Oh, you humans. So much fuss over a basic feature of your own planet's orbit. A simple little solstice and everyone has a gaudy holiday full of enormous meals, family drama, and decorations everywhere
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As the Baron tended to spend the majority of his time within the apartments he now shared with Valentine Wolfe, it was not the caganer that caught his attention. Ensconced in the luxury of his magically altered surroundings, which now resembled some vaguely psychedelic blend of Giedi Prime and Golgolthan interior design, it was easy to miss such tasteless disruptions. The holidays weren't at the front of his mind, either, being meaningless to him personally- he had of course taken advantage of the opportunity to arrange a little something for Lord Wolfe, but didn't see much point to the holiday than a good excuse for some presents
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Family drama is tedious. Besides, my planet and my family with it are destroyed, and what good is drama when you don't have a stake in it? I'm not against parties, but not when they center around badly cooked turkey and tacky little Christmas crackers.
The worst the caganer might do is a bit of temporary olfactory unpleasantness. I have some more exciting toys, but they're tucked away for now. A certain someone might object if I maimed anyone over Christmas.
A response! Wonderful. . . apparently the Baron's desire for an immediate spot of entertainment was to be fulfilled.
Families are always tedious. That's mostly what they're for, aside from political maneuverings. Or less speakable things, if you were the Baron's pretty young nephew. A bit of tedium is good for a man, besides. Keeps you alert. How do expect to stay alert without a potential knife in the back? Complacency breeds bad habits
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Knives? How deliciously primitive. Still, atavistic methods can be deeply satisfying. And the complacent are too dull to count as a real target.
You know that I claim to have done so. But you have no proof. I could easily be lying, and there could be nothing at all hidden.I've had a lot of experience with schools and their rules.
Seeing as my last eventful Christmas involved a semi-botched resurrection, a kidnapping, subversion of the planet's population, and the narrowly averted destruction of the universe, that might be a bit tiring.
What, you don't remember Christmas of '09? I never did find out how you monkeys tried to explain that away, but it was fun being every person on the planet. Even if it didn't last.
Please tell me that whatever this thing is, it has been rigged with explosives. Holidays are so much more entertaining with a few fireworks, after all.
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The worst the caganer might do is a bit of temporary olfactory unpleasantness. I have some more exciting toys, but they're tucked away for now. A certain someone might object if I maimed anyone over Christmas.
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Families are always tedious. That's mostly what they're for, aside from political maneuverings. Or less speakable things, if you were the Baron's pretty young nephew. A bit of tedium is good for a man, besides. Keeps you alert. How do expect to stay alert without a potential knife in the back? Complacency breeds bad habits ( ... )
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You know that I claim to have done so. But you have no proof. I could easily be lying, and there could be nothing at all hidden.I've had a lot of experience with schools and their rules.
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I thought you might appreciate the caganer, seeing as it's non-lethal and Earth-authentic.
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Happy Christmas.
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Bah, Christmas. I bet this place has a bigger spread than the Naismiths'.
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I had rather a taste for motion-sensitive detonators at one point.
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