Application: Liz, Shaun of the Dead

[dont_exacerbate]

It was a good thing Liz had been warned about Hogwarts--specifically, about how damned weird it could be. Unlike many applicants, she didn’t just show up in the Sorting Room; instead, she and Shaun had taken the Floo system through Diagon Alley, a trip that made the Tube look like a paragon of efficiency by comparison. At least the Tube didn’t get

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[waste_lock]

Nny paused, mostly because he appreciated her bar names. He found broken glass very useful at times. But...

"Why do you have a rifle?" he asked in a disapproving tone. "I don't like guns."

[dont_exacerbate]

"It's a leftover from a zombie invasion," she said, quite candidly. "It's got...sentimental value, though not the good kind." Liz wasn't sure she could fully explain that, and she had a feeling Shaun wouldn't want to. "Negative value, you could say."

[waste_lock]

"You should burn it, then. Or blow it up or something."

[dont_exacerbate]

Shaun had warned her that some of the people here were far from well-balanced, and this young man definitely seemed to fit the bill. Liz was nothing of not polite, however, and pushed gamely on.

"How could you go about blowing up a gun?" she asked. Hey, you never knew--maybe Shaun would go for that, too. The fact that he'd kept the gun at all struck her as deeply unhealthy.

[makeminemayday]

May recognized Shaun from the Yoga Class of Embarrassment, and paused; wait, wasn't he with Susan? Or had she gotten the wrong idea? Better not say anything in case she had - she'd seen some serious relationship meltdowns triggered by sillier mistakes than that.

Instead, she chuckled at the bar name and gave Shaun a friendly wave. "I thought I was the only one who thought bartending in the dark would be kind of dangerous. Not just the broken glass, but it'd lead to some really weird mixed drinks." She offered a hand to shake. "Hi, I'm May. Came here to keep an eye on that one?" she asked, indicating Shaun with a grin.

Not that she knew Shaun's trouble magnet tendencies. Just that making sure the boy didn't get into too much trouble was something of a universal constant. She had dated Jack Jameson, after all.

[dont_exacerbate]

Shaun waved back as Liz shook May's hand. "Pleased to meet you, May," she said. "Yeah, he and Susan have been after me for ages to come here, and I thought I might as well make sure Shaun here doesn't get into too much trouble." Oh, if she only knew...Shaun hadn't told her about some of the worse bugger-ups he'd made here, but she knew him well enough to guess.

[makeminemayday]

Yep, she'd definitely gotten the wrong idea. Score one for knowing when to keep her mouth shut. "Probably a good idea," she said, smirking at Shaun; she'd heard a few things. Nothing too incriminating, but Shaun didn't know that.

To Shaun, she added with a grin, "Seriously, Kung Pow? If that's the kind of kung fu movies you watch, no wonder she doesn't think there's any art to it."

[dont_exacerbate]

Had either Shaun, Liz, or Susan known about May's mistaken assumptions, they all would have burst out laughing. As it was, Liz made a face.

"Oh, that's one of the less annoying ones, believe it or not. At least it's intentionally funny."

Shaun made a face right back at her. "It's an underappreciated genre," he said. He was wondering what on earth May could have heard, and if she'd pass any of it on to Liz.

[c_macaulay]

"I think it's quite possible to bartend in the dark if you know where the liquor cabinet and all the glasses are by heart, and if you keep the drinks really simple," said Camilla quite seriously. "It's good to meet you finally. I can't believe you got dragged here. Don't eat anything anyone leaves out."

[dont_exacerbate]

This must be Camilla, whom Liz had heard about from both Shaun and Susan--Camilla who had just been married, if she recalled correctly. "Curiosity got the better of me," she laughed. "Shaun wrote home so often about all the strange things that went on here, and Susan was so insistent, that I finally just gave in." She smiled. "It's good to meet you, too--Shaun told me you were married recently, so I think congratulations are in order."

Both Shaun and Susan had already warned her--emphatically--to stay away from food left out for common consumption, and yet a third iteration of that instruction made her leery of the idea of eating anything.

[c_macaulay]

Well, now, that was a little odd. Susan was insistent Liz should come to Hogwarts? After everything Hogwarts had done to Susan? And here Camilla had thought Liz and Susan were friends!

"Yes, it's like the old Chinese curse around here. 'May you live in interesting times'." Camilla smiled. "But Shaun must be glad you're here. And thank you, yes, we've only just gotten back from our honeymoon -- I don't think Henry will be by the Sorting Room, so you'll have to meet him later."

Unaccountably, she looked away when she said it, but she smiled too.

"I'm not used to talking about it yet," she explained; then, abruptly, changed the subject. "I guess they'll have told you this is a boarding school inside a castle. That means it's drafty and the linens and whatnot are absolutely inadequate. Did you come prepared? We can lend you some things if you like."

[dont_exacerbate]

Liz knew quite well what Hogwarts had done to Susan, and really it had only piqued her curiosity further. "I know that one quite well," she said. "Shaun's said there's very few zombies here, which is the only 'interesting' I'd rather not see."

She smiled. "Yeah, he's glad, and I'm glad to be here, honestly--I've missed him terribly, and he's no great hand at writing letters. It took me a while to get everything set in order--deal with the bills and all that--but I really did want to come to the school."

Linens...it wasn't something she'd thought of, but it did remind her of something else. "I've got a wedding present for you, somewhere in my luggage--once I've found out just where all my things went, I'll give it to you." Susan had told Shaun about Xipe Totec, and Shaun in turn had told Liz, who figured Henry and Camilla could probably use a present that wasn't hideous. "Also, I'm sorry for what Shaun did at your wedding," she added. "Sometimes, the man hasn't got the sense he was born with." Her tone was clearly affectionate, and

[sponge_girl_x]

Rogue felt a familiar twinge of jealousy at seeing two people who obviously cared for each other and were able to do something as simple as give or recieve a kiss on the cheek, but she put it out of mind. "So what'd you used to teach?"

[dont_exacerbate]

"A bit of everything," Liz said. "Fourth years in Stanton Primary. I still substitute teach every now and again, but everything's stlil a bit disrupted, thanks to Z-Day."

[sponge_girl_x]

"So that's..." Rogue attempted some mental calculation, then gave up. "Sorry, I'm not from the area. Is that like little kids, or the ones closer to my age? And what's Z-day?"

[dont_exacerbate]

"Nine and ten year olds," Liz said. "And Z-Day was something that happened about a year and a half ago now, when England got overrun by zombies. Though technically it wasn't just one day; 'Z-Day' is just what they called it when things got so out of hand people actually noticed it."

[ibrokeaplanet]

Teacher, huh? What subjects?

[dont_exacerbate]

"A bit of everything, really. I taught the upper levels at a primary school, so we covered English and maths and a bit of history."

[ibrokeaplanet]

Cool. Nice that you already know some people here. You know this is like a totally unstructured school, right? No class bells.

[dont_exacerbate]

"Yeah, Shaun told me about that. Apparently there's an enormous library, so I guess that's all right. I would like to be able to take one or two classes, though." There was only so much you could learn on your own, after all.