An attractive young man, quite unusually dressed, stumbled directly thought the wall of the Sorting room. His outfit was a perfect replica of a fashion popular in the late 19th century, in an unexciting color of grey, which in itself was not unusual. What was strange was that it was a very proper woman's dress, close-fitting jacket, a white, lace-
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"I do not know this Jagged, and no. You do not know me from your previous home. You are in a magical school," he broke off, coughing raggedly.
A house elf appeared, tugging at the scarlet robes he wore. Raistlin crouched down, accepting a steaming mug from the creature. His smile to the elf was genuine, and his tone grateful as he murmured his thanks.
He straightened and sipped the brew, "The school is called Hogwarts on a plane called Earth. I was called here as you were. You are in the Sorting Room. Students will speak to you and vote which House suits you best. We are all divided into Houses; Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor."
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"What is a magical school? Earth is my home, and, I don't remember anyone calling me." He really didn't have a clue what the gold man in the red robe was talking about. Jherek looked at the house-elfs with vague amusement, just as unphased by them. They looked like small, wrinkly aliens, and thus, weren't actually very interesting. "I already live at my ranch, and have for some time now, since I got bored with my Hi-Rise. But, I appreciate the thought!" Jherek smiled politely at the man, entirely baffled, but Jherek had excellent manners and declined to tell him that he made no sense. He also felt it might not be ( ... )
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Turlough's committed a few deadly sins himself.
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For once, George was right.
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Jherek smiled brightly at the man who was apparently a vampire, which Jherek recalled from the ancient records. Why, this was marvelous! Because new experiences always were. He wasn't sure why he was holding out his hand, but, it occurred to him that it was probably a sexual advance. "I guessed you were a time traveller from your outfit. I've never met a vampire before. I'd always pictured you as something more batlike. I am Jherek Carnelian, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!" He took George's hand in both of his, and sidled up a bit closer, saying, "Your hands are wonderfully cold. It would be a pleasure to make love to you." Jherek was entirely cordial and casual about the proposition, as to him, it was perfectly normal social behavior.
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"Po!" crowed the big purple ... being who lurch-skipped toward Jherek. "Tinky Winky fwiend Po!"
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From nowhere the unseen Narrator clarified: "One day in Hogwartstubbyland, Tinky Winky met Po's friend."
The Teletubby ceased its dance to look up and raise its hands in prayerful affirmation. "Po! Fwiend! 'Cooter!"
This was how Teletubbies said scooter, and Po's favored accessory was her scooter, just as Tinky Winky's favored accessory was his red handbag.
"Tinky Winky wike dwess," he added wistfully, pointing a stubby fingerless mitt in the direction of Jherek's skirts. "Tinky Winky had a tutu. All gone."
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Predictably, Ofdensen said this in the most deadpan voice he could manage.
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