Simkin from the Darksword Quartet
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Well, as the Contessa de Valerie used to say, “You can’t have a party without camembert”
Or was it Contessa de Camembert that said you can’t have a party without Valerie?
I always forget the details
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Egad. Kill? Me? And get my hands dirty?
That’s what people like Mosiah are for. Werewolves are built for it, you know.
You may have to endanger the dear boy’s lover friend, Joram though.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time for a cup of tea. And maybe some scones. Do you like scones?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Who is this Dumbledore fellow? He sounds much more interesting than Merlin. Merlin was a stodgy old man. Had an interesting trick with his hat though.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Joram. Because, like the dear boy himself, it’d be dark and gloomy. Haha.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
But soft, what light through yonder window break. It is the east and Juliet has fallen through the glass. Oh, Pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth. I didn’t mean to step on you.
How embarrassing.
What was the question again?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
*waves an orange silk handkerchief at the paperwork and it vanishes in a puff of butterflies. Or more to the point turns into a bunch of butterflies and flies away*
I do hope that you didn’t need any of that.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*turns into a tree* Strike me dead! I’m rotten. *rustles as he thinks*
I'm the fixed point of insanity in any sane situation. Many people find this comforting.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Well, I’m rather good at transformations and conjuring things. And illusions. Spectacular at that.
Did any of you happen to want to be a teapot?
I also know everyone that’s worth knowing. So I can introduce you.