Skip Wiley (Tourist Season, by Carl Hiaasen)

[flameofdecember]

Skip drops into a chair out of nowhere. He glances with some puzzlement at the hole in his jeans, but appears to decide it's not important. Having nothing better to do, he readies himself to answer the questions put to him.

Comments

[brenda_johnson]

aaa-HEM. Who's Brian, why's he got a gun an' what are you doin' with it exactly?

[flameofdecember]

Brian's a friend of mine - he quit the newspaper business a while ago and became a private eye. Why he's got a gun is a long story, but the short version is that he was bodyguarding a young lady who was the centerpiece of the Orange Bowl Parade.

I really don't know how the gun got in my pocket, though.

[brenda_johnson]

Ah, I see. Well. While I assume Brian the private eye is licensed to carry an' trained t'use a firearm, I also assume you aren't, on either count.

I, however, am. On both counts. Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson, LAPD. On hiatus I guess. Perhaps I'd better jes' take that gun off your hands for safekeepin'? I'll be glad t'give you a vote...so long as you're nicely unarmed. *smiles* Any idea where you'd like to stay?

[flameofdecember]

Pleased to meet you, officer. No, I don't believe I do have a license for this... although I can't think of what to do with it now other than give it away.

From what I've heard, I think Slytherin suits me best.

[estebanmd]

The Miami Sun was a sort of broadsheet or journal, then?

[flameofdecember]

A newspaper, yeah. I was an editorial columnist there.

[estebanmd]

Ah. What sorts of material did you write about?

[flameofdecember]

Mostly how messed up the world was getting, especially Florida. I believe that the psychiatrist said he could tell I was insane starting around the hurricane column.

[blue_ataru]

"I don't think the shampoo would do me any good." Aayla motioned to her lekku and smiled. "What's a Mako?"

[flameofdecember]

*Skip stares.* No, I don't think it would...

*Coughs nervously* A Mako's a type of motorboat. *Glances out the window* Which appears to have ended up on the edge of the lake out there.

[blue_ataru]

She looked outside and grinned. Primitive, but not bad. "Nice boat. Would you mind giving me a ride in it at some point? I'll vote you into a House regardless of your answer, but it looks like it could be fun as long as the weather stays hospitable."

[flameofdecember]

Uh, sure.

From what I've heard, Slytherin seems to fit me best, although I wouldn't actually mind Ravenclaw too much, and a couple people so far seem to have voted me into Gryffindor.

*Skip can't quite get over this. In his mind, there's only one thing Aayla can be. An alien! So they do exist!*

[ugly_old_hat]

Shampoo bottles, young man? That sounds most pleasing, but would you be willing to give me a full shampoo and deep-conditioning treatment? You'd be surprised how greasy some people's hair can be!

[flameofdecember]

*Skip is now rather disturbed. The alien was weird enough, but a talking hat?*
Sure, I can try. I'm afraid I don't know much about caring for hats, though.

[ugly_old_hat]

Hmph! What about the hat you have, young man? Don't you take proper care of it? Hats need plenty of love and affection and nurturing.

[flameofdecember]

Well, generally if I expect to be in a situation that would harm the hat, I'd leave the hat at home, and I do care for it, but the fact is that I haven't had much opportunity to practice taking care of such a unique hat as yourself.

*Skip is beginning to get nervous about how easily offended the hat is, and is attempting to avoid making it angrier. He thinks, This is beginning to feel like Alice in Wonderland.*

Slytherin!

[ugly_old_hat]

We'll have to make an appointment for that shampooing soon then!

Your bribe has been accepted! Welcome to Slytherin!

(( Sorry there's been a lag here. The Hat used to be played by only one person and is now played by all four mods - we haven't got the kinks worked out of the system, so to speak. Profoundest apologies, and welcome! ))