Castiel arrived at her door not long after she'd departed, worried and slightly heartsick; he'd never intended to involve her in something that would bring her such distress. Would never have asked anything of her that would be wrong to give, for his own sake or his friends'. But this was twice now she'd tried to help and it had gone wrong somehow
( ... )
She sighed quietly as he drew her near. “I’m sorry.”
All she had wanted to do was help his adopted family. Twice she tried and twice it had gone wrong. Death was beginning to wonder if that wasn’t a less-than subtle reminder that she shouldn’t have tried to get involved.
Even if it wasn't, she’d still blame herself for upsetting Bobby, and promising help to Sam and Adam more than what she could, in good conscience, deliver.
She understood Lorne’s point, but it was still so wrong. The hypocrisy of it rankled her deeply and she was sure that it bled into her voice when she spoke again. “I can make sure that the boys’ souls aren’t trapped inside the Cage. That’s all that I can,” her lips twisted in annoyance, “that’s all I should do for them.”
"You've nothing to be sorry for." He kissed her hair and ran a hand soothingly up and down her back. "Even that much is more than we have any right to ask. The Universe is not obliged to change its course for us." The others (Dean especially) might need a little time to understand that, but they'd come around.
His touch was a comfort and it went a long way towards easing her jangled nerves. "Someone should be sorry. For everything that you three have fought and suffered and even died for, for everything that they keep throwing at you. Somebody should be, because it's not right. When those boys die, they should at least be taken to where they truly belong. They've earned that much."
"The boys were all but manipulated into existence and set down their path. All of that external interference was allowed, but I can't even give them that one small kindness in death." She let out a small, frustrated sigh. Normally human emotions were a wonderful thing. Tonight.. they were crashing against her larger obligations in ways she had never anticipated.
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All she had wanted to do was help his adopted family. Twice she tried and twice it had gone wrong. Death was beginning to wonder if that wasn’t a less-than subtle reminder that she shouldn’t have tried to get involved.
Even if it wasn't, she’d still blame herself for upsetting Bobby, and promising help to Sam and Adam more than what she could, in good conscience, deliver.
She understood Lorne’s point, but it was still so wrong. The hypocrisy of it rankled her deeply and she was sure that it bled into her voice when she spoke again. “I can make sure that the boys’ souls aren’t trapped inside the Cage. That’s all that I can,” her lips twisted in annoyance, “that’s all I should do for them.”
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"The boys were all but manipulated into existence and set down their path. All of that external interference was allowed, but I can't even give them that one small kindness in death." She let out a small, frustrated sigh. Normally human emotions were a wonderful thing. Tonight.. they were crashing against her larger obligations in ways she had never anticipated.
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