Application for Jason "JD" Dean, Heathers
Covered in blood and bruises, wearing ragged clothes, JD shambles into the Great Hall. He wipes streaks of blood off his face with a crudely bandaged hand that appears to be missing a middle finger and grins broadly, holding his arms wide.
"Greetings and salutations!"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"CHEESE? Ehh. I dunno. Kinna like the cheese that comes on the nachos you get at the Snappy Snack Shack. Nice and greasy, goes down hard in the stomach. Gastrointestinal weapon of mass destruction. My kinda stuff."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"FIRST?" (just laughs wildly for a few seconds, throws his hands up in the air.) "Un-fucking-believeable."
"S'pose I'd start off with that purple fuck, you know he's diddling kids on the side."
3. What time is it where you are?
(He looks down at the remains of the explosive device crudely strapped to his chest, bangs on the timing device, which has a blank, cracked LED screen hanging from it from a few charred wires.) "Shit. My clock stopped!"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"The hell you talking about? This some kinda -gay- thing? Whatever floats yer boat. Just another reflection on the pathetic state of our so-called 'society'. Obsessed with sex and death, who's fucking who, bulimics and alcoholics binging and purging all over each other. Get to the real fucking issues! The fact that the whole fuckin' human race is BROKEN and nobody GIVES a shit!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Catcher in the Rye". See, it's good 'cause it's got booze in it an' it's also a pretentious literary reference. I win the prize?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
"Bribe, huh?" (rubs his chin) "Now we're talkin'. Ya got enemies? I got solutions. A better world for all of us by killin' the assholes. I'll help ya make it look like a suicide." (He laughs softly here, amused.) "C'mon, you guys wanna get out of here? School sucks. Parade of lunatics and social climbing jackals. Let's go get a cherry slushy."
((OOC: Stuck in jury duty today- dunno if I can reply to responses immediately, but will do my best! I'm leeching off the courtroom's free intranet, ha ha! XD I COULD HAVE WAITED TO POST BUT THE CRACK COMPELS ME.))
"Greetings and salutations!"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"CHEESE? Ehh. I dunno. Kinna like the cheese that comes on the nachos you get at the Snappy Snack Shack. Nice and greasy, goes down hard in the stomach. Gastrointestinal weapon of mass destruction. My kinda stuff."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"FIRST?" (just laughs wildly for a few seconds, throws his hands up in the air.) "Un-fucking-believeable."
"S'pose I'd start off with that purple fuck, you know he's diddling kids on the side."
3. What time is it where you are?
(He looks down at the remains of the explosive device crudely strapped to his chest, bangs on the timing device, which has a blank, cracked LED screen hanging from it from a few charred wires.) "Shit. My clock stopped!"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"The hell you talking about? This some kinda -gay- thing? Whatever floats yer boat. Just another reflection on the pathetic state of our so-called 'society'. Obsessed with sex and death, who's fucking who, bulimics and alcoholics binging and purging all over each other. Get to the real fucking issues! The fact that the whole fuckin' human race is BROKEN and nobody GIVES a shit!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Catcher in the Rye". See, it's good 'cause it's got booze in it an' it's also a pretentious literary reference. I win the prize?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
"Bribe, huh?" (rubs his chin) "Now we're talkin'. Ya got enemies? I got solutions. A better world for all of us by killin' the assholes. I'll help ya make it look like a suicide." (He laughs softly here, amused.) "C'mon, you guys wanna get out of here? School sucks. Parade of lunatics and social climbing jackals. Let's go get a cherry slushy."
((OOC: Stuck in jury duty today- dunno if I can reply to responses immediately, but will do my best! I'm leeching off the courtroom's free intranet, ha ha! XD I COULD HAVE WAITED TO POST BUT THE CRACK COMPELS ME.))