"Assuming there are pipes is like assuming that the food is safe. A logical assumption, but when it backfires on you, it does it in a big way." Billy glanced back at him. "I think only Chance is in on the trilobite business. The rest of us are just along for the ride."
"... The food isn't safe?" Simon muttered something in future-bastardized Mandarin. "Nothing is safe. I get the feeling I'm in trouble." He gestured to the bathroom door.
Billy felt a twinge of pity. Simon would have to re-learn the pitfalls of the castle. "The food the house elves give you should be, but watch out for anything sitting out in the open."
He looked at the door. "I think you just have really bad luck," he said. "Right now, at least. Later on, most likely if you stick with us, you'll be in trouble." Billy bent toward Simon and lowered his voice. "You could leave. You don't have to help us look for this thing."
Watch out for anything sitting out in the open? Ah. "You're not talking about food poisoning, I take it," he said ruefully. (And indeed, there was a very low mayonnaise-to-enchantment ratio among the foods of Hogwarts.)
"Maybe I used up all my luck before I turned into popcorn. I ..." Technically, Billy was right. Simon didn't have to help them look for a trilobite. But helping people was what Simon did! It was part of being Simon! Plus ... "I guess I feel like I probably owe her something," he said, and he didn't have to gesture toward the door this time. "Besides, it beats playing jacks with my sister."
This was meant as a joke, but there was some truth to it. "So, can you fill me in?" On the trilobite hunting. On Dr. Silvey. On everything.
"No, things like magic food. It's always some random enchantment or another." He'd eaten two things, and neither of them had been fun.
Billy raised an eyebrow. "On what's going on between you and Chance? I don't know much about that. I only know her professionally, but my best guess is that you were either dating her or killed her dog, or something. Usually she's just serious, not outright cold like that."
He looked back at the bathroom door. "She knows more about the trilobite, too. Apparently it causes her to go into some sort of weird state when she sees one. Alan-" he corrected himself --Dr. Grant told me that his office had been covered with chalk drawings that she didn't remember making. Normally I'd be right along with her if Cambrian beasties were coming back from the dead, but I've seen stuff like that before. Anyway, I found the first one down here, and we might not have found the second one if you hadn't checked the bathroom for us."
That little slip -- Alan, Dr. Grant -- that mostly went over Simon's head. Mostly. He did catch it, he just didn't infer its significance.
"When you say you've seen stuff like that before ... you mean at Hogwarts?" Yeah, Simon wasn't going to dwell on his own little contribution to the trilobite expedition. Ducking into an out-of-order women's restroom was not his finest hour.
"No, like somebody cloned dinosaurs and set them loose as part of a theme park." What more could be said about that? "But once you've seen one extinct animal come back to life, it takes the shock out of the rest."
Simon shook his head, bracing his hands against his thighs as he stood. "That ... okay, you're not joking, somebody cloned dinosaurs and ... made a theme park. Do you think that's what happened with these trilobites?"
"No." It would have made things much simpler if it was a logical solution. "For one, you'd never be able to extract any organic material from a trilobite fossil. The dinosaurs were cloned from preserved blood, but there was no equivalent of a mosquito for trilobites. I don't think they're some sort of living fossil, either, like sharks. There's nothing here even remotely resembling a natural habitat for these things. Unless this is the castle's idea of a joke. It already brings back dead people so why not extinct animals?"
Simon thought this over. "It didn't look like it was a joke to Dr. Silvey," he said. "Nor to Dr. Grant." Though Grant hadn't looked nearly so shaken as Chance had.
He sighed. "This place is too much for me, I think. I say this as a man who spent the better part of the past year as a refugee living with a small band of mercenaries. In space."
Simon actually tried to do so. "Well, we're from the future --" And stopped with a chuckle. "This is going to take a long time to explain. And I have a lot of questions, if you'll indulge me." Mass marriage? "Ah, what would you say to a cup of coffee in the Ravenclaw common room later? I can regale you with colorful space-mercenary yarns." Not really, but it was fun to say.
Billy did not do a happy dance, because he was pretty sure that Simon's offer had not been made in the spirit Billy would have preferred. However, that wasn't going to stop him from accepting.
"Coffee sounds great," he said. "At the very least, it will be something normal and refreshing after this."
It was rather an engaging grin, wasn't it? (Chance would know.)
"Great! I'll see you at what they call tea-time? I think that's four-ish. Good luck with the trilobite quest." And he made his getaway, this time without resorting to any inappropriate lavatories.
Meanwhile, in said inappropriate lavatory: Chance had made a discovery.
"It looks like somebody took a penknife to it," Grant said. He could certainly see it, but it looked like graffiti to him.
It probably was a good thing that they were still in the lavatory, because outside there was a former grad student doing a happy dance, now that he was alone in the hallway.
"What?" Billy asked. "We're looking for evil trilobites. How is this not better than spending all day in the library?"
Grant shook his head. "I don't get you," he said, and left it at that because Chance had joined them. "Ready to go, Dr. Silvey?"
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He looked at the door. "I think you just have really bad luck," he said. "Right now, at least. Later on, most likely if you stick with us, you'll be in trouble." Billy bent toward Simon and lowered his voice. "You could leave. You don't have to help us look for this thing."
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"Maybe I used up all my luck before I turned into popcorn. I ..." Technically, Billy was right. Simon didn't have to help them look for a trilobite. But helping people was what Simon did! It was part of being Simon! Plus ... "I guess I feel like I probably owe her something," he said, and he didn't have to gesture toward the door this time. "Besides, it beats playing jacks with my sister."
This was meant as a joke, but there was some truth to it. "So, can you fill me in?" On the trilobite hunting. On Dr. Silvey. On everything.
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Billy raised an eyebrow. "On what's going on between you and Chance? I don't know much about that. I only know her professionally, but my best guess is that you were either dating her or killed her dog, or something. Usually she's just serious, not outright cold like that."
He looked back at the bathroom door. "She knows more about the trilobite, too. Apparently it causes her to go into some sort of weird state when she sees one. Alan-" he corrected himself --Dr. Grant told me that his office had been covered with chalk drawings that she didn't remember making. Normally I'd be right along with her if Cambrian beasties were coming back from the dead, but I've seen stuff like that before. Anyway, I found the first one down here, and we might not have found the second one if you hadn't checked the bathroom for us."
It was a diplomatic way of putting it.
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"When you say you've seen stuff like that before ... you mean at Hogwarts?" Yeah, Simon wasn't going to dwell on his own little contribution to the trilobite expedition. Ducking into an out-of-order women's restroom was not his finest hour.
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He sighed. "This place is too much for me, I think. I say this as a man who spent the better part of the past year as a refugee living with a small band of mercenaries. In space."
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"In space," Billy echoed. "Okay, now it's your turn to fill me in."
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"Coffee sounds great," he said. "At the very least, it will be something normal and refreshing after this."
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It was rather an engaging grin, wasn't it? (Chance would know.)
"Great! I'll see you at what they call tea-time? I think that's four-ish. Good luck with the trilobite quest." And he made his getaway, this time without resorting to any inappropriate lavatories.
Meanwhile, in said inappropriate lavatory: Chance had made a discovery.
"Okay, the sink this thing came out of? Take a look at this." In part because she wants to be sure she isn't seeing things. Please, let Grant see it too. In the side of the tap, the crude outline of a snake has been scratched.
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It probably was a good thing that they were still in the lavatory, because outside there was a former grad student doing a happy dance, now that he was alone in the hallway.
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