Jennyanydots, Cats
A middle-aged queen with tiger stripes and leopard spots enters the Sorting Hall. She looks surprised, but quickly settles down, and submits her (very neat) application.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Well, dearies, it tends to be whatever the humans have in. The mice in my house are all rather unhealthy, so I cook for them each night, and then teach them skills that will get them far in life. Such as lace tatting.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*looks horrified* Unless either is an agent of Macavity, I don’t think that’s the type of question you should be asking.
3. What time is it where you are?
Nine o’clock. Time enough for the cockroaches’ dance lessons, but they’ve promised me they’ll work on their singular routines until I return.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*looks mischevious* If any young kits are reading this, I urge you to look away, but--to hell with this Order, I happen to know Skimbleshanks is here. Pity about no Bustopher.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I was never a barmaid, duckies. Many things, but never a barmaid.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Perhaps Harry should stop hero-worshipping these two and find a nice queen or tom with which they share similar interests.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It was quite possibly Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. I swear, those two will be the death of me one day.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I’d wager that you need someone to darn, or cook, or tat, or to teach a dancing class around here? I just ask that I am not disturbed a lot during the day.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
*looks distinctly disapproving* Well, I don’t particularly hold with that kind of thing, but I suppose I could bake you up a mouse-cake, or perhaps even comfort those who need a shoulder to cry on...dear me, my bribes are not worth much.
The cat brings out a thermos flask, filled with tea, specially adapted. She pours herself a small capful and settles back, sipping.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____J_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ______J_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my drawers in a bunch. _____J______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______J_______"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Well, dearies, it tends to be whatever the humans have in. The mice in my house are all rather unhealthy, so I cook for them each night, and then teach them skills that will get them far in life. Such as lace tatting.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*looks horrified* Unless either is an agent of Macavity, I don’t think that’s the type of question you should be asking.
3. What time is it where you are?
Nine o’clock. Time enough for the cockroaches’ dance lessons, but they’ve promised me they’ll work on their singular routines until I return.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*looks mischevious* If any young kits are reading this, I urge you to look away, but--to hell with this Order, I happen to know Skimbleshanks is here. Pity about no Bustopher.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I was never a barmaid, duckies. Many things, but never a barmaid.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Perhaps Harry should stop hero-worshipping these two and find a nice queen or tom with which they share similar interests.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It was quite possibly Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. I swear, those two will be the death of me one day.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I’d wager that you need someone to darn, or cook, or tat, or to teach a dancing class around here? I just ask that I am not disturbed a lot during the day.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
*looks distinctly disapproving* Well, I don’t particularly hold with that kind of thing, but I suppose I could bake you up a mouse-cake, or perhaps even comfort those who need a shoulder to cry on...dear me, my bribes are not worth much.
The cat brings out a thermos flask, filled with tea, specially adapted. She pours herself a small capful and settles back, sipping.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____J_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ______J_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my drawers in a bunch. _____J______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______J_______"