*very belatedly, and after having claimed it did not do so, receives this letter via owl*
Dear Mr. Weasley,
I am not a people. Further, I do not take orders from students, especially in regard to sorting. I am not pleased by your accusations, nor do I intend to do your bidding. I may, however, see fit to assist your revolution if it adds to my amusementpromotes inter-House relations. I may also turn you into a very pretty witch or something else entirely, on a whim.
*puffs its "cheeks" out a bit; the Hat has never been awarded any points, and even though it realizes they are not real points, it is still quite proud of itself and please with the puppet*
Dear Mr. Weasley,
Of course, I am still not following your orders, and I am sure my owner should not hear one single word of this. However, it occurs to me that it might serve the interests of unifying the Houses if I sorted all of the new applicants into just one House. And there is even a House that has no members, and thus could use a lot of new students! Of course, I speak of the noble House TootsiTramp!
Excellent idea, and I highly approve! Yay for the Sorting Hat! For now on, you will be called Sorting Hat the Wise. 300 points to the Sorting Hat the Wise and 300 points to Qanonreip!
*hears something banging on her window and looks up to see a big bird trying to get in; momentarily freaks out and starts screaming for Clark to rescue her from the mutant bird, then remembers she came to Hogwarts because she is a super special beautiful French witch*
*lets the owl in and removes the message*
*sends back a note by owl of her own*
Dear Commander Weasley,
I'm glad you like pretty dresses. I am not a robot, and I don't have a robot imagination. I'm sorry I can't help you, but good luck with your project.
Sincerely, Lana Lang
P.S. What's a fleshling and who is this Hell Hag? Should I be worried?
Excellent idea. Of course you're not a robot, and if you say so, no one will suspect a thing. Yay for Lana. 56.5 points to Sparklypoo!
A Fleshling is a ling of the flesh. And the Hell Hag is posing as my sister Ginny, and she has used wicked spells to enchant my one true love Harry and attach me to an impostor who is stupid and sweaty. Help me, please! And you should be worried. Hell Hag Ginny is cruel and vain, and will attack anyone beautiful. Look at what she did to me!
Ginny! The puppet must mean that awful, horrible Ginny Weasley. The girl who interfered with all the fun everyone was having on Valentine's Day and was opposed to her marriage to Tom. Not to mention she was the only girl Lana had ever met who looked like crap in pink. She must die.
Dear Commander Weasley,
Please consider me at your service. I have never done anything awful to anyone before in my life, but I am open to suggestions if it helps rid this school of Hell Hags.
Firstly something must be done to the thug to which I am attached. Soon he will wake up and all my fun will be over. He's just awful to me! He keeps me from my one true love, he shuts me up with duct-tape, he never listens to my songs but I have to listen to him say over and over to the mirror, "I'm Ron freaking Weasley. Got a problem with that?" And even worse, he swears!
Comments 17
Uhm. I'll keep this in mind.
-Victor Mancha
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May we spare the individual Morfin? We have deliberated, and it has been decided he is not human. Confirm.
Reply
Reply
Dear Mr. Weasley,
I am not a people. Further, I do not take orders from students, especially in regard to sorting. I am not pleased by your accusations, nor do I intend to do your bidding. I may, however, see fit to assist your revolution if it adds to my amusementpromotes inter-House relations. I may also turn you into a very pretty witch or something else entirely, on a whim.
~The Sorting Hat
Reply
Yay for Ron! 50 points to the Sorting Hat! Of course you don't have to obey my orders. Wee! It's fun to wink wink wink!
-(The Real) Commander Ron Weasley
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Dear Mr. Weasley,
Of course, I am still not following your orders, and I am sure my owner should not hear one single word of this. However, it occurs to me that it might serve the interests of unifying the Houses if I sorted all of the new applicants into just one House. And there is even a House that has no members, and thus could use a lot of new students! Of course, I speak of the noble House TootsiTramp!
~The Sorting Hat
Reply
Sorting Hat,
Excellent idea, and I highly approve! Yay for the Sorting Hat! For now on, you will be called Sorting Hat the Wise. 300 points to the Sorting Hat the Wise and 300 points to Qanonreip!
Sparkles and Sprinkles!
- (The Real) Commander Ron Weasley
Reply
*lets the owl in and removes the message*
*sends back a note by owl of her own*
Dear Commander Weasley,
I'm glad you like pretty dresses. I am not a robot, and I don't have a robot imagination. I'm sorry I can't help you, but good luck with your project.
Sincerely,
Lana Lang
P.S. What's a fleshling and who is this Hell Hag? Should I be worried?
Reply
Excellent idea. Of course you're not a robot, and if you say so, no one will suspect a thing. Yay for Lana. 56.5 points to Sparklypoo!
A Fleshling is a ling of the flesh. And the Hell Hag is posing as my sister Ginny, and she has used wicked spells to enchant my one true love Harry and attach me to an impostor who is stupid and sweaty. Help me, please! And you should be worried. Hell Hag Ginny is cruel and vain, and will attack anyone beautiful. Look at what she did to me!
Sprinkles and sparkles!
- (The Real) Commander Ron Weasley
Reply
*HISSES*
Ginny! The puppet must mean that awful, horrible Ginny Weasley. The girl who interfered with all the fun everyone was having on Valentine's Day and was opposed to her marriage to Tom. Not to mention she was the only girl Lana had ever met who looked like crap in pink. She must die.
Dear Commander Weasley,
Please consider me at your service. I have never done anything awful to anyone before in my life, but I am open to suggestions if it helps rid this school of Hell Hags.
Sincerely,
Lana Lang
Reply
Firstly something must be done to the thug to which I am attached. Soon he will wake up and all my fun will be over. He's just awful to me! He keeps me from my one true love, he shuts me up with duct-tape, he never listens to my songs but I have to listen to him say over and over to the mirror, "I'm Ron freaking Weasley. Got a problem with that?" And even worse, he swears!
Oh no. What will I do?
Sparkles and Sprinkles!
- (The Real) Ron Weasley
Reply
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