Schrute Harem Beet Farm (Pretty much wide open RP)

[schrute_dwight]

Well. It was about time that this school started behaving in a sensible fashion. Unlike most of his fellow students, Dwight was thrilled at the odd turn of events. Yes. Marriage was most agreeable. Sadly, it could not be to Angela, but a Schrute always looked towards the future!

Heading to tent 23, he was even more ecstatic to find that not

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[tomowildcat]

Tomo and Lola didn't seem to notice the activity outside at first, presumably because they were distracted by more important things like chocolate. But when Tomo had finished hers off and washed her face and hands (she may have been lazy, but she wasn't dirty), she thought she heard something outside. "Hang on a sec," she said to Lola before hurrying to the tent flap and sticking just her head out in case it was more house elves.

She blinked at the guy hoeing for a second, and it took her a moment to recognize him. When she did... No way. Wow, this was wrong, but she couldn't resist.

Tomo leapt out of the tent, her voice loud enough to be heard by half the tent village. "HIYA, DOUCHE!"

[schrute_dwight]

Wide-eyed, Dwight turned to see Tomo. "No!" Horrified, he waved his ho at the girl. "No, no, no, no, NO!"

Stalking over to her, he puffed out his (sweaty) chest imperiously. "Get off of my property or I will have to alert the authorities in conjunction with federal law about interlopers and beet farms." Sniff. So there! "And my name is not Douche."

[tomowildcat]

((I know, bed, but I was checking my e-mail and had to reply one more time. Especially after "he waved his ho" took my brain in weird places.))

"What are YOU yelling about? I don't wanna be here either." She leaned back slightly, away from the sweaty chest in her face. "Gah. Ever heard of deodorant?"

She pointed over his shoulder at the line of house elves standing at the perimeter of the beet farm, several holding cattle prods at the ready and all eyeing Tomo warily. "What, you don't think I'd leave if I could? I've been trying, but those little jerks won't let me. They threw me in here! Ganged up on me and abducted poor, innocent little me to be thrown to the wolf who doesn't bathe!"

Melodramatic much? Yes. But that's the point.

"Pfft. It's something that starts with D, and 'Douche' suits you. Good enough. It's a term of endearment, you oughta be grateful for it!"

At this point, she's practically channeling Yukari, but the look on Dwight's face is so worth it.

[nicknamegirl]

Intrigued by the shouting and still clutching her half-full mug of hot chocolate like a security blanket, Lola went outside. She was properly greeted by the sight of a sweaty guy who should... defintely put his shirt back on. Because ew.

"What's going on here?" she asked, slightly resigned. "I've had enough weirdness happening in the past hours to make me last a long while." She looked at Dwight. "Who're you and why are you hoeing our backyard?"

[hellminxmel]

Getting away from the husband with the tentacles it all for a bit, Maia's checking out the rest of the place, slightly in wonder from the sheer evil that could have dreamt this idea up.

The Beet Farm is about midway through her wanderings. Maia glances over there, stares, and then smirks.

She strolls over to the fence, leaning over it. 'Hey, Sanchez!' she calls out. 'Alternative lifestyle time? How're you enjoying the company?'

Weirdly, she's not trying to be all that malicious. Just freaked out and teasing--marriage has knocked her for six a little bit.

[nicknamegirl]

Oh great. This, too.

"Maia," said Lola, in an irritated tone. She was starting to develop a massive headache, and she hadn't been aware that was even possible for angels. She couldn't really bring up the energy to snap at Maia properly, and settled for a hostile glare. It looked out of place on a face that was usually so bright and bubbly.

"Would you mind?" she asked sourly. "I'm on my honeymoon." Lola paused as she realised something. "So you were pulled into this, too? How is holy matrimony working for you?"

Yeah, okay, lame. Still. Ha ha. Holy. Lola hoped the very word burned Maia's ears.

[hellminxmel]

'Two out of ten for effort, Sanchez,' Maia says lazily. 'But your craftwork has really come on this term; I wouldn't let it bother you.'

She spares a glance to a very shirtless Dwight.

'At least mine doesn't have a pot belly.' No, Maia, he just has tentacles. That's not really a plus, however. 'And he doesn't expect me to have threesomes. Bad angel! No biscuit!'

[nicknamegirl]

"It's the inside that counts," said Lola loyally. Not that she was overly impressed by Dwight's insides either, but dammit, she was not shallow! And... country life... growing beets... It could be... Okay, this was officially a disaster. She would have to break free somehow.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," she continued condescendingly, because she'd be damned if she lost a fight with Maia... Well, metaphorically, anyway.

[the_office_pam]

Pam was fortune enough to have escaped the Hat's latest machination. But that didn't mean she hadn't noticed the strange, frenzied activity going on out on the school grounds. Curious about all the fuss, and wanting an excuse to escape the boring routine of Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade, she wandered out onto the grounds, ultimately finding herself privy to a very disturbing sight.

Someone had given Dwight a farm of some sort. And she was pretty sure she knew just what seeds he was planting in the soil.

And oh, god, he was shirtless. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Well, the upside was that this probably would provide some great fodder for pranks of some sort.

"Hey, Dwight," she said sunnily, shielding her eyes from the sun with one hand. "Did Michael ask you to come out here, or are you taking a day off?"

[schrute_dwight]

Hey! It was Pam! "Hi, Pam!" Dwight greeted her with a huge grin, pausing in his manly labors. Going to lean on the fence near her, he wiped his forehead with one hand, and then took a drink out of his sports bottle. "What?" Taking deep breaths to hyper-extend his already excellent lung capacity, he blinked at Pam

[the_office_pam]

Good ol' Dwight, always overflowing with tact. Later, to the camera, Pam would press her lips together and then say in a falsely bright tone, "...Thanks, Dwight. For reminding me of the awesome experience of my broken engagement and the fact that I'm still single. And the fact that I'm getting old. ...And the fact that I'm still single. Is there anything else that sucks that you'd like to remind me of?"

Now, though, she did her best to keep her expression neutral, saying, "Oh, um...no, I'm...still not married." And if the Hat was crazy enough to give Dwight a farm and two wives, then she would definitely remember not to ask it to set her up on a blind date anytime in the near, medium-term, or far future. "But...thanks for the vote of confidence, Dwight." Without her being aware of it, her right hand drifted down to her left, some of the fingers twisting around the now-empty ring finger.

Yikes, poor girls who were forced to be married to Dwight. That must be awful for them, she thought, visions of high-collared nightgowns and beet

[anythingawesome]

The offices of Dunder-Mifflin had been overflowing with enraged phone callsowls, demanding that one of its employees - a Mr. Dwight K. Schrute - stop blinding his already traumatized neighbors. Thus it fell to Kelly Kapoor to save the day.

"DWIGHT!" Kelly exclaimed, walking to the Beet Farm in a huff. "Put your shirt on!"