[Application for Bernard Ludwig Black]
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese. Cheesey... tings... What's that sort that you cut up to make sandwiches? That one.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Depends. Are either of them likely to give me wine or large sums of money? If not then I clearly must immolate them immediately. There's just no other way.
3. What time is it where you are?
What time, where's the clo-- Buggering hell! Half ten? Why am I awake now? No one gets up this early. Well, if they work in a bakery of something.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I'd get Manny to do it for me. Sexual harassment can only end in a lawsuit or a venereal disease.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Wine. Wine and... whiskey and absinthe and wine tings... and who cares as long as there's drink?
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I could sing for you?
"Oh, I live in a ditch and the British took my teeth and we et our grandma when the crops failed..." Ah, the lovely songs from home. Have some wine and sing it with me.
Or, I've got books. Real actual books, not those tacky paperback monstrosities that idiots carry around to pretend they look intelligent.
Cheese. Cheesey... tings... What's that sort that you cut up to make sandwiches? That one.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Depends. Are either of them likely to give me wine or large sums of money? If not then I clearly must immolate them immediately. There's just no other way.
3. What time is it where you are?
What time, where's the clo-- Buggering hell! Half ten? Why am I awake now? No one gets up this early. Well, if they work in a bakery of something.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I'd get Manny to do it for me. Sexual harassment can only end in a lawsuit or a venereal disease.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Wine. Wine and... whiskey and absinthe and wine tings... and who cares as long as there's drink?
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I could sing for you?
"Oh, I live in a ditch and the British took my teeth and we et our grandma when the crops failed..." Ah, the lovely songs from home. Have some wine and sing it with me.
Or, I've got books. Real actual books, not those tacky paperback monstrosities that idiots carry around to pretend they look intelligent.