Application for John Preston (Equilibrium)
John Preston, once one of the most elite of Libria's Tetragrammaton Clerics, surveyed the fires burning throughout the city--Prozium factories, targeted by the underground--and allowed himself a smile. The smile tugged at his split lip, and he was aware that the bullet graze to his neck was staining his white dress uniform and dripping down his arm and to the floor, but he knew he was lucky to have done what he'd accomplished as whole as he was. He held a scrap of red ribbon in the hand not currently covered in blood and thought of Viviana, four years too late.
He turned from the window and found himself somewhere else entirely. He went for his weapons on instinct, two pistols out in front of him and held at the ready. After a second or two passed with no threat sighted, he loosened up and lowered the pistols. A piece of parchment (Parchment? Where am I?) caught his eye. He picked it up and read it silently before answering the questions aloud.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
John blinked rapidly a few times, face habitually blank. "I.. I don't know. It never mattered before." He thought about the question, didn't come to any real conclusions, and finally shrugged. "Cheese is cheese, isn't it?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The old answer would have been, "Whoever was a suspected sense offender," or "Whoever seemed more likely an enemy of Libria," or even "Both, quicker than you can blink." Now? He wasn't sure. "I don't even know who they are. I've never shied from doing what is necessary, but I'd like to know who they are and why I should consider killing them first."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Where I am? I'm not sure where this is. It was morning in Libria, though." He checked his watch to be sure. "Nine forty-three in the morning, Libria standard time."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Harass... what? Why would you do that, unless--" He knew the words, but had a little trouble with the concepts still. He had loved Viviana in his own way, he supposed (after all, they had been married for several years prior to her arrest and incineration, and he had begun feeling something in these past few days, which he assumed was several years' worth of affection and four years' worth of loss finally catching up with him) and had felt something for Mary--and that still hurt something awful--but harassment? "I wouldn't. I haven't sunk that low." He wondered briefly if these questions were a clumsy attempt in ascertaining his guilt as a sense offender. No need to hide it now, not after slaughtering the vast majority of the guards in the Palace of Justice, along with DuPont and Brandt.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bars, those places of iniquity where the baser sides of human nature won out, had been outlawed along with music and literature. A cleric's distaste lingered in his answer. "I don't bartend, in the dark or otherwise."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Again, that blank look. "I don't know any mythology. It was all condemned as EC-10 material years ago. I don't... marriage in Libria was just the formalized method of ensuring that children were still produced and raised in a stable, supervised environment. I have two of my own, actually." His face tightened for a second, wondering how Robbie and Lisa would be faring at the moment. "I know before the Third World War there was talk of same-sex unions, but with Prozium suppressing emotions love isn't felt anymore and there's no reason for marriage if there's no children produced now. So... I don't know," he finished, a tad lamely.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Do you work for the government? I've found that it tends to be one part action for every ten parts paperwork. You just... do it." He hadn't realized until very recently how incredibly boring paperwork was, honestly.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
He lowered the paper slightly, looked around, and then picked it up again, looking more than slightly offended. "I'm a Tetragrammaton Cleric, First Class--or at least, I was," he said, as if it should have been self-evident. "Useless cantidates never make it through the monastary." There was really no more to be said on the matter.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Bribe? Why--? But I don't--I wasn't allowed to bring anything in to meet Father." He looked down, wondering if "squib" was another word for "incinerate" and whether he had anything he could afford to part with if that was indeed the case. His pistols? No, there was no way he would be completely unarmed here. He wasn't carrying a sword anymore. And there was no way he was going to give away Viviana's ribbon, all he had left of her. What could he offer? "I suppose I could instruct someone in self-defense," he said reluctantly. "As a Tetragrammaton Cleric I'm ranked expert in swords, unarmed combat, and most firearms." "Most" was an understatement. Firearms of all sorts were his job, and the past hour had proved that he was nothing if not adaptative when it came to using other people's weapons against them.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JP
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JP
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JP
One day, marmalade will rule the world. JP"