The Hat, pleased with itself, basked in the serenity of its grand new home in
El Mundo del Sombrero. While the students roughed it in wizarding tents, the Hat would enjoy the luxury lifestyle with
the foulmouthed fix-it queen of its hatly dreams. O, the lovely Virginia. A pity she was human and not a hat. They probably couldn't produce any duck
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Comments 31
Still, being told that she was bound by magic to some new spouse? That was hurting her head a little, and she was still trying to sort through the hierachy of Hogwarts. Not knowing if this were a usual occurence, Laura makes up her mind to find out more about the history of the place as she enters her new room.
The Hat had got one thing right; she very much prefers to be inside.
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"You things are quite lucky I do not presume you to be tasty, as you are just begging to have me show you just how sharp my teeth can be."
When a frightened, but determined house elf neared with a cattle prod, Lestat waved his hand dismissively, scoffing.
"Oh I'm coming, I am not an animal and I will not be herded along."
With that, he made his way to his - hopefully - temporary new home. Assuming that it was his now, for the duration of this little joke, he made no attempt to knock, but instead entered straightaway, flanked by house elves loaded down with his belongings.
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Her concentration is interrupted by some man barging in through the door. Laura does not gasp, or tut disapprovingly; she only half-turns from the window, eyebrows raised a little.
'And I suppose you're the spouse the Hat indicated?'
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The statement was full of his idea that he, of course, did not make mistakes.
"I do not know if you have been here longer than I, as I hve not seen you here before, but I was hoping someone would shed a little light on this precocious sham of a prank."
He glanced in her direction, straightening his shirt sleeve and pulling it out from under his jacket. Whatever the laugh may be, he could definitely have ended up in worse company.
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"Are you for fucking pissing real? I thought we had a pissing understanding when it came to fucking marriage?! What do you expect? For us to have fucking sombrero sex, giving birth to miniature fucking turbans pop out of us? I like the female homo-cunting-sapiens!"
Oh, she was pissed.
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Then it levitated over to her a tiara, a truly grand diamond tiara, whose crest spelled #1 in twinkling garnets.
"That's for you," it said, a little sadly.
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"I appreciate the gesture, I, I really do, but why? Why do you like me? I'm shit, you don't wanna be with me"
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"I like your attitude! You've got pizzazz! You like cussing and setting things on fire! I can't think of a more fitting queen for El Mundo del Sombrero!"
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