but just as he was contemplating how to rectify the situation, the music suddenly died out, leaving only empty silence in it's place. Sora found that he missed the covering noise of the music. Now the noise his feet made as they walked towards the door to Riku's bedroom was sure to be heard. At that moment, Sora knew that the only option was to press on, the idea of being able to turn back long past and forgotten.
Riku had heard the foot steps on the stairs, even above the loud rock music he had been playing. He knew, somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that those foot steps belonged to Sora. He had been waiting for this day, or night, for as long as he been trying to push the brown haired boy away. He had been waiting for the day when younger man would finally decide that he had had enough. That he was tired of being pushed and shoved away. He was tired of being told that he wasn't what the older boy wanted. He had tried, had tried many times over, but yet none of them had made a lasting impression on Riku. No, he had been waiting for the time when finally, after many failed attempts and weeks and months spent wondering, despairing, that finally it was time for the final confrontation. Riku knew it was going to be a knock down, blow out, dirty fight. He was well prepared for it. He had hidden all of those long forgotten feelings deep enough inside of him that even he couldn't find them anymore.
Sora stood in the hallway, almost frozen in place, and thought that maybe, oh just maybe he had made a mistake. No, his heart screamed at him. Riku wasn't a mistake. Riku was his life. The only thing worth living for. Taking a deep breath, he moved towards the wooden door that would lead him to his destiny, and he knew that no matter what happened inside of this room, that he would always love Riku. He would always be Riku's, no matter what. He would always belong to Riku. Slowly, his hand tracing over the metal door knob, he pushed the door open, revealing the room that Riku now stood in. His ocean blue eyes quickly adjusted the bright light that came pouring out of the room, even as those same eyes met and locked with deep green ones. Ones full of curiosity and something akin to wonder.
"What are you doing here Sora?" Riku's smooth voice traveled up to his ears, melting into him, through him, so much so that it felt like he could hardly breath. His love was right in front of him. The tan skin that his hands and mouth explored so long ago shone under the harsh fluorescent light of his lamp. His silver hair was pulled into a low pony tail, keeping it from falling and cascading over his broad, masculine shoulders. His bangs still fell over those beautiful, deep green eyes. Eyes that Sora could get lost just looking into.
"I asked you a question." There was that voice again, so cold and unmoving, so emotionless it hurt. Sora knew that this was going to be hard, but he had never imagined it being this hard. He had never imagined that the very sound of Riku's voice would freeze him in place, rendering him speechless. Or maybe it was simply being back in this room, this room that held so many memories, both good and bad for him.
"I came to talk to you." Sora lowered his eyes as he turned around to close the door and click the lock in place. He knew that his actions were not going to be welcome ones, and he could sense the open hostility as well as see it in the way that Riku crossed his arms over his leanly muscled chest. A clearly defensive move, one that Sora was going to have to fight to counteract.
"How many times have I told you, there's nothing to talk about? What's done is done Sora, there's no changing that. There's no taking it back, and no amount of us talking things over is ever going to change that." The lies fell easily from Riku's lips. He had practiced them so many times he could probably have recited them in his sleep if he so chose.
"I don't care." Sora's voice came out much stronger than he had imagined it was going to. He was going to fight this battle until he had either won, until he had convinced Riku that the two of them were meant to be together, or until Riku had convinced him otherwise. "I don't care."
"Sora." Riku was exhausted. He was trying to do this as easily as possible, trying his hardest to not hurt the younger boy any more than he already had. Somewhere deep in side of him, he did love him, more than anything else in the world. "Please stop."
"How? How can I just stop caring about you?" Sora wondered out loud, moving towards the older male, intent on doing anything he could to convince him that what he was saying was truth. "How can you expect me to?"
"Because you have to Sora. You have to see." Riku looked up as Sora came towards him. "You have to Sora. You have to see that I don't care about you the way you care about me."
"Stop lying!" Sora yelled, he could feel that the battle was going to be harder than he had anticipated. His opponent stronger and better equipped than he had first thought. "I know you care about me. I know you do."
"You know nothing." There was that cold voice again, the one that blew through him and hardened his heart, the one that told him Riku spoke the truth. It was almost convincing enough to make him believe what Riku was saying was the truth. But he knew differently.
"I know you. I know what's in your heart." At the sight of disgust on Riku's face Sora stopped, staring directly into those eyes that held so little emotion it was almost scary. "I know that what we did, what was between us, wasn't a lie or a mistake. It was beautiful."
"Why are you doing this?" Riku asked after a moment of silence had passed between them. "Why? Why can't you just leave it be?"
"Because I love you Riku. I love you enough to fight for you, that's why." Sora said, his fingers reaching out and brushing over Riku's check, causing the older man to turn his head away from the touch, fighting every impulse he had to turn and face the younger boy. To take him into his arms and apologize for everything he had put him through over the last year. "I'm going to fight for you Riku, whether it's against an opponent I can't even see, or against whatever else you can throw at me. I'm going to fight for you."
"You have no idea what your getting yourself into Sora. You have no idea what's good for you, you never did." Riku could feel his resolve fading, the young dark haired boy finally breaking through his outer defenses.
"You're good for me Riku. Being with you is good for me. I know that. The question is, why can't you see it?" Sora posed the question he had held for so long.
"Don't you see Sora? I'm from the darkness, I belong there. You don't. You belong in the light." Riku state quietly. "I don't deserve you."
"If you're darkness and I'm light," Sora started, placing a hand on Riku's cheek and turning his head gently, until the silver haired male was looking him in eye once again. "Then let me be your light."
"Sora." Riku said quietly before soft, warm lips were pressed against his in an urgent kiss. No, his mind screamed at him. No, don't let him win. His heart, however, was a different story. It was jumping for joy, rejoicing in the return of the love that it had been without for so long.
Sora could feel Riku's hesitation, but it only made him press against him harder, trying desperately to bring the older boy into the kiss. He closed his eyes tightly, afraid of what he would see if he opened them. Slowly, ever so slowly, he could feel Riku responding, his lips opening slightly even as they began to press against Sora's. His strong arms coming up and wrapping around Sora's shoulders, a slender hand burying itself into Sora's chestnut brown hair. Sora sighed into the kiss even as he felt Riku's lips part. Taking his chance, he darted his tongue out and ran in over the smooth, full lips that were still pressed against his own, before pressing on, the limber tongue exploring the hot, wet cavern of Riku's mouth.
It had been so long since he had been in Riku's arms. Since he had been held like this, and kissed like this. Since he had felt that shimmer of hope and love dancing inside of him. This was it, this was the moment he had been waiting for. This was the moment he had waited a year for, and in that moment all he could think was that every second spent wondering, despairing, it had all been worth it. Riku was worth every moment of pain he had been through.
Riku could feel his heart, his soul, springing to life inside of him. All of the feelings that he thought were long dead, dead and buried deep with in him came springing back to life. This was how it was supposed to be. Just him and Sora. It was as if everything around them had disappeared. It was as if the last year had never happened, and they were back at that night, that night that had changed so much for both of them.
Sora could feel when Riku started to pull away, and in a desperate attempt to stop him brought his hands up to the back of his head, burying them in silver hair, and had pulled the two of them impossibly closer. He could feel the line of Riku's body against his. He could feel the flat chest and stomach pressed against his own. But more importantly, he could feel the blossoming erection as it pressed against his thigh. He also knew that Riku could feel his already painfully hard cock press against him. Shifting, he rocked his hips into Riku's causing their erections to press into each other, the pleasure coursing through both of their veins, evident even through the layers of clothes that separated them.
"Sora." Riku attempted, his voice coming out as more of breathy moan once the younger of the two had finally allowed him to pull away. He could feel the hum of Sora's reply against his neck, even as the kiss swollen lips played over the sensitive skin, licking and sucking as they went. He still remembered all of the secret spots that could drive the taller man insane, and he planed to use each and every one of them.
"Sora." Riku tried again, this time with more force, even as Sora's hand started to explore the planes of his hardened body. Lithe fingers ghosted over his chest as they trailed down his stomach and slid under the hem of the shirt he wore, only to be met with smooth, heated skin. He could feel the cool, calloused fingers traveling up his chest, even as the very talented mouth worked on his collar bone, leaving bite marks and bruises in it's wake.
"Sora stop." The words traveled from Riku's mouth into Sora's lust filled brain even as his hips crashed into Riku's once more, causing both boys to moan loudly. In truth, Riku didn't want this to end, but he couldn't see how sleeping together was going to make anything better. If anything it was only going to make things worse. Hadn't they already proven that once?
"Why? You seem to be enjoying it." Sora said with a smirk, even as his left hand traveled down once more, this time grasping Riku's hardened length through the fabric of his jeans and boxers.
"This isn't going to fix anything." Riku said quietly, hoping to get the message through to Sora, and hoping that maybe it would change his mind, even as he hoped that it wouldn't.
"I know." Sora whispered as he began to stroke Riku through the layers of clothes, bringing him to full hardness in a matter of seconds. "I don't care, I want you."
Riku wanted to tell him to stop, wanted to tell him that they had to talk about this. They couldn't just go jumping into something like this. After all, they had taken that path once and look where it had left them? He wanted to tell him to stop, but all he could feel was Sora's hand teasing his nipples, playing with them until the formed hardened peaks. His teeth scraping over the skin of his exposed shoulder, and his hand with those nimble fingers ghosting over his erection.
Sora could hear Riku's breath as it quickened, he could feel his hands bury themselves in his hair even as he brought his mouth back up to the taller boys and brought him into a searing kiss. His tongue darted out and traced over Riku's now swollen bottom lip before taking it into his mouth and biting it, until he could taste the metallic flow of blood on his tongue. Breaking the kiss, Riku gasped as he felt his shirt being pulled over his head, leaving his chest bare, the cool air from the air conditioning blowing over the sensitive skin causing goose pimples to erupt over his body.
"Sora." He all but breathed the name as Sora's lips attached themselves to his nipple, tongue darting over the hardened nub. He could feel the muscles in his lower stomach quiver as Sora's fingers ran over it, sliding underneath the barrier of his jeans to rub at the sensitive flesh that lay under it, while the other hand went to work on the button and zipper of the now very tight jeans, wanting nothing more than to release Riku's cock from the confines of it's cloth prison.
"Yes." Sora hummed the word as he pulled the brass zipper down, loosening the constricting bond that had been placed on Riku's hardened member. Sora smiled to himself as he hooked his thumbs under the hem of the dark wash jeans and the black boxers that lay beneath, and pulled. Even as they slid down the smooth, pale thighs Sora was dropping to his knees in front of Riku, fully intent on doing everything he had to, everything within his power to make Riku want this as badly as he did. He knew that even through Riku's body was sending one message, that his mind and his heart were both sending very different messages. Sora didn't just want Riku's body, he wanted his mind and heart as well.
"What are you doing?" Riku shuddered as his cock was freed from it's confines, the cool air combined with Sora's heated breath ghosting over the already leaking tip was almost too much for him to take. He wanted this, he couldn't deny wanting this, not in his heart and not in his mind. He wanted for it to be like that night a year ago, where everything had gone so smoothly, so wonderfully, it had seemed like he had been dreaming, even as he had sunk into the heated confines of Sora's body, it had still felt like some wonderful dream. He wanted them to both be in the moment, moving together in tandem. What he didn't want was for Sora to be on his knees in front of him, looking like a kicked puppy, waiting to do what ever his master demanded of him.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sora stated as seductively as he could, before leaning forward and placing a small kiss on the head of Riku' dick, making the older boy shudder and moan at the pleasure that coursed through his veins at the contact. He could feel the warm wetness of Sora's soft tongue as it dipped into the already leaking slit, even as his slender fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and began stroking steadily.
"Sora." Riku moaned the name as his cock was fully engulfed in the warm, wet cavern of Sora's mouth, his talented tongue playing over the underside and the large vein that rested there. Throwing his head back, his breaths came in pants as his hands tangled in the soft brown locks that rested on top of Sora's head. He could feel the head of his swollen member hit the back of Sora's throat, even as the constricted muscles relaxed and began to take him deeper into the narrow channel, until he was fully held in Sora's mouth and throat. The talented tongue still played over the thick vein on the underside of his cock, even as Sora's head began to bob up and down, taking Riku deep into his throat before releasing him back out into the open air.
Sora smiled around Riku's cock, his plan was coming together perfectly. Riku was fully enjoying himself, and he could tell from the clouded over look in his eyes that this was more than just simple lust. What was between them was so much more than just lust or longing. It was so much more than just sex, there was love, real and pure between them. Only love could make something that Sora had once seen as a disgusting act and make it seem beautiful in his damaged mind.
Riku's resolve was wavering, he hadn't wanted it to end like this. In fact, he had never wanted these events to take place at all. He could, with time, learn to reawaken the feelings he had long since allowed to die inside of him. He hadn't wanted Sora to drop to his knees in front of him and suck his cock like some sort of cheap whore. No, he had imagined that when they were finally to be together like this once more, it would be Riku who would be lavishing attention on Sora's small body, not the other way around. It would be both of them, fully wanting to engage in the acts that were about to transpire, not one of them on their knees begging for it to happen and the other desperately trying to find the words to make it all stop.
Riku could feel his release building slowly, the muscles in his lower belly tightening painfully. His hips rocked into the tight heat of Sora's mouth even as his hand came up and began running along the tight sack of his balls, doubling the pleasure that was already coursing over his body. He could feel his release coming only a second before it hit him, Sora's tongue playing over his slit, sending him over the edge. His essence shot out in long, thick spurts, spilling over Sora's tongue and down his throat.
Sora lapped greedily at Riku's now flaccid cock, trying desperately to coax every drop he could from it. The salty taste of the other boys release was still fresh on his tongue, along with something he could only equate with Riku. Standing up, he licked his lips hungrily and leaned into kiss the other male, hoping that the older of the two wouldn't mind the taste of himself that still lingered on others lips. Pulling the taller man down to him, Sora placed his lips on Riku's, slipping his tongue out to slide over the other's already abused lips, before taking it's place against Riku's own, a battle of dominance that neither would win or lose began slowly, need still filling Sora and slowly working itself back up in Riku.
As Riku's senses returned to him he could feel the need to push the smaller boy away from him welling up inside him once again. He had to find a way to stop this, stop it now before every thing was taken just that one step further. Riku knew that once they took it there, they could never go back. They had to stop, they had to talk about this. They had to talk about this now before it actually happened, before it was too late to go back and change things. They had made that mistake once, and it had almost ruined Riku, and by the looks of it, it had ruined Sora, or at least his out look on what love was. Somehow in Sora's mind, love now meant sex, making the person who you loved and was supposed to love you back happy through the act of sex.
Sora on the other hand was so sure, so completely sure that what he was doing was right he couldn't have stopped no matter how much Riku begged him. He knew that no amount of talking, no amount of spoken words could ever change what was between them. Nothing could ever change the true feelings that lay between them. Sora knew, deep in his heart he knew, that sex, the act of it, the feelings behind were special. He knew it was wrong to try and use it to convey his feelings to Riku, or more over to use it to try and convince Riku that the feelings he had been denying himself were real, that they weren't going away. They were right in front of him, in the form of the small brunette who was willing to give his heart and soul to just be noticed.
"Sora." Riku breathed once the younger boy had released him from the kiss once again, and he couldn't help but hold back a moan as lips once again attacked the already marked skin of his neck. "Sora, please, stop."
"Why are you lying to yourself Riku?" Came the whispered reply. "I know this is what you really want."
"You have no idea what I really want Sora. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this." Even as the lips attached to his neck pulled away, Riku closed his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand the look of hurt and confusion that was sure to be plastered on the younger boys face.
"No, you're wrong Riku. I know exactly what you want." Sora breathed in deeply, once more trying to calm himself, he was getting tired of trying to convince Riku that this was right. "Look at me."
"Sora." It had been more of a command than a request, and Riku realized that fully when a hand was placed on his chin, thumb and forefinger digging into the thin skin covering his jaw, and his face was turned roughly, forcing him to wince before opening his eyes.
"This," Sora placed his hand over his heart even as he saw the pained look on Riku's face, in his beautiful green eyes. "This is what you want."
"Yes." Riku whispered as he closed his eyes once again. The sight of Sora standing in front of him, face flushed, lips swollen, eyes clouded with lust was too much for him to take. The very sight of, the very thought of it, make his heart ache. "Yes."
"You already have that Riku. Don't you know?" Sora asked, sounding more sincere than he ever had. This was his time, this was his moment to try and convince the person that he loved more than anything else in this world, the person that meant more to him than anything else in the world, that they, the idea of them, was right. This was his time, his one time to plea for the love and affection of the other man. "You always have."
"Oh Sora." Riku sighed, opening his eyes once again, only to close them tightly at the sight of the hope that filled Sora's bright blue eyes. He loved him, he really did love Sora. But this, this was wrong, wasn't it?
Unable to find the answer to his own question, even deep down the in the recesses of darkness that he usually hid in, Riku leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sora's. He felt the younger boy sigh into the kiss, even as his thin arms came around his neck, pulling him closer. He realized at that moment that he was standing there, top forgotten, pants and boxers around his ankles, and Sora was standing there fully dressed, his shirt and pants acting as a barrier to the prize that lay underneath.
Sora could feel Riku's hands as they traveled down his back before grasping the hem of his shirt and tugging. Ecstatic that Riku was finally actually taking some sort of initiative to make this happen, Sora broke the kiss as the shirt was raised over his head and pulled from his body. His nipples already stood erect, a foreshadowing tale of the other organ that was standing erect and ready as well. Sora could feel the cool air as it hit his body before being once again pulled against Riku's warm one. The feel of skin on skin, finally being able to feel Riku against him made Sora feel dizzy, even as the skilled mouth crashed into his once again.
"Riku." Sora moaned as Riku's lips ghosted over the smooth, unmarked skin of his neck, sucking and biting along the way, marking the younger boy as his own much as he had been marked.
It still felt wrong, so wrong, but yet, some how, Riku knew this was the right thing. If even after everything he had put Sora through, after everything he had put himself through, they were still able to come together like this then they must belong together, they just had to. Riku marveled at the way his broad chest fit against Sora's smaller one, their frames melting and melding together seamlessly. His hands wandered over the smooth skin of Sora's lower stomach even as he felt the younger boy shudder under his touches. The button on Sora's jeans was quickly undone and the zipper quickly pulled down. Hooking his thumbs under the waist bands of both Sora's jeans and boxers, he tugged, much as Sora had to his.
The material slid over the pale, milky skin of Sora's thighs, and Riku couldn't fight the need to run his hands over the exposed flesh. Falling to his knees he carefully picked up Sora's right foot and slide the imposing sneaker that had once covered it off, followed by the left, allowing him to pull the offending garments off his lover. Once the job was done, he nuzzled the warm skin of the muscle thigh in front of him, blatantly disregarding the hard erection that stood in front of him, weeping and begging for his attention. Standing, he bent over and pulled his own pants and boxers off, along with the thick socks he wore in the place of shoes or slippers.
Sora smiled as Riku pressed into him once again, pressing not only their lips together but their erections as well. Sora moaned as Riku's now hard cock pressed against his weeping one. He had, purposefully, denied himself any sort of pleasure up until this point, and now as the sensations filled his senses he could feel his head spinning. He was here, he was here with Riku, and they were going to have sex. No, he corrected himself, sex was something you had with someone that meant nothing to you, the act itself was meaningless. What he and Riku had, what they did, was make love. He ground his hips against the taller boys, trying to create that delicious friction that would send him spiraling over the edge.
Riku smiled as he felt Sora pressed into him. Wrapping his hands around the smaller boy, he ran his hands down over his ass, earning a loud moan from Sora. Smirking, Riku placed his hands on the back of Sora's thighs and lifted, smirking once more when Sora wrapped his legs around his waist. Moving slowly with the weight added by Sora, he walked towards the bed, intent on depositing his load on it. Reaching his destination he let go on Sora, letting him drop gently on the bed, only to be pulled down on top of him, the two struggling to move against each other even as Sora tried to scoot up so he was fully on the bed instead of half on, half off.
Sora's face twisted in a smirk of his own as he saw Riku reach out a hand, desperately trying to reach the bedside table the tube of lubricate that rested in the drawer. Seeing his chance, Sora grasped Riku's strong shoulder in his hands, and pushed, using the momentum to roll Riku over so he was laying on his back, even as Sora moved to straddle him. The look of surprise on Riku's face was priceless. Sora knew he was so used to being dominant, not only with Sora, but in almost everything in his life. Actually being dominant, or the sub dominant one in this case, was new to Riku.
"You didn't think I'd let you have all the fun did you?" Sora asked slyly, even as he reached out a hand for the bedside table. The drawer slid open with a small squeak and Sora's nimble fingers found what they were looking for easily.
Riku could feel the blush as it creeped out onto his face and chest. This was not happening. There was no way in hell, no way in this world or the next, that Sora was going to fuck him. No one was ever going to stick their dick in his ass. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself and rethought his previous statement. Okay, so maybe Sora sticking his dick in his ass wouldn't be so bad, but it definitely was not how he had pictured this happening. The positively evil smirk that was currently plastered on Sora's face didn't exactly help his feelings on the subject either.
It wasn't until Sora opened the tube and poured the clear, shining liquid into his palm that the full realization actually hit Riku. Oh yes, this was really about to happen. It was, in his mind, an imperfect way to lose the virginity that he had held for so long, but it was also bittersweet. If he was going to do this anyone, it was Sora. He just always figured he would have been the one to iniate it. Or he at least would have been asked first. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for what was to come.
Instead of the cold, intruding fingers sliding past the cheeks of his ass and into the tight ring of muscles that laid in between them that he been expecting, he was greeted with the tightness of Sora's fisted hand as it spread the lubrication over his cock. The moan that slipped past his lips sounded more like a growl, even as his hips thrust up into Sora's hand. He whined at the loss of contact as Sora removed his hand, shaking his head, not wanting this to be over too quickly.
Sora knew what he was about to do would be painful, probably overly so, sliding himself onto Riku's hard length without any sort of preparation, but he had waited so long, had been dreaming about his for so long that the pain would hardly matter. It would simply be another sensation to try and commit to memory. Another memory of him and Riku that he would carry forever, inside of his heart, deep down would it could never be extracted by any opposing force.
Riku could hear the deep breath Sora took as he lowered himself onto his slick length, sliding down slowly until he was fully incased in the tight heat of Sora's body. It took all of Riku's will power to keep himself from thrusting up into the inviting warmth that surrounded him, but he could tell by the grimace on Sora's face that he was in pain. The look on the smaller's boy face was heart breaking, so determined even through the searing pain that was coursing through his body. Riku felt guilt over whelming him, knowing that he should have stopped the boy from deliberately hurting himself any further, whether it was physically or emotionally. He should have been more caring, he should have stopped before Sora even had a chance to carry out his plan. He needed careful preparation, not this rushed sense of urgency.
"Are you okay?" Riku asked as he saw the look of pain slowly vanishing from the younger boys face.
"I'm perfect." Sora whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Riku's, the movement of his body created a pleasurable friction to pass between the two of them.
Rising slowly, Sora placed his hands on Riku's chest and began to move, using his bent knees to bounce himself up and down, allowing Riku's cock to slide out of him, until only the head remained buried in the heated confines of his body, before impaling himself once again. Sora repeated this movement a handful of times, each time coming back down at a slightly different angle, searching for that prized spot inside of him that would make the world come crashing down around him.
Riku's hands had found their way to Sora's slim hips, even as his movements became more frantic. He moaned as Sora came crashing down, fully impaling himself, even as the tip of Riku's cock brushed against his prostate, making him shiver. Riku could see by the boys reaction that he found the much sought after spot, and feeling an air of cockiness thrust his hips up to meet Sora's next thrust, hitting the spot directly and powerfully. He was rewarded by Sora moaning his name loudly, even as the short blunt nails of his fingers dug into the slick skin of his chest, holding on for dear life as the sensations over took his senses.
Sora's movements slowed to a mere rocking of his hips, even as Riku continued to thrust into him, rubbing against the spot inside of him continually, the pain he had once felt a now long forgotten memory. He knew he wasn't going to last long, that this, this over whelming sense of pleasure and togetherness wasn't going to last. He had left himself, his own needs neglected for far too long. He could feel the tightening in his lower stomach even as Riku's handed wrapped around his weeping length, thumb running over the slit even as his long, slender fingers played over the underside. How could he possibly last when Riku was buried inside of him, hitting that spot over and over again, even as his fingers played over his engorged cock.
Riku knew Sora was close, and was ready and willing to do everything in his power to bring him to completion. It no longer matter how much pleasure he was currently receiving, the only thing in the world that matter was Sora. The voice that was currently moaning his name in that tone, so smooth and sweet, almost like honey, was enough to drive him over the edge. Sora's eyes, those deep ocean blue eyes, were screwed shut, even as he gave into the pleasure fully and spilled his release over Riku's hand, dripping down to land in the puddle on his stomach.
Sora felt as if he were dying, the dual pleasures proving to much for him. He gasped in air and felt as if his lungs were closing, folding in upon themselves even as the oxygen left his brain, leaving only pleasure behind. If he were dying, then he would go happily. Never had he imagined anything like what he was now experiencing. There were no words to describe the way he felt in that moment, no way he could ever form into words the love and devotion he felt in that moment.
Riku sighed even as the Sora came crashing down on him, brown spikes falling into his face as Sora's face was buried in his neck. His hands, still on Sora's hips, moved to run up and down the exhausted boys spine, comforting him in the only way he knew how. He was still buried in the tight confines of the other's body, his own erection now painfully hard, begging for it's own release. But this, Riku knew, this was what love was. Putting the other's need above your own. Doing what ever it took to keep the other safe, and whole, and most importantly, happy.
Sora pressed his lips to Riku's neck earning a moan from the older boy. His smirk as returned, even as he lifted himself off the heated chest he was currently resting on. He could feel fatigue plaguing every part of his body, but he knew, no matter how much he wanted to, that he couldn't rest yet. Riku's needs were still present and unaccounted for. Slowly rolling his hips, he heard the other boy moan even as his hands came to rest once more on his already bruised hips, fingernails creating half moon indentations where they had dug into skin.
Riku closed his eyes even as his body shuddered with his impending orgasm. He was close, so close, all it would take was a few more rolls of Sora's hips and he was going to explode for the second time that night. Bright lights were playing behind his tightly closed eye lids, as he focused on the sensations flooding his body and his mind. His hips thrusting into Sora uncontrollably, desperately searching for release inside the got cavern of the others body.
Sora felt Riku explode inside of him, his creamy, white essence filling him completely. Riku's head was thrown back in pleasure, exposing the long line of his throat, tempting Sora to lean down and lick his adams apple as his hips continued to roll, helping the silver haired boy under him to ride out his orgasm. That voice, husky and thick with lust and satisfaction moaned his name. This was perfection Sora thought. The two of them together, fulfilling each others need in every way shape and form.
Riku felt Sora as he fell limply against him once more, the pleasure still coursing through both of their veins. Never in his life had he ever come so powerfully, or so quickly for that matter. Only with Sora, only ever with Sora, could he have experienced something so powerful, so beautiful in it's own way. This was, in it's one way, what was right, and in that moment he wondered how he could ever have doubting that this, being together like this, was ever, could ever, be anything but right.
"Sora?" Riku asked quietly as the brunette buried his head in the crock of his neck, he was shaking slightly, and for a second Riku thought that younger of the two was crying.
"I'm alright." Sora whispered in his ear, even as he slid himself off Riku, the now spent member sliding out of his leaking ass. Laying on his side, head resting on Riku's chest, Sora smiled. "I'm perfect."
"We still need to talk about this." Riku stated the obvious. This, what they had done, didn't change anything, or much of anything. It simply confirmed that Sora had been right. There was a certain level of affection between the two of them. It didn't, however, answer any of the many questions that the two of them had, both for themselves and for each other.
"I know." Sora sighed, sounding tired after their earlier activities. This was where Riku told him that this had all once again been a mistake and kicked him out of his bed, out of his house. He braced himself, waiting for the insults to start coming, to start flowing out of Riku's mouth to fall on his ears. Waiting for the hands to push and shove at him, wanting only to get him as far away as humanly possible as fast as he could.
Instead he was encased in the warmth of the descarded sheet and comforter being pulled over his still heated skin and the lamp that sat on the side table being switched off, shrouding the boys in darkness. He could feel the feather light kiss that was pressed to the top of his head with a deep sigh.
"Tomorrow." Riku breathed as his arms wrapped tighter around the boy. "We're going to talk about this tomorrow Sora. All of it."
"Tomorrow." Sora repeated. There was going to be a tomorrow. A tomorrow spent with Riku. It didn't matter if it was going to be filled with them talking and hashing out their problems, their different and slightly disjointed views on whatever it was that was between them. It didn't matter. He had won.
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Words and actions, your words and actions, they speak of such different thoughts and feelings. Your words are so harsh and uncaring, so unforgiving of the mistakes both of us have made. So willing to go back into the darkness that I worked so hard to bring you out of. But your actions, they tell an entirely different story. They're gentle and caring, and speak of things to come, of a future that the two of us will share. Where there will only be us and the light that comes from love.
I'm willing to spend the rest of my life in darkness if that's what it takes to be with you. If that's what it takes to be by your side then I am willing to sell my soul, my heart, to the darkness and give into it fully. You are my life, the only thing that makes life worth living. You're my everything, and I am willing to sacrifice anything and everything to be with you, to make you realize that. You are everything that means anything and you're everything that means nothing at all.
The light, the light that I have spent my entire life living in and fighting for, means nothing when I compare it to you. I want to save you, I want to take you from darkness into the light. But you are, you are the darkness. I am the light and you are the darkness. Together, together we make perfect harmony. Maybe, oh just maybe, the light doesn't always have to win. Maybe darkness has it's place in the world too, no matter how many times, no many how much we're been taught, the darkness can't be all bad when it is capable of producing such beauty.
Maybe I've been fighting for the wrong side all along.
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Ending Author's Notes: So this is dark, slightly twisted, and makes little to no sense most of the time, not even to me. The beginning is in first person, from Sora's perspective. The very ending is also first person, from Sora's perspective, and everything in between is third person.
Sora is, well, the only way I can explain it is slightly messed up in the head here. He knows what's right and he knows what's wrong, but he can't exactly see it because all he wants to do is make Riku see that they belong together. That's the idea I had and that's what I wanted to convey. I'm not sure if I did it or not, because half of the way through I stopped being able to justify some of Sora's actions myself.
Riku is cold, and meant to be that way. I think I made him give in way to easily, but really, I could have spent most of this with him not wanting to give in, and then it would have turned into something I didn't want it to be. So Riku gave in, and enjoyed it.
The ending is, well, the end. I wanted to have it be like the beginning, except this time Sora realizing that maybe he didn't have to change Riku completely, hence brining him into the light.
I actually really love this. It's probably the best thing I'll ever write, or at least I think so. I poured myself into this, and seriously, as any of the people who have talked to me recently, I think my brain melted. I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you have gotten through all of it, long author notes and all, I'll give you little Riku and Sora shaped cookies. No lie.