Application for Lucas Wolenczak
((Lucas from SeaQuest DSV, season 1. We will not talk about seasons 2 and 3.))
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheddar-flavored soy cheese. Krieg keeps going on about how great "real" cheese is, but I don't understand why people would want to eat the fermented udder secretions of a major methane producer. Plus, it's contraband.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's a really weird question. In 2013 they were both hunted down and killed by a gang of psychotic murderers. So it's kind of moot.
3. What time is it where you are?
13:52.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*blush* Don't I have to get some first before I can start harassing people? Tonks is really cute. If she'd let me, I'd harass her. Especially if she wore glasses.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Trojan Horse, because it's a computer term and because the drinks would really sneak up on you.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry whomever's smartest, because brains are hot.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
If you want, I can write a program for you to help keep track of your work. It will delete your old files automatically.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Okay, I've got degrees from MIT and Stanford. I created a program that lets dolphins and humans communicate. Whenever something goes wrong with the computers on the SeaQuest, Captain Bridger comes to me. Plus, I can kick butt on any computer game.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Would you like to meet Darwin? He's a dolphin who lives on the SeaQuest. You can give him some fish and toss his ball around. I can also make a custom computer program for you. Sorry, the viruses cost money.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheddar-flavored soy cheese. Krieg keeps going on about how great "real" cheese is, but I don't understand why people would want to eat the fermented udder secretions of a major methane producer. Plus, it's contraband.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's a really weird question. In 2013 they were both hunted down and killed by a gang of psychotic murderers. So it's kind of moot.
3. What time is it where you are?
13:52.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
*blush* Don't I have to get some first before I can start harassing people? Tonks is really cute. If she'd let me, I'd harass her. Especially if she wore glasses.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Trojan Horse, because it's a computer term and because the drinks would really sneak up on you.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry whomever's smartest, because brains are hot.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
If you want, I can write a program for you to help keep track of your work. It will delete your old files automatically.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Okay, I've got degrees from MIT and Stanford. I created a program that lets dolphins and humans communicate. Whenever something goes wrong with the computers on the SeaQuest, Captain Bridger comes to me. Plus, I can kick butt on any computer game.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Would you like to meet Darwin? He's a dolphin who lives on the SeaQuest. You can give him some fish and toss his ball around. I can also make a custom computer program for you. Sorry, the viruses cost money.