Application: Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck)
((Terezi is completely blind, and can canonically smell and taste colors in enough definition to read printed text and computer screens. She will probably smell people, especially those with distinctive color schemes, but will not lick without ooc permission.))
Terezi must have stumbled into a gate or something, although she couldn't imagine how she could have missed the scent of the teal spirograph. And she hadn't the foggiest idea where she was, either - the walls were flat and grey as the facilities in the veil, but on closer inspection, the architecture seemed closer to that of Prospit. Or Derse, she supposed; her friends had said that the dark planet was similar to the light in most respects besides color. There was no scent of yellow or purple here, though, so that couldn't be the case.
Anyway, there was also no sign of any underlings or agents - or other trolls, for that matter. Just a few oddly pink-smelling people who didn't seem to be paying her any mind. They didn't seem hostile, at least.
Finding the table, Terezi picked up a copy of the application, running it under her nose. Was that really what it said? She gingerly licked the lines of text, and shrugged. It did seem to be. Terezi grabbed the quill and began filling out the sheet, with messy capital letters between the slightly dampened questions.
State your full name.
T3R3Z1 PYROP3
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
4LL YOUR 1NT3R3ST1NG HUM4N CH33S3S H4V3 W31RD T4ST3S TH4T DONT M4TCH TH31R COLORS
BUT TH3R3S TH1S TROLL CH33S3 C4LL3D COLBY-J4CK TH4T YOU WOULDNT KNOW 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
1 H4V3 SP3NT QU1T3 4LOT OF T1ME D3V1S1NG W4YS TO DO 4W4Y W1TH TROLL C4RROTTOP
1 4SSUM3 HUM4N C4RROTTOP 1S S1MIL4R?
3. What time is it where you are?
W41T
TH3 1NCIPISPH3R3 1S T1M3L3SS
WH3R3 4M 1?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
1 B3T TONKS SM3LLS TR1PPY
1 WOULD FOLLOW H3R 4ROUND 4ND SUCK ON H3R H41R
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
1N TH3 B4L4NC3
4ND 1T W1LL B3 V3RY 3XCLUS1VE SO DONT 3XP3CT TO G3T 1N
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
UGH
WH4T H4RRY DO3S W1TH H1S BON3-BULGE 1S H1S OWN PROBL3M
S3R1OUSLY WHY BR1NG M3 1NTO 1T 4T 4LL?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
1T 1S B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 STUP1D
YOU SHOULD F33L B4D
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
HOW COULD YOU 4CCUS3 4 BL1ND G1RL OF B31NG USL3SS?
WH4T JUST B3C4US3 1 C4NT S33 YOU TH1NK 1 C4NT DO 4NYTH1NG???
YOU M4K3 M3 S1CK
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
WH3R3 D1D TH3 R3ST OF MY C4PCH4LOGU3 D3CK GO???
1 GU3SS YOU C4N H4VE SOM3 OF MY OLD SC4LEM4T3 PLUSH13S
MOST OF TH3M H4V3NT 3V3N B33N ST4BB3D OR 4NYTH1NG
1 M1GHT N33D MY C4N3S THOUGH SO YOU C4NT H4V3 TH3M
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___GC_______
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____GC_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___GC______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____GC_______
Terezi must have stumbled into a gate or something, although she couldn't imagine how she could have missed the scent of the teal spirograph. And she hadn't the foggiest idea where she was, either - the walls were flat and grey as the facilities in the veil, but on closer inspection, the architecture seemed closer to that of Prospit. Or Derse, she supposed; her friends had said that the dark planet was similar to the light in most respects besides color. There was no scent of yellow or purple here, though, so that couldn't be the case.
Anyway, there was also no sign of any underlings or agents - or other trolls, for that matter. Just a few oddly pink-smelling people who didn't seem to be paying her any mind. They didn't seem hostile, at least.
Finding the table, Terezi picked up a copy of the application, running it under her nose. Was that really what it said? She gingerly licked the lines of text, and shrugged. It did seem to be. Terezi grabbed the quill and began filling out the sheet, with messy capital letters between the slightly dampened questions.
State your full name.
T3R3Z1 PYROP3
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
4LL YOUR 1NT3R3ST1NG HUM4N CH33S3S H4V3 W31RD T4ST3S TH4T DONT M4TCH TH31R COLORS
BUT TH3R3S TH1S TROLL CH33S3 C4LL3D COLBY-J4CK TH4T YOU WOULDNT KNOW 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
1 H4V3 SP3NT QU1T3 4LOT OF T1ME D3V1S1NG W4YS TO DO 4W4Y W1TH TROLL C4RROTTOP
1 4SSUM3 HUM4N C4RROTTOP 1S S1MIL4R?
3. What time is it where you are?
W41T
TH3 1NCIPISPH3R3 1S T1M3L3SS
WH3R3 4M 1?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
1 B3T TONKS SM3LLS TR1PPY
1 WOULD FOLLOW H3R 4ROUND 4ND SUCK ON H3R H41R
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
1N TH3 B4L4NC3
4ND 1T W1LL B3 V3RY 3XCLUS1VE SO DONT 3XP3CT TO G3T 1N
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
UGH
WH4T H4RRY DO3S W1TH H1S BON3-BULGE 1S H1S OWN PROBL3M
S3R1OUSLY WHY BR1NG M3 1NTO 1T 4T 4LL?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
1T 1S B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 STUP1D
YOU SHOULD F33L B4D
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
HOW COULD YOU 4CCUS3 4 BL1ND G1RL OF B31NG USL3SS?
WH4T JUST B3C4US3 1 C4NT S33 YOU TH1NK 1 C4NT DO 4NYTH1NG???
YOU M4K3 M3 S1CK
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
WH3R3 D1D TH3 R3ST OF MY C4PCH4LOGU3 D3CK GO???
1 GU3SS YOU C4N H4VE SOM3 OF MY OLD SC4LEM4T3 PLUSH13S
MOST OF TH3M H4V3NT 3V3N B33N ST4BB3D OR 4NYTH1NG
1 M1GHT N33D MY C4N3S THOUGH SO YOU C4NT H4V3 TH3M
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___GC_______
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____GC_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___GC______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____GC_______