Closed RP: Stephen and Sarah, post-Ravenclaw party

[nopower_overme]

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[nopower_overme]

Sarah remembered quit a bit of what had been said, but was stubbornly refusing to let those things that had jarred the most have affect, ashamed at herself for having brought up past hurts and still certain he would look back on some of the things he had said and have a different opinion than he had last night, the opinion he normally had. She was all too happy to fall into the normalcy of this exchange after last night.

"I think you give me too much credit for knowing things about you," she said, rising from the side of the tub, realizing belatedly she had inadvertently referenced the conversation that had started everything last night. She smiled anyway, hoping perhaps he would just ignore it.

[estebanmd]

"On the contrary, I think I give you well-deserved credit," he began, then looked at her sharply, the effect lessened by eyes still sleepy despite the morning's coffee.

"Neither of us has forgotten much at all, I think." He stepped over the tub's edge and drew the curtain. Water pattered against the floor and against his now-concealed body. "I do not recall whether you are much of a Latinist," came his voice over the sound of the shower, "but you may know the saying: in vino, veritas."

[nopower_overme]

While mentioning last night had detracted from the game of listening to the water hit him and imagining such a thing before she gave up and gave into the temptation stick her arm inside the shower, it was what he said last that made her stop. She blinked at the closed curtain, confused for a moment before her eyes widened. She had truly thought until that comment that sobriety would bring some change of thought in some of what he had said. Now she found herself momentarily unsure despite her stubbornness.

"I do," she said, voice only likely just reaching him over the fall of water.

[estebanmd]

"I have found, in general, it is not an untrue saying. What do you think?" A curiously conversational tone, as though the discussion were merely academic.

[nopower_overme]

Sarah did not even wait for the bath to finish filling before sliding in, using the sound of running water to disguise a heaving sigh before she ducked her face into the water. She had to believe that the only think that mattered was she had believed in the force of his protectiveness then, whoever it was, and that he still had it now - or, in lack of that belief, try to cling to the delusion that pain had made what he said come out wrong, that regret and guilt were more powerful forces drunk than sober. Or she could just feel pathetic about washing her face far longer than necessary.

[estebanmd]

It was a few minutes before Stephen reappeared, now dressed in his standard worn jeans and one of the strange T-shirts he had picked up at the wizarding equivalent of a thrift store ("they are all still serviceable"). He leaned against the frame of the bathroom doorway and said nothing, but watched Sarah with an inscrutable expression.

[nopower_overme]

Peering over the edge of the washcloth in her hands, Sarah said nothing as well, simply noted the expression and then ducked her head completely under the water. When she emerged a moment later, she pushed her hair back and reached for the shampoo, then looked at him again as she turned off the water, never very good herself at expressions that were impossible to decipher.

"Unless you prefer standing in the doorway, you might as well come sit," she said, pointing to the edge of the tub before working the shampoo into her hair. Despite how she felt and despite having had to mask a betraying wetness in her eyes with the cover of water, she had no more desire to have him out of the room than she did in distancing herself when she had the ability to walk out of the room.

[estebanmd]

"If I sit I shall get wet again, which rather defeats the purpose of having dressed," he pointed out, not unkindly. He did come in, though, and leaned against the counter, facing the tub and Sarah.

[nopower_overme]

"I'm sorry there wasn't a way," Sarah said softly, eyes still on him in the mirror as one hand moved idly through the water. Of course, sorry did nothing for this, just as wanting it all did nothing. She did not begrudge him one bit the desire to want it all and never had, she had only feared that all he said meant he would be willing to give her up. She tried not to give what he said last any weight as a real choice, yet part of her did want to hear exactly that despite her determination to never do anything to negate River. She might hate herself for that feeling and might fight it as what she wanted, but she could not deny it was there in all its ugliness. All she had wanted to know out of this mess of revelations was that she still mattered enough to be part of the was he wished things different, as ridiculous as it was to doubt such a thing now

[estebanmd]

Stephen barked a bitter laugh, unable to keep it back. "Touch is always the problem, is it not? I could only keep myself from touching you for so long." He had managed it once, in his office, when she had visited at his (anonymous but hardly veiled) invitation. He could not manage it a second time. They had ended up in disarray on the office floor, and thereafter a frenzied correspondence had begun by house-elf and raven and whatever other creature they could find to carry messages that was not an owl

[nopower_overme]

Despite the water, Sarah did hear what he said and sighed internally. That had not been what she meant, she had meant she needed to comfort any way she could with touch rather than just sit helplessly. Touch no longer had the power to leave them buried under the memory selves, but it had just as much power and really did amount to the same thing in the end, whether the touch was meant for comfort or while in a state of content or to rouse desire.

Water off, she wrung out her hair and turned sharply as he spoke, going immediately to the side of the tub. "Oh, Stephen, of course I know that," she said, leaning over the edge, "none of what I said this morning was because I thought you don't." A short time of fear of several things but never a doubt that he did not love her. "I know and I won't forget."

[estebanmd]

"Good." He did turn back to her, then, and bent over the tub to kiss her forehead. "Remember it. I am going for a walk now, I think. Send the elf if you need me, love." He needed air and sunlight, and perhaps he needed to be alone for a bit.