Application: Sansa Stark, A Song of Ice and Fire
A beautiful girl dressed in a modest medieval gown appears in the Sorting Room. She looks around briefly, clearly surprised and disoriented, then takes a seat to fill out an application, carefully minding her sleeves so they don't get smudged with ink.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
White cheese? I didn't know they had names. I suppose I like white cheese because... blue and green smell horrible.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Those are strange names, who are they? I wouldn't... Why should I kill either one? They're nothing to me.
3. What time is it where you are?
Just after breakfast, midmorning. I was going to the sept. Lord Robert hates it and won't go there, which gives me some peace. I don't know where I am though.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Who? What? I'm married. Or betrothed, I suppose, whichever pleases you better.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bastard girl I might be for now, but barmaid I am not. Not yet. Still, I have poured wine during my father's Petyr's Lord Baelish's meetings with the other Lords of the Vale, in the Eyrie and at the Gates of the Moon. Will either of those names do?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry? Do you mean Harrold Hardyng? I don't know this Fred or George and Harrold Hardyng is by way of being betrothed to me, I'm told... neither one is a Royce? If one was, that would tie the... please, why are you asking me? I don't know these things.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I have no head for paperwork, none at all, truly. You should talk to your steward.
...is there a fireplace near your desk?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can sing, play the high harp, and sew very well. I know my letters and all my heraldry. Oh, and with the rest of my family dead (except for Jon Snow who doesn't count), I'm the heir to Winterfell and the North. Not that that means anything really anymore.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I don't have a lot with me, but I suppose I'm willing to offer whatever I have. I'll sew, I'll play. I've got several stories about the Winged Knight memorized. I have gotten really much better at running a castle and managing things. And I suppose it's lucky I decided to wear some jewelry today.
I won't offer to sing, though, unless I have to. I have had my fill of songs.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
White cheese? I didn't know they had names. I suppose I like white cheese because... blue and green smell horrible.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Those are strange names, who are they? I wouldn't... Why should I kill either one? They're nothing to me.
3. What time is it where you are?
Just after breakfast, midmorning. I was going to the sept. Lord Robert hates it and won't go there, which gives me some peace. I don't know where I am though.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Who? What? I'm married. Or betrothed, I suppose, whichever pleases you better.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bastard girl I might be for now, but barmaid I am not. Not yet. Still, I have poured wine during my father's Petyr's Lord Baelish's meetings with the other Lords of the Vale, in the Eyrie and at the Gates of the Moon. Will either of those names do?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry? Do you mean Harrold Hardyng? I don't know this Fred or George and Harrold Hardyng is by way of being betrothed to me, I'm told... neither one is a Royce? If one was, that would tie the... please, why are you asking me? I don't know these things.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I have no head for paperwork, none at all, truly. You should talk to your steward.
...is there a fireplace near your desk?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can sing, play the high harp, and sew very well. I know my letters and all my heraldry. Oh, and with the rest of my family dead (except for Jon Snow who doesn't count), I'm the heir to Winterfell and the North. Not that that means anything really anymore.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I don't have a lot with me, but I suppose I'm willing to offer whatever I have. I'll sew, I'll play. I've got several stories about the Winged Knight memorized. I have gotten really much better at running a castle and managing things. And I suppose it's lucky I decided to wear some jewelry today.
I won't offer to sing, though, unless I have to. I have had my fill of songs.