Application: Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, "Pride and Prejudice"
A tall, dark gentleman with handsome features clad in the fashion of Georgian England appears in the Sorting Room. With an attitude of confusion tinged slightly with disdain, he sits stiffly and fills out the application.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Sage Derby. Well do I recall its appearance on table at the harvest festivals in Lambton village; it is a favored reminiscence of my boyhood.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I should prefer to kill neither, if it can be avoided. To do so would bring our family name into disrepute. However, should either besmirch the honor of my family or my beloved, I should have little choice in the matter.
3. What time is it where you are?
It was early evening at Rosings. I was taking a turn in the gardens while the others *winces* enjoyed my aunt's coffee and conversation. But I do not know where I am at present, nor how I came
to be here; neither have I any means of determining the time "where I am."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member
of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*stiffens spine* I beg your pardon. I was taught that for men of my station to "harass" is to invite the disgrace of both parties. Nor do I know aught of this "Order" of which you speak.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I have not much of cleverness or wit, as my...friend Miss Bennet would
no doubt assure you. However...'Books in the Ballroom.'
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*stiffens again* I know naught of this Harry, or of...Frederica. But Georgianna is not eligible for marriage. She has not yet debuted into
society, and as her brother I would not accede to any such unions in
either case, in view of her relative immaturity and past
misadventure. Frederica's guardians may perhaps be more lenient in their care of her associations.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Your mind has been wandering. Once sufficiently well organized, business affairs can be managed within a modest amount of time, if one will only pay them their due attention. ...But then I have had the benefit of my father's excellent arrangements for his estate, and his instruction in the management of them. I fear few have such examples to hold before them, or sense enough to adjudge their true worth.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I manage an extensive estate in Derbyshire, in which capacity I offer land to many tenant farmers who would otherwise be unable to provide for their families. I have the oversight of a grand manor, Pemberley, and mastery of its staff of servants, as well as a house in town. It is my occupation and duty to preserve the properties and estate to the benefit of my own heirs and those of my sister.
For my sister, I have served as her primary guardian in the stead of my
late father these five years. In regards to her I have the responsibility of vouchsafing her education, ensuring her entry into society as befits a gentlewoman of our family's rank, and protecting her virtue from...scoundrels, as well as nurturing her growth into adulthood even above and beyond what any older brother would do.
Furthermore, I have on occasion taken it upon myself to safeguard the
well-being of my closest acquaintances, should I judge it necessary.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I daresay if you're going to bring gentlemen into your purview without
regard to their own obligations and demand bribes of them, you might at
least tender a word of warning. As it is I have little other than my wits with which to bribe; only such few items as I habitually carry upon my person.
In the way of service, I read History both classical and modern at Cambridge, and therefore present myself as well qualified to assist you with such matters, should you require. I am an able horseman and
swordsman, with a particular training in fencing, and I am well versed
in hunting, fishing and shooting. As my present company has the advantage of me, I can but present myself as your servant in this regard. I would beg that you not prevail upon me to dance.
In conjunction with posting your character's application, you must include the following statement, replacing the blanks with your initials (or your Net handle, or your character's initials, or anyone's initials!) after each sentence to indicate that you have read our rules and agree to abide by them:
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy,
cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____FD_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and
every one of them. _____FD______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____FD______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______Oh, come now._FD_______"
((I have consulted with Lizzie Bennet-mun, who approved my applying as Darcy.))
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Sage Derby. Well do I recall its appearance on table at the harvest festivals in Lambton village; it is a favored reminiscence of my boyhood.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I should prefer to kill neither, if it can be avoided. To do so would bring our family name into disrepute. However, should either besmirch the honor of my family or my beloved, I should have little choice in the matter.
3. What time is it where you are?
It was early evening at Rosings. I was taking a turn in the gardens while the others *winces* enjoyed my aunt's coffee and conversation. But I do not know where I am at present, nor how I came
to be here; neither have I any means of determining the time "where I am."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member
of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*stiffens spine* I beg your pardon. I was taught that for men of my station to "harass" is to invite the disgrace of both parties. Nor do I know aught of this "Order" of which you speak.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I have not much of cleverness or wit, as my...friend Miss Bennet would
no doubt assure you. However...'Books in the Ballroom.'
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*stiffens again* I know naught of this Harry, or of...Frederica. But Georgianna is not eligible for marriage. She has not yet debuted into
society, and as her brother I would not accede to any such unions in
either case, in view of her relative immaturity and past
misadventure. Frederica's guardians may perhaps be more lenient in their care of her associations.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Your mind has been wandering. Once sufficiently well organized, business affairs can be managed within a modest amount of time, if one will only pay them their due attention. ...But then I have had the benefit of my father's excellent arrangements for his estate, and his instruction in the management of them. I fear few have such examples to hold before them, or sense enough to adjudge their true worth.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I manage an extensive estate in Derbyshire, in which capacity I offer land to many tenant farmers who would otherwise be unable to provide for their families. I have the oversight of a grand manor, Pemberley, and mastery of its staff of servants, as well as a house in town. It is my occupation and duty to preserve the properties and estate to the benefit of my own heirs and those of my sister.
For my sister, I have served as her primary guardian in the stead of my
late father these five years. In regards to her I have the responsibility of vouchsafing her education, ensuring her entry into society as befits a gentlewoman of our family's rank, and protecting her virtue from...scoundrels, as well as nurturing her growth into adulthood even above and beyond what any older brother would do.
Furthermore, I have on occasion taken it upon myself to safeguard the
well-being of my closest acquaintances, should I judge it necessary.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I daresay if you're going to bring gentlemen into your purview without
regard to their own obligations and demand bribes of them, you might at
least tender a word of warning. As it is I have little other than my wits with which to bribe; only such few items as I habitually carry upon my person.
In the way of service, I read History both classical and modern at Cambridge, and therefore present myself as well qualified to assist you with such matters, should you require. I am an able horseman and
swordsman, with a particular training in fencing, and I am well versed
in hunting, fishing and shooting. As my present company has the advantage of me, I can but present myself as your servant in this regard. I would beg that you not prevail upon me to dance.
In conjunction with posting your character's application, you must include the following statement, replacing the blanks with your initials (or your Net handle, or your character's initials, or anyone's initials!) after each sentence to indicate that you have read our rules and agree to abide by them:
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy,
cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____FD_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and
every one of them. _____FD______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____FD______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______Oh, come now._FD_______"
((I have consulted with Lizzie Bennet-mun, who approved my applying as Darcy.))