Application for Yoda, Star Wars
Yoda appeared in the Sorting Room with a lack of fanfare. Just one tiny green Jedi looking very old with swamp mud on the hem of his worn robes and leaning on a gnarled wooden cane. He sniffed the air, ears twitching a bit, and smiled at nothing in particular. "An interesting place, I have come to. What is this?" He hobbled over to a table where the application sat, climbed up onto a chair with some effort, and looked over it, chewing on his gimer stick cane. "A school, this is?" He watched with some interest as a quill pen next to the parchment snapped to attention, ready to record his words. "Very interesting."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Mmmm, cheese! A long time has it been, since I have had cheese. When back on Coruscant I was, nerf cheese I liked. Appreciate your cheese now, for one day, have it you may not!" He chuckled to himself. "Mammary glands reptiles have not, and far too old to be milking things now am I."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
He lost his merry demeanor suddenly, looking grim and ancient. "Talk of killing so lightly, you should not. A path to the Dark Side, killing for no reason is. Only when all other options are gone should an end to life be considered. Seen far too many friends lost to it, have I. Far too many." His ears drooped.
3. What time is it where you are?
"Time? There is no time in the afterlife of the Force! Even if distinct from it, you learn to remain. Though now that a body I have once again?" His face crinkled into a smile. "Lunchtime, I say it is, yes!"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Mindless lust, a path to the Dark Side may be! Force yourself onto others, you should not. To rage, it can lead you, when your advances they do not meet. Or to jealousy, if to someone else they desire instead! Accept what comes your way or does not, you should. Tricky things are emotions. Without them, no better than a droid would you be, but if ruled by them you are, then easy it is to be misled and manipulated are you."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"A bartender? Yoda?" He giggled at that. "The Bar in the Swamp, would I call it. All for honesty in advertising am I!"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Yoda sighed and shook his head. "Listened to my previous answer, did you not? Accept what comes your way, you must. What has mythology to do with it?" He sighed. "Tell you a story, I will. In love with someone was a man, and fear for his love he did. Twist his love, a supposed friend did, and destroyed was that love. Honesty with themselves, should these beings have."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Paperwork, hmm? If in a position of authority you are, inevitable it is! Know you how much paperwork the Jedi Council had? Never ending it is! When nine hundred years old you reach, and Grand Master of the Jedi were you, quite used to paperwork you get. No paperwork in hiding was there, though fuel for a cooking fire I could have used, yes!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Useless?" He smiled serenely. "Useless I am certainly not. Useless, no one is."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Material goods, I have not. Need them, I do not. However, many students have I trained, and many worlds have I visited. Many stories can I tell, and advice can I give. Acceptable is this?"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Yoda
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Yoda
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Yoda
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Yoda
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Mmmm, cheese! A long time has it been, since I have had cheese. When back on Coruscant I was, nerf cheese I liked. Appreciate your cheese now, for one day, have it you may not!" He chuckled to himself. "Mammary glands reptiles have not, and far too old to be milking things now am I."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
He lost his merry demeanor suddenly, looking grim and ancient. "Talk of killing so lightly, you should not. A path to the Dark Side, killing for no reason is. Only when all other options are gone should an end to life be considered. Seen far too many friends lost to it, have I. Far too many." His ears drooped.
3. What time is it where you are?
"Time? There is no time in the afterlife of the Force! Even if distinct from it, you learn to remain. Though now that a body I have once again?" His face crinkled into a smile. "Lunchtime, I say it is, yes!"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Mindless lust, a path to the Dark Side may be! Force yourself onto others, you should not. To rage, it can lead you, when your advances they do not meet. Or to jealousy, if to someone else they desire instead! Accept what comes your way or does not, you should. Tricky things are emotions. Without them, no better than a droid would you be, but if ruled by them you are, then easy it is to be misled and manipulated are you."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"A bartender? Yoda?" He giggled at that. "The Bar in the Swamp, would I call it. All for honesty in advertising am I!"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Yoda sighed and shook his head. "Listened to my previous answer, did you not? Accept what comes your way, you must. What has mythology to do with it?" He sighed. "Tell you a story, I will. In love with someone was a man, and fear for his love he did. Twist his love, a supposed friend did, and destroyed was that love. Honesty with themselves, should these beings have."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Paperwork, hmm? If in a position of authority you are, inevitable it is! Know you how much paperwork the Jedi Council had? Never ending it is! When nine hundred years old you reach, and Grand Master of the Jedi were you, quite used to paperwork you get. No paperwork in hiding was there, though fuel for a cooking fire I could have used, yes!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Useless?" He smiled serenely. "Useless I am certainly not. Useless, no one is."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Material goods, I have not. Need them, I do not. However, many students have I trained, and many worlds have I visited. Many stories can I tell, and advice can I give. Acceptable is this?"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Yoda
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Yoda
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Yoda
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Yoda