Yeah, good luck with that. Both parts. I mean, I've lived in tight quarters with the guy for most of my life. I still contemplate smothering him in his sleep with a pillow.
But, really, best way to deal with him is just remember that he's really not all bad and he'd totally Nair your shampoo. Equal parts fondness and caution.
Buffmail - Said chicken is looking a little guilty.busty_robinAugust 18 2007, 05:50:51 UTC
Sam,
Smothering would be too kind.
Not all bad? My suspiciously dwindling-junk food stash begs to differ. You DO NOT mess with the Stash! Granted, it might have been my big-butted chicken again, but I AM INCLINED TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE.
-Steph
P.S. AND GUEST SOAPS ARE FOR GUESTS! FOR GUESTS, DAMMIT!
Return Buffdone_huntingAugust 18 2007, 06:09:08 UTC
Steph,
Oh, yeah, someone should have warned you. If it's fried, glazed, or chock full of artificial preservatives, it's pretty much Dean's favorite thing. The man eats like a suicidal sumo wrestler.
Buffmail Expressbusty_robinAugust 18 2007, 06:51:04 UTC
Sam,
Has he changed at all since the age of eight?
Yeah...don't leave Buff alone around any of your food, linens, and/or bath products. You see, he used to be a tree and-
OH DEAR GOD. YOU PUT A NEW ROLL OF TOILET PAPER ON THE DISPENSER WHEN YOU USE THE OLD ROLL UP. COME ON! IT'S NOT FREAKING ROCKET SCIENCE.
-Steph
P.S. But there's non-guest soap! Right there! Clearly marked! And it smells like Juniper Mint! Which is much better than the way Dean and the hut usually smell.
P.P.S. Not that I ever got a 'Hey Steph, thanks for making my formerly ugly house smell halfway decent'. Did I mention that I was going to kill him? Or borrow his car. Which would in turn kill him. I'm okay with that.
Re: Slightly smoking owlbusty_robinAugust 18 2007, 18:27:12 UTC
Maia,
Hentai? Er - actually, that's okay. I am happy to stay uninformed on this one. And it's my opinion that tentacles do not make for an appetizing meal - you'd just be wasting your time!
...I'm living in a hut, with the school grounds keeper.
Steph- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I Was married! To a guy! A male guy! With gay bits! I've done some research, and, apparently this is all part of an evil homosexual agenda! Ask Jerry Fallwell, he knows! -Bart
Is this a common occurrence? Is that what that tent village thing is out there? They won't let me in. I'm working on it. I see lots of hot tubs, plenty of people fighting, and, dammit, I want in. Looks like the real life Temptation Island, guh. How much more drama can you get? Maybe Real World. America's Next Top Model? No? Oh well.
Return Owl, Charmed to play 'Cocomo' by the Beach Boysbusty_robinAugust 18 2007, 18:22:57 UTC
Veronica,
No! You don't want in! 'In' is not a location that you want to be! Allow me to suggest a different location: Aruba. Perhaps Jamaica. Off the Florida Keys. Get some tropical, frothy drinks with sugar on the rim. Doesn't that sound nice? I think that sounds nice.
Although I'd rather be in the tent village than in this shack. At least they have a rec center.
...I think I might have been the Hat's trial run. Like a lab rat, only treated less humanely.
Owl returns, warded to force anybody else into those horrible white slacksearthto_marsAugust 20 2007, 02:53:39 UTC
Steph,
What? You mean it's not filled with sex and drama and yo mama and other scandalous instances? Although I can't say 'no' to a nice day on the beach. Can my drink have an umbrella in it? Also, is it a nude beach? And will Milo Ventimiglia be there? Because I will be entirely happy to accept that as an impromptu birthday present.
Shack? Rec center? Lab rats? ...What the hell is going on?
Return Owl, warded to make unintended readers wear coconut bra.busty_robinAugust 20 2007, 03:38:07 UTC
Veronica,
Wow. That's a lot of questions. I'm gonna itemize, if you don't mind:
1. No more than the usual Hogwarts-drama, sorry to say. Although I'm not actually living in the tent village, so I might be out of the loop. I'm just a frequent visitor, to escape the rigors of...living in a hut. I live in a hut. With the school groundskeeper. Who I was forced to marry, as a precursor to the the subsequent wedding madness. So how's your love life?
2. Of course! What is a tropical drink without a little umbrella?
3. It is not a nude beach. My bad.
4. Milo Ventawhonow? You're speaking in tongues, woman.
I can see it now: years from his days at Hogwarts, Creepy McPoopyshoes tries to explain to his grandchildren exactly why his shoes are permanently pooified. Imagine how humilating it'd be, to tell them two girls pranked him with never-ending poop.
I'm sort of.... married and stuck in a tent village right now, but hopefully we can meet up and plot soon.
Return owl, charmed to self-destruct after being readbusty_robinAugust 19 2007, 00:43:28 UTC
Willow,
See, this is why you're a useful woman to have on board. Thinking in the long-term. That's what I like to see!
Ack! The Hat got you too? Look on the bright side: at least you get a hot tub! I get...a pretty scuzzy shower.
For security reasons, I don't think we should commit any more of The Plan to written record. I'm going to the rec center to take my martial frustrations out on a game of Yahtzee. Feel free to come by in a perfectly innocent manner when you have a chance!
Comments 105
Yeah, good luck with that. Both parts. I mean, I've lived in tight quarters with the guy for most of my life. I still contemplate smothering him in his sleep with a pillow.
But, really, best way to deal with him is just remember that he's really not all bad and he'd totally Nair your shampoo. Equal parts fondness and caution.
--Sam
P.S. Preaching to the choir.
Reply
Smothering would be too kind.
Not all bad? My suspiciously dwindling-junk food stash begs to differ. You DO NOT mess with the Stash! Granted, it might have been my big-butted chicken again, but I AM INCLINED TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE.
-Steph
P.S. AND GUEST SOAPS ARE FOR GUESTS! FOR GUESTS, DAMMIT!
Reply
Oh, yeah, someone should have warned you. If it's fried, glazed, or chock full of artificial preservatives, it's pretty much Dean's favorite thing. The man eats like a suicidal sumo wrestler.
Then again, the chicken looks pretty shifty.
--Sam
P.S. Dude, be glad he's using soap.
Reply
Has he changed at all since the age of eight?
Yeah...don't leave Buff alone around any of your food, linens, and/or bath products. You see, he used to be a tree and-
OH DEAR GOD. YOU PUT A NEW ROLL OF TOILET PAPER ON THE DISPENSER WHEN YOU USE THE OLD ROLL UP. COME ON! IT'S NOT FREAKING ROCKET SCIENCE.
-Steph
P.S. But there's non-guest soap! Right there! Clearly marked! And it smells like Juniper Mint! Which is much better than the way Dean and the hut usually smell.
P.P.S. Not that I ever got a 'Hey Steph, thanks for making my formerly ugly house smell halfway decent'. Did I mention that I was going to kill him? Or borrow his car. Which would in turn kill him. I'm okay with that.
Reply
--Maia.
Reply
Um....
That is to say...
BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Did he at least have a nice personality?
-Steph
Reply
Who cares about his personality? He is this close to becoming sushi, I swear.
So, what's your sorry tale?
--Maia
Reply
Hentai? Er - actually, that's okay. I am happy to stay uninformed on this one. And it's my opinion that tentacles do not make for an appetizing meal - you'd just be wasting your time!
...I'm living in a hut, with the school grounds keeper.
-Steph
Reply
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I Was married! To a guy! A male guy! With gay bits!
I've done some research, and, apparently this is all part of an evil homosexual agenda! Ask Jerry Fallwell, he knows!
-Bart
Reply
I don't think they're called gay bits. Just regular bits, used for other purposes.
And asking Jerry Fallwell anything never ends well. You're talking crazy!
-Steph
Reply
Guy bits, right. He says he's not gay.
But I keep see him looking at my butt!
-Bart
Reply
To be fair, it's covered in spandex. He might be staring in horror. Like, when you see a car crash, but you can't look away.
-Steph
Reply
I... what? No? I don't think?
Is this a common occurrence? Is that what that tent village thing is out there? They won't let me in. I'm working on it. I see lots of hot tubs, plenty of people fighting, and, dammit, I want in. Looks like the real life Temptation Island, guh. How much more drama can you get? Maybe Real World. America's Next Top Model? No? Oh well.
...Why? Did you get married?
-Veronica Mars
Private Investigator To Be
Reply
No! You don't want in! 'In' is not a location that you want to be! Allow me to suggest a different location: Aruba. Perhaps Jamaica. Off the Florida Keys. Get some tropical, frothy drinks with sugar on the rim. Doesn't that sound nice? I think that sounds nice.
Although I'd rather be in the tent village than in this shack. At least they have a rec center.
...I think I might have been the Hat's trial run. Like a lab rat, only treated less humanely.
-Steph
Reply
What? You mean it's not filled with sex and drama and yo mama and other scandalous instances? Although I can't say 'no' to a nice day on the beach. Can my drink have an umbrella in it? Also, is it a nude beach? And will Milo Ventimiglia be there? Because I will be entirely happy to accept that as an impromptu birthday present.
Shack? Rec center? Lab rats? ...What the hell is going on?
-Veronica
Reply
Wow. That's a lot of questions. I'm gonna itemize, if you don't mind:
1. No more than the usual Hogwarts-drama, sorry to say. Although I'm not actually living in the tent village, so I might be out of the loop. I'm just a frequent visitor, to escape the rigors of...living in a hut. I live in a hut. With the school groundskeeper. Who I was forced to marry, as a precursor to the the subsequent wedding madness. So how's your love life?
2. Of course! What is a tropical drink without a little umbrella?
3. It is not a nude beach. My bad.
4. Milo Ventawhonow? You're speaking in tongues, woman.
5-8. See item 1.
-Steph
Reply
I can see it now: years from his days at Hogwarts, Creepy McPoopyshoes tries to explain to his grandchildren exactly why his shoes are permanently pooified. Imagine how humilating it'd be, to tell them two girls pranked him with never-ending poop.
I'm sort of.... married and stuck in a tent village right now, but hopefully we can meet up and plot soon.
-Willow
Reply
See, this is why you're a useful woman to have on board. Thinking in the long-term. That's what I like to see!
Ack! The Hat got you too? Look on the bright side: at least you get a hot tub! I get...a pretty scuzzy shower.
For security reasons, I don't think we should commit any more of The Plan to written record. I'm going to the rec center to take my martial frustrations out on a game of Yahtzee. Feel free to come by in a perfectly innocent manner when you have a chance!
-Steph
Reply
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