Application for Miss Swan from MadTV
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Yeah, OK, I tell you my favorite cheese, I tell you everyTING.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Oh, I know Barney, he the purple dinosaur, sing song for the kids, “I love you.” No, yeah, OK.
3. What time is it where you are?
Yeah, what time is it.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Yeah, OK, I tell you. I choose the one who look like a man.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Bar Salon
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Yeah, OK, Fred or George. The one who look like a man. He like a little monkey in a bush.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
He a tricky dicky.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Yeah, OK. Miss Swan foxy lady. Oooooooooh, you like dat.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I give you everyTING. Maybe two dollar thirteen cent. Or manicure. *unfolds one of the sides of the flap on her plaid dress jumper thing* Maybe crazy dirty talk phone sex...Mister Horny!
((Anyone interested in seeing Miss Swan in action can check out some of her videos here.))