Owl to the Sorting Hat; CV for Head of the Hospital Wing
Dear, uh, Hat. Thing.
It has come to my attention that that miserable old my boss has recently become snack food, leaving the Hospital Wing without anyone in charge. Considering that I am the senior staffer there, not to mention the only one in the joint who actually knows anything, I'm throwing my name into the ring. What do you say ( Read more... )
It has come to my attention that that miserable old my boss has recently become snack food, leaving the Hospital Wing without anyone in charge. Considering that I am the senior staffer there, not to mention the only one in the joint who actually knows anything, I'm throwing my name into the ring. What do you say ( Read more... )
Comments 7
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Therefore, Perry Cox, you are hereby appointed School Nurse of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for the standard term of one year, to be continued upon application and approval. Your pay is set at the standard rate of *G*5,000 per annum, with room, board and sufficient robes and linens, and a house elf designated to attend to your needs. You may continue to live in Ravenclaw House, if you wish. However, you may wish to make use of separate, more private chambers. The hospital wing, including the hospital proper, your office and your chambers are located on the first floor and your office is on the second, above it. Your keys to your Hospital wing, with assorted keys to chambers within it, and keys to the staff room, and the staff bath are enclosed.
The Board of Governors wishes you the best success in your Healing endeavors.
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I just got an owl from the Board. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm just about as happy as happy can be to hear that I'm actually finally going to get paid to fix House Elf bruises for 10 hours a day.
That said, just what the hell job did you put me up for? Because the letter I got said "School Nurse." Which is definitely not what I was looking for, being that I am, in fact, not a nurse.
-Dr. Perry Cox
Head of Hospital Wing
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Surely the Board of Governors does know you are a Doctor! This and your love of alcohol make you the consummate Ravenclaw indeed! However it is Hogwarts tradition that the head of the hospital wing have the title of school nurse. Therefore you are both a doctor and a nurse! You are an enigma wrapped within a mystery and soaked liberally with Scotch! Think of it not as losing a son but as gaining a daughter!
The Sorting Hat
P.S. Fetish wear is optional.
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This is so not okay.
-Dr. Perry Cox, M.D.
Head of Hospital Wing, dammit
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