Bartleby, "Bartleby the Scrivener"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The cheese that comes in the packets of cheese crackers I get from the vending machine. I prefer not to eat anything else.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I would prefer not to kill either of them.
3. What time is it where you are?
Early, I think. It's light out. But nobody has come to open the office yet.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I would prefer not to sexually harass anyone.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I prefer not to do paperwork.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I worked 8 years in the U.S. Postal service, in the dead letter office...I can also file things.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I have a letter of recommendation...