Application: Grima Wormtongue, LOTR
A shabby little crow-like man dabbed at his bloody lip with a handkerchief. He made his way through the tower, silent except for the rustling of silk on silk. Saruman was deep in his workings and that left Gríma to contemplate his own failure.
Just when he had finally succeeded in banishing Éomer. (By the Válar, he loved banishing!) He had his own bodyguard, Unfearth. And then, Láthspell. What part of 'forbid his staff' did Háma not understand!?
He swore quietly.
Saruman had been waiting for him at the steps of Orthanc. "The faithful servant returns and bleeds in sympathy, as he should." Those eyes were like fathomless wells. Despite the gentleness of the wizard's voice, Gríma shuddered; to be trapped in the tower with those eyes, to have Saruman's full attention was not something anyone would wish. He felt his eloquence, his very sanity was beginning to ebb away.
Saruman would yet rule Middle Earth, he had no doubt. Gríma's fear was for his own future.
He wandered until he came to a room unlike any other in the tower. It had a low wooden desk rather than stone pedestals almost too high for him to see over. He read the parchment. Was it some sort of test?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Sarcasm? Why would anyone bother asking him his favorite sort of cheese? "Any cheese at all would be welcome." Gríma's voice, unlike his appearance was pleasant, low and musical.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
His eyelids fluttered."I am afraid I do not know these people." Discretion, even here might be in order. "I suppose they may die." An unspoken if you wish followed. Just how he would accomplish the chore he had no clue. Study of their habits, gaining trust, slipping poison perhaps. He sighed. It was so much easier to send guards.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I do not know. Midday perhaps. Or midnight."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
That pulled him back. Judging by Eówyn's reaction he was truly bad at wooing. (Maybe he should have waited until Theodred's corpse was taken away? Too late now.
((He should never have read Richard III's book on seducing women*.)))
"I do not know this Order of the Phoenix."
Surely Saruman would not ask him to... He inhaled sharply.
"I would choose the one who could best further the interests of the kingdoms of Middle Earth, one who is noble as well as powerfully connected." With Éowyn, his claim to rule would have been unchallenged and besides she was reserved, intelligent, stunning in chain-mail and she seemed almost as lonely as he was. Éowyn, Oh, Éowyn!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Saruman would have him bartending? "Medusíld." What better name for a dark place?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"I would know more before I could advise this Harry." He licked his lips. Who these people were, why they all had the names of men, he could not say. "Political alliance would be expedient, though it hardly matters. The age of Men is over."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Saruman did not have paperwork. How strange. The question seemed to come from a scribe. He gave a small smile. "You must rise earlier, then. It is an advisor's job to learn all he can about a kingdom, so he may be useful to his lord." Even if the kingdom was a bleak little patch of grass, ruled by inbred horse-farmers with pretensions to noble heritage.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
That was the question. He frowned. "I- I have served faithfully." Right up until he became a traitor. "You know me, lord. I cannot lie to you, but I can persuade others. I can record, tend to details, perhaps in some new country. I have not failed you. I can still be useful!" Flattery was useless, as was searching for wounds to exploit. Saruman had none, as far as he could tell.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I offer my service. I offer my tongue and everything I have; my experience as counselor through the years." A pitiful offering to a wizard.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue__"
((*Excerpt from the book, (see question 4): "First, make ye right sure there is a dead body in the room, preferably that of her relative you killed yourself. In a pinch, you can use a relation whose death you caused indirectly, but mark you are seated right next to it when you make the puppy-dog eyes at her. Then you may be confident of winning the lady's heart.))
((Taken from movie canon. Yayy, Brad Dourif. But I like to imagine a book-ending would have happened, had Gríma stayed. Insanity, accusations of hobbit-eating and all.
This application is cleared with Legolas' mun. I'm new to writing Tolkien canon, and Gríma's a lot more eloquent than I am, so feel free to point out errors.
Please do not expose Happy Fun Gríma to the color white. He keeps a Secret Diary.))
Just when he had finally succeeded in banishing Éomer. (By the Válar, he loved banishing!) He had his own bodyguard, Unfearth. And then, Láthspell. What part of 'forbid his staff' did Háma not understand!?
He swore quietly.
Saruman had been waiting for him at the steps of Orthanc. "The faithful servant returns and bleeds in sympathy, as he should." Those eyes were like fathomless wells. Despite the gentleness of the wizard's voice, Gríma shuddered; to be trapped in the tower with those eyes, to have Saruman's full attention was not something anyone would wish. He felt his eloquence, his very sanity was beginning to ebb away.
Saruman would yet rule Middle Earth, he had no doubt. Gríma's fear was for his own future.
He wandered until he came to a room unlike any other in the tower. It had a low wooden desk rather than stone pedestals almost too high for him to see over. He read the parchment. Was it some sort of test?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Sarcasm? Why would anyone bother asking him his favorite sort of cheese? "Any cheese at all would be welcome." Gríma's voice, unlike his appearance was pleasant, low and musical.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
His eyelids fluttered."I am afraid I do not know these people." Discretion, even here might be in order. "I suppose they may die." An unspoken if you wish followed. Just how he would accomplish the chore he had no clue. Study of their habits, gaining trust, slipping poison perhaps. He sighed. It was so much easier to send guards.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I do not know. Midday perhaps. Or midnight."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
That pulled him back. Judging by Eówyn's reaction he was truly bad at wooing. (Maybe he should have waited until Theodred's corpse was taken away? Too late now.
((He should never have read Richard III's book on seducing women*.)))
"I do not know this Order of the Phoenix."
Surely Saruman would not ask him to... He inhaled sharply.
"I would choose the one who could best further the interests of the kingdoms of Middle Earth, one who is noble as well as powerfully connected." With Éowyn, his claim to rule would have been unchallenged and besides she was reserved, intelligent, stunning in chain-mail and she seemed almost as lonely as he was. Éowyn, Oh, Éowyn!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Saruman would have him bartending? "Medusíld." What better name for a dark place?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"I would know more before I could advise this Harry." He licked his lips. Who these people were, why they all had the names of men, he could not say. "Political alliance would be expedient, though it hardly matters. The age of Men is over."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Saruman did not have paperwork. How strange. The question seemed to come from a scribe. He gave a small smile. "You must rise earlier, then. It is an advisor's job to learn all he can about a kingdom, so he may be useful to his lord." Even if the kingdom was a bleak little patch of grass, ruled by inbred horse-farmers with pretensions to noble heritage.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
That was the question. He frowned. "I- I have served faithfully." Right up until he became a traitor. "You know me, lord. I cannot lie to you, but I can persuade others. I can record, tend to details, perhaps in some new country. I have not failed you. I can still be useful!" Flattery was useless, as was searching for wounds to exploit. Saruman had none, as far as he could tell.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I offer my service. I offer my tongue and everything I have; my experience as counselor through the years." A pitiful offering to a wizard.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _Gríma, son of Galmod, called Wormtongue__"
((*Excerpt from the book, (see question 4): "First, make ye right sure there is a dead body in the room, preferably that of her relative you killed yourself. In a pinch, you can use a relation whose death you caused indirectly, but mark you are seated right next to it when you make the puppy-dog eyes at her. Then you may be confident of winning the lady's heart.))
((Taken from movie canon. Yayy, Brad Dourif. But I like to imagine a book-ending would have happened, had Gríma stayed. Insanity, accusations of hobbit-eating and all.
This application is cleared with Legolas' mun. I'm new to writing Tolkien canon, and Gríma's a lot more eloquent than I am, so feel free to point out errors.
Please do not expose Happy Fun Gríma to the color white. He keeps a Secret Diary.))