Pharaun Mizzrym, War of the Spider Queen
*Pharaun strides confidently into the Sorting Room, arching an eyebrow as he takes in the room and its various occupants. Extremely various. He glances around the room with the expression of one who's seen better, but isn't necessarily going to take offense to his surroundings.*
Ah, hello. This would appear to be the place.
*Casting a quizzical look at the nearest chair, he decides not to risk it. Remaining standing, he pulls out the parchment that his application is written on and looks over it before handing it in.*
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
What a strange question. Ah, well. Of the cheeses you'd actually recognize, I find I generally prefer Camembert. I could go into why, but there isn't enough room on this application.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Not being accquainted firsthand with the "gentlemen" in question, but having heard some rather disturbing details about this "Barney" creature, I'm afraid that one would have to go first.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time for me to remember that hourglasses don't work if you carry them in your pocket, apparently.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I find it demeaning and, anyway, I don't even know who any of these people are.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
A bartender? Me? Hah! That's an interesting joke. Oh, you're serious. In that case, I think that the Cul-de-Sac is a fairly decent name. It's refined, philosophical, and ... *Here it appears that Pharaun didn't notice that he had gone on writing after the paper ended.*
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Who are you people and why do you keep asking these moronic questions?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Have you considered perhaps watching in case someone is putting paperwork onto your desk? I realize that this is a radical concept, but you may find that it answers your question. By the way, if it's that much of a problem, I'd recommend getting a bigger desk.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Why of all the *Pharaun appears to have gotten angry enough to forget how to write in English. The writing shifts to Undercommon, which is written in Elven runes in any case, and seems to have been cut off at the edge of the paper again. Any method of translating the writing would immediately censor most of it.*
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Well here are a few scrolls I purchased from a merchant some while back. I honestly don't know what possessed me to buy them, since they are all spells I have inscribed in my spellbook already.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. PM What on earth does that mean?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. PM
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. PM I'd put it a little less bluntly, but...
One day, marmalade will rule the world. PM What?
(OOC: Pharaun has written in italics.)
Ah, hello. This would appear to be the place.
*Casting a quizzical look at the nearest chair, he decides not to risk it. Remaining standing, he pulls out the parchment that his application is written on and looks over it before handing it in.*
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
What a strange question. Ah, well. Of the cheeses you'd actually recognize, I find I generally prefer Camembert. I could go into why, but there isn't enough room on this application.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Not being accquainted firsthand with the "gentlemen" in question, but having heard some rather disturbing details about this "Barney" creature, I'm afraid that one would have to go first.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time for me to remember that hourglasses don't work if you carry them in your pocket, apparently.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I find it demeaning and, anyway, I don't even know who any of these people are.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
A bartender? Me? Hah! That's an interesting joke. Oh, you're serious. In that case, I think that the Cul-de-Sac is a fairly decent name. It's refined, philosophical, and ... *Here it appears that Pharaun didn't notice that he had gone on writing after the paper ended.*
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Who are you people and why do you keep asking these moronic questions?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Have you considered perhaps watching in case someone is putting paperwork onto your desk? I realize that this is a radical concept, but you may find that it answers your question. By the way, if it's that much of a problem, I'd recommend getting a bigger desk.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Why of all the *Pharaun appears to have gotten angry enough to forget how to write in English. The writing shifts to Undercommon, which is written in Elven runes in any case, and seems to have been cut off at the edge of the paper again. Any method of translating the writing would immediately censor most of it.*
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Well here are a few scrolls I purchased from a merchant some while back. I honestly don't know what possessed me to buy them, since they are all spells I have inscribed in my spellbook already.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. PM What on earth does that mean?
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. PM
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. PM I'd put it a little less bluntly, but...
One day, marmalade will rule the world. PM What?
(OOC: Pharaun has written in italics.)