(no subject)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Munster. I truly don't know why this hasn't been named yet. It's ideal at ensnaring rats.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Both of them are Muggles, thus they will be subjected to the usual Muggle fate. Offhand, I'd say Carrottop. Barney has his set of videos packed with subliminal messages and I have to respect that.
3. What time is it where you are?
The same time it is for you right now.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I would choose Godric's sword. You don't think he'd just let it rest within that hat, do you? He probably uses it as a letter opener and on those cold, lonely nights...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Due to those unfortunate child labor laws, I have never bartended. I have, however, mixed a great deal of drinks for Mrs. Cole.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Let's look at this logically, shall we? Fred is going out with Angelina. But what he doesn't know is that Angelina lost her virginity already to her broom. George knows this and won't tell Fred because he not only finds it amusing, he also can't wait for Fred to figure it out for himself. Meanwhile, George probably wouldn't mind having a go at Harry.
Would Harry's feelings matter in this? I don't see why they should.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Your desk is obviously a horcrux. The more energy you waste writing on the papers upon it and sitting at it, the closer it will come to achieving sentient status until it finally gains enough to live again. Do try not to destroy the desk as it might be one of my brothers.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Apart from gaining the Magical Merit award and the Special Services to the School award? I was top student at Hogwarts, managed to open up the Chamber of Secrets find the one who opened up the Chamber of Secrets and framed him captured him.
Aside from that, I've achieved absolute freedom from my father, influenced just about all of my teachers, mastered the art of making horcruxes, have learned Occlumency and Legilimancy. Need I really go on?
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I can mix just about any drink you so desire while conjuring up the necessary wines to do so. I can also get you a free ride on a basilisk. Also, I can give you all the promise of a very diligent student who will actually give the professors of this school the respect they deserve.