Primavera Bobinski (the Dead trilogy, Richard Calder)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Mascarpone. It lends itself so nicely to confectionery and other sweets.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Whichever Miss Kito tells me to kill, unless I can infect suborn get to know Carrottop without wanting to retch, which isn't likely.
3. What time is it where you are?
In the Big Weird, it's 22:35. The night is still young.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Harassment is so unsexy, don't you think? Dumbledore should harass whomever he thinks would be most likely to be intimidated into letting him have his way with them. I really couldn't say who that might be. I'll try to find out.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Me, tend bar? Name a bar ... hmm, there's that awful place Ignatz likes to haunt, the Cafe Mental ... what a dull name. If I needed to tend bar, though, I think I'd name it after my favorite perfume, my signature scent: Virgin Martyr.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*tinkling laugh* Marriage? Is there even any point? If Fred and George both want Harry, let them come to some kind of arrangement. Or does Harry have the same problem as Dumbledore?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
*frowns, with a tinge of a small pout* I don't do paperwork.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I made my way from Manchester to Nongkhai, despite the quarantine and the Human Front, and I'm still alive to tell the tale. Provided you don't insist on a strict definition of alive. And I managed to keep Iggy alive along the way. *sweet smile* Though his DNA isn't what it used to be anymore.
I'm also one of the more effective contract killers in the Big Weird. I take it I won't have the opportunity to display that particular talent here. All the same, it should count for something, shouldn't it? I'm only fifteen, you can't expect my resume to be very long, can you? That wouldn't be fair.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Would you care for some chocolates? Only some of them are blood-filled. The others are solid. Take your pick.