application for the Porncow (OC squibbait)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Laughing Cow mini Babybel cheeses. I am a laughing cow! Also, after you eat them, you can play with the wax rind. Mmm, sticky.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Kill them? Why would I kill them when I could slash them with each other?
"Barney wallowed in the tar pit. 'Where is my dashing hero? Help, I will surely drown!' Just then, a man with flowing auburn tresses appeared. It was Carrottop the Barbarian! His mighty thews swelled with manly compassion for the imperiled Barney. He reached into his prop case and ..."
Quick, where's my beta?!
3. What time is it where you are?
Time to think about hot men and their sweet, sweet love for one another. Or to update my profile in the Pit of Voles, maybe. FEEDBACK IS LOVE
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I'd rather see Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black sexually harass each other. The name 'albus' means white, and the name 'Black' obviously means black, so in the names of the two we find a mystical alchemical symbolism that clearly shows us this is the one true pairing!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Weeping Cock. The sign will have a picture of Chaunticleer, with a lone teardrop depending from his beady eye.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Hello! That's an unsolvable dilemma, and in that kind of situation, the solution is ALWAYS an OT3.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You're not a big-name fan and you haven't plagiarized enough people to win a free laptop yet, so you're stuck with looseleaf!
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can make a grown man cry.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I won't threaten anyone! I really want to be here. Where else is there such a skewed demographic of young male students proportional to any females? I mean, this is better than Alaska!
*is drooooling*
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. porncow
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. porncow
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. porncow
One day, marmalade will rule the world. porncow"
(( Credit goes to Siri, of course, whose brainchild PORNCOWS were. ))