Application: Sage: Lord Vishnu's Love Handles
They'd been grabbed right off the street, shoved into a van. Rat hadn't been able to get a punch in. Sage remembered one last glimpse of the Florida sun as the van doors slammed shut, the guy's arm around her as he held the cloth to her face.
Sage woke up on the stone floor, mouth tasting of cotton balls, unaware that she was now a candidate for the prestigious Hogwarts Albino's Club.
"Where am I" she asked and then more urgently "Where's Rat!?" Then again, no one who knew anything about them would keep them in the same room. She calmed down a bit. "Is this SHIMMER? If so, I like the redecoration! Finally, someone around the place with a gothic sensibility. And where are you keeping my brother?"
She noticed the scribbling pen and paperwork.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"We like those cheese crackers you get in vending machines. I used to go down the hall and buy them for Rat."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Trick question, huh? We've never killed anyone! We only wanted to interrogate her a little! And that coked-up guy went after Rat with a knife."
Sage sounded miserable "I'm sorry about Deborah, but we didn't mean to kill anybody. And we helped save the world. That ought to count for something. Did I mention we're legally psychotic?"
She grinned, showing off plastic fangs. "It's true. We believe we're psychic spies for the government. Good luck prosecuting us.
And Barney's annoying"
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't have a watch. It's May 14 2005. Afternoon."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sage looked impatient "If you want me to get him to seduce those people, you'll have to bring Rat here, and we'll have to meet the guy. Eclipsing someone's will only works if you're close to them. If he has any objection to seduction it won't work at all either."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh, in the dark. Not like I haven't heard that one before. ...Actually that's not such a bad idea! The Florida sun is brutal. I'd call it "Tenabrae" and order the good vodka and Dead Guy Ale and maybe put in a smoke machine, or would that be redundant?"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Once more, you'll have to be more specific. Which Fred, Harry, and George? You need to give me a specific target, geniuses. And the mythology will cost extra."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Oh, might as well try." Sage took a deep breath and concentrated on the form. When she spoke, her voice was very soft. "You had a teacher in junior high who made fun of you." One side of her mouth quirked up. "In front of the entire class, I'm sorry to say. Now, subconciously your boss reminds you of him so you procrastinate." Sage was enjoying this too much. "And...ah, you want to sleep with him. On some level. You're a twisted little thing, sweetness. I like you."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
We're not useless! We were the best Influencers at SHIMMER, the most correct on remote-viewing. I have latent PK talents, and that's really rare, and...and...I..."
Sage crossed her arms defensively. "Well, really, what else do you want?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I don't like Disney World and Florida was too hot anyway, especially in those Chip and Dale costumes. I could work for you. Spy." She smiled pointedly "Hey, I could even give you some decorating tips."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Sage________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Sage________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Sage_________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Sage__________"
((Note of warning: Sage is an empath who can read people's memories if they have strong emotions attatched. At times she deliberately reads people's embarassing and/or sexual memories...yeah.
I'll try not to godmod. Any inability to read people can be explained by their talents, will, or just because of a privacy spell around Hogwarts.
This is an experiment. The character has the potential to become really annoying. Oh, and there may be Language.
Extra note:Despite the icons, IC Sage is described as "hideous", although the main character may be a bit prejudiced.))
Sage woke up on the stone floor, mouth tasting of cotton balls, unaware that she was now a candidate for the prestigious Hogwarts Albino's Club.
"Where am I" she asked and then more urgently "Where's Rat!?" Then again, no one who knew anything about them would keep them in the same room. She calmed down a bit. "Is this SHIMMER? If so, I like the redecoration! Finally, someone around the place with a gothic sensibility. And where are you keeping my brother?"
She noticed the scribbling pen and paperwork.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"We like those cheese crackers you get in vending machines. I used to go down the hall and buy them for Rat."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Trick question, huh? We've never killed anyone! We only wanted to interrogate her a little! And that coked-up guy went after Rat with a knife."
Sage sounded miserable "I'm sorry about Deborah, but we didn't mean to kill anybody. And we helped save the world. That ought to count for something. Did I mention we're legally psychotic?"
She grinned, showing off plastic fangs. "It's true. We believe we're psychic spies for the government. Good luck prosecuting us.
And Barney's annoying"
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't have a watch. It's May 14 2005. Afternoon."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sage looked impatient "If you want me to get him to seduce those people, you'll have to bring Rat here, and we'll have to meet the guy. Eclipsing someone's will only works if you're close to them. If he has any objection to seduction it won't work at all either."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh, in the dark. Not like I haven't heard that one before. ...Actually that's not such a bad idea! The Florida sun is brutal. I'd call it "Tenabrae" and order the good vodka and Dead Guy Ale and maybe put in a smoke machine, or would that be redundant?"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Once more, you'll have to be more specific. Which Fred, Harry, and George? You need to give me a specific target, geniuses. And the mythology will cost extra."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Oh, might as well try." Sage took a deep breath and concentrated on the form. When she spoke, her voice was very soft. "You had a teacher in junior high who made fun of you." One side of her mouth quirked up. "In front of the entire class, I'm sorry to say. Now, subconciously your boss reminds you of him so you procrastinate." Sage was enjoying this too much. "And...ah, you want to sleep with him. On some level. You're a twisted little thing, sweetness. I like you."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
We're not useless! We were the best Influencers at SHIMMER, the most correct on remote-viewing. I have latent PK talents, and that's really rare, and...and...I..."
Sage crossed her arms defensively. "Well, really, what else do you want?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I don't like Disney World and Florida was too hot anyway, especially in those Chip and Dale costumes. I could work for you. Spy." She smiled pointedly "Hey, I could even give you some decorating tips."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Sage________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Sage________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Sage_________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Sage__________"
((Note of warning: Sage is an empath who can read people's memories if they have strong emotions attatched. At times she deliberately reads people's embarassing and/or sexual memories...yeah.
I'll try not to godmod. Any inability to read people can be explained by their talents, will, or just because of a privacy spell around Hogwarts.
This is an experiment. The character has the potential to become really annoying. Oh, and there may be Language.
Extra note:Despite the icons, IC Sage is described as "hideous", although the main character may be a bit prejudiced.))